The Wallops’ apartment was the entire top floor of the Foundation-of-Faith Apartment block. Mr Wallop led them up the many flights of stairs to the top while Timmy protested about the lack of an elevator or lift of some sort to carry them there. It was not clear whether Mr Wallop or Herbert knew what he meant. What was clear was that Mr Wallop considered the state of Timmy’s mind to be still fragile if not entirely unhinged, and he was anxious not to cause another scene with Timmy.
The door of the Wallops’ home was flung open by a tall, rusty haired girl with sparkling brown eyes. She was dressed in a smart navy-blue school uniform and she greeted Mr Wallop as “Dad”. She looked with interest at Timmy, who was very red in the face and out of breath from the number of stairs they had climbed.
“Well!” she exclaimed. “You’re not very used to climbing stairs, are you, Fatso?”
“Henrietta,” said Mr Wallop, “I do wish you would show some consideration for our guests. I don’t suppose they’re used to being greeted in this fashion.” He glanced at Timmy who might have protested at being called ‘Fatso’. But oddly enough Timmy was staring at Henrietta Wallop with an expression on his face that Jack had never seen before. It was the first time that Jack had ever seen Timmy lost for words.
“They’re only boys,” said Henrietta. “I’m sure Fatso doesn’t mind being teased, do you, Fatso?” she added in a perfectly friendly tone to the still speechless Timmy. “And the other one…”
“I’m Jack Merryweather,” said Jack.
“That’s a good name,” said Henrietta.
“Actually, my name is…” began Timmy.
“Where’s your mother, Henry?” her father asked.
“Serving up dinner and commenting on how late you are,” said Henrietta.
“I’m quite capable of speaking for myself thank you, Henrietta,” said Mrs Wallop, coming into the hallway and wiping her hands down her apron. “Dinner’s ready, Hardy, although it may well be burnt by now!” she said, but she was smiling and not really cross. She turned her attention to the two boys. “And who are our visitors…?”
“Fatso and Jack,” said Henrietta, hanging up her father’s coat and turning around to grin at the two boys.
“Actually my name is…” Timmy began with more determination.
“This is Hugo, my twin brother,” said Henrietta, giving Timmy no chance to explain, and she pulled forward a tall boy with auburn hair who was very like her except that he had far less to say. “And this is Hezekiah, also known as Zek… Come Zek, they won’t eat you…” and she presented the youngest of the family, a freckle faced boy who was a little younger and smaller than Jack.
“Jack and…” Mr Wallop endeavoured to make some sort of proper explanation about the boys but this time Herbert Wallop reappeared to interrupt; his jacket with silver buttons had vanished and in its place he was wearing a comfy, brown knitted jumper with holes in it.
“That’s Barmy Bats!” said Herbert with a good natured grin.
“I am not…!” began Timmy, furious with Herbert and casting a strangely concerned glance at Henrietta Wallop.
“That’s what Mr Duffle thought his name was!” said Herbert.
“Mr Duffle is usually right,” commented Hugo.
“It’s entirely your own fault that Mr Duffle came to imagine that your name is Barmy Bats, Timmy,” said Mr Wallop.
“Barmy Bats is a catchy name,” said Henrietta. “Imagine really being called something as interesting as Barmy Bats!”
Timmy was staring at Henrietta as if he were in the middle of some great conflict; as if he suddenly wasn’t certain whether he should continue to protest at the ridiculous name of Barmy Bats…or actually embrace it.
“Anyway,” said Henrietta, not at all uncertain about the matter, “whatever your name is, I’m going to call you Barmy Bats!”
Mrs Wallop was a very good cook. They all sat down to a wonderful dinner of roast beef (which wasn’t burnt after all), with plenty of vegetables and gravy and Yorkshire puddings. There was loads for everybody despite the addition of two guests, and Jack, who was very hungry and felt as if he’d been travelling in a strange country for a very long time, ate everything put in front of him and had second helpings besides. Timmy consumed even more than Jack. He had completely forgotten his earlier concerns at their strange adventure. It was just as if the two boys had expected to go to the Wallops for tea that Friday.
“Where are you from?” Mrs Wallop asked the two boys as they ate.
“They’re from Grandad’s Sheds,” said Mr Wallop, sounding, however, uncertain of this fact and remembering the effect the mention of Grandad’s Sheds seemed to have on Timmy. He didn’t want another scene; just now he wanted peace to enjoy his second helping of mashed potatoes.
“Grandad’s Sheds?” said Mrs Wallop. She sounded puzzled. “I don’t think I’ve ever been there. I did quite a lot of travelling before I was married,” she explained. “Is it far away?”
“Not exactly,” said Jack. “You see, we really just came through the door in the shed. And then we were in the Entry to Aletheia.”
“I see,” said Mrs Wallop.
Timmy tried to explain, through a mouthful of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, that there was no such place. “Tell them Jack!” he managed to say at the end of his garbled explanation.
“Swallow your mouthful, Barmy,” said Henrietta, and then giggled at the look on Timmy’s face.
Jack was getting a little tired of this fairly constant plea of ‘tell them Jack!’ “I just told them,” he said. It didn’t really matter to him if these nice people thought that they came from a country called Grandad’s Sheds. For all he knew they hadn’t heard of England or Great Britain or anywhere normal anyway.
“It was very succinctly explained, thank you, Jack,” said Mrs Wallop.
“They’ll think we’re mad!” muttered Timmy. “Grandad’s Sheds indeed!”
“We might think you’re mad anyway,” said Henrietta.
“More eating, less talking, Henry,” said her father.
“Barmy’s taken the last Yorkshire pudding!” exclaimed Hezekiah.
“My name is not Barmy!” Timmy flared up. He glared at Hezekiah who looked surprised and went a bit red.
“If you can really manage another Yorkshire pudding, Barmy…umm, I mean Timmy…” said Mrs Wallop, “you can go ahead and eat it… Henrietta, will you please stop giggling!”
“What do you learn at your school in…well, wherever it is?” Hugo wanted to know.
Timmy swallowed his mouthful. “All sorts of things,” he said. “Our school is at the top of the League Table! Tell them Jack!”
“I don’t think they know what the League Table is,” said Jack, catching Hugo’s bemused expression and wondering if he would ever have room for the yummy apple crumble Mrs Wallop was beginning to serve.
“It means we’re a superior school!” said Timmy.
“It’s probably a different school for problem kids,” Herbert said in an aside to his father, remembering the lack of knowledge that Timmy and Jack had earlier displayed about Aletheia and the land of Err.
“It is not!” retorted Timmy, overhearing him. “We’re not stupid, you know!”
“Keep your hair on, Barmy!” said Henrietta. “Who cares what sort of school it is anyway?”
Timmy was clearly at a loss how to answer this. “Well, anyway,” he said at last, “we do learn more useful things apart from things about the Bible. In fact, we don’t really learn much about the Bible at all!”
Timmy’s comment was met with stunned silence.
“Do you mean that you’re not a Christian?” asked Hezekiah in a horrified tone. He had recently become a Christian himself and was very keen about it. He could not now imagine how anybody would not want to become a Christian and be safe from punishment for all the wrong things they had done, things the Bible called sin.
“Of course we’re Christians!” said Timmy.
“I think Timmy means that some people in their country think that going to church and doing good and such means that you’re a Christian,” said Mr Wallop.
“Like the people in the town of Do-Good in Err,” said Hugo.
“But that’s not how to become a Christian at all!” said Henrietta. “Everyone in Aletheia knows that!”
“No, we all know that, of course,” said Mr Wallop. “But there are plenty of people in Err and other countries that think as Timmy does, and we’ll be trying to help Timmy while he’s here…”
“I don’t need help!” said Timmy. “I mean,” he added quickly, catching Henrietta’s sudden fierce glare, “that we just think differently, that’s all! Tell them Jack!”
“I am a Christian,” Jack said slowly. “I trusted in the Lord Jesus to take away my sins and that’s when I became a Christian.” And as soon as he’d said it he felt a tremendous relief. At last he had told someone, and it was Timmy Trial no less, that he was a real Christian.
“That’s right!” said Hezekiah, “that’s right, Jack! That’s how you become a Christian…”
Hezekiah was the last to finish his crumble and ice-cream and had taken far too much. But he was determined to finish and was doggedly shoving spoonfuls into his mouth.
“You’ll explode, Zek,” Henrietta warned him.
“I won’t explode,” said Hezekiah, and belched unintentionally and very loudly.
“Hezekiah!” exclaimed Mrs Wallop.
Henrietta got a fit of giggles.
“We met Wonky Dollar with Captain Steadfast on our way home today,” said Herbert.
“Ready Steadfast is so cool,” said Hezekiah. He was hiccupping now which was adding to Henrietta’s amusement.
“I gave Mr Dollar a piece of lego,” said Jack, only now remembering this fact.
“He doesn’t even know what it is, you duffer!” said Timmy, with a glance for approval at Henrietta.
“Duffer yourself!” retorted Henrietta.
“That was very kind of you, Jack,” said Mrs Wallop, sounding vaguely puzzled.
“What is lego?” asked Hezekiah.
“Don’t you know what lego is?” exclaimed Timmy.
“I’m sure it’s something very nice,” murmured Mrs Wallop, starting to stack the plates.
Jack wasn’t sure how to explain what lego was. “You build things with it,” he said.
“All the kids in our country have lego,” said Timmy.
“Ooooh, hoity-toity!” mocked Henrietta. “Who wants lego anyway?”
“Henrietta,” said her father wearily. Mr Wallop had at last picked up his evening newspaper called ‘The Truth’ and was entering his favourite, most peaceful part of the evening.
“What does Wonky Dollar want to build with lego?” asked Hugo.
“Money, I think,” said Jack.
“You don’t build money with lego!” scoffed Timmy, eager to impress. “But my father is…”
“Your father is probably King Barmy Bats!” retorted Henrietta.
Hezekiah hiccupped very loudly as he giggled at Henrietta’s comment. Timmy’s eyes narrowed on Hezekiah. Henrietta might say what she liked, and Hugo was taller than Timmy. But small Hezekiah Wallop was a very different matter. Jack recognised the look that Timmy gave Hezekiah. And he knew that the surroundings of Aletheia had not changed Timmy.
He knew that Timmy the bully was back.