“I need to see the place where you dwell,” says Lukas. “Take my hand, close your eyes, and imagine your home.”
Without asking questions I do as he says. Eager to see what happens next I shut my eyes and think about my house. I visualize the cracked 70’s styled wallpaper in our kitchen and its colors of brown and orange flowers on a beige background. I see our nicest piece of furniture, the brown leather couch as it comes to focus; a gift from Nathan that he bought us with his first big paycheck. The shelves on the wall are now in view and the picture frames with our family portraits center themselves in their correct positions.
“You can open your eyes now,” says Lukas.
I slowly raise each eyelid and see that we are no longer in the middle of the meadow in the woods. Instead we stand in the center of my house, in the living room facing the family portraits.
“Whoa,” I say.
It almost feels like I’m dreaming but everything seems to be real. I reach out and touch the couch to feel its soft surface.
“Is this your mother?” asks Lukas. He steps closer to the family pictures to look at them.
“Yeah, that’s her. She was really young in that picture.”
I look around for a moment and notice the silence. “She’s not home yet, probably stopped at the bar.” I stop myself from saying anything else. With the recent reconciliation between her and me, I don’t want to embarrass her.
Lukas turns to look at me. “Do you believe she suffers from an addiction?” he asks.
“Honestly, yes I think she might be an alcoholic. But she only started drinking more after Nathan passed away.”
“Your brother’s death is not the only reason she drinks. She is trying to fill a void in her life that comes when you lose sight of Him. That never-ending feeling of deficiency, the emptiness, it plagues even the richest men on Earth if they do not have God in their hearts.”
Lukas picks up the picture frame that holds a photo of my mother sitting in a chair with a solemn expression on her face. He puts his hand over her image and when he removes it her frown slowly turns into a smile.
“That’s incredible,” I say as I stare at the picture in amazement.
“Most will be confused or ignore the cause of their emptiness and they will try to fill it with worldly possessions, toxic substances to numb them, or mend it with a measure of their success. But there will always be a piece missing that will keep them wanting more. Until they open their hearts and give Him back the spot He has reserved they will try until death to find a substitute for His love. Nothing will suffice.”
“I know that feeling,” I say. “But I also know what it feels like to start be made whole again.”
“You have let Him in, but the challenge is to not let Him go.”
I pause for a moment before I speak. “I prayed with my mother the other night and I think she was being genuine. But alcohol addiction runs in our family. Her mother and father were both drunks and there’s a good chance I would have taken that path if it weren’t for this intervention.”
“She has God in her heart now,” he says while continuing to inspect the rest of our house.
“I think so.”
“That was not a question. I know she does. They held a celebration and He is proud of you for leading her. He is with her now. She must continue to believe. She will need to confess her faults and change her ways so she will remain strong. If there is still doubt in her mind she will fall backwards into the arms of the enemy who can influence her thoughts if she lets him.”
“So even though alcoholism runs in the family…” I start.
“You see addiction as a disease?” he asks.
“Well, yeah I do.”
“Then consider it curable. Addiction is an idea created by humans so they could try to explain that obsession of filling their void. But the truth is that evil is the only thing that can trick you into filling your life with a heavy amount of anything else besides God because it keeps you distracted. With Him they can defeat it and luckily even those who don’t believe can still beat it with the help of good people. That is one of His gracious gifts.”
“So you think I’m going to be okay?” I ask.
“You are going to be okay, Ms. Zenny Moone. Just be aware that no human is bound by the corrupt choices of their bloodline, especially if they accept Christ as their Lord and Savior. Shame on the parents who do not realize the amount of influence they can have on their child’s development, but shame on the child who grows into an adult and stays stuck in the bad habits of their parents. If they see their mother or father doing evil then they must pray for a way to escape from it and He will show them an exit. He will adopt them and even those who have never had parents will have the only Father they will ever need from now to eternity.”
“So with Him there’s hope for everyone.”
I’m elated by this discovery. So often I was told that a belief in God was merely a person trying to create their own feelings of courage and comfort. I mocked these people, only now their faith-filled solutions are starting to make sense.
“It does not matter if someone comes from poverty, or a broken family, or any other misfortune. With Him there is hope for everyone, this is the truth.” says Lukas. “There comes a time where each person will have to let go of their past. They cannot always blame the world and its people for their circumstances. Many end up selecting the wrong path because they believe they have no other choice. But all have been given a chance to change, a chance to choose, a chance to heal. It will not always be easy but all have the ability to withstand with His help. Unfortunately only few will see they can live a better life, because many have no faith and they are filled with fear and disappointment. They will give in to the world.”
Lukas walks into the kitchen and runs his hands over the cracked wallpaper, using his fingers to touch each ripple. As he does this the cracks in the paper begin to mend and start to look brand new.
“Do you know that those who have experienced difficulties have the God-given ability to become more powerful and blessed than any other human who has been given an easy life?”
I stare back at Lukas not sure of how to respond.
He continues. “Because they have to work harder to conquer their circumstances they can become stronger than the ones who have faced no obstacles. Because they learn to appreciate even the smallest blessings they are more likely to see God and his goodness than the ones who expect convenience. And because they must learn an abundance of life lessons they become wiser than the ones who have the answers given to them. It is a secret that these people who the world calls the “unfortunates” have actually been given the tools to become God’s greatest creations and recipients of His everlasting grace and mercy. It is a shame when they succumb to their surroundings and to the world’s judgments, losing all of their potential greatness because they lack faith.”
Lukas pauses and looks back at me. “Never let the enemy or his minions discourage you from discovering your God-given abilities and the truth behind His existence.”
I reflect on this and try to understand. He’s really not holding anything back. I’ve only been with him for an hour. I guess since our time together is going to be brief he has to get straight to the point.
“May I see your room?” he asks.
“Sure,” I say hesitantly.
I walk him down the hallway towards my bedroom. I’m relieved I cleaned my room yesterday. If parents told their kids to always keep their room clean because you never know when a messenger of God may walk through your door, then I think fewer rooms would look like a tornado had passed through them.
I walk into my room and Lukas steps in behind me. He looks around from side to side and stays quiet. His gaze comes to a stop and lands on the poster of the pop star Leila O’Hare that I have hanging above my dresser.
“Who is that?” he asks.
“You don’t know Leila? She’s like one of the biggest pop singers right now. She sings “Hot Girls Don’t Cry” and “Booty Bang-Bang Earthquake.”
Lukas furrows his eyebrows at me. “Seriously?” he asks.
“What?” I ask defensively, although I can’t help but laugh. This is the first time he’s ever sounded sarcastic. “I know the song titles are kind of weird but they’re great dance songs. The beats are awesome.”
“She is a puppet and works for the enemy,” he says blatantly.
I laugh again thinking he’s joking. He remains stern.
“What are you talking about? She’s not working for evil Lukas,” I say. “She gives to charity and look how pretty she is. Does someone evil look like that?”
“The enemy can disguise his followers as he pleases so that you will find them admirable and be easily deceived. She may even act like a saint that praises our Creator, but she has sold her soul for a pitiful price and she is of least importance right now. You will see the truth soon. Take the poster down,” he says.
“Okay,” I say tensely.
This is becoming more difficult as each second goes by. I know that I’ll have to change but I didn’t know this meant giving up everything I had loved before. Still, if what Lukas is saying is coming from God then I must listen. I rip down the poster. Bye-bye Leila.
“Give praise only to the One that truly deserves it,” he says. “Come now, we must move quickly.”
Next Lukas has me imagine my school so that he can see where I spend most of my day. When I shut my eyes all I can think about is the argument I had with Lindsay. I can still hear her yelling at me and I envision her calling me names and wishing for my demise.
Her screams grow louder and it sounds as if she’s right in front of me. I open my eyes to see that we’ve somehow traveled back in time and now I’m watching my argument with Lindsay from the sidelines. Lukas stands next to me.
“What are we doing here?” I ask and stare in amazement at the sight of myself standing in front of me. The scene around us is running in slow motion.
“You are the one who brought us here.” he says. “Does this girl bother you?”
“Of course she does,” I say. “I mean, look at her.”
We watch Lindsay as she yells at me. The veins in her forehead start to protrude. I see small drops of spit come out of her mouth as she shouts and one drop makes its way to land on my shirt.
“Gross,” I say and look down at my sleeve where the spit landed earlier. I try to sneakily rub any spittle residue on to Lukas’s holy robe, which I’m sure has the power to cleanse.
Lukas notices. “Gee thanks,” he says.
“She’s a horrible human being,” I say.
We continue to watch the fight only this time I’m able to see Daisy sneaking up on us from behind a building. It appears that she’s been watching us the whole time.
“No one can see us,” Lukas assures me, “we are only in your memory.” The fight continues and then Daisy enters the scene and makes her proclamation.
“You helped strengthen Daisy’s faith,” he says as he watches her speak up. “God heard her prayer that day at the palm. It was the only unselfish prayer so He chose to fulfill her request.”
I smile knowing that I had been a part of the reason Daisy’s faith flourished. Then I watch Lindsay approach her and I feel angry all over again. I watch myself continue to confront Lindsay and we move into our battle stances.
“You know karate?” Lukas laughs.
“Not at all,” I say and start to laugh with him. We really do look ridiculous. “We need to stop people like her. I should’ve slapped her.”
“No. There is nothing good that will come from you acting just as she does,” says Lukas. “As hard as this may be to understand, it is not your responsibility to judge others for their wrongdoings against you or the world. This will cause your heart to solidify. Pray for her.”
Now I’m the one who furrows my brows at him.
“She has lost her way and something is plaguing her,” he says, “so now she hears the enemy and his whispers tell her to act on jealously and anger and bring pain to others around her so she is not alone in misery. Then the ones she affects will spread their agony like a virus and it becomes an endless cycle. Pray that she finds her way so He can end her wrath. If she continues this she will always misrepresent Christ and His people, surely the enemy knows this.” Lukas slowly turns to look at me. “Never let broken people influence your understanding of Him.”
I have to admit at this moment I’m hesitant but I do as I’m told. I lower my head and say a prayer for Lindsay, my tormentor.
When I look up I see Mr. White has already entered and is escorting us to the office. Lukas has a smile on his face.
“Our Lord says “Well done” my good friend,” he seems to be speaking to Mr. White even though he cannot hear him. Lukas notices me watching him. “He was given a task and he completed it. Bernard was a good friend of mine and I knew he would be up for the challenge.”
Bernard. I didn’t know that was Mr. White’s first name. To me teachers are always a Mr. or Mrs., but now I see him more humanly and as someone I can relate to.
God will use His people to help others just like Satan will use his followers to hurt others,” he states. “You have come in contact with the devil’s minions and demons and you have also encountered God’s saints and angels.”
“Virginia Bloom----,” I start.
“…was an angel in disguise,” he finishes my sentence. “She is lovely and is always willing to make a trip down here to save a soul.”
Even though I should probably feel honored that angels have been sent here to help me, I can’t help feeling humbled. Knowing my past and everything I’ve done. I’m far from perfect. I’ve made so many mistakes yet He’s decided to try to save me. The crack made in my heart breaks even more and simultaneously I feel a pain in my chest and hold my hand to my heart.
Lukas doesn’t seem to notice I’m distraught. He’s still speaking kindly of Bernard White. I only hear the last words of what he’s saying.
“…he and I would go fishing there all the time. He is a good man and I will see him again. Now as for the enemy’s minions, did you know Ms. Aldridge is one of the wickedest?” he asks.
I recover myself quickly when I hear this.
“I knew it!” I yell. “She's always so mean to me; I swear it's her goal to make me feel like an idiot!”
“Well yes, it was actually,” he says. “The enemy sensed there was something different about you and he did not like it. So he influenced one of his followers to stay close to you and destroy your strengths.”
“Unbelievable,” I say.
“Believe it,” he tells me.
“I don’t mean that literally. I just mean give me a break. It’s not like I wasn’t going through enough----.” I stop for a moment and think about what Lukas has just told me. “Did you just say the enemy sensed something about me?” I ask.
“Yes.”
Lukas looks the other way and starts walking out of the school. “Just like a lion can smell its prey and stalks it before he tries to attack. You shall see all of the enemy’s tricks and how he tries to end our efforts. And when the sun goes down is when the darkness creeps over the earth.”
“Dude you’re so confusing.” I’m starting to grow impatient with his cryptic language. “Why do you talk like a fifteenth century Monk?” I ask.
“This is how everyone speaks in Paradise. He speaks through me,” he says. “If you do not understand then you are still lacking faith which must change quickly.”
“Yeah, you mentioned that already,” I say, “but do you think for the sake of my sanity and knowing that I’m new to all of this maybe you could just tell me what you mean about the enemy being able to smell me? Do I really smell? I did shower this morning.”
Lukas chuckles. For some reason his laughter comforts me every time.
“No, you do not smell,” he says. “Listen, if the enemy sees you are getting close to God he becomes bothered. And if he finds out you will do good things for God’s people then you become a threat. He will try to devour anyone that is against him. Do you understand this?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Good.” He continues to walk out of the school and onto the sidewalk near the street.
"I'm in danger,” I say knowingly.
Lukas becomes silent and slowly turns to face me. “All will be revealed soon. Just know that He is with you and you are protected. You must go home now and get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a day of His disclosures and you will need your strength. I’m glad to see the change in you already.”
I’m surprised when he says this. I know I feel different but is it possible for others to see that I’m changing?
“I will meet you at your home in the morning,” says Lukas. “Goodnight…dude.”
Lukas smiles at me and then right before my eyes he fades away and turns to dust.
Dear Diary,
Dear God,
Something interesting happened to me today. For the first time since I’ve started believing in You I’ve realized how sin can destroy us. It’s like a slow-releasing poison that once ingested can be lethal without the antidote (You). How vicious is this venom that it has the ability to make us blind, and even worse destroy our soul?
The feeling of remorse will strike believers and non-believers. Whenever I felt the guilt I hated this emotion because I believed I had the right to live my life the way I wanted to without being judged. Well so much for that plan.
I have done plenty of wrong. I did what I wanted without fearing Your judgment for so long. And where did that lead me... alone in a forest with wishes to end the suffering I had brought upon myself.
But now that I’m starting to see clearly I realize You have placed in each of us an understanding of what is good. Whether or not we choose to acknowledge where this comes from You tell us when we’re doing wrong; just like a father corrects his child when he misbehaves. What people have deemed as a conscience I now believe it is you trying to catch me when I’m falling.
And now I see… if we choose to ignore that guilt or despise it and let ourselves walk along poisoned without the remedy, then slowly each part of us will become sick. The illness will trickle to our heart and it will eventually become hardened or in cases of extreme rebellion…even dangerous.
The final stages of decaying; the soul becomes ill, immature, insecure, hateful, filled with misery and then completely ruined.
I wish everyone knew that You do not only condemn sin because You hate it but You hate it with a passion because You know it will destroy us. How sad is it that some people despise Your words because they see them only as rules, when really each verse is purposed to guide us to safety.
With Your help I will make myself brand new.
I guess tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. Please stay with us.