Chapter 14
Love Letters from 1980
January 14, 1980
Dear Judy,
I hope you had a Merry Christmas. I really didn't have too great a Christmas. I didn't even have a Christmas tree which is very popular custom in America. My family lives too far away and I couldn't visit them. I used to ask myself why didn't have a girlfriend and I think I know why. I am fairly good-looking but it isn't good looks that attract other people – it’s personality. And unfortunately for me, my personality is a bit erotic and it is very hard for me to make friends of any type, especially girlfriends.
When I was growing up my family was not very emotional, not very intimate. Thus I grew afraid to express my emotions, and unable to be successful in most relationships. After a while it became a vicious circle, I would fail to have a successful relationship and I would be bitter and unhappy. And then I failed again I was more bitter. After a while I was too depressed to even try.
But lately things are going better. Writing to you is very helpful to me because it is easier than meeting you face-to-face first. I think you can get to know me and I know you and that I will feel much more relaxed when we meet in person someday. Lately I've been meeting with a group of people who have similar problems which unfortunately are fairly widespread.
I'm really anxious to be able to meet and enjoy being with people. I've made it my goal this year to improve myself as much as possible. So right now I want you to be my girlfriend, even if it is only with letters right now. You're the kind of girl I would have for a girlfriend.
Have a very Happy New Year.
Love, Jeff
January 23, 1980
Dear Jeff,
I hope everything is fine with you and you'll be more successful in this year 1980. But most of all take care of yourself and your health of course.
It's so bad you didn't have a great Christmas celebration. I wish I was with you to celebrate the wonderful season.
You know I have the same sickness since you have when I was still young, but little by little I've had adjusted myself. Until now I still have an inferiority complex but not the same as before.
Jeff I'm not sure, but if you're serious about what you mentioned in your letter then I'll interesting and I'll agree with you to be your girlfriend. Of course I'm glad to be your girlfriend, but if you're just joking then forget it. You know I am a one man woman and my behavior towards having boyfriend is just to stick to one. I don't want having two or more boyfriend at the same time. So with if we are going to keep this kind the relationship from now on even just through in writing by now, I would like that we must be honest to each other. In case you will have a girlfriend (sweetheart) over there you must tell me so that I wouldn't expect that you and same thing I'll do the same to you. Okay? Honest I have no boyfriend for about eight months now, so I'm free to accept your proposal or anyone else. Anyway, holiday was over so back to school again. How you getting along with your new school work and your job at the same time? I just hoping that you're still doing fine all of it. Well I have to end up here so bye! Bye! Now. Until next mail. Hope for your soon replied. My best and sweet regards to you always.
Thanks for your Christmas greetings.
Love, Judy
February 9, 1980
Dear Judy,
Everything is fine with me. The weather is getting spring – like and I've been outdoors more enjoying the nice weather. I like to go over to the University of Nevada and watch baseball games. It's really nice because there are no seats; everybody lays on the grass and watches the games and has a good time.
Next week I'll start to practice golf. I haven't played for a few months so I'll be a little rusty. Being outdoors and playing is really enjoyable for me and I can't wait.
I do want you to be my girlfriend and I will always be honest with you. I don't have any girlfriend here and I haven't had many girlfriends in my lifetime. I've only been serious with two girls and that didn't work out at all.
I'm back at school for the next semester. I'm taking beginning accounting and economics. Both have a lot of reading and studying. I'll be busy with them.
I've done most of the research for betting on baseball and it looks very promising. I'll certainly let you know how I'm doing when the season starts.
Take care, Love, Jeff
February 21, 1980
Dear Jeff,
I received your letter just a few days ago and I'm glad for you about having such wonderful time at the moment and enjoying by it. But hope whatever you may do or were ever you are, I would be at your thought at least from time to time.
Being far from your boyfriend is really a little hard, because I always imagined that thought about him what he's doing and how he spends his leisure time. But telling me about your likes and keeping yourself occupied for outdoors can make my feelings at ease. I hope you'll keep your word and always be honest and sincere to me. Sweetheart today is Valentine's Day, "Happy Valentine". Have you received my valentine’s card for you on time? I was hoping that could reach you on time. There will be a four days holiday here in Hong Kong starting on Saturday, 16 February until on Tuesday, because it's Chinese New Year. The yearly tradition of the Chinese People's periods they spar there visiting their relatives and friends and bring some fruits or suites for them to give away "Ang pous”.
I enclose a photo of myself taken just last month January hope you like it. If you have any whole lot a picture, please send me okay? By! Now, till next mail. Hoping for your earliest reply. My best and sweet regards to you always and the rest of your family.
Love always, Judy
March 5, 1980
Dear Judy,
Thank you for the lovely picture. You are very lovely. I am sad also that we are so far apart. But let's be optimistic that the future will bring us together. I really want that to happen, I will work hard to make it happen.
I want you to know that you are in my thoughts constantly and I look forward to the day when we will do things together. Frankly, I don't do a lot of things I'd like to do because I don't have you to share them. There are so many interesting places and things to do here I know you would like it.
But the most important is who you have to share your fun with. I think we both would be happy together. We think alike on a lot of the same things that we communicate well to each other. You have everything I'm looking for and I'm a fussy person which is one reason why I'm still single after all these years. But I would never settle for less than the best and I think you're the best.
You can count on me to be honest and keep my word. That's my nature plus I think it's the only way to be. I find it sad that such a concept as lying exists. Words should be to communicate not deceive.
I will have some pictures for you in a couple of days. Friend of mine is a photographer at the Frontier hotel where Wayne Newton this appearing. I'll send them in a couple of days.
Lots of Love, Jeff
March 9, 1980
Dear Judy,
I got back the pictures and really liked them. My friend is a good photographer. He took these inside the Frontier Hotel. I like the pictures; I think they show me as I am.
If things work out and I'm pretty sure they will, I hope to have enough money to pay for your plane ticket by June – July. How was your work schedule? Could you get vacation time this summer?
If I get the money, I'll definitely buy your plane tickets but I don't have it yet so don't quit your job or pack your bags yet. But I'll do all I can to make it happen. Wish me luck.
Love, Jeff
A Lovely card from Judy on March 19, 1980 – card says with special thoughts "Look up and smile".
Jeff,
Thanks a lot for the very nice picture of yourself. You look really cute, lovely words from the card
Look up and smile
When the skies are blue,
Rejoice, be glad
That He cares for you,
And don't despair
When the clouds are grey – –
The Master walks
By your side each day.
E. B. Michaels
Judy continues, maybe you could imagine how happy I was when I received it last Tuesday afternoon. But I am afraid I am not the right girl for you cause I'm not pretty. I don't possess the beauty that other girl has. Best regards for you… With Love, same
The card continues,
Dear Jeff,
Again words from the card,
I think of you so often,
And each time I say a prayer
That God will guide you lovingly
And keep you in His care.
Judy continues, I hope we could be together very soon. I wish you luck, I miss you a lot!
Much Love, Judy
March 21, 1980
Dearest Jeff,
Thank you for your letter. It was really nice hearing from you with your good news as usual. I'm so glad about it.
Well, the weather here in Hong Kong right now is not bad. I think it's really going to be springtime soon. I can even wear short sleeve at home. It's good to hear that cold weather at Las Vegas during winter season is not bad as like the other parts of America.
Oh, I'm having a little hard time in my job as a babysitter these past few days. The little boy had a high fever and a bad cough three days ago and can't sleep very well at night. This morning we went to see another doctor because seems there was no improvement at the same doctor. It had become worse.
I had a good day yesterday with friends but little tired at the end of the day. We did a lot of walked. I wish you'll be here and that we can spend some times together to walk at the hills. I think it would be so nice to be with your sweetheart sometimes. Isn't it?? Hope you're doing well with your interviews.
Please write soon.
Love, Judy
April 8, 1980
Dear Judy,
How's my lovely far – away girlfriend? I hope all is nice for you today and always.
I've been busy and had lots of company. My former roommate came up to visit for a week. He had quit his job and decided to have some fun before he started looking for another job. We gambled and played golf and had many fine dinners. Then the following week my brother-in-law came for a few days.
We saw spectacular show at the MGM Grand and had a fantastic Italian dinner before he left for Arizona to help his sister moved to Phoenix. She came out with my sister a year before and fell in love with Arizona. She decided to move after seeing all the beauty and nice weather. The whole Western area of America is the fastest-growing section.
School is going well, the semester is about half over and I am going for a degree in accounting.
Thank you for the card, it was very thoughtful.
Don't feel bad about having trouble writing a letter, I always have trouble.
Take care
Love, Jeff
April 17, 1980
Dearest Jeff,
Just got hold your letter and thanks.
Well, I'm just fine. I was at home during the past Easter holiday and didn't went out to enjoy myself with friends or my sister either. I was wondering it had been worried about what was happening on you for not replying my letter so soon. You know, I kept counting the days at the calendar from the date I mailed my letter to you. I don't know how, but I really feel so bad when your letter is delay. I think I'm getting closer to you. Don't you think so Jeff?? How about you??
It's good news to me that you had some good times with your old friend and brother-in-law. I'm glad you had enjoyed for their visit. How about me sweetheart?? Do you think you would enjoy on my visit to you someday?? I want to forever visit Jeff, (just kidding).
Well, keep up your good writing. But by the way, how many units more do you need to take up to finish your accounting course?? I wish you'll finish it early as possible.
In the previous letter, you had mentioned if I could have my holiday by June or July, 1980. Well, it depends if I couldn't take my leave this coming May like what I have told you, then there will be a possibility that I can make it on July. But of course, it all depends on your plan. Just let me know.
Jeff, enclosed are my photos just taken a week ago. Hope you'll like them. Maybe next time I'll send you a big one. Until next time, hope to hear from you so soon. As usual my best since my will regards to you. Also give my regards to your mom and dad. Bye!
Much Love, Judy
May 1, 1980
Dear Judy,
I wanted to get a letter back to you quickly. I'm very tired due to school (I had a test), work and baseball season started a week ago. I'm very busy.
Thank you for the lovely photos. I would like a large photo if it wouldn't be too much trouble.
I wanted you to hear from me quickly. I'll write a longer letter and a couple of days when I'm not so tired.
Love, Jeff
May 1, 1980
Dearest Jeff,
What’s wrong? Why so silent for so long? Something happen with you? I was so worried you know? Please write as soon or if possible if I'm not asking too much would you please try to write more often as much as you can. I had become restless these past few days and longing for your letters. If I only knew your present phone number may be I had called you. Really I am very much anxious to hear from you.
Jeff, I was thinking if you don't mind, to make your voice tape and send it to me. In return I'll do the same and sent also to you. How about this idea?? Could we started now by taping your voice and send next mail?? In this case, we can hear our each other voice and I'm sure we'll both feel happy about it!
By the way, could you give me your present telephone number? What present would you like for your birthday? Would you like me to wrap myself and send it to you or you don't want me at all. I'm just kidding!! Well, seriously speaking, can you give me an idea what to buy for you? Okay? I'll appreciate it very much if you can help me.
Works is just getting pretty well for me and I'm in good shape. Here with, I'm sending my pictures taken just recently hope you like it. How are you doing nowadays with your job interviews? Any good reports?? Well I am hoping and praying for the best for you.
My best of regards and Love to you always. Least say "hello" to your mom and dad for me. Okay??
Please write so soon and send your voice tape.
Much Love, Judy
P.S. did you get my Easter card?
May 12, 1980
Dear Jeff,
I'm so sorry I didn't know that you're as busy and so tired as at the present. I never thought about that. Please do take care of yourself. Explanation will do with me if any delay of your reply.
My wonderful wife of 26 years who wrote this letter just walked in so this is what I told her, I am putting your letters on my computer and it's is nice to read them again you write wonderfully. I'll understand, you don't have to worry.
When is the end of the school semester?? Hope you can be out of school soon to have enough time to rest. I'm worried ‘coz I do care about you so, please take care of your health, okay??
At present I can think of nothing to say so I guess I must say bye! Bye! Now. I've nothing special happenings also to tell you so until next mail. Hope to hear from you soon. To give my best regards to your mom and dad and keep the most of it Enclosed is my large photo. Hope you'll like it.
Love and kisses, Judy
May 15, 1980
Dear Judy,
Finally I get to sit down and write. I've been very busy. I spent a couple of hours registering for classes this summer and fall. I have to pre-– register to get what I want at the times I want.
I don't think I'm going to have the money to afford a plane ticket in June or July. I'll let you know when I do have enough and that we can make plans. I might just come to Hong Kong first. I'm sure my baseball betting will make money but there's a chance the baseball players may have go on strike May 22. I hope not. I do feel closer to you and enjoy your letters.
It's hard for me to get personal in a letter but since we're so far away it seems the best way to get to know each other better
You can tell me your likes, dislikes, and ask me any questions you might have
Tell all your friends hello for me.
Love, Jeff
May 23, 1980
Dear Jeff,
Thanks a lot for your wonderful letter. I was really happy about it, learning that we always have the same feelings for each other.
Well, I'm not also used about getting too personal in letter, but since this is the only way for us to get to know very well as for our relationship is concerned so, we must force to do it.
As you know, I am most simple person and I can tell you, I am not that difficult to please. And open-minded, conservative and I considered myself as a generous one. When it comes of my character or attitude towards people, well I'm not sure, ‘coz because until now, I don't see or heard anyone my relatives or friends says something which against about me. Maybe you can judge by yourself when time comes of our togetherness. Then at that time, you can say how and what character do I have as a person.
Because if you ask me, I can't tell you ‘coz I don't see anything wrong about it except that I am a bit fussy and old-fashioned in some open way. I like outdoors too. Sometimes you know, I come from imagining, since I know you like outdoors, I imagine maybe we are really meant for each other because of we almost have the same likes and dislikes. The fact, you haven't tell me yet further your likes and dislikes, but I have just figured it out. And for this reason I'm not quite sure if I'm correct about you. By the way, Jeff, I mean to ask you since before what religion you have,. Could you tell me what religion do you belong?? Please?
Don't worry about your planned for this coming June or July. I do understand you. As a matter of fact, I never thought to have you shoulder all the amount for the plane ticket. I wanted to share with you because I understand how it cost to you. We must help each other if we really wants to make it happen. From now on, because I didn't have US dollars savings so, I'm trying my best as I could to save until the time I finish my employment contract hereto have enough.
Maybe we can make plans a few months before I completed my two years contract year. I was thinking you know, because as much as possible I don't want to spend so much money just for traveling so, maybe we can settle this problem. I think you understand what I mean. But of course it all depends on you. Whatever it will be your decision for us, I'll respected.
On other hand, I'm so glad to know, you're thinking about coming Hong Kong first. I hope would be realized in near future.
Well I must go for now, until next mail. Hoping for your soon replied. As usual, my best and sweet regards for you always.
Please do take care of your health ’coz cause I care about you.
Love, Judy
Sweetheart,
I wish you all the best on your birthday. Hope all your wishes will come true. Happy birthday!! Judy
May 27, 1980
Dear Judy,
Thank you for the photograph. You are very lovely. And I really like the pose and the picture. You're very cute holding a stuffed animal. I like that quality in a person. Most people would think it's childish to pose like that. I don't like people who act like adults all the time. I've never really grown up and love the simple joys and happiness the children have. It's like the world has in major bitter, cynical, hurt, that you find joy in life and I like that.
I'm still like that myself though I have been hurt and it takes me time to overcome the hurt but deep down I go on a keep finding joy and happiness in living. And meeting you, so far away is one of those joys. If two people like us from different cultures can like each other, there's hope that countries with different backgrounds can someday find peace and happiness instead of war and misery. School is over for the semester I think I did very well. I have three weeks off before summer school starts. I joined a health club have been working out the last two days. I'm really happy I joined. I've let my body get out of shape through neglect and no exercise and I think that's the main and I was so tired. But it won't take long before I'll be in good shape with lots of energy.
Some bad news – the baseball betting hasn't been going very well plus the teams are going on strike and it looks like a long strike. What this means is I don't have the money to pay for a plane ticket for you to visit. But I'm going to be positive and hope that I can get the money and maybe I'll get lucky and get the money. It always helps to be optimistic.
Love and kisses to you, Jeff
June 11, 1980
Dearest Jeff,
Thanks for your entirely nice letter. I'm so glad you like the pose at the photograph. I was afraid you may wouldn't like it because I know there are some adult people doesn't like it people acting like a child. I love stuffed animals and sometimes I feel like playing with them, especially if it's bedtime. I want them to be with my size. I don't see any wrong about to love the things.
Jeff, I was so busy during the past few days and maybe still going on my busy days. I felt very weak at daytime during these past few days, because I don't have enough sleep at night. I got to wake up two times at the middle of the night to wake up my boss to feed her baby son and also to change his wet nappy. My boss gave birth to her second child on 27 May, 1980 and they came home from the hospital on Tuesday (June 3, 1980). So I have two children to look after now. I think you can imagine how to babysit two children at the same time. I like children very much especially babies, but I think I had worked too much with them now, because I feel of boredom by this time. I'm afraid of time comes for me to get married and have my own children I might get bored to take care of them. So I think I'll just finish my employment contract here to be sure I can give the best care for my own babies on the future. I do get some sleep at daytime, but it's really different from the night sleep. And I find it hard to sleep during the daytime.
Well bye! Bye!, Till next mail my best and sweet regards to you always. "Happy Birthday Sweetheart".
Much Love, Judy
June 20, 1980
Dear Judy,
Well it's my birthday and the true day (I was born on Friday the 13th, I wrote this on my birthday Friday, the 13th and what better way to enjoy it then to write you.
As I told you I'd write more often. I really meant to do that but several depressing things happen to me and depression even more knowing you are so far away as likely to be a while before we can get together. So I get in a bad mood and don't feel like doing anything. But that's selfish on my part and I'm sorry. I know you like to receive my letters and I enjoy receiving yours so it's only fair that I write more often regardless of how I feel.
The best thing happening to me is working out at the health center. I'm really getting in good condition physically. I hope a lot of the conditioning makes me feel better mentally.
I got B’s in both my courses last spring. I am taking two courses over the summer to get done. It's much harder in the summer because they're only five weeks to finish each class.
I think of myself as fairly simple and easy to get along with. I mainly don't like domineering people, I'm very low-key and non-pushy and I don't like my niceness to be taken for a weakness
I really don't know what it would be like to live with a woman because I've never done it. I'd certainly like to find out cause I'm tired of living alone. I felt I've never been able to accomplish what I'd like because I didn't have someone love me do shared with or to cheer me up during the low ball moments or offer ideas (two heads are better than one).
I find myself looking at other couples both married and unmarried lives and see if I agree with the way they treat each other. It's funny I favor women's liberation but I want a traditional girl who's interested in pleasing me. I want somebody who anticipates my needs, does things I like, knows my moods (good and bad) and adds to my life. I want someone who is willing to try new things, experiment.
I gave up thinking a lot of things that are really beautiful and natural (like sex) are dirty and cheap. I grew up with parents who love me but were unable to communicate how to be close to other people, to be able to tell people that you like them or love them. I'd like to learn how to be intimate with people, how to really be close, to express feelings without feeling nervous or tense.
There are so many things I'd missed out on. I want to change but it's hard because the early growing years form a large part of personality. That's why I feel the girl of my life is going to be very important to me because it will be my first true love and will greatly change my life.
I hope this isn't too heavy. Take care and I'll try to write back sooner. My religion is Catholic though I disagree with a lot of their doctrine.
Love, Jeff
July 6, 1980
Dearest Jeff,
Thanks for your wonderful letter. Well, how are you getting along now?? How is your health? It's really nice to know that you doing some improvement for yourself. It's really not that hard sweetheart if you really want to change. Take it little by little and you'll see, you'll find yourself later than you're not the same Jeff as before. Be patient sweetheart and try to avoid to do things you have now that you don't want and you want to change.
Regardless between us well, take it easy and the patient. Remember you were the one who said that we must see optimistic for our distance to each other. Who knows maybe in the near future we can be together. Just don't feel so depressed. I have strong feelings that we could be together the very near future. But of course we must help together to work it out. A few months more is not that too long to wait.
I had been very busy for the past few days and now I am here at the hospital with the baby. The baby has been sick for about a week now and since at the past three days he is running a high fever every night. We consulted him the specialist Dr. and it was found out that he has a urine infection. May be will be here at the hospital for a week.
Well, I must say bye! Bye! Now... Until next time, please write soon, okay??
Best regards and take care of your health. Just relax man.
Love and kisses, Judy
July 28, 1980
Dear Judy,
And how are you? I find myself slipping into my old bad habits and not writing back to you quickly enough. I'm at least trying to change that habit. I don't seem to have trouble when I talk to someone but I find it very hard to write letters. It just doesn't seem to flow. I think it has something to do with the fact there isn't a lot of my life worth remembering or writing about. I try to look forward to the future because that will be better.
School is going okay. It's really hot in Las Vegas and I feel like skipping classes in that weather but I think good and not miss any. Right now I'm taking a computer class that teaches how to use a computer and teachers is beginning programming. It's fun.
I've been playing golf in the hot weather. A friend who lives here in the complex just bought a set of clubs wants to play a lot so we've played a lot.
I've been spending lots of time in the pool and play some volleyball. Plus I've been trying to go to my health club regularly. I feel like I've been doing positive things but still would not describe myself as a happy personality. I'm lonely for one thing and for another but hopefully the future will change both of those.
You’re about the nice part of my life. Keep the nice letters and cards coming, I appreciate them.
Love, Jeff
October 14, 1980
Judy includes a lovely photograph of her in on the back she writes Dearest Jeff, just for you to remember me by always. With Love, Judy aah that's so nice. Is really nice to relive these letters I haven't looked at him in over 30 years.
Dearest Jeff,
You as my sweetheart today? And he is a Jeff? Just hope and pray you're always fine and in the best of health. Thanks a lot for your wonderful letter. I was really so glad to hear those words you mentioned and I admired it. If he really meant it, then we'll help together to work out to make it happen. I hope it would be realized that will be together in the future and forever. Because I would be excited to look forward that time we will spend together.
You're in my thoughts very often nowadays and I began to miss you. How about you?? How about your studies?? Are you getting along now? I'm sure you're doing great as usual… Don't you??
I find it hard now to make a letter to you, ‘coz I don't know what to say. You know, I became married minded person since we had our understanding and I thought a lot of things will have two so and things will need when the time comes on our togetherness
I'm planning to take a home holiday on May, but am n