Paradise lies at the feet of a mother.
One who is young shall not attain paradise if he neglects his parents when they are old.
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The best of you are those who are kindest to their families.
Be persistent in good actions.
Riches are not from abundance of worldly goods but from a contented mind.
Continuing with these thoughts, Islam teaches that:
Knowledge of God is my capital.
Reason is the root of my faith.
Love is my foundation.
Enthusiasm is my horse.
Remembrance of God is my friend.
Firmness is my treasure.
Sorrow is my companion.
Science is my weapon.
Patience is my mantle.
Contentment is my booty.
Poverty is my pride.
Devotion is my art.
Conviction is my power.
Truth is my Redeemer.
Obedience is my sufficiency.
Struggle is my manner.
My pleasure is in my prayers.
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If you follow the Hindu way of living, the Bhagavad-Gita and the Upanishads will be your ethical source.
“He who desires nothing but wisdom and spiritual insight, who has conquered his senses and who looks with the same eye upon a lump of earth, a stone or fine gold, is the real saint.
He who, wherever he goes, is attached to no person and to no place by ties of flesh; who accepts good and evil alike, neither welcoming the one nor shrinking from the other - take him to be one who is merged in the Infinite.
He who can withdraw his senses from attraction of their objects, as the tortoise draws his limbs within his shell - take it that such an one has attained Perfection.
He looks impartially on all - lover, friend, or foe; indifferent or hostile; alien or relative; virtuous or sinful.
But for him who regulates his food and recreation, who is balanced in action, in sleep and waking, it shall dispel all unhappiness.
When the mind, completely controlled, and centred in the self, and free from all earthly desires, then is the man truly spiritual.
The wise man who has conquered his mind and is absorbed in the self is as a lamp which does not flicker, since it stands sheltered from every wind.”
Of course, religion is only one spoke in the wheel. Ethical teachings are found in many other organizations.
The Freemasons
The teaching and charter of the Masonic Lodge is to convey moral lessons to their members. This is done in their temples by ritual that incorporates symbols and allegories, much of which has been passed down from ancient times. As with any symbolism the member is required to discover the lesson behind the symbol.
Once discovered, the freemason has an obligation to live by these principles.
These principals include:
‘Human Beings are creatures of God. God created each and every one of us.
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Because God is our common Father, all men are Brothers. Our common heritage
- as well as our common destiny - is infinitely more important than race, denomination, wealth, position, social status, or anything else in this world.
Faith is essential to us if we are to be truly free. Only the knowledge of the Eternal Deity in our personal lives can provide us with freedom of spirit.
Each person is entitled to personal dignity. No one, for any reason or under any pretext, has the right to compromise or diminish the dignity of another person.
Each man and woman is entitled to complete freedom of thought, religious belief, political expression, and speech. No person, government, or earthly spiritual authority has the right to dictate the thoughts or beliefs of another individual. No tyranny, no matter how benign, is ever acceptable under any circumstances.
It is the duty of every person to make the world better for others in every way he can. No man ever has the right to ‘pass by on the other side’. We are all in this together and, as such, we must seek to earnestly and honestly help each other every way we can.
It is the duty of every Freemason to develop himself, through study, thought, reflection, conversation, and by every means he can. Freemasons are committed to intellectual, spiritual, and emotional growth and to grow as ethical, caring, and compassionate men.
Each person has the responsibility to obey the law, and to seek change only through legal means. Only in this way can a humane and ordered society exist and survive.
Charity is an obligation on all Freemasons. Charity is not limited to simply giving money to worthy causes. Charity means involved compassion, honestly caring about what happens to others, putting ourselves in their place, and sharing in their sorrow or hurt.
There is no such thing as a ‘small’ or ‘unimportant’ act. Every action we take affects both others and ourselves. We never have the luxury of acting without thinking. A man is what he does and that is how Freemasonry judges each man.”
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Rotarians
The object of Rotary is to encourage and foster the ideal of service as a basis of worthy enterprise and, in particular, to encourage and foster: First. The development of acquaintance as an opportunity for service; Second. High ethical standards in business and professions, the recognition of the worthiness of all useful occupations, and the dignifying of each Rotarian’s occupation as an opportunity to serve society;
Third. The application of the ideal of service in each Rotarian’s personal, business, and community life;
Fourth. The advancement of international understanding, goodwill, and peace through a world fellowship of business and professional persons united in the ideal of service.
The four-way test is used by Rotarians to remind themselves of the obligation they have to themselves and other people.
Before acting they ask the following questions,
“Is it the truth?
Is it fair to all concerned?
Will it build goodwill and better relationships?
Will it be beneficial to all concerned?”
Of the examples I have used above, you will notice that there is an ethical thread that weaves itself into the fabric of these organizations. It is as if these principles have come from the same source.
To what extent you live by a code of ethics is your decision. The distance between creed and deed can be vast but one thing you can be sure of people who achieve great things always live by a code.
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Write Your Own Mission Statement
In recent years businesses and organizations have spent vast amounts of money designing mission statements. These statements express the core values of their organizations, what the business stands for, and how they will conduct their enterprise. It is like their code of ethics.
Maybe we need to think about writing our own personal mission statement. This mission statement would be about our values and belief system.
When designing your own mission statement, think deeply about the following questions.
What do I really stand for?
What are my core values?
What do I really believe in?
What do I live for?
What would I die for?
What is it that makes me unique to any other human being?
How do I feel about issues like integrity, honesty, virtue, etc.?
What is my real motivation for what I do in life?
What am I most enthusiastic about, and why?
How would your mission statement read after honestly thinking about these questions? Changes are required if there is a gap between your creed and deeds.
The Secret of Attracting Happiness
Due to the computer age, the word ‘compatible’ has taken on new meaning and importance. Unless the software is compatible with the hardware, no amount of trying or swearing will make it work. It is just not compatible. The Collins dictionary defines this word in the following manner:
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“Capable of living together harmoniously or getting along well together; in agreement; consistent; that can be used together.”
It is an obvious fact that in the physical world certain things are incompatible. A few examples will suffice. You cannot mix water with gasoline and expect the engine to run. Even a few grains of sand in a camera will prevent it from taking pictures. You cannot see properly with a speck of dust in your eye. The list is endless.
We all want to be happy. Happiness is a by-product of correct action. In our search for happiness we try all kinds of things. Many of these things cannot produce happiness. There are thoughts and actions that are not compatible with happiness no matter how hard we might try to convince ourselves to the contrary.
We may even experience pleasure but this is not necessarily happiness. Many of us can spend years deceiving ourselves in the belief that particular actions will create happiness.
In our quiet moments when we are alone, when we have nobody we are trying to impress, with all façades, appearances and walls removed, we cannot help but conclude that it is our value systems that produce happiness or unhappiness. It is the way we feel deep down inside about ourselves that produces happiness.
You cannot feel happiness when you are cheating on your spouse, spending more money than you earn, stealing from your employer.
You will not find happiness in taking advantage of another person. You may think it is clever or funny to do these things. In some cases it may help you to get ahead financially. But if you think it produces happiness you are mistaken. It may produce a substitute for happiness but never the real thing.
You cannot steal another person’s money or possessions and expect this action to produce happiness. You might object to this conclusion by saying that the stolen apple is always sweeter. However this is an illusion, a genuine imitation of happiness. Likewise you cannot take from another person their self-respect or self-esteem and expect happiness in return. These thoughts and actions are incompatible with the law of happiness. This is an immutable or unalterable law.
We cannot change it no matter how hard we try. We cannot even break it. We simply break ourselves against it.
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The Result of Ethical Living
If, at the end of the day, you cannot feel good about yourself, it is impossible to feel happy. Happiness is the result of ethical living. Every action has a consequence. We are free to choose our actions, however, we are not free to choose the consequences.
This may seem self-evident. But many of us repeat the same action for years expecting a different result, which seems to be the definition of insanity. I suppose in this regard we are all crazy.
To produce a different result we must choose a different action: Instead of taking, give.
Instead of lying, tell the truth.
Instead of being dishonest, be honest.
Instead of wanting to be served, serve.
Instead of doing the bare minimum, do extra.
Instead of being self-centred make someone else the centre of your life.
Instead of being late, be early.
Instead of wanting compliments, give compliments.
Instead of criticising others, give them praise.
Instead of being unkind, be kind.
Instead of being ungrateful, be grateful.
Instead of being racist, love all of humanity.
Instead of taking credit, give credit.
Instead of wanting happiness, give happiness.
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By doing these things we will attract happiness because we will be attractive. A wise man once said, “The difficulty in life is not getting people to do the things they cannot do. It is getting them to do the things they can do.” The banquet table of happiness beckons our attendance. I will meet you there.
When it comes to happiness we can all be happy. The 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso expressed it this way:
“We should try never to let our happy frame of mind be disturbed. Whether we are suffering at present or have suffered in the past, there is no reason to be unhappy. If we can remedy it, why be unhappy? And if we cannot, what use is there in being depressed about it? That just adds more unhappiness and does no good at all.”
Of course, there are some issues in life over which you have no control, but you do have control over how you react to those issues.
As Rollo May has written:
“Through his power to survey his life, man can transcend the immediate events which determine him. Whether he has tuberculosis or is a slave like the Roman philosopher Epictetus, or a prisoner condemned to death, he can still in his freedom, choose how he will relate to these facts, and how he relates to a merciless realistic fact like death can be more important for him than the fact of death itself.”
Honesty is Still the Best Policy
It has been said, “For every twenty people who believe in honesty, there is one honest person.” Honesty and integrity are the foundations of life. You not only have to be honest to those around you but you have to be honest with yourself.
William Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true and it shall follow the night as the day that thou cannot be false to any other person.”
Relationships are built upon honesty and destroyed with dishonesty. You are the best judge of your own behavior. You know better than anyone else why you act in a certain manner, what is in your heart, and what your motives are. Therefore, if you act in a way that is outside of your code of ethics you are the first to know
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- others may never know, but you will always know. In the inner courtroom of your mind you will have convicted yourself. You are the judge and jury. There is no escape from the self.
You may fool others about your integrity but you cannot fool yourself. If you act contrary to your value system then you are undermining yourself. You have devalued your sense of self-worth. This is never a good feeling.
In the real sense of the word you cannot be honest by degree. It is all or nothing.
Can you be honest even though you are a little dishonest? Can you be punctual by being only five minutes late? Can you be truthful by telling the occasional untruth?
We can always justify our actions by degree. We say it is better to use our employer’s telephone and not pay for it than to rob a bank. It is better to be five minutes late than one hour late. You may conclude that your integrity is intact except for some small things. Small things have a cumulative effect. A feather is not heavy, but a ton of feathers falling on top of you would kill you.
When we justify our actions by degree, integrity becomes a casualty. It has been said that if you are going to be dishonest you better have a good memory because sooner or later you will eventually be caught out.
A man was coming home late one evening from work and stopped at the local fish and chip shop to buy a lobster. As it was closing time the shopkeeper only had one lobster left.
The man said, “I would like to buy a lobster,” so the shopkeeper brought one out from under the counter and said, “This one is a nice lobster”. The man then said,
“It is a little big do you have anything smaller?” The shopkeeper said, “I sure do”.
He put the lobster back under the counter, brought out the same lobster again, and said, “There you are sir. This one is smaller”. With that the man replied, “Oh good, I’ll take the two of them”.
When we choose to do some thing dishonest sooner or later trouble will come from it.
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There is a story told of a man who was hiking in the snow-covered mountains.
Embedded in the snow he saw a snake. The snake said to him, “I am freezing to death. Will you take me down to the warmer regions?” The man lifted up the snake and carried it down into the warmer area. The snake thawed out and bit the man. The man said to the snake, “Why did you do that even after I saved your life?” The snake said, “You knew when you picked me up I would be trouble.”
No matter what accolades we might receive from the world or from our peers, if we are not honest with ourselves then we are not at peace and suffer with disease. No one else may know, except you!
The author Edgar A. Guest penned it this way:
“I have to live with myself, and so I want to be fit for myself to know I want to be able, as days go by, always to look myself straight in the eye I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun, and hate myself for the things I’ve done
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf, a lot of secrets about myself, and fool myself as I come and go, into thinking that no one else will know the kind of man that I really am
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham
I want to go out with my head erect, I want to deserve all men’s respect, but here in the struggle of fame and pelf, I want to be able to like myself I don’t want to look at myself and know that I’m bluster and bluff and empty show
I never can hide myself from me
I see what others may never see
I know what others may never know
I never can fool myself and so, whatever happens, I want to be self-respecting and conscience free.”
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Trust, The Twin Brother of Honesty
It is better to be trusted than to be loved. There are those whom we love and yet do not trust. There are reasons why we do not trust people. Trust cannot be developed when people say one thing and do another. Trust must be earned before it can be given.
If employers’ words do not match their deeds, then employees will distrust them.
Followers do not trust their leaders when they see their leaders serving themselves through their followers.
Children do not trust their parents because they have had years to observe their behavior. They are told to do one thing while their parents do something different.
The best way to receive a person’s trust is not by saying ‘trust me’. It is by being honest. The best way of teaching honesty is by example. Our actions will always speak louder than our words.
The Wooden Bowl
The story is told of a little boy who loved his grandparents. His grandmother died and so his grandfather was invited to come and live with his family.
There was to be an important dinner party held at the home. Special guests were invited. The little boy’s mother prepared the dining room table by placing upon it a beautiful tablecloth, her Royal Dalton crockery, and silver cutlery.
It was a wonderful evening until grandfather had finished eating. As he got up to leave the table he stumbled. In an attempt to stop himself from falling he reached for the table but grabbed the tablecloth instead. A number of dishes fell off the table and smashed onto the floor.
The little boy’s mother was not very happy about this but she contained her anger until after the last guests had left. She then said to her husband, “Your father will not eat with us at the dining table again. I cannot afford to have all of my best dishes broken by him. Tomorrow I will go to the store and buy him a wooden bowl. He can eat his food in the kitchen from the wooden bowl.”
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It was not long before grandfather died. When the family returned from the funeral the little boy took his grandfather’s wooden bowl and started up the stairs to the attic. His mother said to him, “What are you going to do with the wooden bowl? Grandfather is no longer with us. There is no need to keep his wooden bowl.” The little boy then responded, “No, mother. I’m putting it into the attic so that when you are old I can take it out and give it to you.”
People may question what you say but they will never question what you do. As you throw a stone into a pond there is a series of ripples that continue out from the center. So it is with our actions. If you practice honesty you never know what effect your example will have on another person’s life.
Ulterior Motives
Honest people do not play games nor do they have ulterior motives for doing things. They do the right thing for the right reason. Life is far less complicated when you practice honesty.
With the chaos that is experienced in the Middle East there is little time for niceties. Women play a role, in many cases subservient to men, therefore, it is somewhat unusual to find a man being a gentleman to a woman.
On one occasion my wife, another man and I reached the main doors of the Jerusalem post office at the same time. It was obvious that the three of us could not fit through the door. The gentleman with one hand holding me back, put forth his other hand in a gesture and said, “Ladies first”. My wife then proceeded to walk through the door into the post office at which point he then whispered in my ear, “If a bomb goes off she’ll cop it first.”
This of course was a humorous event and we all laughed. However, the story does depict we can do things having an ulterior motive. We do things so that they will appear a certain way but behind the action is some other reason for doing them.
William Shakespeare said, “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”
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Chapter Summary
Major points to think about
What is the source of those things that I think about and act upon?
Does money play an exaggerated role in my life?
Do I live by a code of ethics? What am I prepared to die for? What am I prepared to live for?
Are there any walls and fences in my life?
How would my mission statement read?
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