a mother-DAughter heart-to-heart
Elizabeth knocked on Sophia’s door on Sunday night and attempted to unravel a delicate conversation with her daughter. She had been planning it for days, had been thinking of the right words to use in breaking the walls separating them, but she knew Sophia wasn’t in the attitude to talk to her. Her daughter had been quite uncontrollable lately, and with this, Elizabeth had been on-and-off in approaching her. Tonight was the best time, she thought, and felt the need to do the first move before it was too late.
“Sophia, about Jericho…” Elizabeth tried confronting, but Sophia already swayed her head, to stop the subject matter. It seemed she wasn’t set yet for any serious conversation about the recent happenings. She was in denial.
Albeit, Elizabeth continued, “Mom Lucy said the papers are now being prepared for Jericho’s release.” Then she paused when Sophia made it obvious she didn’t want to continue listening. But this didn’t stop Elizabeth from pursuing her aim. “Mom wanted you to know that she kept her promise. And she expects you to keep yours, too.” Elizabeth was attempting to meet her daughter’s eyes but it seemed she was waiting for nothing.
When Sophia’s silence extended, Elizabeth kept on, again. This time, with a challenge. “If Jericho would be out of prison, could this mean he’d be out of your life too?”
It was too much, and this pushed Sophia to hide her face even more. She was wordless, not knowing what to do next. She was back to that daunting thought again, that she might completely lose Jericho, once she’d completely adhere to the agreement. Her whole heart was breaking.
“Sophia, I need to know if you’re going to obey the agreement.” Elizabeth stirred her, making sure her eyes meet Sophia’s unsteady look.
“Mom…” Finally, Sophia returned a response, after eons. “Since when did I win a conversation with you?” A pause, and she looked at her mother unmistakably. “I followed everything you’d asked of me. When you asked me to stop befriending Daniella because she wasn’t a good influence to me, I did. When you asked me to stop being disobedient, I did. When you said you liked Giovanni because his family’s good enough, I did too.”
Elizabeth fell silent. Her daughter was, at some point, right.
“I know all of these because I read them all in my diaries,” Sophia broke off, shaking, seeking for composure, and gathered all her remaining strength to finish her sentence, “which means that I have always been miserable.” She cried to the last word and hid her face again with her bare hands.
As for Elizabeth, she only stared, not speaking, and trying to weigh in all the details, feeling close to tears.
“Now, tell me, Mom. Have I not been a good daughter to you?”
Silence. Elizabeth was pierced through the heart.
“What else can I do if you all hate the man I love now? What choice do I have?” Sophia groaned. “And who am I to disobey every one of you…? I love you, Mom. I love every one of you, but I also love Jericho. Please… you don’t have to make me choose because I can’t afford to lose everyone. Including Jericho.”
Elizabeth lingered to listen. She didn’t know if it was her heart or her mind that was betraying her.
“If you insist on trying to make me forget him, I will be miserable for my entire life, Mom.” Sophia now directed her eyes on her mom and ached to continue, “And that could never be changed anymore. Not anymore… Mom.”
Elizabeth shut her eyes. Waves of guilt seemed to consume her. Her daughter had never been so open and begging, like this. It was probably something that her daughter was really serious about.
Sophia was mute, after that. She felt like she had already let out one of the hardest things that had been choking her, her whole life.
For the first time, Elizabeth couldn’t defend herself nor her mother-in-law. She had always been good at defending, as a lawyer, but this case with her daughter was altogether different. Much, much different. It was asking for something more. Something else, that even by-laws couldn’t mark out.
An instant passed, and Elizabeth eventually admitted defeat. It was an open and honest discussion with her daughter. In her heart, she knew she had also made her own mistakes. But the type of mistakes that were only made with the best of good intentions, like any mother would do.
“Tomorrow’s a big day. You have to wake up early.” Elizabeth writhed to whisper and left promptly.
Like a marionette nodding, Sophia cried all at once when her mother finally closed the door. It was her against the world—for Jericho, for the man she loved. But she wasn’t giving up.