Down I drifted into the clouds. They yielded eagerly to the will of my wings. The underside of the clouds pouted, dark and heavy with rain that would not fall into Sleep.
After I floated down and out of the clouds, I turned my focus to the ground. I saw around me clearly, but my eyes remained shut. I focused on our hut as I descended.
Dust hibernated on the empty shelves and corners. Exhausted petals littered the floor. It took a long time for this much neglect to happen. Our hut idled in limbo between the damp clouds and the thirsty ground. Even from outside, I could see empty bowls and pots strewn inside it. Mother slept at the table with her head lying on her crossed arms, half of her hair greyed. How long had I been gone?
I tried to be gentle as I squeezed through the entrance of our home, but my wings caught something on the floor and scraped. Mother jerked her head up, startled, as I entered. The morning light shone in her bleary eyes as I drew near. My shadow glistened with colors and spread over the table. It found her face and she lifted her heavy head toward me. She saw what had made the noise standing in front of her. She shook her head, perplexed.
"Sera? Is that you?" She squinted her eyes as our hot star emerged from its slumber in the hills. I felt her apprehension as she approached with her hand out, fingers spread. "Sera, why are your eyes closed?"
I clenched them tighter. Home needed to be stronger than this. The more I concentrated the more I could see. Just a tiny pile of barley lay at the bottom of a pot. I immediately thought of Chaza. Shifting my mind's focus allowed me to see her. She slept behind Lulu's hut, tired and thin. I thought of all the children I used to play with under the old acacia tree. I spotted each of them, their faces barely recognizable sitting on top of longer arm and legs. They guided their herds through lush green pastures, but their smiles were gone.
"Yes, Mother. It’s me." I stood up straight so she could see how big and strong I was. "I know what to do now."
She smiled a reluctant smile.
This was not all right. None of this was all right. Our Mer was somewhere in our trees. I could play its song and bring the waters down from the clouds and to the lake. I turned to find it.
"Sera!" She snapped my focus back inside. "Where are you going now?" I needed to explore the rest of Sleep. I had never been beyond the market before. She touched my hand and I took a few steps backward. "Follow me, Mother." I backed out of the hut and lifted off the ground. Flying was easier than walking now. Mother trailed me as we made our way down the old familiar path toward the market. The wind lifted sand from the dry ground and pelted it against our bodies.
I thought of the Mer as we made our way. I remembered the feeling of its tone and it calmed me. I wished Mother could feel this. I saw the Mer again in my mind and the ringing filled my head. It was nearby. Mother slowed her pace, exhausted from trying to keep up with me.
I landed at her feet. "Go back and rest. We will be all right soon."
"Come here." Her voice was soft and steady as she opened her arms. "I know it will." I fought to keep my eyes closed. I swooped down to one knee for a long-awaited hug. She wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed hard. She regarded me with a trust I had not seen before. Her hand patted the bird's egg I carried, and she caressed its shell as if she recognized it. She brought it to the base of her neck and sang a note to it.
The egg rumbled and the air around us chilled. She sang her second note and the air thickened with greens and yellows. She adjusted her intention and sang her melody into it. It was the lullaby I had played on my crystal necklace ten thousand times before.
When her song ended, she passed the egg back to me. I placed it at my throat and sang. The path to the Mer opened clearly in a thin yellow current behind me.
I would not let her down. She turned back to Sleep, and I went to our Mer.
