Chapter 34
Jeffee and His Adventures in Law School
This is one of those rare moments I don't enjoy very much in my house. I used to have a lot of time to myself in my house and actually enjoyed it because anyone who suffers from Asperger's Syndrome doesn't want to be around people all the time, they would much rather be with a computer and by themselves.
Okay so let me enjoy these few minutes alone I have because soon I will have to pick up my granddaughter Malia over at the childcare center but luckily the day care center stays open for about another hour and a half so I can actually sit here and have a half an hour of uninterrupted dictation which is a miracle anymore.
So let me tell you about my adventures in law school. I really have never had any idea what to with my life. Never had drive and ambition to go into any career area and unfortunately I wasn't smart enough at a young age to see that I really liked investing and financial things. I should have studied something in finance or business but no water under the bridge so I'll live with it. I don't blame a lot of this on me; I blame it on my disease Asperger's Syndrome.
I majored in history and government at the University of Arizona. Anyone will tell you today in the typical sarcastic fashion: you have degree in liberal arts “Would you like fries with that”? I didn't worry about my degree in government and history making me unemployable, I knew I was going to go to law school. Luckily I did very well in my law school admission test and got a 6 70. I still remember the score was a very good score. I had no idea what the range of scores was but that was a good score.
I probably needed a good score on the law school admission test because my grades weren't that spectacular. I had maybe a B- average. For some reason the University of Arizona used a really weird grading system where 1 was an A and 4 was a D.
I figured the U of A grading system would work in my favor since most schools make an A to be a 4 so their best average is 4.0. If you get 2.8 average like I did and people think it's on the four-point scale that would benefit me because they would think I got 2.8 out of 4.0, not realizing I got 2.8 out of a 1.0. The University of Arizona was the same school I graduated from and was the only law school I applied for.
Luckily for me back in 1969 there weren't that many people who saw the dollar signs by going to law school and so basically a lot more people with lower grades would get admitted.
And again like I told you elsewhere in this book, my law school career got interrupted by the Army inviting me to join them à la the draft. But this is a strictly about what I can remember in law school and not about the interruptions.
Basically I went one semester of law school, two years in the Army, one semester of law school, dropped out for semester, got into this special work study program that let me work part time for the City of Tucson Election Bureau and go to law school. Of course law school wouldn't cut me any slack and for whatever reason law school did not allow anybody to take less than 12 credits or what they considered a full semester load. So that meant I didn't really get a lot of time off to at law school to do a lot of studying.
Well I jotted down at work today some of my first find memories and un-fun memories of law school.
I have one very sad event to report that is related to law school. The person who sat next to me in law school my freshman year in 1969 is the District Court judge in Arizona who was shot and killed by that young man who wanted to kill the Congresswoman. He was a great guy back then and was a great guy his whole life. His name was John Roll. I went to his wedding will the summer before we started law school. I still remember he wore braces back then. He was a wonderful person than and unfortunately I really never got to interact with him after law school.
I did read that he made federal district court judge which is very high honor for any lawyer. I still remember ironically when John sat next to me in law school our freshman year he was really worried and said you think I'll make it through law school, do you think I'll be a good lawyer?
l John you are not only a great lawyer but a great person. I'm really sorry you died and left you and all of my sympathy to your family and friends upon your tragic loss. I say a prayer for you all the time. John was a very religious man and I believe he went to Mass every single day. He will be sorely missed by everyone who knew him and many people who didn't know him because he was one of the best human beings ever put on this planet. I ask all of you reading this to say your own prayer for John right now. Help his family cope with their terrible grief and be able to go on with their lives because that's what John would want.
So let's talk about some other things from law school I remember. At some point I hope you don't hate me because I have too good a memory. I'm very thankful for that because I had to live with the fact that my mother had Alzheimer's disease for about the last 25 or 30 years of her life since maybe I was 40 years old. She didn't even recognize us and thank God my father joined the Masons because the Masons have this wonderful nursing home in Camden, New Jersey. My mother was able to get care 24 hours a day from very wonderful people and the only cost was her Social Security check which I could afford. Unfortunately I didn't have a lot of other money to pay for care for my mother so I am very thankful that wonderful people like the Masons built a nursing home like that and I'm very glad that my dad joined the Masons.
Okay let's talk about the first thing I remember from law school in no particular order. I will never forget my freshman year contracts class. When I walked into my contracts class, the law school professor look more like a truck driver that a lawyer. We were sitting in this big round amphitheater-like classroom that was tiered so the back rows were higher than the front rows like you one of those roman amphitheaters where they would put on plays.
The class was contract law wait and her teacher was Professor Rappaport, I still remember. I had no idea what law school was going to be like. I had attended the University of Arizona for four years and I kind of thought law school would be similar; boy was I ever wrong.
The first day of class in contract law, Professor Rappaport gave us an outline of what we would go over that semester and told us all the following startling information I and in found unbelievable then and I still find unbelievable. Professor Rappaport told us that our entire grade for the contract law class was based on the final examination. The final examination would be an essay style exam in these very large what they called blue books which are just little pamphlets with a bunch of paper in him stapled in the middle.
I could see the immediate effect of Professor Rappaport telling our class of roughly 100 people in the freshman contract’s law class that their participation did not have any effect on their grade. At the next class, the number of students sitting in that amphitheater shrunk from about 100 to about 30. One thing Professor Rappaport made clear at the opening day class.
Professor Rappaport didn't want anyone to bullpoop him in class. The professor told us that his standard teaching method would be to talk about a contract law case or court case that related to an important idea in contract law. We were given this massive textbook on contract law that maybe was 1,200 pages long. The court case in the book might be 20-25 pages of the judge's ruling; the logic that the judge use for the majority decision and maybe even a dissent from the minority judge if it was important.
Luckily for us they had these books at the bookstore exactly across the street from the law school that were called Tracs. Basically they were short Cliff Notes style one-page summaries of the issue involving the case, the decision and the major points of law that the judge used to make his ruling. They were a godsend for many of us because who had the time to read 100-150 pages of courtroom testimony in three or four different subjects and all the classes we were taking in law school. Well here's what Professor Rappaport told us that I found amazing.
Professor Rappaport said when he did call up the name of a case like Jones versus Smith; he would call on somebody in the class to give a summary of the case. Professor Rappaport was a no-frills directly to the point kind of guy.
Professor Rappaport had really tight little crew cut and looked more like a drill sergeant or truck driver than a lawyer. He said if I call on you and you have not read the case and really have no idea what the case is about don't waste my time and don't waste the classes’ time, just tell me: " I am not prepared."
I'll never forget one day while were in class, Professor Rappaport calls on the first student. The first student says I am not prepared. The second student says I am not prepared. Then a third student said I am not prepared. Professor Rappaport promptly slammed his contract book shut, stormed off the podium and left the classroom. All of us students were a little bit stunned. I guess he didn't appreciate students coming to class who hadn't read or studied what he told them to study and know.
Here's another good example of the amazing things that happened in my life. My constitutional law class was taught by the law school Dean I forget his name. He was a very liberal minded type of person. The Dean was worried that maybe us law school students really had no idea what an essay exam would be like in law school. So he said we will have a practice exam after a couple of months and you will write the essay and then I'm going to review all of your exams and give you some good examples of what you should write on your real essay exam.
The day of the exam came and I and the rest of the students got out their little blue book and wrote their exam answers to the questions. A couple of days later we got the exams back and believe it or not, my sample exam is considered one of the best. I believe the law school Dean/constitutional law professor gave back maybe three exams and mine was one of the top three out of maybe 70=80 students so I was very proud of myself. I thought well I got this law school exam thing down pretty good.
Well, wrong weedhopper. Finally comes the time to take the final exam in his class and the other classes and of course to help me with my mood about taking the exams; all these exams came about a month after I got my draft number of 69 and knew I was going to get drafted that put me in a real foul mood. So I write my exam. Oh I forgot to tell you one really strange and interesting thing.
Believe it or not our Dean of law school wanted us to cheat. He told us we could bring into the exam any material on constitutional law that we wanted to bring in to help us. Of course I would take full advantage of this as are all the other students. So I went across the street to the college bookstore, looked around the constitutional law section and bought two or three books that were quickly titled, written by one of America's leading experts on constitutional law.
One of the questions, maybe all of the questions on the exam, basically would say something along the lines of this: what do leading constitutional law experts say about the Bill of Rights or search and seizure or the right to bear arms or some general constitutional law topic like that.
Just like everyone else in the class I promptly got out my "cheat" books from the leading constitutional law experts, looked up what they said about the constitutional law area he wanted, and basically plagiarized whatever the law experts said because that's what he wanted on the exam; he wanted the leading constitutional law expert’s opinion on that issue, not mine.
So I'm expecting to get an A on this exam because I had the leading constitutional law experts and I wrote down what they said about various constitutional law issues, exactly what he wanted.
Once again wrong, weedhopper. When I got my exam back I had gotten a C. I couldn't understand how I could get a C. I did exactly what he said; I wrote down exactly what the leading constitutional law experts said in that constitutional law area. To this day I feel I didn't get a C, the leading constitutional law experts got a C. And if these leading constitutional law "experts" were really mediocre constitutional law scholars, then why the hell did somebody publish a book by them which said they were the leading constitutional law experts to this day that makes no sense to me.
Once again as the title of my book says “my only crime was being born”, a typical strange thing happened to me when I was taking one of the other law school exams. For whatever reason one law school professor was very clear and specific that he only wanted to see black ink in our blue book for his exam. And again I could be an idiot at times but I didn't try to be. I'm writing the exam and basically was amazing; you could write the exam anywhere; you could write it in the classroom you go to law school library. I guess you could go across the street to the Student Union table. They didn't care because they said all you have to do is be ethical and not and we trust you. Can you believe they were talking about lawyers or future lawyers?
In my life the unusual and bad happened as you can tell from many pages in this book. I'm writing away on my exam with my ink cartridge pen. If you remember ink cartridge pens, they were the rage back in the late 60s, early 70s basically they had the local clear plastic chamber. You'd open the top drop when these little plastic ink thingies in the cartridge screwing shot and then it would puncture hole in the bottom of the cartridge and dripped paint into the 10 point so you could write. Businesses are always hated ballpoint pens oil was used these type of cartridge ink pens.
Like I said I'm writing along and then after to three pages my ink runs dry. I panic. But then I remember there's a little drugstore about a block away from the law school so I leave the exam, carry my little blue book with me, go to the drugstore to buy more ink cartridges; I believe the pens were made by Schaeffer. Naturally when I go and find the ink cartridge section, the only Schaeffer ink cartridges available are in red. And I bought the red cartridges. About that professor, it looked like I was defying him.
I wasn't try to do that at all and I actually put a little note I think on the inside cover my bluebook, Dear Prof. please forgive me, I ran out of black ink and when I went over to the drugstore the only color of ink they had was red please don't hold that against me I'm sorry. Again that was another exam I got a C in so to this day I don't know if I got the C because he didn't like what I wrote in my essays or I used the wrong color ink.
One other funny thing in law school basically happened all of us. The professors told us about the exam process. They actually told us that it's a completely open dialogue when you get your exam back. If you don't like the grade, you can come in and talk to the professor. Of course anybody with half a brain knew that was the most wishful thinking we had ever heard. Nobody in their right mind would go in and talk to the professor about the grade they got; you just suck it up and live with it.
You will I find out that it's really awkward to be dictating on Dragon and then the phone rings and you put down the Bluetooth and start talking to your wife or whatever on the phone and suddenly notice some weird words are popping up in your little word document.
Meanwhile back with the student who actually dared to ask a professor about his grade. The student got a C on his exam; again they never broke out how many people got A's B's and C's. The questioning student had no idea whether this prof was just giving everybody C’s or that student’s exam really sucked enough to give a C and everybody else got A’s.
Everybody was laughing when they heard that this student was going to go see the professor about his grade. The student goes in to see about his grade. I believe he went to see Professor Rappaport who I talked about earlier who taught contract law. Professor Rappaport handed this student his exam bluebook. The bluebook consisted of who knows 20-30 pages of written answers to essay questions. When the student looked at the essay exam and scanned through all of the pages, maybe 30 pages in that exam; there was not one mark on the exam. How are you going to talk to an expert in that legal area when you're a freshman in law school and there isn't one comment on your essay exam? To make a long story short guess what! The student’s grade didn't get changed and he lived with a C in contract law. Of course having the stupidity to go in there and challenge his grade made him a legend in law school; I wonder if he ever graduated.
One the other thing I forgot to tell you is while I'm going to law school my freshman year; it was a horrible experience for me socially and housing wise. All of my friends had graduated from the University of Arizona with their degrees and they didn't come back that following September and I was there basically at school with no friends.
Then I went to this landlord that I had previously rented an apartment from and I wound up living in this really horrible one room apartment, one room in the back of another house. I had a little bed that was maybe from the 1930s, definitely a lot smaller than queen-size. The bed just had enough room for one person, which ironically was fine for me because I didn't have any female contacts that required the use of the bed.
Right behind the bed was a tiny little kitchen area. I had a tiny little refrigerator I guess I had that a bathroom and shower. I can't remember and I had a tiny desk to study at. I think the best description of it would be a jail cell with the kitchen. This is quite contributed to my depression. I came home one day and again my luck sank lower, somebody had actually nailed the screen door of my apartment shut. I couldn't get in my front door and finally after a great deal of effort I was able to get the window opened right next to my bed and crawled in through the window to get back in my apartment. Of course my depression got worse after I found I was going to get drafted. Law school was a completely horrible and ugly experience for me.
One amazing thing I quickly got to learn was that just about all of the students in law school were in law school because lawyers made very large salaries or big bucks. Not too many of them were Ralph Nader like lawyers who went to law school so they could help the poor and challenge laws discriminating against the poor. These guys and a few gals were out for the big bucks. They were going to represent the corporation; they were not going to represent granny or a homeless person.
At least one other of my friends by the name of Hugh Riorden also rose to very distinguished legal circles like my friend, the late John Roll did. Hugh Riordan became a Supreme Court judge for the state of Montana. How he wound up in Montana from Arizona I have no idea. I do remember him telling me that his real dream was to run a vineyard. Maybe Montana was a good place to grow up grapes and make wine.
I still remember Hugh had a really kooky, eccentric wife who if you ever met her; you'd think she should be committed. Yet she was the smartest person in law school. If you write the best exam in any particular class the law school slang for that is: she wrote the book on that exam. Hugh’s wife wrote the book in many classes. Hugh was smart; he was getting A minuses. She was getting A+s. Whatever she ever did with her law degree I don't know but she was one of the smartest law school students ever.
My peace and quiet is now over. I'm going to sign off on Dragon. I think I've said everything I want to say about law school and now it's time to resume the clutter and wonderful love of a little granddaughter girl in my life as I go to the day care center and pick up my wonderful granddaughter Malia.