Chapter Twenty-Three

There Is Freedom In Divorce

When I started writing this book, I really felt that it’s sole purpose was to help those who have been through childhood sexual abuse, but that is not the only purpose. God has shown me through writing this book that my purpose is also to tell Christians who have gone through a divorce or are contemplating one, that there is freedom. I don’t know if this is happening or has happened to you, but I was shunned by Christians when I separated from James. It has been a very tough road, but the Lord has been with me all the way. He never left me once through this traumatic experience. So many people said that God hates divorce, and, yes, He does. As written in The Living Bible Paraphrased Edition in Malachi 2:16, the scripture says, “For the Lord, the God of Israel, says He hates divorce and cruel men”. Now cruelty can be physical or emotional. Abuse is abuse and it destroys no matter how you look at it.

I’m not here to condone divorce. It is a very serious decision, but if it is prayerfully done, good can come out of it. Seek counseling in how to balance the everyday life for you and your kids. If you feel that you have no other choice and you’ve done all that the Lord requires, if your finances are tight, then you may want to seek a Pro Se Divorce. It is a complicated, time intensive process requiring commitment and attention to schedules and details. There are many books and clinics to help you along the way. You can get a video at the library called “A Guide To Pro Se Divorce.” You must be diligent in seeking out your own answers and ask God for help. Keep in mind, this is your divorce, and you are responsible for making it happen with His help. If you let anything slip through your fingers, you won’t be able to experience the freedom you deserve. But if you do all that’s required, you, too, can have your prison gates broken and experience freedom in divorce.

After all that I have been through, my prayer is that this book will aid you in your healing process. Remember, if you have been freed and your prison gates are opened, it’s because the Lord has opened them for you. There is no reason to feel guilty! You and I have been given the gift of leaving a destructive, dysfunctional and abusive marriage. Even though nobody else sees the scars, God does, and He honors our motives to do the best thing for our children and ourselves. So don’t allow the opinions of others to dictate your life like I did for so many years. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight,” Proverbs 3:5-6. May God bless you while you prayerfully move on!

To Be Continued…