Chapter 3
I hear the gate handle. I started rushing to put all my books back into my bag. Put a smile on your face Gabriella. Be as nice as possible and very friendly. Remember to greet with respect and love. I love my father, I really do, but what he is doing to my mother is just not fair. I hear the car door open and shut. The creak of the sound of our old gate brings us to reality that my father will be entering the house very soon. My heart is racing; it is beating so fast to comprehend the tension I feel in my stomach. I can see the door handle open and up comes my smile. “Good afternoon daddy” I greeted with all the love and respect as he expects from us. “Afternoon” he replied back with no emotion showing on his face. As cold as ice is all I could see. My hands were sweating as he passed me when he walked down the passage towards their bedroom. My mother froze for a minute and then started moving again as he entered their bedroom. My mother started dishing up immediately. You can feel the tension in the house, it is worse than other times. It is so thick that you can literally cut it with a knife. There was no eye contact between them nor were there any words exchanged. I had to take my father’s food to him as he sits in front of the telly watching the 6 o’clock news. Evenly spaced and beautifully presented just the way he likes it. “Please bring me a green chili. It is in the door of the fridge” he asked politely. That is the most words he has spoken the entire time since he arrived home from work. My father is working long hours. He is working in the meat industry. Early in the morning you will hear the bath water run and the kettle boil. As soon as you hear the water stop running you know he is heading to the kitchen to turn off the smoking hot and boiling kettle. He makes coffee and then jumps into the bath. Not long after you hear the bathroom handle, you will hear the hair dryer. That was my indication that he will be leaving for work soon and it is time for us to get up and get ready for school. When he gets home from work, he smells just like biltong. It reminded me of him when I miss him while he goes on trips. “Ha” trips… yeah right. He loved surprising us with some dry wors or biltong. That was a total treat. When he wanted to treat me, he brought home a loaf of smoked hickory ham that he made himself. That is the best ham I have ever tasted in my whole life. It is meaty yet juicy and tasty all in one. We have a bread cutter to ensure that we cut the bread straight. I use that to slice the ham perfectly and for some reason or another, the slices were exactly the same size as the bread. It is like he knows every millimeter of the bread; the width and the length. After eating, my father takes his plate to the kitchen. “Gabi, tell Suné I want Coffee” he said. His lips are touting and the corners of his mouth became brackets again. You can see the anger building up once again. I jumped up quickly to relay the message. Suné was listening to music in her bedroom, shutting the world out. I can hear her thumping as she danced by herself in front of the mirror. The music is so loud that I just barged in because there was no way that she would hear, if I had to knock. “Daddy asked if you will make him coffee please” I said very politely. She mumbled some words, but not loud enough for me to hear what she was saying. I just smiled and walked back into the lounge to excuse myself for the evening. “Goodnight daddy” I said as I bent over to kiss him. I walked towards my mother and I see the worried look on her face; the look of my father starting a fight again. “Goodnight mommy” I said as I kissed her and gave her a hug. Walking towards our bedroom, I wondered what was brewing that night. I am actually too tired to think about it intensely. Emotionally drained and exhausted is exactly how I feel. Yawning away I entered a room where my little baby sister was sitting, minding her own business. She had a blank look on her face. I know when something bothers her, when something is wrong. I wish there was more that I could do. I wish that I could scoop her out of this world and just take her to a place where she can just be her playful self. Be a child and be who she really is. But I knew that it is only a dream because the fighting will never stop. “Hey” I said entering, bringing her back to reality from her day dream. “Hey” she said. “Are you okay Abby?” I asked really concerned. She nodded as she stood up to open her bed, letting out a little sob. I held her tight and comforted her best I could. “Everything will be okay again Abby, I promise. All this will blow over quick, you’ll see.” I lied knowing that this will probably happen again, but I had to reassure her that everything and everyone will be okay. Crawling into my own bed after this whole ordeal was as if someone poured sleepy dust into my eyes. I was beyond tired now. I was too tired to think of “what next” or “what if” my father starts his abusive manner again. Last thing I remember is saying goodnight to Abby. I do not even remember turning off my bedside lamp.
Friday! It is finally time for the weekend that is after school only though. “Oh, I almost forget” I said out loud. I almost put my blue shirt and brown dress on. Laughing at myself I scratched in my t-shirt drawer for a blue one. I must wear white shorts with a blue t-shirt. That is the color of our athletics house. It is our inter-house today and I can’t wait to run my heart out in the 100m race. We have been practicing every afternoon this week. Abby was dressed already and waited for me to help brush her hair. “Oh the joys of being a big sister” I said as I took her hair band out. We giggled because she had very fine hair and her neck hair always had knots in without fail. After brushing our hair, we had to rush to school or else we would not get a seat in the shade. Running and jumping, here and there and everywhere. The sun is blistering hot with not a sign of rain. Blue as the ocean is all I see as lay on my back staring at the skies. I hear the kids laugh and run and play far in the midst. I hear the cap gun pop when the race starts and the cheering parents scream for their child’s team to win. But all I can think of is what I would give to have my parents here today. What a change it would be to have them scream and shout and cheer me on as I run my little legs to a pulp. I sometimes dream of how things would be if there was not swearing and abuse at home. I always think of what my father could have accomplished without being so ill. Working an entire month just to give it to someone because you think something greater will happen with the little bit you have. I know that hard work pays off but what does that help? When I was smaller, I really did my best in class. I was even in the “A” class. So proud of myself then, but now I do not really care. If I study very hard and get very good marks, that will be expected of me all the time. The other thing is that there is never money so why study myself silly if I know that there is no money for further studies. I was kicked back to reality when a boy tried to jump over me and literally fell over me. Coughing and holding my ribs I tried to get up. I could not help but laugh. Lying there thinking of stupid things, serves me right. “Are you okay? Did I break any ribs? Can you walk?” he asked continuously. “Oh, don’t worry, it is all fine. I will be fine.” I stuttered. Really... really, did this have to happen to me? He is so popular. He spoke to me... ME? Wow... I thought as I feel all the blood rush to my cheeks. I can hardly breathe but I'm not showing it to Bradley. All I see is his perfect pearly white teeth smiling at me. His flowing brown hair is damp caused by the sweat running down his face and neck. I can feel how I drift away in his forest green eyes. The different shades look like an oil painting of a forest on a rainy day. A touch of a hand shocks me back to reality. "Are you sure you are okay Gabby" he confirmed. I stepped back lifting my arm to break loose from his gentle grip. He was very cute but so out of my league. Anyway, I was not allowed to have boys as friends. That was a very strict rule in our household. You do not dare bring a boy that is a friend home. My father would chase them away even before you could snap your fingers. To save myself the embarrassment I started walking towards the girls change rooms. “Gabby… Gabby, come! They are all waiting for you. They want to start the race.” I heard someone say out of breath. “I am on my way.” I screamed out of the change room. As I stepped out the doorway, I can see my age group gather, waving their arms for me to hurry up. I did not want to run and make myself tired before the race starts hence me lying on the grass earlier. I am now as ready as I’ll ever be right now. "On your marks" Mr Swanepoel said. Bending down, placing my hands behind the line thinking of what I want to really do. "Get set" he said. I am totally focused to give my all... "BANG!" the gun went off. Running as fast as I can, I feel the air blowing through my hair. My pony is almost as straight as a horse’s tail. I need to get a place in the top 4. Run & run and finally the race ended. I came third. If I think of it, third is not a bad place to come. It is not first but luckily not stone last either. I just smiled at myself as I stood proud as they announced my name. I am secretly happy for another reason. Reason being that I don’t have to be in the house of drama. I am free for a day. "Yes, yes yes!!!" is all that came out at this point in time. School was a so much fun today. I love participating in sport. It really takes the edge off my nerves and I can be myself.