Chapter 4
As I get closer to our gate, I can feel by my wet palms that my nerves are building up. I can hear them. My father is standing in the drive way. It looks like he is going out tonight. "Phew" I thought, luckily there is no fighting. He is actually very happy today. He is smiling and talking to Suné while shoving money into her hand. "Here, buy them some sweets." he said as he started reversing his red car out. I can see my mother standing in her room behind the curtains. I know she feels relieved when he goes. Yup, my father was the happiest when leaving the house. He always said that he is going out, but I know he was on his way to the casino. For a man that hated alcohol, he definitely replaced it with gambling. It makes me so sad to see him so happy, leaving us at home knowing he is going to blow his money. I guess that we should be used to it by now but I always hoped that it would stop. My father gambled his money out while at times my mother had to work overtime to feed and clothe us. “Well, at least we will have some peace for a change.” Suné said as she counted the money in her hands. Entering the house I smelt the aroma of freshly baked bread. I love the smell of fresh homemade bread. “Mmmm” I said closing my eyes imagining some pure butter and strawberry jam on it. Knowing that there is probably only margarine, I still imagined it. “Good afternoon mommy” I said. A huge smile is what I faced and I embraced her with open arms. It feels like heaven when I feel her love through her hugs and kisses. I closed the smallest gap I could by tightening my grip around her body and she did the same. Deep down inside, I feel very sorry for my mother. She was so kind and friendly and the love she has for people shines through her entire being. My mother is a nurse and with her beautiful personality, she fits the shoe perfectly. She is cunning and caring, not to mention, having the world’s patience. I sometimes wonder where she gets it from. “Do you smell it Gabby?” she asked. “Oh yes mommy I do” I answered as I once again close my eyes to inhale the smell. “Get undressed, I will cut the bread and get the butter and jam out in the meantime.” I rushed to my room to get changed as quickly as possible. “Hey” I heard a voice said as I entered. “Hey Abby, you okay?” I asked. “I am fine thanks. Congrats for making the team.” she said politely. “Thank you Abby. I am glad too. I was wondering, would you like to play some bunny-hop later on. It can only be fun.” “Sure, that would be really nice. The loser has to clean our room okay?” “Deal” I replied while digging in my drawer. I know I have a yellow shirt in here somewhere. I love yellow… it represents my mood and it is obviously my favourite colour, bright shiny yellow just like the sun. When the sun is out, all the children are happy and I can hear them at play from afar. Their laughter just confirms their happy situation at home. I love playing with Abby. Hearing her laugh and seeing her play makes me happy because I know she is happy. I can see it for myself. Ah finally, found my yellow t-shirt with green leaves on it. The writing on it says “I have jungle fever.” I don’t know what it actually means but it made me feel free like being in a jungle with friendly people and lots of animals. “Gabriella and Abigail, food’s ready.” We rushed to the door. Abby was faster out the door than I was. “Thank you mommy, this looks delicious.” Oh I was so grateful. I only had my sandwich at school and some water for the entire day. This tastes just like cake as my mommy always says when she eats bread with jam. She was sitting across from us and told us a story of her own childhood. My mother had a very hard life growing up. My grandmother died when she was only 4 years old, so she actually grew up with my grandfather and other family members. She told us of when she grew up and she had to walk miles and miles to school. Her sisters had to drag her to school every day. She really hated school. They went to school without lunch because there was no bread. The welfare use to pay the people she stayed with to look after them, but the money was used on their own children. I could not believe my ears. She continued to tell us that while she was at school, there was a specific teacher that made inappropriate jokes. Before he started his jokes, he would always ask her to fetch him water from a certain tap. The tap was very far from the class so it would give him ample time to finish his joke. After school, she had to run through factories to get home and most of the time she stopped to look if someone maybe put their lunch one side that they did not want. Eventually there was a certain factory that had their break at the same time she would walk home. Someone in there used to make up an extra sandwich and put it on a certain place for her to find. This would occur at least two to three times a week. She continues by telling us that she was so grateful that there were caring people out there that knew she was starving hungry. She used to run as fast as she could to get to that spot every day, just in case they left something there for her to find. How can her own father let his own daughter suffer like this? What kind of man would allow this to happen to his own flesh and blood? Now I understand why she says she misses having a mother. I don’t think I would be able to get through one day without my mother. She continues to tell us that if she did not find the sandwich there, she used to run even faster to get home first. Knowing that there was no bread yet hoping there were some crusts in the drawer where they put it in. By the time she got home, she was totally exhausted. Even though she could hardly breathe, she rushed over to the bread drawer, hoping there would be just one old hard piece of bread. Scratching right at the back she would find rock hard crusts. The only thing that they had to put on was jam. She smeared jam on the crusts and got herself a glass of water. She used to dunk the crusts in the water to soften them and then eat it like that. She says it use to taste like pudding to her… vanilla cake with a jam filling. “Here you go ladies, this is for all of us to enjoy.” Suné said as she put all the sweets and chips and cold drink on the table. This was truly a feast. I can imagine eating it all tonight, but then again, there is no stopping us tonight. My father is not home so we can enjoy every last bit of it. I love sweet things but Abby, on the other hand, would rather go for the salty things.
Suné runs to her room and turns the volume of her hi-fi up. We all got up and danced like hooligans, jumping up and down, swinging our hips from side to side and just enjoying ourselves. I must admit, it was really fun when my father went out. We could be free… be who we really are… bring out our personalities and just love being with one another. I grabbed Abby’s hand and we did our own little rock ‘n roll dance. My mother laughed and then grabbed Suné to dance with her. They always dance well together. My mother is really a good dancer. She taught us some ballroom dancing moves and then the cha-cha and not to mention the rock ‘n roll. “Oh Elvis was my hero in my younger days” she shouted to be heard above the blaring music. One song after the next, one dance after the other is what we did until eleven o’clock that evening. The music was turned down a bit and Abby’s eyes were red. This time it was red because she was tired and not because she cried it like that. She is so beautiful, so pretty but yet she is hurting tremendously. I know her little heart is broken, I know she feels lost… I know because I was there not so long ago. I got up to go sit by her. I let her put her head on my lap and I played with her flowy hair as she fell asleep. Looking down at her, I can only see perfection. A perfect little button nose that she rubbed vigorously when she was tired. She has high cheekbones that I admire especially when she smiles. I love her rosy colour lips that hardly move when we are at home, due to the fear trapped inside her. Her long eye lashes compliment her dark brown eyes as it curls right at the end. I think she is a very pretty eight year old with natural beauty and perfect features.