Boost Your Body Image with NLP by Nick Ritchie - HTML preview

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Anchoring

Anchoring is a term coined in the NLP world, which really just describes the

process that we go through when something triggers a response within us. It’s

almost as if something from our environment (internal or external) triggers a

particular feeling, image, sound or taste within us that we experience in that

moment.

Like the example I gave earlier of when you’ve been driving down the road and

the radio comes on playing a particular song and instantly you’re sent into a

different reality, one where you begin reminiscing of the time when you were

listening to that song in a different space or time. Perhaps the hearing of the song instantly takes you back to when you were having a pillow fight with an ex-lover

while a storm was crashing outside the house all around you, and you ended up

being cuddled up next to the warm fireplace under a large fluffy rug… Or maybe it takes you to a time when you were a little child, listening to your mother sing

along to that song, and you remember the feeling inside as you felt that familiar feeling of love and connection with her. I remember as a child watching my

mother scream as she saw a spider run across the floor, and instantly I found

myself feeling that same way whenever I saw a spider as a young boy. These

triggers from outside ourselves, have caused a specific response within us called an anchor.

The same goes for creating anchors around body-image. As a young boy I

remember one day standing in the hallway as my younger brother and I waited

for our mother to get ready so we could go out to the park. I peeked my head

around the door into her room to see her standing in front of a mirror staring at herself in a way I had never seen before as I heard the word “yuck” leave her

mouth. She had turned around and was looking at the way her behind fitted in a

pair of jeans, and as she become frustrated at what she saw in the mirror she

quickly moved to the cupboard and pulled out a pair of track pants. In that one

single moment, a new anchor was created in me. How? Children ‘model’ both the

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positive and negative traits of their parents (more on modeling later), and as a by-product of modeling my mother, I found myself a few years later staring in front

of a mirror (triggering an anchor) screaming thoughts of hate at myself.

Anchors are everywhere in our reality, and once we are aware of this fact, we can begin to take action and build the responses we want, rather than the ones we

don’t. There are anchors everywhere that makes us feel good, and ones that

make us feel bad. If you’re struggling with body-image right now, then perhaps

the mirror is an anchor for you, in that every time you see a mirror you feel the compulsion to look at yourself and then send negative thoughts at that face

staring back at you. Sometimes we have anchors that are so strong that they

over-ride some of our other senses. Imagine seeing someone who you strongly

don’t like, and then think of them saying something positive towards you.

Chances are you may not even hear what they are saying, because the negative

emotional response you feel totally negates anything they are saying – positive or negative. Anchors are powerful and can totally remove logic from the entire

thinking process.

The great thing about anchors is that they can also create some very powerful

empowering responses within us, such as when you hear a certain song play, you

feel love, happiness and excitement. Now imagine that there’s a certain person at work that you aren’t getting along with, and maybe you’re even intimidated by

them. Well, if you were to put that empowering song on and put yourself in that

excited state, and then picture that person in your mind, over time you may even

just find that when you see that person, you no longer experience that same

strong negative emotion. In fact, you may even find that the negative feelings are completely gone, and have been replaced by positive ones.

What about if whenever you put your clothing on, you found yourself feeling or

picturing yourself in a certain way? Perhaps you heard a voice in your head say

negative things about the way you fit in those clothes, you felt a nauseous feeling in your stomach, or saw yourself as twice the size that you actually are. Your

logical brain knows the truth, but your emotional brain is warping your

perspective (the way you see, feel and hear yourself), and so next is to change

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those associated anchors. What happens before you feel, hear or see those

negative thoughts?

Now take something that you really love doing that puts you in a really great

state, such as listening to a particular song or looking at a particular image. Create a really strong feeling inside by turning up the dial on it, visualize a virtual

pressure dial, and as you turn that dial up, you feel that feeling increase more and more. Push that dial all the way around until you’ve reached the peak of that

strong empowered feeling state, and then begin putting your clothing on, while

holding onto that state. What you’ll find is that when done enough times

repeatedly, the old disempowering anchors will dissolve and be replaced by the

newer empowering anchors - Anytime that you’re in a particularly high state,

where a specific type of stimulus is applied, at the peak of that state, an anchor will be created.

When creating an anchor, there are key components that will dramatically

improve its effectiveness for future use…

Intensity… How strong is the state that you’re in (or associate feeling, sound, image etc.)? The higher the intensity, the stronger the anchor.

Uniqueness… How unique is the anchor? Does it involve you touching your thumb and forefinger together while in a specific state? The more unique the easier it is to recall.

Replication… How often are you repeating this same anchor in order to

strengthen its effectiveness? If looking in the mirror creates a response, each time you look in the mirror in that same state of feeling, you strengthen the response.

Number… How many times have you repeated this anchor? The higher the

number, the more effective the anchor.

Timing… When will you trigger the anchor, and in which state will you trigger it in?

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When creating an anchor in yourself or others, these are the components to make

it happen most effectively.

To create a very powerful anchor, one of the most important components is

timing. You want to use your sensory acuity to gauge when you, or another

person is reaching the peak of their state, and right at that peak moment you

want to trigger the anchor.

For example, you can create a simple anchor that you can use every day just by

touching your shoulder. Early on in my development, I started working with my

Personal Training clients on developing positive anchors during their sessions with me. In some cases, I would simply ask my client to envision what they most

wanted to achieve, and to think about how good it would feel, look and sound to

them once they had achieved that goal. I told them to hold that feeling, image or sound in their mind for as long as they could during their session, and if I noticed them slipping in motivation, I would divert their attention back to what they

wanted to achieve, how they wanted to feel, what they wanted to see, what they

heard… And there would be an instant shift in their physiology that was easily

noticeable from a distance, and not to mention in their performance! When I

wanted to create a very specific response, I would have them put themselves in a

peak state of feeling totally energized and motivated, and at the peak of that

state, I would have them press their thumb and forefinger together. After enough

times of repeating this process, they found that whenever they wanted to feel

totally energized and motivated, all they would have to do is press their thumb

and forefinger together.

Like with all of what I’ve shared with you so far, you’re ability to build a strong anchor with another person is directly linked to your ability to gain a high level of rapport with them.

How about we package all of what we’ve learned so far about anchors into one

neat bundle that you can use quickly and easily with yourself or others? Well,

here’s the basic template to follow when you’re wanting to do that:

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[1] Find a Subject: Seek out a suitable test-buddy. This could be a close-friend of family member.

[2] Pace & Lead: Engage in pacing and leading and build rapport with that person.

[3] Locate Anchor Point: Gain their permission to touch them on the knee during this process. (You can chose anywhere you like to create the anchor, however the knee for most people is pretty unobtrusive. You could try that, or the elbow or

something like that.)

[3] Find a Strong Emotion: Allow that person to reach in and find a time in their past that created a really strong emotion for them, such as feeling totally

confident. (You could use this script to help engage those emotions in them, “Can you think of a time when you were totally confident? [Wait for the yes] Can you

think of a really specific time that stands out to you? [Wait for yes] As you think of that time now, think about how that felt, think of how that looked and think of

how it sounded, and really feel those feelings of feeling totally confident…”)

[4] Timing & Anchor: As they remember that time and experience it, use your sensory acuity to gauge how strong they are engaging in the state of being totally confident. It may take them longer or they may get to the peak of the state within a short moment. Simply notice where they are on the scale and as their

experience becomes stronger start to press firmly on their knee. This doesn’t have to be really hard, just enough pressure for them to feel it.

[5] Remove Touch: As they begin to lower away from their peak state, remove your touch from their knee.

[6] Break State: Now ask them something totally unrelated to break their state such as, “Do you smell popcorn?” This will cause them to search within and

quickly pull them out of the previous state. You can use any funny questions you

like such as, “Monkeys eat bananas, right?”

[7] Test Anchor: Next up is you’re going to test the anchor to see whether you’ve successfully created a new response to that particular trigger (the touching of the knee). Return them back to a normal balanced state, and then press their knee

without saying anything and use sensory acuity to notice any changes that may

occur. They may even verbally tell you they instantly feel different when you

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press their knee. Congratulations you’ve just created your first NLP anchor with

someone! If they didn’t have a very strong response, repeat steps 1-6 several

times, and then test again. Remember, the more times you repeat the anchor, the

stronger it gets.

So that’s the basics of NLP anchoring, and although there is so much more that

you can do with it, this is a really good place to start. Find yourself a willing and curious volunteer, and get started with creating anchors! You can even create

some really cool ones, like whenever you press on your knuckles you’re instantly

pulled into a deep state of bliss. If you can imagine it, you can create it.

Over time you’ll become more and more familiar with anchoring, and you’ll find

that you’ll be able to add anchor on top of anchor, and also over-ride anchors

with ease. As always, practice makes perfect.

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