Everyone has a different way in which they perceive the world and navigate
through that world using their MAP. The Meta Model was created to distinguish
between the different ways we tend to filter our world through the information
that is introduced to us, and subsequently we end up throwing away (or deleting)
most of the information that comes our way because it doesn’t tend to fit our
beliefs, expectations values and previous experiences. Virginia Satir had
developed a way of having people dig into their distortions and generalizations
(problems) and by doing so, Bandler and Grindler noticed that people’s problems
would mostly just disappear. This is the main key to the Meta Model.
You’ll notice that in NLP you’ll never notice anyone ask the question “Why”
because it forces the person to delve into the content and story behind the
problem, which isn’t necessary when creating change. Although traditional
therapy tends to like getting into all of the whys, NLP generally tends to avoid it completely. Instead, when using the Meta Model we will begin with words such
as “how”, “who”, “when”, “what”, because these questions tend to engage in the
root of the problem and how it’s put together in the person’s mind, rather than
bringing up unnecessary stories. Once we’ve discovered the root or structure of
someone’s particular problem, it is a lot easier to allow the problem to dissolve.
The Meta Model is based upon listening and asking questions, the appropriate
response is determined based upon the answer you receive from the other
person, and in many cases you can actually predict the response based upon the
type of question you ask. Here is a list of various language patterns, responses
and subsequent predictions when using the Meta Model.
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Distortions: Cause and Effect
Pattern… Many times people will mismatch an effect with a cause. Meaning, the cause that they think created the effect is not actually the true cause at all, but something entirely different. People will often use this cause and effect pattern to place the blame (or cause) onto someone or something other than them, instead
of taking personal responsibility. Some really common phrases you’ve probably
heard before are, “It was all her fault” or “She made me feel upset”.
Response… What we want to do when working with the cause and effect pattern is to ask a question that will help to uncover the true cause of the person’s
problem, rather than the one they are blaming it on (which is usually on things
outside of themselves). We really want to find out what the root cause for their
thinking this way is, and we can do that by asking questions such as, “How would
it being her fault make any difference to how you responded?” And “How does
she have anything to do with you feeling upset?” Typically a response to a cause
and effect statement will begin with how.
Outcome… Once this person has discovered more clues as to the root of their problem, they will usually loosen up a little bit on the thought, and gain more of an understanding of how they actually created the structure of the problem. In
most cases, one question won’t be enough to completely solve the problem and
so additional Meta Model questions will need to be asked.