My mum was a very slight woman, she had black shoulder length hair which was always neat and tidy, and she always dressed well.
My mother got a job as a silver service waitress in the Adelphi Hotel which is situated in Liverpool City Centre. My dad also worked there.
My dad was always happy go lucky and I have been told by one of my aunties that my dad had wavy black hair and was always smiling. I don‟t have any photographs of my dad at a younger age so I can only go by what people tell me. My dad worked in the kitchens of the hotel this is where my parents met and started seeing each other.
The relationship developed and they set up home together in Hurst Gardens also situated in 14
Liverpool. My mum and dad were apparently inseparable so I have been told; my parents were going out with each other for 10 years before they actually decided to tie the knot. The wedding took place at Brougham Terrace (Registry Office) on 06.12.1957.
After a period of time my mum fell pregnant with her first child, this was a baby girl, then she went on to have another 4, they were also girls.
Obviously because the family was growing, my parents decided to move. They moved to a 3
bedroom semi detached council house in Huyton, Liverpool. In the year of 1966 I was born, my parents, one and only boy. My mum went on to have another child, again another girl. So basically I was the only boy and had 5
sisters. My parents set up home as best as they could. But things didn‟t work out as you read on and this resulted in my mum and dad splitting 15
up and filing for divorce, they got divorced on the same date as they married, obviously a different year, the year being 1973. People fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat some are lucky in love and some are not, I think my dad was lucky to get away from my mother very lucky.
16
“LIVERBIRDS”
“LIVERPOOL”
17
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
This book is dedicated to my Father Roger Slater who sadly passed away in the year 2000.
Dad you made me get through my ordeal and I love and miss you more and more each day.
You were not just my father you were my friend, my saviour. The words on your gravestone say “you are simply the best” and that you were. Everybody loves their parents, well I loved my “parent” he was a great guy, funny, witty. The type of person you could trust in an hour of need, the loving parent that opened his door when others slammed them in my face.
There is not a day goes by that you‟re not in my thoughts. Sleep well dad and look over me in my life ahead.
I did have a book out last year which was published in U.S.A. and UK, the title was 18
“Facing the future,” it did really well and I got astonishing reviews which really was done from my memory when I was a child but now I have managed to get hold of my files from Social Services and I was so shocked to discover what really happened to me in my life. It has really upset me and I need to do this to get it out of my system.
The first book was only a guess of years, even though it was factual, the trauma I lived through, so many changes, instability, emotional and traumatic stress involved, I didn‟t know the half of what had happened up until May 2009
when I received my files. Some of my siblings have files too, however they have chose not to see theirs which debilitated me from seeing everything what happened, as some parts of my files are blanked out to protect their privacy, but I would rather know the details that have been 19
blanked out. I understand why they do not want to view their files it is very emotional but I needed to, it was getting me down and the suspense was at an all time high. I have the files and have studied them over and over again, and to read that you were owned by the Local Authority is very hurtful. I have learned to deal with my emotions even though this book has brought them all out again, the feelings of being let down, hurt, I just couldn‟t believe what had happened. The first book when you think of it now, if you have read it, was nothing compared to this book. My files have been incorporated in this book, so read on.
20
The Car Accident
My name is Kevin Slater. I was born on the 19th June 1966. I‟m an adult now and this is a true story of my life as a child growing up in Huyton, Liverpool, England. Huyton is a small community, most people are friendly there. I lived on a long main road in a three bedroom house. I grew up with 5 sisters, no brothers. I don‟t recall when I was a baby but I have been told by my sisters I was as good as gold and my mum would dress me and sit me in the pram outside on our front path in the garden, watching the cars go by. My sisters used to play with me while my mum was putting the tea on or cleaning the house. There were about two years between me and my sisters. My mum 21
worked at a local laundrette to make extra money for her family. My sisters did do some chores whilst she was at work and looked after the younger members of the family. Obviously, I was only a baby and these memories and details are from various members of my family.
I went to a nursery and on the first day when I was all ready and standing in the nursery I knew my mum was going to leave me there, so I took my shoes and socks off and was pulling at my mums arm asking her not to leave me, I was sobbing, tears flowing down my face. The teacher spoke with my mum in private and told her to leave me and that all children feel this way on the first day, and said I would be fine when she comes to pick me up. Eventually I settled in well, I don‟t think I cried for my mum after that no one has ever mentioned this to me before so I must have been fine. I was happy 22
and made friends whilst I was there. I would paint pictures and play in the sand, so I‟ve been told. This one particular day I came home with my mum and when we arrived home, my sisters wanted sweets from the local mobile van which was on the other side of the road. My mum decided that she would treat us, this didn‟t happen every day but on the rare occasion. The mobile van sold all kinds, bread, milk, cigarettes, sweets, etc. Two of my sisters decided to take me along with them. They took a hold of my hand and began to cross the road when I let go of their hands as I was excited about getting my sweets, and being that age was hard to keep hold of as most boys that age. I ran into the road and got hit by a car; it wasn‟t my sister‟s fault. Even though I was very young, I remember being hit by the car and lying at the side of the kerb, my sisters were screaming and 23
I can remember a lot of people looking down at me. I could hear my dads voice in the crowds pushing through to get to me, he picked me up very gently holding me in his arms, they say children can remember events in their childhood; this I can remember very clearly, that day will never leave me. I was looking up at my dad as he is cradling me in his arms; I was scared, crying, maybe I was in shock. More neighbours and bystanders crowded around me and my dad, his shirt was covered in blood which was pouring out of my head, the blood was a very deep red, I could feel the blood running down my face. I remember looking at my dad he started to cry, but at the same time he was wiping the blood out of my eyes and my face. The people surrounding me, I could hear them crying too, young and old. I could hear mumbling in the background. I once again 24
looked up at my dad and then I must have passed out as I don‟t remember anything after that. I was hit by the car with such force I was rushed to hospital and had a 50 / 50 chance of living. My mum and dad visited me every day during my lengthy stay in hospital. I eventually pulled through; I had a fractured skull which left a permanent dent in my forehead. I had a seven inch scar on my forehead following the accident, I had thick black hair so nobody really noticed it, I wasn‟t bothered at the time I was only a young boy, 3 years of age.
It doesn‟t bother me at all now.
After coming out of hospital everything seemed fine, but I did get a visit from a community nurse every day for about 12 weeks to change the dressing on my head and check that I was okay. Every day I knew the nurse was coming but I used to hide and cry under the table in the 25
living room because I was scared and it hurt so bad when she would peel the bandage from my head, but I did know that I had to have it done and my mum would shout at me and tell me to come from under the table, eventually I did.
I was coming to the age of starting infant school and due to the injury on my forehead following the car accident I missed a lot of nursery days and was looking forward to going to school. I did go for regular checks at the hospital, but every time my mum asked could I go back to nursery they said not at that moment in time.
Then one day a nurse said that the scar was healing better and the skin was starting to grow and become tougher I was sent to see the specialist for a second opinion and when my mum asked the specialist could I start school in September this time he said yes and also said that I was now fit and well.
26
My Second Head Injury
I started infant school, my uniform was clean and pressed and my mum polished my shoes, they were all shiny. I went along to the school with my mum and my sisters.
I met my friend at school who lived next door, I was made up I knew somebody. I didn‟t know he was going to be there, I had somebody to play with. After school sometimes we would 27
play out. I loved playing out just a normal boy playing in mud and playing football and other games. But when it rained I had to stay in but so did my friend so I didn‟t really mind.
Every day I was up for school no problem I looked forward to going there, as my mum and dad argued all the time and it was upsetting, they used to say cruel words to each other and my sisters also were upset. So school was a good place to be instead of listening to my mum and dad.
My sisters would take turns in picking me up from school and we would walk home. It wasn‟t that far away from our house but we did have to cross the main road, the same road I had the car accident on. So my sisters did feel scared but made sure every time they had hold of my hand very tight. I was scared as well, and don‟t think I would have let go as I had learnt my lesson the 28
hard way. We would return from school and my mum would be in the kitchen preparing food for our tea, I would play out with my friend in the street just outside our house. My dad just used to be out and about until tea time.
One day we came home from school and my mum and dad must have been arguing as my mum was in a bad mood. My dad again was out and about and I entered the kitchen where my mum was cooking on the stove. I asked my mum where my dad was. My mum was cross with me, but she didn‟t say nothing, she just turned around, stared at me, and she then threw a fork at me, out of the blue, the fork stuck in my forehead, I was screaming with the pain, holding my head in my hands. I was looking at my mum through my tears and wondering why she had done this. I could see the panic upon her face. I don‟t know why she threw the fork at my 29
head; I only asked where my dad was? My sister was present at the time and she remembers to this day my mum pulling the fork out of my forehead. I was only 4 years of age. The blood was running down my face, my mum cleaned me up and she told me not to say anything to my dad or anyone because she said the fork slipped out of her hand, she was nice to me for the rest of the day, but I could see the worry on her face.
I didn‟t tell anyone because I was terrified of what she would do to me, so I kept quiet. My sister didn‟t every mention it either, because she was scared too. My scar from the car accident was healing nicely, it was such a shock that my mum could do this to me; it was only months since I got out of hospital. As you are aware I have a scar from my car accident and now I have a second scar from my own mother.
30
We all settled down to have our tea, things were okay, but then one of my sisters asked me what was wrong with my head, as it was all red and swollen with a plaster on it, where the fork had stuck in, I don‟t know if I needed stitches or hospital treatment, I was too young to understand. I told my sister that I banged my head in school; my mum‟s eyes were peering at me across the table. My heart was beating fast and I couldn‟t eat my food properly. But then it all got to me as I was only a little boy and started crying at the table, I didn‟t know what to do or to say, I knew I would get battered if I said anything, my sister who also witnessed my mum throwing the fork was sitting there in the chair, she was rolling her food around her plate, not putting any in her mouth just playing with it, she was scared too. I didn‟t finish my meal because I was too upset, but I just made up an 31
excuse and went upstairs to my bedroom. I couldn‟t go out, I wasn‟t allowed because I thought I had been naughty, but now I know it was my mum who didn‟t want me to go out as people would ask me about my head. My dad soon returned home and I ran down the stairs to see him, I was so glad when he put his key in the front door, he walked in and I threw my arms around my dads waist, my dad asked me what was the matter because I was crying and I couldn‟t get my words out.
My dad asked me to slow down and take a deep breath, eventually I calmed down. I then tried to tell my dad what had happened, we were still in the hallway I still had my arms wrapped tightly around him, I was trying to whisper about what had happened so my mum couldn‟t hear. My dad told me to go and play out in the back garden. I could hear my dad shouting at my 32
mum about what she had done to me. My dad said to her that he should report my mum to the police, but he didn‟t want to upset the other members of the family. He warned my mother and told her that if she ever touched me again she would be reported to the police.
The arguing continued until the early hours. I went to bed as did my sisters; I put the pillow over my head to drown out the constant arguing.
33
Upstairs/Downstairs
My mum and dad were not getting on at all. I noticed that the arguing was getting worse and was happening almost every day. My dad decided to live upstairs in the front bedroom, my dad didn‟t want to leave us with my mum because he knew of her wicked ways, and this is why he chose to live upstairs, so he could keep an eye on us. It wasn‟t easy back in those days 34
to get a flat and set up somewhere else to live, so for now my dad wanted to be upstairs to be out of my mum‟s way, but to be near his kids.
I couldn‟t bring friends back to the house or even play with them outside, I felt embarrassed with the noise. I used to return home from school and as I got nearer to the front door the shouting became louder and louder, it was unbelievable. The neighbours could hear and anyone passing, people walking passed would slow down their pace to see what was going on; it was so embarrassing for me and my sisters.
To stop the neighbours from hearing the shouting, I whistled or sang loud enough so they wouldn‟t hear it, but of course they did. I know that my mum must have loved my dad one time but they both lived separate lives, there was no love left between them. You could see the hatred in my mum‟s eyes when she looked at 35
my dad. I know my dad in a funny way loved my mum, and he told me that which made me so sad but I never told my mum.
I feel and know that I never got any love or attention from my mum, she was cold, but my dad was different he was the best dad in the world, he always gave me attention and we would have talks about all kinds of things. My dad used to make me laugh. My mum was wicked, I can‟t remember her being nice to me or giving me love like a mum should. My mum just did chores around the house and made sure that we had our tea on time that was about it.
She could be nasty, it wasn‟t just me she was nasty to; she was also nasty to some of my sisters.
My mum didn‟t get on with our family as such, we were her children but she didn‟t really like us, she didn‟t do what other mums do, ask about 36
what we had at dinner time, what did we do at school today, etc. She didn‟t have an interest in that sort of thing at all. I know this now because when my child comes home from school she is asked all of these questions, the questions I was never asked, its little things that come back to you when you are actually parenting yourself. I do understand that parents do make mistakes I have made many mistakes as parenting is the toughest job of all but my mum again as I have said before was not the maternal type, I have so much love and devotion for my family. I didn‟t feel that from her during my childhood sad to say, and I don‟t feel anything for her now apart from anger.
37
Daddy‟s Left Home
Almost every night one of my sisters would make a cup of tea and take it up to my dad, they would sneak it up to him, night after night, but unfortunately one time my sister got caught creeping up the stairs and my mum threw her down the stairs with such force she had broke my sisters arm. My sisters didn‟t get on with my mum sometimes either and she on several occasions threw one of my sisters out on the 38
streets and she had to sleep in the alleyway. She didn‟t have anywhere else to go and some nights if she didn‟t say sorry to my mum she had no option but to sleep outside. It was cold and dark my sister had nowhere to turn.
We were all children and we didn‟t know what to do. We would try and persuade my mother but she wouldn‟t listen, we would plead with her “Please mum she will be good, its cold outside and you should let her in, please mum.”
A police station was at the top of our street, my sister would go to the police station, and tell them what had happened, the police would bring her home and my mum would open the door as if nothing had happened and say she didn‟t know what my sister was going on about and would lie to the police. My mum would talk in a very calm manner and say that my sister was being silly. She would say to her “Get in, and 39
stop wasting police time.” My mum would then apologise to the police for wasting their time.
My sister would sob for hours, her skin as cold as ice, her hair felt damp with cold but she warmed up eventually, my other sisters would rub her back and make her a hot drink. The police would leave our house and my mum would kick my sister out again. Eventually my mum would let her in, but to stay out of my mum‟s way she would hide in the airing cupboard in the kitchen, so my mum could not find her.
My mum could be horrible, I wished she was like my friends mums but she wasn‟t, but she made out to every one of her friends that she loved us and had loads of time for us, this isn‟t true. I feel very angry about this because in my eyes she was fooling everybody she knew in our community. Everyone was convinced that my 40
sisters and me were loved and cared for, but we all lived on our nerves.
My dad had to cook his food on the fire, which was in the front bedroom. I went upstairs to see my dad every day I came home from school to stay out of my mum‟s way and keep him company. My sisters would also spend time with my dad, we all loved him, even though they would get caught on occasion bringing him a cup of tea they still took the risk. My dad never had anything, just this little fire. He would cook food in a pan on two bricks placed on the small fire in between and on occasion the pan would fall on the fire and ruin his meal. My mum didn‟t know about this but when she found out he was cooking food upstairs she was furious and would wait until she could hear him preparing food – she would bang on the wall in 41
the living room so the soot from the chimney would drop onto his food.
It was clear that things were not working out and the situation was getting worse. My dad spoke of moving out and explained that me and my sisters could spend time with him when he set up home somewhere, I was upset because I didn‟t want him to and I was sad, I was too young to understand and did worry about this.
My dad could not use the downstairs kitchen or living room as my mum would put locks on the food cupboards and take the knobs off the gas cooker so he could not cook food, whilst she was out.
My sisters and me would just take every day as it came. We went to school every day and would come home and dread what was to happen next.
One day I came home from school and my dads arm was scalded - his skin was red raw, I was 42
upset and asked my dad what happened, he would say “Don‟t worry son, everything will be okay,” I was told by one of my sisters that my mum had put some water in a pan and boiled it and then threw the full pan of boiling water over my dad in anger, she aimed it at his face and my dad put his arm up to protect his face, he put a cold wet towel over his arm, to ease the pain and reduce the blisters, but if he never put his arm up to protect his face, he would have burned his face. When I heard what had happened I wanted to go and hit my mum I felt angry, I started to cry and I was shouting down to my mum asking why she had done it, I was screaming and swearing at her I hated her for hurting my dad like that.
I have no memories of my dad hitting my mum ever and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Another time I returned home from school 43
and my dad‟s leg was covered in blood, there was screaming and shouting, one of my sisters told me my mum had stabbed my dad in the leg with a kitchen knife and had also slashed the mattress on his bed, I couldn‟t believe it, I was crying, my tears splashing down on my stained uniform, my sisters were upset too, when they came home from school.
The neighbours took us in to their house until things calmed down. The noise was unbearable, my sisters and I would put our hands over our ears in an attempt to block out the noise. It felt as though it would never end, banging, throwing, smashing, and shouting. In the end the noise got quieter and quieter and it sounded like my dad‟s footsteps climbing the stairs, that was when my mum knocked saying it was okay now and that we should all go back home as it was late. My dad didn‟t go to the police but he went 44
to hospital to be checked over, he had to get 28
stitches in his leg, why I asked myself did he let her get away with it, but I didn‟t say this to my dad he just wanted a peaceful life. He told me not to worry and said it didn‟t hurt him but I know he was just saying it to make me not get upset, he knew how much I loved him. I just stayed with him all night in his room because I was upset for what my mum had done. I couldn‟t stop crying but my dad kept reassuring me that everything would be okay. I felt so safe staying with my dad. I cuddled into him all night and I can remember waking up during the night asking him was he okay, he smiled and just put his arms around me. That was a horrible night.
My dad stayed out the following day to keep the peace, he told me he was doing this so I didn‟t worry about where he was going and was a bit 45
more settled in my mind thinking that when I get home from school everything would be okay. Things were a bit better after that but the atmosphere wasn‟t good but at least it was silent that was something I suppose.
One of my sisters came into the house and told my mum that a neighbour had shouted at her, my mum went outside, picked up a house brick and threw it through the neighbour‟s window.
She also assaulted another neighbour who lived just a few doors away but I don‟t recall why.
My mum‟s behaviour was erratic at times, you just didn‟t know when she would flip, and it was frightening at times. As children we all lived on our nerves. Eventually my dad left home and got his own flat, I was so glad he did, but I missed him so much every day. I was wishing every day that I could live with him, and all my sisters, but it wasn‟t as easy as that. I couldn‟t 46
sleep at the best of times but I couldn‟t sleep at all when he left. I used to go into the room where he slept and lie on his bed even though my mum had changed the bedding, I still used to go in there and smell his pillow and soak up the atmosphere to pretend he was still there.
My dad moved locally about ½ a mile away from my mum‟s house. He lived in high rise flats, Woolfall Heights in Huyton. His flat was on the 11th floor and when we looked out we could see all over Liverpool. We could see as far as the welsh mountains from his flat. The view was amazing, breath taking and the change of scenery from my mum‟s did me and my sisters the world of good. I used to visit every time I could; we all did me a