At eight o’clock on Wednesday morning, Ashley and Sister Heather entered the small conference room where the re-evaluation team was meeting.
They sat down and Ashley looked at the faces around the table. All of them were either smiling or trying to hide a smile.
Ashley had already been to exercise class at 5:30, had spent twenty minutes in the Catholic chapel, had enjoyed the Worship and Reflection time led by Sister Claire, had eaten a hearty breakfast, and had vacuumed the common area of Rivendell Hall. She was ready for anything.
“Good morning, Sister Ashley!” Brother Randy Robert said. “We always start these meetings by answering the question we know is foremost in your mind. Although several of us have some thoughts to share with you, every person in this room agrees that you have been a valuable member of Lyceum, and it is our pleasure to welcome you today as a permanent member.”
Ashley
grinned.
“I’d like to mention,” Sister Sheena said, “that our use of the word
‘valuable’ is in a very literal sense in your case, Ashley. Lyceum generally invests about twenty thousand dollars during a new member’s first year. In your case, Lyceum has profited by your activities by about ten thousand.”
Ashley’s mouth opened, but she didn’t know what to say.
“And,” Brother Howard began, “that does not include the value of the life you saved, which may have resulted in the saving of millions of lives, considering the politics involved.”
Ashley was rapidly turning red with embarrassment.
“On another topic,” Brother Timoteo began, “both we and the United Nations have noted that you have brought your French to a high level of fluency, and that you have taken advantage of numerous leadership and diplomatic training opportunities during the past year. If you will leave your I.D. book with Sister Leonora in the near future, she will properly endorse it for Level Two Diplomatic Clearance, which will allow you to fill the roles of Technician or Interpreter on diplomatic missions.”
Now she was grinning from ear to ear with pride.
“I wish to mention,” Sister Maria began, “that bringing Jenny Clark into the Hospice Program was both insightful and courageous. I know Jenny is thankful of the time she had with us, and you may have heard that her music is becoming widely known and popular.”
“Yes,” Ashley whispered, although she was feeling sad at that moment remembering Jenny.
“We are, of course, very proud of your gymnastics accomplishments, and we hope you have found plenty of opportunities at Lyceum to make your dreams come true in that area,” Brother Ben said. “You certainly deserve every possible chance to make them a reality.”
Ashley nodded. “Lyceum has helped me make more dreams come true than I knew I had!”
Everyone either smiled or chuckled.
“Your teachers tell us that you are a good student, and that you are well on your way to completing your G.E.D.,” Brother Henry said. “We also hear that you are a pleasure to work with, and that you are very skillful and productive at all your work assignments.”
Ashley grinned. “I’ve always liked doing a good job at my work and my chores.”
“I, however, have a criticism,” Sister Rachael said with a serious but kindly look on her face. “And the concern I am about to express is shared by all of us.”
Ashley ceased grinning and paid close attention.
“You are very good at pushing yourself to fulfill all your responsibilities, and going on from there to accomplish many good things that no one ever
expected of you. I have no fault with that aspect of your personality. It probably qualifies you for sainthood.”
Ashley cracked a tiny smile.
“You are much less good at taking care of your own heart, at getting the love and support you need to handle the stresses you are often under. You are young and strong, and you might be able to go on like that for awhile, but someday it will catch up with you. Someday you will find yourself unable to do what needs to be done, for Lyceum, for yourself, for an employer, or for someone you love, just because you have neglected your own heart.”
Ashley’s head was bowed, and the tears were very close. She knew what Rachael was talking about. Suddenly she felt the intense need to tell them what happened. They cared about her, and she wanted them to know.
“As soon as Tim saw my bandages, he...” She couldn’t say any more as her body started shaking and the tears came rolling out. Sister Heather wrapped her arms around the crying thirteen-year-old, and Sarah and Joan came around the table to help comfort her. Everyone else in the room felt her pain in one way or another. They had all been there in their own fashion.
After a few minutes, Ashley was able to speak again. She completed her story, even though everyone had guessed the ending. But because Sarah was in the room, she didn’t say anything about her feelings for Shawn. She would just have to find someone else... someday.
The team made some suggestions for social and recreational activities that Ashley might enjoy, and she promised to get the cosmetic plastic surgery done as soon as the Olympic games were over. Finally, with nine o’clock rapidly approaching, she exchanged hugs and handshakes with everyone in the room, and departed with Sister Heather at her side. Just before she left, Brother Timoteo slipped a folded note into her hand.
Liberty was waiting in the lounge outside, and when she saw Ashley’s red eyes, she looked concerned. But Ashley flashed her friend a grin, and Liberty relaxed, waved, and entered the conference room.
Ashley spent another half hour with her mentor, who then had to leave for work. Sitting on the front steps of the Main Lobby, letting the morning sun strike her face and arms, Ashley dug in her pocket and pulled out the note Brother Timoteo had given her.
Ashley,
I’m sorry I haven’t been on campus much recently. I will be around a little more from now on. Would you enjoy having dinner with a fellow diplomat, in the Garden Dining Room, at five o’clock?
Brother T.
Ashley felt a tiny bit of warmth enter a place inside her that had been cold ever since her last televideo call to New Orleans. She hopped up and dashed to the nearest computer screen to leave a note for Brother Timoteo saying that she would be happy to have dinner with him.
Liberty stepped into the conference room alone.
Sarah hopped up and met her. “Since you don’t have a mentor right now, can I sit with you?”
Liberty smiled. “Sure!” she said, feeling a sudden warmth for the almost ten-year-old girl, who knew nearly everything Liberty was thinking, but never blabbed it to anyone.
They sat down side by side and Liberty felt much more at ease than she had expected.
“Zdrastvui, Siestra Svaboda,” elderly Sister Rebecca said. “Since your self-evaluation booklet indicates that you wish to remain a member of Lyceum, we will begin by telling you that we are in unanimous agreement that you have, in every way, earned our respect and love, and we welcome you as a permanent member for as long as you wish to stay.”
A huge smile flashed onto Liberty’s face, and she hugged Sarah warmly.
“No amount of appreciation from us compensates for the honorable way in which you handled the attempt on your life,” Brother Timoteo began, “and the great service you gave to humanity by taking your message all over the world on your recent trip. We realize that trip carried an emotional price for you and others. We are all at your service if there is anything we can do to help those wounds to heal.”
“Thank you,” she whispered.
“We have noted your strong leadership skills,” Brother Howard said, “and
we want you to know that your first Diplomatic Clearance will be granted very soon, after you have a chance to firm up your Russian fluency just a little bit more. You chose a difficult language, but we understand that you very much enjoyed your recent visit to Russia, and your language skills are definitely sufficient for you to spend some time at our planning office in Moscow if you would like to. That would be an excellent way to polish your fluency, and fulfill your residency requirement for a clearance.”
“I’d like that very much! As long as I can take Jason...”
Many smiles reassured her that it was possible.
“By the way, Liberty,” Sister Maria said, “we have confirmation from the Secretary General that the vote will be on August 14th, and he would appreciate you being ready at two o’clock.”
Liberty closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ll be ready.”
“You have handled the discovery of your own telepathic abilities very well,”
Sister Rachael said. “I will be teaching a class starting next month for you, Sarah, Marty, and the three sensitives we have on campus, so that you can all hone your talent, protect your privacy, and learn to respect the privacy of other telepaths.”
“I’ll be there!” Liberty said. “Unless I’m in Russia.”
“We understand you are almost ready for your rotary-wing private pilot’s exams,” Sister Joan said, “and that you are becoming skillful at the maintenance and minor repair of those complex and wonderful aircraft. We wish you well, and we look forward to flying with you as our pilot.”
Liberty smiled with pride. “I just have a handful of lessons to master, and a few more hours of flight training time!”
Brother Ben said, “We all share with you the loss of Sister Nancy, and we also know that you and your father lost more than we did. You seem to have healed from that loss for the most part, but the fact that you have not yet selected a new mentor causes us to worry that you are still hurting somewhere inside. We trust you are smart enough to know that you need to let that remaining wound heal, and let another watch over you, just as we all, young and old, have someone to watch over us.”
“I’ll try,” she whispered.
“Your teachers all tell us that you are a brilliant student,” Sister Sheena
said. “We all know that you have become one of Lyceum’s most competent Environmental Control Technicians. We are aware that you earned your G.E.D. Honors Certificate last winter, and we understand you have made great strides in your baking skills and in your ability to enjoy and care for children.”
“Children are still hard sometimes, but I figure I’d better get used to them... or become celibate!”
Everyone in the room laughed. No one thought that Liberty had the slightest chance of becoming celibate any time soon.
“I just have a few criticisms to share,” Brother Henry said. “We know the circumstances that caused considerable stress recently between you, Jason, and Shawn. No one here pretends to have a perfect answer to the problem you faced. Many of us might have done less well in that situation. Please just remember that when a heart gets broken here at Lyceum, we still have to live together, work together, and play together. We have all learned to be careful with relationships.”
Liberty’s eyes looked sad. “I don’t ever want to do that to anyone again. I may have lost one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and... it’s not worth it. I want to start taking responsibility for my emotions. What I did to Shawn is...
too much like the way I used to treat people back in Philadelphia.”
Brother Henry nodded. “We have noticed that you are still sometimes bothered when you discover that people younger than you are better than you at things. Lyceum is one of the gathering places of the gifted. If you want to be comfortable here, you will have to get used to that fact. When you are tempted to feel envious of someone, perhaps it would help to pause and consider how many of us would be envious of you if we allowed ourselves to be.”
Liberty was red with embarrassment. She had no idea her weaknesses were so well known. She nodded in acknowledgment, but tears were too close to allow her to speak.
The meeting turned to lighter thoughts, and by the time Liberty left, she was in a good mood again. But as she stepped out into the corridor, leaving alone as she had come, she passed Shawn and Brother Jacob going in, and her heart leapt inside her. She knew she would never again ask him to be her
lover, no matter how much stress she was under, but she longed for the day when they could sit at the same table again, along with Ashley and Jason and Sarah, and know that they were the best of friends.
“Hello, Shawn,” Sister Joan said.
Shawn had always admired the sixteen-year-old who worked in the Biology Lab, but knew she was very tight with the young doctor Randy Robert.
“It’s good to be here,” Shawn said. “The last year has been the most wonderful year of my life, even though...” He looked at the floor. “Even though it’s had its up and downs.”
“I understand,” Joan said. “My first year at Lyceum was an emotional roller coaster too. But that’s another story. Brother Shawn, I have the honor of telling you that you are now a permanent member of Lyceum. Your ability to serve others is exceptional, and we are very lucky that you have chosen to stay.”
Shawn was smiling in his own timid way.
“You showed just how dedicated you are to Lyceum, its members, and its missions when you accompanied Liberty on her recent journey,” Brother Timoteo said. “The demands she placed on you were unusual, and in supporting her, you risked losing your other friends.”
“It seemed to be God’s will at the time.”
“That you must discern for yourself. We just want you to know that we are all in awe of your courage and your ability to give of yourself, but we also want you to know that when Liberty’s needs became extreme, you could have said no, and we would have understood.”
“Thank you,” Shawn said. “I guess I might feel differently in the future if I’m ever in a committed relationship with someone.”
Sarah started to smile, but stopped herself before Shawn noticed.
“Your willingness to confront your father was appreciated far beyond our ability to express,” Brother Howard said. “An enemy like that could have cost Lyceum millions in public relations efforts and legal costs. Hopefully your assertiveness will pave the way for a reconciliation someday.”
“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I had to do it. He controlled my life for too long as it was.”
Brother Howard nodded in understanding.
“Your work with Marty Jelwen has been invaluable,” Sister Rachael said.
“You have created a stronger, more beneficial relationship with him than just about anyone else. His parents have commented several times on how much Marty likes you.”
“I’m very comfortable with Marty, but I’m glad Sarah works with him too because of his telepathic abilities!”
Sarah
grinned.
“All of your teachers say that you are dedicated to your studies,” Sister Sheena said, “and we know what a change you made in your educational path after coming to Lyceum, from being forbidden to study science, to delving into it with a passion. And we understand that you are fun to work with, and always put your whole heart into every task you undertake.”
“I was never allowed to do anything at home except clean my room. Now working is one of the most fun things in my life.”
“We have one concern that I have been asked to share,” Sister Maria said.
“Even though you have come far from the days when your father dictated everything you could and could not do, you still have a tendency to be very passive when it comes to getting what you need in life. There are ways to be respectful of others, and at the same time to express your needs and wants so that others who care about you can give to you, just as you are so good at giving to others.”
Shawn bowed his head. “You’re right. I don’t like the ways my father got what he wanted. But I guess I haven’t figured out my own ways yet.”
“We have some workshops that might be useful to you. Brother Jacob can help you look into them if you want,” Sister Maria said.
Shawn’s meeting with the re-evaluation team ended with handshakes and embraces. Sarah looked at him with a special light in her eyes. She had known him for a year in person, and for more than another year through letters. She had seen him at his best, and at his worst. She very much liked what she saw, and hoped that someday he would look at her, and like what he saw.
But she was also very patient.
Jason was in the small animal barn tending a minor cut that one of his goats had received. It was a warm summer day about a week after Liberty had been accepted as a permanent member of Lyceum. He was happy for her, and he wanted to learn to trust her again, but he knew it was going to be a long, slow process. He was beginning to realize that this was the other side of the coin he had been given, a coin that had a very beautiful and desirable girl on its face.
As he finished salving the cut, he heard footsteps on the wooden floor of the barn, and a few moments later the stall door opened. Shawn sat down in the straw not far away.
“Hi, Shawn. Go on, Daisy,” Jason said, giving the goat a little slap on the rump. She pranced out into the sunshine.
“I came to say I’m sorry,” Shawn said.
Jason stayed seated, picked up a piece of straw and started twiddling with it. “I guess I could be angry at you, but that would be a little simplistic, wouldn’t it? And I can’t really bring myself to be angry at Liberty either, considering what she accomplished on that trip for... the whole world.”
“She did more than I could have ever done, having to shake hands and smile and answer questions for all those government leaders.”
Jason sat deep in thought for a moment. “The funny part is... if she had taken me, I don’t know if I could have handled all that crying and stuff.
Maybe what happened... is the only thing that could have worked. I don’t know.”
Shawn also picked up a piece of straw and started twiddling. “I promise I’ll never go anywhere with her again, unless you’re along too.”
“Thanks. I guess if she had to do a mission like that again, she’d have to take you for the daytime, and me for the nighttime!” Jason said and cracked a smile.
Shawn
smiled
also.
“I gather she was your first,” Jason said.
Shawn blushed. “Yeah.”
“Brenda was my first. I still think about her, but our personalities are too different. I guess there’s always a special place in your heart for your first lover.”
“I... guess I’ll never forget Liberty,” Shawn said. “I just don’t want anyone to hate me or be afraid of me. And... I feel like I owe you something. I don’t know what... clean the barn for you ten times or something, I don’t know. But I want to give you something.”
Jason considered the offer. “Maybe that would help us both to feel finished with this business, I mean between you and me. It’s a lot more complicated for me and Liberty. I’m going on vacation in October, and taking her with me if all is well between us by then. You can help Brother Mohammed take care of the animals for me while we’re gone...”
“I’d be glad to!” Shawn said with relief and a smile.
“She doesn’t know about it yet, so keep it to yourself.”
“I
will.”
“Great. You should start coming a few days before we leave so I can show you everything. Do you have a vacation planned?”
“Um... no. I don’t have anyone I can visit, and I really like being at Lyceum.”
“What about Greece? Your Greek is getting good, I hear.”
“Efharistó. Gosh... I hadn’t thought about going there for a vacation.
Would Lyceum pay for something like that?”
“If you study the language while you’re there, and help out in the office in Athens a little, I bet it would be no problem.”
“Am I interrupting?” Liberty said, leaning over the rail.
“Come on in, Lib,” Jason said. “Shawn and I were just rebuilding some bridges.”
Liberty sat down in the straw with them.
“I was here to apologize to Jason for what happened,” Shawn said.
“And I’ll say again what I have said to Jason many times in the last two weeks,” Liberty said, “so that you can hear it too, Shawn. It was all my fault.
And if I ever go on a hard mission again, I wouldn’t mind having friends along, but they shouldn’t have to deal with my deepest emotional needs. I’ll take my lover along too.”
The three young people clasped hands and looked into each other’s eyes.
Both Shawn and Liberty knew their feelings for each other would never go away. But for the sake of friendship, they were ready to keep those feelings in
their proper place. They had glimpsed the consequences of doing otherwise, and the price was more than they could pay.