-5-
“SO SHE was here.” Colin gives me an inscrutable look.
“Yes.”
“She hasn’t forgotten about us.” He closes his eyes for a moment. “Don’t they say parents always forget about their children?”
I run my fingers along the beads of my mother’s necklace, which I’ve worn every single day since we left. I think of Newexter. I think of the parents, going back to their quiet lives after their children move out. Who don’t have to worry anymore about getting enough food on the table. People who have never liked the responsibility for their sons or daughters. Some of them counting the days until their children leave.
But there are others, too. There was a man who lied about his son’s age after his wife died, so he could stay with his kid for a bit longer. We all knew the numbers didn’t add up, but the Eldest of Newexter couldn’t find it in his heart to send the son away.
The woman next door who’d sat crying on the doorstep for days after her daughter had left her, as though she was hoping her child would come back.
“That’s what they say,” I reply softly.
“And father has passed away,” Colin continues. “We’ve missed the funeral. Why weren’t we there?” His fist hits the kitchen table in frustration, the knife he used to gut fish jumping up as if startled.
“Most people don’t attend their parents’ funerals,” I stutter.
“Well, I’m not most people. I would have liked to see him one last time,” Colin snaps. “I would have liked it even better to see him alive, but hey, that ship has sailed.”
I look at my twin brother. Sparkling blue eyes and jet-black hair, just like me. He’s tall and broad for his age. And he fancies Ami. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided to pack his bags and move back to Newexter soon, taking her as his bride. He never found this place useful, always doggedly maintaining that mother and father could have taught him to survive as well.
“I know,” I whisper. “I get it.”
“No, you don’t get it. You have never had a single doubt about the higher purpose of us leaving them. You don’t even miss them.”
My lip trembles. “Well, you don’t get it either. Why do you think I always wear this?” My hand closes around the pendant on mother’s necklace.
With a sigh, Colin walks around the kitchen table and pulls me into a rough embrace. “Come with me,” he mumbles in my hair. “When I go back to Newexter. Don’t stay behind without me. Let’s take care of mother together.”
Take care of mother. The world upside down.
“I can’t,” I object. “Not yet. I don’t have a boyfriend. If I go now, I’ll never be able to get married. I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.”
“What about Andy?”
“He’s dating Mara.”
“Right.” Thankfully, he leaves it at that.
I actually came in here to tell Colin about Andy and what he said about The Book, but my brother is so upset right now. I’d better go and find Andy first. “Listen up, I’ll talk to you again at dinner. I still have some things I need to do,” I quickly end the conversation.
I don’t look back when Colin calls after me. I don’t want to hear the note of sadness in his voice, his evident pain upon learning that father has died. It will only make me waver and doubt myself. Because deep down, I am just as upset as my brother.
***
Mara is still in the laundry house, stuck up to her elbows in drab, soapy water. She’s washing out a pair of brown pants. The smell of wet wool and lavender soap pervades the room.
“Hey,” I say, casting a pitying look at the enormous pile of laundry still waiting for her. “You know where Andy is?”
Mara wipes her forehead. “He mouthed off to Ben because of me. And with consequences, I might add. He has to fight Max and Cal tonight.”
I blink in disbelief. “You mean both at the same time?”
“Yes.” Mara’s bottom lip starts to quiver and she bursts out in tears when I put my arm around her shoulders. “It’s not fair.”
My stomach turns. We really have to get out of this place. Saul is destroying everyone with a soul. But where should we go? Should we seek refuge with the parents?
“Come on,” I comfort her. “I’ll help you out.”
I work hard, pushing thoughts about confronting Saul to the back of my mind. Once Cal and Max have knocked Andy around tonight, the last thing on his mind will be talking to me about The Book, Saul and his lies.
We rinse all the clothes and blankets thoroughly and hang them on the line without speaking.
At last, Mara breaks the silence. “I wonder where Andy went.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Gathering strength, I guess?”
“So it’ll take them a bit longer to beat him to a pulp?”
I nod hesitantly. “Yes. Something like that.”
My best friend bites her lip. “Leia... something’s wrong with this place. It makes me scared.”
I think of my encounter with Saul and nod quietly. I know exactly what she means.