Preface
My personal search for meaningful relationships began with the quest for romance. Romance implied closeness or sharing, as well as intimacy. This closeness as in “true friendship” seemed to have priority overall other values when seeking the right romantic short or long-term encounters.
In the right climate and under the right circumstances, we humans seem to have an instinctive generosity of spirit and willingness to share ourselves with others. It is a well-known spiritual and natural truth that when we reach out to others, we expand our own horizons and start living on a much grander scale.
My own family is an example of such loving and sharing. I feel blessed to have two daughters who are strong, independent, generous, compassionate, and intelligent. My brother is another example of a person who demonstrates integrity and honor in his interaction with others. My parents, now deceased, added to my personal growth by teaching me about making responsible choices – perhaps as much from the downward spiral of violent alcoholism as from their intrinsic values exhibited in sober times. They also imparted their wisdom concerning loyalty, faith and other virtues aligned with what I like to call universal or spiritual laws. These laws are the basis for world religions yet transcend any particular doctrine or creed.
Like almost all families, we have seen the best and the worst of times. It seems to be part of our life journey; how else could we learn except by inviting experiences into our lives that require choices? Trial and error is our best teacher! When success is measured not by the dollar sign but by personal achievements that include overcoming obstacles, our family could certainly stand tall. By the same token, we’ve also made grave errors in judgment that led to temporary chaos and despair. Yet through it all, we managed to stay focused on positive, clearly defined goals. Also inherent in the fabric of our family spirit was a sense of optimism.
Although self-help and inspirational material on relationships are readily available in every possible media format – books, CDs, DVDs, seminars, etc., and there’s no shortage of life coaches and seminar trainers, for the most part I’ve discovered these programs disconcerting. I suspect their popularity is the ease with which they give us the illusion that we have already achieved those lofty goals ourselves, when in fact we are only vicariously experiencing the success of others. We Americans are all too willing to let someone else do the work for us.
That is why I decided to write this book. It has been my personal experience – and what better teacher can there be but the bruises and scratches from our own life’s catwalk – that whatever our needs, whatever our desires — regardless of how much wisdom we’ve culled from others — ultimately we have to do that work ourselves, our way!
Each of us is unique; our lives are unique. We can read and listen to and attend seminars all our lives and still never make those important changes unless we customize the program for ourselves, and then act on our intentions. We also need to find a path of service that suits our own calling and connection to the God Source.
In the large variety of life experiences, it is a given fact that happiness comes from focusing on answers and outcomes; as they say, we are part of the solution. Added to this piece of wisdom is humor, lots of it — and I wish to share a bit of it with you here.
Recently, I have required dentures. It’s amazing how this alters your idea of being attractive! Learning how to eat and speak all over again is enough to have to deal with, so I certainly wouldn’t have a clue about the logistics of a passionate kiss! Maybe that will come in the future. Replacing one loss with another, recently I have started to add girth to what was once a svelte and shapely form. But do you know what? That’s just fine, too! Who am I looking for? A 24-year-old Adonis with every hair and tooth still intact? Let’s be realistic!
In fact, everything’s just fine as long we stay true to who we are with the optimism of a romantic, and we’re always cooking up another Stew . . .