I know you have self esteem issues, you have difficulty seeing yourself as worthy of admiration...
Well, when are you gonna stop for a minute and realize that you, yourself are also a part of God's
beauty, the same beauty you see in Nature and in the Universe ? When are you gonna look in the
mirror and challenge the old ideas about yourself ? Damn, there is nothing wrong with you, you are
cute, sexy, charming... can't you see that ?? Can't you celebrate for once the beauty in you that was
created by the Source of all Power and Creation? You see, you really don't have to do anything,
because it’s all there already, you really just have to be able to see it and be willing to look at it,
that's all. Honey, celebrate the divinity that there is within you and outside you aswell. You, like
me and all the others are a product of His creation, and in His eyes, you are perfection.
Honey... God never ever gets tired of prayers of love, praise and gratitude. God is there for us for
the good times and the bad times too... so... what's wrong with sharing our love, joy and gratitude
with our Creator ? Be grateful, be always grateful, out of gratitude grows grace and appreciation
for life. Out of gratitude and love, praise and joy, you are only sowing the seeds to take your
bounty of even greater love and joy in your life and others' lives too. When you bless a situation,
people or a place, that blessing returns to you, sometimes multiplied by 10 or more ! So honey, this
is the way to be and live life.
Now my dear, we have much to talk about, because to be a healer means a lot more than just
healing people... The greatest gift you can give to people and the world is your own energy
manifested as love, it does not matter how you manifest that love, whether it is in sincere prayer, or
in an email note, or in casual conversation with someone. In fact, that is the most powerful
teaching that Jesus brought to us - to love and manifest love.
Yes, this is also - inspiration, meaning you have the potential to inspire people with your actions
and words and reap rewards. You shall reap what you sow. Yes, I know, you inspire because of the
person you are, but you see, here is the great irony of life - you are broke and struggle in life in
many levels and have got very little self esteem (you probably even wonder why should you even
receive compliments from other people, because to you it is easier to give then it is to receive).
You can inspire and teach others mainly by example... But I still have the feeling that you are only
blossoming. I see a lot of potential in you, it’s all blossoming now if you allow it to bloom very
slowly, with patience and kindness. Nurture who you are and be gentle with yourself. I still
wonder what's going to be like to see you in 5 years time with all these changes and wild things
happening in your life nearly every week. I think you are awakening from a deep sleep…
I wish you love and joy.
15
WHY ME??
Some time ago, a dear friend of mine that is going through the “awakening”, asked me these
questions:
“The images and dreams are relating to pretty powerful stuff, it's a bit overwhelming. Really!! I am
normally very quiet, I wouldn't class myself as being highly intelligent, and I have never really
paid much attention to all things spiritual. I live an honest life.
Can I ask you, what do you think of this?
I can see connections and understand what I read (dreams, signs, premonitions, automatic writing,
etc.).What I don't get is, why me?? I don't have great self believe, I am getting these highly
spiritual messages and feel so humbled but at the same time -Am I worth it?? Do you know what I
mean??”
So I responded to her with the following message:
Beloved friend,
So, you think you have got to be "special" to see these things ? Why you ? Why me then ?? I did pornography, worked as a prostitute, hated and cursed at God, and denied Him too many times...
Why me ?! Well, here is the thing my dear friend:
- No matter what I did, no matter what I said, God knows my heart, my core, my soul. No matter
what I do, He knows and has always known the little girl in me, that loved Him and used to find
love and safety in Him, the little girl that used to pray to Him and ask Him to keep me away from
the horrific nightmares I had as a child. He knows and remembers the little girl that looked for His
love and peace in a tormented family environment. God knows and still sees the little girl in me,
that deep inside still loves Him and craves His love.
This is His majestic beauty: whenever He reached out to me, He touched my heart in such a way,
that I have no choice but to very slowly accept Him and welcome Him into my life. Difficulties
and depression, mistakes and cruelty drawn me closer to Him, because my heart knew and have
always known that He would always stand by me, always without exception. People come and go,
but God is always there, always present.
”Why me ?” – you ask. God awakens people like us because He wants to show to the World that
ANYONE can believe in Him, take a different path, that He loves all of us equally and
unconditionally. He wants to dispel the myths around age, colour, religion, groups, job choice, life
styles... He wants to show the power of His love and what it means, what love really means. So, do
you still feel unworthy of His love ? We are not specially chosen people, we are just normal people
that choose to believe, that is all. God has called me many, many times throughout the years, in
music, books, movies, random strangers and situations... They say that – “God is silent and distant”
- those people must be deaf and blind because I know that He has been nudging me for years and
16
years and years... But He does that to all of us, no exceptions! He "speaks" to all of us, but who cares to "listen" ? You see, I went down the science path, but even when I went down that road, something in me could not help – when I was in my classes of Human Anatomy and Physiology, I
could see His beauty and majestic mastery when the lecturer explained what is a cell, what is an
Atom, what is a nerve impulse, etc...
The more I studied science, the more I went down walking in the woods, the more I walked down
the beach even in the middle of a gale, I could not help, because I could feel His presence, I could
not deny it ! The seed He had planted in my heart many years ago would grow, something in me
would glow with joy, emotion, love, tenderness and utter gratitude for the sheer beauty and genius
of all creation.
Even crazier, even when I was making love (I mean, MAKING LOVE, not f*cking, there is a big
difference between both), I could not help, because I could understand the breath taking beauty of
melding with the opposite sex and become one body, one soul, one being in pure love and joy !
That was when I understood that Sex was indeed a divine gift created by a Divine Being... and yes,
Sex is sacred, not the slapping of flesh that we have used and abused throughout the years through
media and magazines and so on...
For too many years I thought I was not worthy of His love, I felt too dirty, too impure, too
unworthy of His goodness and even felt bad about the thought of asking Him for help (even when I
was in deep sh!t). But here is the thing, He has always known that I felt that way, but He kept
dropping signs and messages to let me know that it is ok, the door is open, and He has always been
willing to welcome me. But you see, I have free will. He cannot impose His will on me, He can
only show me a path, or show me some sort of invitation.
One day, three years ago, I got this impulse in me, this burning desire to write down my soul's
wish, to give voice to my soul and let it speak up its will, and yes, my soul's will is to believe and
have faith in Him, and stop hiding behind skepticism, fear and doubt. That was what I wrote in the
form of a beautiful poem (MY HEART IS YOUR CATEDRAL). Well, I found that poem again
somewhere among my old files three years after, and guess what ? The “prophecy” (my poem) has
been fulfilled !
I never cared about religion, I still do not care.
And here is another thing for you to bare in mind, Enlightenment is for all of us ! Not just for a
few, it is for all of us !
17