Chapter 13
Love Letters from 1979
I sorted through all the letters I wrote to Judy and that Judy wrote to me. I put them in chronological order but I got no absolute guarantee I've got every single letter but I think I have most of them so you can kind of follow the dialogue of how the pen pal romance from halfway around the world comes to fruition and leads to a long and happy marriage.
June 25, 1979
Dear Judith,
I joined Japan International to meet new friends and would like you to be my friend.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I am 32, 6'2", 185 pounds (and trying to get back to hundred and 75 pounds)! I am attending the University of Nevada and studying accounting. I moved to Las Vegas from Tucson, Arizona, about 400 miles south of Las Vegas. I worked as a Park Ranger in Tucson before I moved here.
I moved to Las Vegas for many reasons. It is a very exciting city (as I'm sure Hong Kong is). Las Vegas is famous for its legal gambling and fine hotels. Many tourists and conventions come here. All the stores and casinos are open 24 hours a day. Las Vegas is growing bigger and bigger as more people move here. The weather is very warm (100 – 110°F or 40 – 42°C) in the spring and summer. I live in an apartment with a swimming pool which is very nice.
I Love sports both watching and playing. My favorites are golf, bowling, tennis, and swimming.
I look forward to your letter. Please send a photo of yourself.
Sincerely, Jeff Weber
PS: enclosed is a photo
July 5, 1979
Dear Jeff,
I hope everything is fine for you by the time you receive this epistle of mine. I got hold of your letter a few days ago with your photo enclosed and thanks a lot for writing me. .. I would be very glad if you and I can become friends although just through in writing. You look very cute in your picture, I'm sure you're much better in person… Seems to be that I'm falling in love with your photo when I saw it.
Well in this first letter of mine, I'm going to tell you more about myself. I will be 27 years old on the 24th day of September 1979, a Filipina with black hair and fair complexion, 5'5" tall and weighed 108 pounds. I like to play badminton, swimming, listening to music, reading and collecting stamps.
I am a fourth child from the elders same as from the youngest not to mention I am at the middle. I love people who are nice to me, honest, sincere and friendly. Because I myself consider it is has any of these I mentioned above to everyone I know.
I was born in the province of Aklan in the western part of Philippines. I lived there with my parents till at my age of 13, then went to the city of Manila to continue my studies from second-year high school to college and until the time I left for Hong Kong in the year 1977. In end the year 1974 I obtained my Bachelor of Science in Commerce degree major in marketing.
After a couple of months from graduation I was employed as an office clerk in a department store in the city of Manila. But I just worked there for about a year only, because my boss giving me a lot of works which I found it too much work for myself. That I applied into a bigger company luckily I passed from the exam given to me by the office, so finally I got again a job as same position I was assigned at the production department. I worked in the said office until I left for Hong Kong.
Presently working here as a babysitter with a Chinese family for another two years. Normally, I have finished already my two years employment contract last March 27, 1979 but my employer tried to convince me to renew my contract for another two years with them as they said they still need my services, so I stayed.
Yes I heard already and I know that Las Vegas is really one of a beautiful place. You're very lucky of living there. My cousin used to go there or maybe just to gamble or visit his friends but right at this moment he is in our home country for recovery because last January he met an accident with his car. I guess I have to end this up here so by! My warm regards to you and the rest of your family.
Hair with, I enclosed my photo. Thanks again for your picture.
Sincerely,
Judith
That was one of the sweetest opening letters I've ever gotten and definitely enticed me to continue writing to Judith!
July 15, 1979
Dear Judith,
Thank you for your very nice letter. Your picture shows me a very lovely girl and your letter shows me a very lovely person.
Everything is fine as I write this letter. I'm leaving tomorrow to visit Tucson, Arizona where I used to live. I still have many friends in Tucson and want to see them again.
I guess I should tell you more about myself. I was born in New York City and lived there until I was four years old. My family moved to New Jersey then and I lived in a little town in northern New Jersey. It was very nice, with lots of green trees, woods, and people. I have one sister and no brothers.
I also love people who are nice to me; honest, sincere, and friendly also because that's the way I treat people and like to be treated.
I lived in New Jersey until I graduated from high school and then at 18 went out west to Tucson, Arizona to go to college. I graduated from college and started to go to law school but I was drafted by the Army and spent the next two years in the Army. After getting out of the Army, I returned to Tucson and return to law school. I decided I didn't like law school and my grades were not good enough either. I then got a job with the City of Tucson and worked five years with Elections, doing all the things needed to have an Election.
But I was very unhappy because my boss was very difficult to work with. I transferred to another branch of the city and became a Park Ranger. I worked as a Park Ranger for two years and was happy at the job. But the city decided to abolish Park Rangers and I decided to move to Las Vegas and returned to school. I've lived here about three months and really like the town. I started school at the University of Nevada.
I'm going to have to find a job to pay for my schooling soon. Probably after my return from Tucson. I better end this letter and I look forward to your next letter. You say anything you'd like to know about me, please ask and I'll be glad to tell you.
Sincerely,
Jeff
August 2, 1979
Dear Judith,
I moved to a different apartment complex in Las Vegas because of my new job. I put an ad in the paper hoping to find a security guard job. And I received a very good job with the free apartment and $250 a month. I needed the job to help pay for school.
The new apartment I live in is very nice. It has two-bedrooms, completely furnished, plus utilities are paid for. I live on the second floor and overlook a swimming pool. Plus my apartment is only 2 km from the University of Nevada, where I go to college.
My job will be to patrol the apartment complex at night to make sure everything is okay. I'll make sure no crimes are happening, let people into their apartments who forget their keys and keep kids out of the swimming pools at night. It's a very good job and I'm happy to have it.
My new address is: 969 E. Flamingo, Apartment 175, Las Vegas, Nevada 89109.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Jeff
PS: a reporter from the newspaper where I had my ad (see story of my newspaper ad elsewhere in my biography) called me up and decided to do an article on me in the paper. I'm famous (only kidding).
August 28, 1979
With this letter I sent my wife a copy of the United States Immigration Laws.
Dear Judy,
I got your letter mailed to my old address but it was delayed.
I'm sorry too that I don't have any brothers. I always wanted to grow up in a large family with lots of brothers and sisters but I only had one sister. And I didn't get along too well with her.
I am curious why you moved to Hong Kong from the Philippines. I know very little about the Philippines but from what I read in the papers the people don't seem very happy with the government of Marcos! It doesn't seem to be a very democratic government. Also it seems too many people were very poor and that there are not a lot of good paying jobs.
I haven't really been as busy as most Americans are. Most Americans want to be in a rat race always for more money and possessions. The pace of life in America is very fast. I have never made money the most important thing in my life. I wish to be happy, have life not rush by at a fast pace, be around genuine people, real people who treat others fairly. I hate phonies or people who take advantage of other people. I could never do that to another.
I don't think I'm still single because I was too busy to get married. I have never found the right girl – someone who loved me, and someone I loved. Many find the right girl early, they are lucky, others don't find the right girl and still get married, they are very unhappy. It is bad to be lonely, but I would rather be lonely than unhappy.
Most American girls are very career minded and put their jobs ahead of marriage.
I am not against marriage.
You are very pretty and I'm surprised you were not married. I thought girls got married very young in the Philippines.
I was wondering whether you were Catholic? I am under the impression that the Philippines is heavily Catholic. Also I wonder if you speak Spanish. I have been trying to learn Spanish for years and still only speak and write a little. When you wrote about getting a job here, I called up the immigration Department of the government and they sent me some information. Briefly I'll try and explain the immigration booklet and I'll underline important information. But if you deal anywhere with any government, you find it is very complicated, very confusing and takes a long time.
Briefly it appears that the United States gives preference to relatives of citizens of the United States, to wives and husbands, sons and daughters of people who are permanent resident aliens living in the United States.
If you do not have relatives you fall into the non-preference category. I will state the next part of the letter carefully.
If you are married to an American citizen, are coming to the United States to marry an American citizen, you are not subject to any quotas and would be issued a visa to come to this country.
Frankly that seems the easiest way. I am not very good with words but my heart is good so I'll try to explain.
If we keep writing to each other and at some date in the future we meet each other in person and like each other, it is possible we might get married. The odds are difficult but not impossible, but I would not want somebody to marry me because they wanted to come to the United States but because they love me.
You asked if it is difficult to find a job here. Once you're here, it is not that difficult, America is very prosperous and people who want to work can find good jobs. A secretary type that's can take shorthand can make $200-$300 a week here. But the cost of living is expensive also. But when all things are considered, America is a very good place to live and work.
If you have any more pictures of yourself, please send me some. I think you are very pretty. Hope this letter helps you answer your questions.
Sincerely,
Jeff
August 11, 1979
Dear Jeff,
You're really such a fortunate gentleman to have a good job is what you have now. Yes I think your job is the right one for you, because you're going to school at the same time. And it's a good offer because you're also free get an apartment. But the thing that gives me worry about that is that you'll have not enough time to sleep.
I enjoyed having your pictures Jeff, and I feel very unhappy to keep it. I hope you'll send me more copies of your photo next time. As of my work, well, I feel no difficulty at all, I am enjoying looking after the little boy that he was started going to school a couple of weeks. So every day except Saturdays and Sundays, I have to catch him up from school at around 11 AM. I find myself very busy nowadays. I am also getting interested about planting and making our house beautifully. How about you? How do you find your new job? I hope you're doing alright with all of that going to school at the same time.
Well I can't think of anything else to say as of now, so I'll end my letter appeared. Till next mail, good night and have a sweet dreams. I'll be looking forward to your soon replied. Give my warm regards to your parents and brother, but of course keep the most of it. I! Bye!! Right back as soon as you’re time. Okay??
Sincerely,
Judith
Judy's sends a lovely picture in this letter and on the back she writes:
Dear Jeff, this picture was taken when I went home to the Philippines last March/79. It's me, Judith.
September 3, 1979
Dear Jeff,
How's life getting on? I hope everything is fine for you and may you’re always in the best of health and in good condition. I got hold your letter with two photos of yourself and general information from the in US immigration enclosed. Thanks a lot for the trouble and for your photos. I was so glad to have it.
Well it's too bad that you didn't get along with your only sister. Maybe you and your sister are not in common in many ways. Yes, you're right when you said that many Filipino people aren't happy about the administration of Pres. Marcos. Because really his administration is not a very democratic government and also many people doesn't receive a good salary. Before I left for Hong Kong in 1977 I was employed as an office clerk in a private business firm and by that time the minimum salary was only 300 pesos a month +50 pesos allowance which was really can't cope on the cost-of-living. And now the minimum salary increase to 500 pesos up to 600 pesos per month, but also the prices of everything has gone up, so still nothing changed as a matter of fact it's getting worse. And most of the people against his government.
Actually, my coming here in Hong Kong was really not plan. And it wasn't in my imagination that I can reached this place either. It's like this; I have an auntie here, a cousin of my mother, working as a babysitter. Her employer as a friend (who is my employer at present) approached her if she has any relative to recommend to her to take care on her expected baby. And so my auntie wrote to my elder sister and parents if they'll allow me to come to Hong Kong to work as a babysitter. So my sister talked to me about it when she received the letter. At first, I refused the offered, because firstly, I am also working there and secondly it's not United States, the place I dream to go to. But because my auntie keep on writing to my sister and even my employer herself wrote to me also and sent the employee meant contract to sign my signature, they tried to convince me to accept it. Also it was so happened that my cousin who is a US Army went home for a visit and to see his brother who was at the hospital at that time talked and explained to me. That I have to accept it as it is my chance to go out from our home country to see other places and also it will be the stepping stone to go to US one day. And there goes the offered as accepted by myself.
Yes it's true, most of the girls in my home country get married at their early age. But some also are not, because some of us are also career minded, they have something on their mind to do and fulfill just before they'll get married. In my case, before at my early age I heard from my mother that she refused to let me continued my studies, because she's afraid I might not finished my high school and get married like my elder sister. With this termination I heard from my mother, I and bared into my mind that my mother is wrong and that I forced them that I really want to go to school and be a degree holder. And about marriage, I had put into my mind that I'll get married between the age of 28 to 30.
Yes, I am a Roman Catholic. I usually go to church to hear mass and prayed together with my kid sister during Sunday. My family were devoted Catholic.
I can speak Spanish, but just a little. I've learned it from school when I was at the college, because I took 12 years of Spanish subject. But some of the words I forgot already.
Honestly Jeff, I'm serious about my intention of going to US to live and work. And if the easiest way is to marry with an American citizen as you said and also I know that this is the best way because I don't have any brother or sister living there I think it will not be impossible. But of course before anything, I'll make sure and see to it that he loves me and I love him too. Because I don't want to have a broken marriage in the future. It's not difficult for me to love someone who is nice, good and thoughtful to me. And most especially loves me. Yourself I think through on your letter, I can sense and also I have feelings that we almost the same in character, likes and dislikes. I just don't know, I am not looking after the outside beauty of someone to love but what I look for him or her is the beauty inside his/her body. I mean from his/her heart.
If you don't mind Jeff, I would like to know your birthday. Now if you're not so busy for this month, I am inviting you to come over on the 24th to join with us.
Well, I think I have to say bye! Bye! Now. Till next mail there is hoping for your earliest reply. I'll send some photos of myself next time if you have a new one. Okay??
Sincerely,
Judith
Now Judy sends me a wonderful card on October 8, 1979.
The front of the card says: Just to Keep in Touch:
Dear Jeff,
I'm sending you this card just to let you know that I am wondering why I got no reply for from you for my two letters dated August 23 and September 3, 1979 respectively. What's happening to you, why are you so quiet here in haven’t you received these two letters Jeff, please write back. Want to hear something from you. Okay??
My best regards to you always and hope you're always fine.
Always, Judith
Message in the card:
Dear Jeff,
Here's a friendly line or two just to keep in touch and say that you are thought about you'd be surprised how much! -
Sincerely
Judith 10/2/79
October 11, 1979
Dear Judy,
I'm sorry I haven't written sooner. I didn't realize that it has been about a month since your letter arrived. I will try in the future to write back much more quickly. I am a poor letter writer and don't really know why. Most of my male friends are the same way almost all female friends are very good letter writers.
I started school on September 5. I am taking two classes – the history of the State of Nevada (it's a required course but very interesting and enjoyable) and algebra (I find it hard, but it's a required course and the teacher is very good so I'll struggle through it, the best I can.)
My algebra class is a lot of homework and takes me a long time to finish. My history class is a lot of reading. I finally caught up in both classes. I have tests both classes on October 9 so wish me luck.
I want to thank you for your invitation to visit you. I would be very happy and pleased to visit you but I do not have the money to pay for the trip. A friend of mine has a book (Time – Life book on famous cities) and he loaned me the book on Hong Kong. I looked at every page and found the whole city very exciting. I would love to visit the city and you as soon as I could afford to. Before I forget my birthday is June 13. And I would like to know yours.
Also I want you to know that you are very much invited to visit me here in Las Vegas. I am fairly old-fashioned and believe the man should pay for dates, trips and other things for the woman. However, the sad fact is that I cannot afford to pay at this time so if you are fortunate enough to have somebody offer you the money to travel to the US for a visit, you would be very welcome stay with me and I could pay your expenses here in the US. I consider myself very generous and freely share all I have with my friends. -Several of my friends stay with me while they are here in Las Vegas and always had a very nice time.
My mother and father coming to visit me next week. They're coming from North Carolina which is 2,000 miles away.
Let me close this letter by telling you that you are very important to me and I am very fond of you as your letters reveal you to me. I want to get to know you better – now by letters and hopefully soon in person.
Sincerely yours, Jeff
October 23, 1979
Dear Jeff,
I received your letter five days ago and of course I was very happy to hear from you again. Imagine I missed your letter for about a month. I just hope that you'll not do it again Jeff, because I always longing to hear from you now. Okay? I hope to that you're always fine and in the best of health.
I don't say that I am a good writer. I am also a poor writer Jeff, but I'm trying the best I can to answer all the letters that arrived for me. Especially if there's none any questions, it's really hard to think about what to say in the letters. I enjoy receiving your letters and it adds joy on my day. We are just the same of being "fairly old-fashioned" as you said. You know I'm also an old-fashioned in many ways so when I told to my kid sister about it, she quickly turned to me and said that "we are the same and maybe we are compatible to each other". My sister you know is a bit modern especially in wearing clothes. But she doesn't work to me, because we always go out together and I don't let her to wear her back face close without any chafeco. And another thing which I really don't like for her is that she's a kind of Playgirl. Sometimes she's trying to convince me to be the same with her, but I always refuse so she always says that she doesn't want to go out with me.
But of course that will never happen, because I don't trust her to go out by herself alone here in Hong Kong. If it is in Philippines yes it's alright she can go wherever she wants and she can go out for a date with her boyfriend if she wants. Since we came back from our home holiday I'm not much worried anymore about her, because three days before we left she got married with her boyfriend in Philippines so I know that she'll stop about her being Playgirl., But you know just she's still doing it.
I hope you've been successful for your exam last October 9, I sure hope you didn't find it hard especially in algebra. I know algebra is really one of the difficult subject. I had passed through with that when I was in college and I had to use all my efforts in mind for it especially in solving problems.
By the way, my birthday was last month September 24. When I invited you to "join with us" in my previous letter I had pinpointed the exact date. Thought you'd remember. Well I have two close for now just, so bye! Bye! Extend my regards to your dad and mom and keep the most of it. Thanks a lot for the invitation to visit you. Don't worry, once I got a chance to trip to USA I assure you that I'll pay you a visit and if possible I'll stay with you. Okay? Please write back soon. Bye!
Always, Judy
November 3, 1979
Dear Judy,
I got your letter today I was happy to hear from you as I always am.
I want you to know that you are very good letter writer. You write beautifully because you write from the heart. I always enjoy very much reading your letters. They are a delight and always put me in a happy mood. I will try very hard to be as good a letter writer to you as you are to me.
I am doing very well at school. I got a 75 on that algebra test which was fairly high for the class. Algebra is a required course for hotel majors, and accounting majors and probably several other majors. The teacher asked the class today to raise their hands if algebra was the last math class they had to take and half the class put up their hands. And most of the rest like me just need one more math class. Most Americans have a fear of math, probably picked up in high school and just think they can’t do it. I used to feel that way but I have been reading books on self-improvement and a fear of math can be eliminated. I still have some fear but I realize I can understand and do the problems if I study. Today I had another math class and test and I did very well. I am also doing very well in my history class.
I am only taking six units (full – time is 12 – 15) because of money and time problems. I only moved to Nevada last April and would not be considered a state resident by the University. Out-of-state students have to pay an extra $750 a semester for nonresident tuition. By next September I'll be a resident and not have to pay non-– resident tuition. I'll probably take nine – 12 units depending on my work schedule.
I want to wish you a happy birthday for last month. I didn't realize that September 24 was your birthday I would have wished you a very happy one in my last letter.
I had a very nice visit from my mom and dad a week ago. They brought a girl from Australia who was visiting them on holiday. Australia has a very good custom of giving employees a three month vacation after they've worked for a company for 10 years. This girl, Diane, is the daughter of one of my father's Australian World War II buddies (my dad was in Darwin, Australia during World War II.)
Diane decided to take an additional three months and thus spend six months in the US. They all stayed with me at my apartment. Was very nice because my parents treated me to several shows at the hotels here. I saw Juliet Prowse (great dancer), Foster Brooks (funny comic pretends he's drunk), Tony Bennett (singer), David Brenner, (comedian), Joey Heatherton (dancer – singer), and Alan King (very funny comic who comments on society and injustices very well). All the shows served dinner and a couple of times we just went out to dinner including Benihana's – a Japanese restaurant with a cooked dinner right on the grill at your table.
I don't go to too many shows or dinners when I'm alone because I just can't afford it.
I'm going to end this letter here but I'll write again in a day or two and tell you more about me and my likes and dislikes and what I like to do.
Sincerely, Jeff
November 13, 1979
Dear Jeff,
Hi! It's me again, thanks for your entirely nice letter. I got it yesterday afternoon and of course what else do you think I would feel. I'm so glad to hear from you again. I just hope will have a regular communication as I always look with much anticipation to receiving your letters. I do really hope and pray that we meet in person in the near future.
I'm glad too to hear that you're doing fine with your studies. Try your best to prove more Jeff, I wish you luck about it. I feel so sad for our being so far from one another. If we only neighbors probably I could share with you about my knowledge and algebra, although I'm not very good, but at least I would try my best to share it with you. But there's no way it's really so impossible.
How wonderful your parents are for taking you out for good times. There really nice. I think did they stayed with you with that girl (Diane)? You had mentioned that she's going to take for another three months additional holiday in the US? She's staying with you at your apartment for this length of time?? As far as I know Australian people are also very nice and kind people anyway.
I had gathered some information on how one what kind of visa is the best way to go at USA that I could live and work. And someone told me about what his daughter did. As far as he told me, his daughter went to US as the tourists by using a tourist visa (multiple). In the US she stayed with her friends and one of them had support her until she got a green card for getting a job and then she got married to an American, so finally she's an American and citizen by now. Her father advised me to do like what his daughter did. And by now, because I really wanted that my dreams to reach USA be realized I tried to save more money that would be enough for all of the expenses for my trip maybe next year hopefully.
Well I'm going to close for now, bye! Bye! Till next mail. Try your best to write more often Jeff, because I always looking to hear from you. Okay? My best regards to you and hope you're always find and in good health. Extend my warm regards to your mom and dad. Bye!
Sincerely, Judy
November 21, 1979
Dear Judy,
I got your nice letter today and thank you for the kind words. I'm glad my letters make you happy because your letters make me happy.
Since my parents left my life has been quiet – no shows, eating at home. Diane is not staying with me, she left with my parents and they are all back in North Carolina about 2,500 miles away.
I do not have a girlfriend. In fact I have had very few girlfriends. I've always been shy, and for some reason girls think of me as a brother not a boyfriend. Girls here for some reason do not appeal to me very much. They are beautiful but most lack the inner qualities, and most are too aggressive for me.
I am still doing well in my classes and in my spare time I'm working on a method to make some extra money next year. As you know Las Vegas has legal gambling. And most of the games played (craps, blackjack, roulette, keno (like bingo) player cannot hope to win money. Those games are for having fun.
But this is a way to make money – betting on sports events. They have legal sports books (bookie shops) where you can bet on football, horse racing, baseball, and fights.
For the