Sharon here. Ivo and I have created this comprehensive list of the behaviours of energy vampires. You may be shocked to see this includes many ways we commonly interact in life. This is to show you that we live stealing energy from other people and they from us – how pervasive it is. We're all guilty of it but the good news is we can all stop it too. In doing so, you take back personal power and increase your Light quotient.
Life is an energy exchange. All of life is energy. Some of it is slow enough so you perceive it as solid, but it's still energy.
I've been referring to energy exchanges between people, cords and cording. You've been doing cord cutting meditations. But why? To disconnect your energy from others who either you've connected with in love and given it to (these cords often remain) or to cut yourself off from energy vampires who are stealing it from you.
We ALL have been energy vampires at some point in our life and unless we make a concerted effort to stop behaving in these ways, we're going to have a hard time finding our Light and ascending. That's why people who are soul-based become authentic expressions of their true selves – because they don't engage in these negative ego behaviours. The key is to become aware of it and to just stop it. Don't engage in behaviours that steal energy from others. And don't let others steal it from you. It's your life force. If enough were taken from you, you could die although to my knowledge this isn't that common, thank God.
When you come across someone engaging in any of the behaviours I've listed below (and I may have missed some), the only thing to do is to shield up and IGNORE the vampire. When you react, you've given them your energy. You've picked up the phone. You've made the connection. You've answered their call. And their call is for energy booty.
Energy vampires can appear sweet and nice, or dark and sinister, raging or sublime.... but they have an often unconscious agenda many don't even realize they're carrying out. Some do. Some are aware and make a game of stealing others' energy. This is why it's important to examine your behaviour, become aware of where it's off course and to correct it. Most of us live life unconsciously, dealing with others the way we learned to when we were kids!! We're not children at 30 or 40 and our behaviour should reflect our maturity!
We here on 4D earth are influenced by the dark. We are its food source. Unless we act negatively, the dark will starve. Rick Jewers (Jesus' incarnation) explains here:
“What has been depicted through this current/past attack, is much value in how the darkness works, and how it is able to control One, to do its bidding, of which its bidding is, to create food for it, and of which its main diet is, fear and negativity. Darkness works in way to separate, a dark thread will begin from a SINGLE SOURCE that is WEAK IN THE WAY THAT DARKNESS/NEGATIVITY resides in that One YET, that has not been cleared and sets the perfect stage for the One to be controlled and to create the conception point for a feeding thread/frenzy. Darkness works with the mind in such a way that it will distort the thought process, cloud the perception, and replace the Ones perception with a darker perception, it is through energy that it does this, HOWEVER, DARKNESS CANNOT CREATE ITS OWN ENERGY, IT NEEDS A NEGATIVE COMPONENT WITHIN YOUR ENERGETIC FIELD FIRST, TO POLARIZE YOUR ENERGY TO EVEN A MORE NEGATIVE STATE, then it feeds. The more the darkness feeds, the bigger it could grow, consuming and attaching to Others, that have a bit of negativity or darkness, still within. The darkness sometimes does not need for You to be in a negative energetic state to a large degree, to begin to administer control over You. If You are even susceptible to being "pissed off", it opens a door for darkness to infect and fester. Darkness enjoys hate, hurt, blame, anger, competition, etc, because it is what grows food for it.”
The food that is created is called “Loosh” but just understand that your negativity is being used to create negative reactions in yourself and others, to create this loosh. That's where the energy vampire comes in, who exchanges your light energy for their negativity, thereby lowering your vibrational frequency to a level that the dark can continue to feed off of you. Does it sound gross? Yes. You have parasites in your intestines as well. So why not feeding off of your non-physical energy? I've seen them. They're there.
You are prompted to vamp energy off of other people all the time. In fact, the entire way our society interrelates has been created to facilitate this process of stealing energy from one another. We are discouraged from being assertive, we don't respect others' boundaries, we lie to each other... all of the negative ways we interact are ways to vampire energy. Do you need the list? Okay. I'll do the whole list. If you have EVER behaved in any of these ways, you have stolen the energy of someone else who was vibing higher. The victim is often someone of high energy who suffers having it stolen all the time. My family of origin taught me to be receptive to energy vampires because they sensed I was high energy and stole it from me.
Refusing to behave in these ways leads to increasing one's Light, ascension, growing up, becoming more mature, becoming more responsible to self and others, and living your Truth. If these don't sound like worthwhile goals, I don't know what would be.
Any attacking behaviour that is intended to put someone else on the defensive starts off this list.
Any of these behaviours can be considered energy vampiring:
arguing (two vampires going at it with the intention of winning, which means one vampire has gleaned more energy than the other – the “winner” is the one who comes out with the most energy. I don't argue. I have too much to lose. Anyone who goes into a conversation with the intention of making you the loser is a vampire! This is far more common than you think! Our egos are trained to want to be right. Nobody wants to admit we're wrong but it's humble to do so and a sign that you are interested in growth. There's no harm in being wrong but there is harm in wanting to make someone out to be wrong so kick these vampires to the curb! And if you're doing it, stop doing it!)
giving someone advice without their asking (doesn't it make you wonder why their focus is suddenly on you when selfish people only focus on themselves? It's because they're throwing out the bait to hook you into giving up your energy. How often do people do nice things for absolute strangers? Why are they so focused on you now?)
as above, anyone who is focused on fixing you (this can be just a nice move that is well intentioned but poor boundaried, or it can be done to take the superior stance and make a victim of you. To determine which, you would sense benevolent loving energy coming from them if it's the former, however EVERYTHING done to you requires your permission. Take your power back!)
raging at someone (the point is to put them on the defensive, which is the posture you need them to be in in order to vampire their energy)
manipulating: examples – broad hints that you want something from someone without asking for it directly (equates to taking their energy without your direct acknowledgement. For the person being approached for the favour, it is tantamount that you agree to do it. A manipulator tries to trick you into giving without your actually say yes to it and you may not even be willing to give. This vampire is taking your energy and possibly even your physical energy in the form of work done, a free ride, babysitting their kids, without your having agreed to it.)
bullying (controlling, which amounts to controlling their energy)
shaming (part of this is projection, which means you're swapping your low feelings about yourself for their high energy)
using guilt tactics to get what you want from them (“Oh, you're so mean! You never do anything nice for me!” - putting them on the defensive. I frankly, would never stand for this type of treatment).
Keeping you on the phone too long, won't stop talking (they are keeping your energy, your focus on them longer than you have agreed to. Whatever you focus on, you give energy to. Presumably you have been repeating, “I've got to go now,” as if often the case. It would not be a bad move to just hang up on them. Of course, instead of getting the message the vampire will call back and start an argument, trying to make you wrong for being impolite. This would be their second way of trying to get their supply of energy from you. Don't argue with them. Better yet, don't pick up the phone, and cut cords.)
Which is another point I need to make: so many of us have been taught to be “nice” which means a pushover that doesn't stand up for them self. Don't be nice. Be assertive.
Talking about themselves the whole time. Not letting you get a word in edgewise. (Again, your focus is on them for longer than you've agreed to allow it).
Which is a good point, EVERYTHING that is done to you requires your permission. Would you allow someone to rape you? No? Then why allow them to fix you, criticize you, shame you, guilt you without your permission? It's your life to live, no one else's. You didn't ask to have this done to you. They are doing it against your will and this is vampiring energy.
The book I'm reading brought up another point I need to make: many of us have learned to be helpless. Where did we learn that? In our society that teaches us non-assertive ways of living and to be the victim of the government. We see ourselves as valueless beings who schlep ourselves around for minimum wage, and then go home exhausted at the end of a long day of having to keep our mouths shut or get fired from our jobs. We are money victims. And because we have taken on these low vibrational roles, we also engage in low vibrational behaviour, such as what's on this list. Awareness changes this.
Anyone who takes the superior position in a discussion. This is someone who draws energy from others by taking the upper hand. That includes your boss, many of whom want to be a boss because they don't want to be in your shoes, the worker. We don't live in a hierarchical system that tells us that power is power over others, for nothing. Some of us want to be the “have's,” the beneficiaries in this fake control system. Those who believe that power is power over others are most guilty of being energy vampires. Those who believe that power means power over self are assertive, connected to source and don't have to vampire energy from others.
Narcissists
the entitled – they feel entitled to everything, which would mean everyone else as well. Engaging anyone with this position of superiority will set you back energetically because this person will do anything to prove they're right. Automatically, you'll be the fall guy. And because they are entitled and call you their friend, it's because they feel entitled to you and whatever assets you may have like your car for example. You will find yourself driving these people around like you're their free cab company. Believe me, I've been there. Let this person in the door and you'll pay for it, sometimes literally. This energy vampire, who often plays the victim, needs some tough love. Kick them to the curb and don't give in when they come back for more.
Making anyone wrong (this is a superior position that extracts energy from the one you've made wrong)
Nagging someone, bitching at someone (complaining) Again, getting you in the defensive posture.
Making fun of someone – hoping to put them on the defensive
attacking someone either emotionally or physically
calling someone names
gaslighting – any lie or deception is the direction of lower frequency energy at someone. Getting them to believe the lie lowers their frequency. If you want an example of that, just watch the news.
Playing the victim. Yes, this person, the adult version anyway, has grown up with seemingly no idea how to take proper care of them self. Emotionally, physically, financially, this person depends on others to do for them what they should be doing for themselves. If this isn't an energy vampire, I don't know what is. How do I know? I WAS one. People avoided me like the plague and now refuse to see me as recovered, but that I have no control over. That's on them.
The sex vampire: Spending every moment on the prowl for new sexual encounters, this vampire uses sex to garner your energy. Then leaves you on the curbside wondering where they went. Don't give in. Find someone who loves you. It's worth waiting.
Drama queens and kings – again, your focus is on them and they're using it for all its worth. Ignore these people. Starve them of your energy.
These are taken from “Liquid Mirror” by Kelly La Sha:
interrogators – invasive questioning or questioning with an underlying agenda
evasiveness
complaining
accusing
telling jokes that offend others
holding someone in conversation longer than they want to be held
silent treatment
neediness
blaming
making the other person wrong (see my arguing example, above)
trying to prove that you are right (again, like I was saying about the arguers)
starting an interesting story and pausing before the end
playing the martyr
anger
righteousness
expectations of others
control
hidden agenda
Leaking Energy (means you have leaky aura syndrome and have to heal it; there are books on this too)
attachments to people and material things
resistance
impatience
anger
frustration
complaining
worry
playing the martyr
perfectionism
shame
control
defending
Kelly La Sha writes: “Certain behaviours can be love-based or fear-based. It's up to you to discover when you are acting from your wounds or acting from your heart.” See these examples:
1 Bragging
fear based intention: “I don't want you to see how incapable and insecure I am, so I'm pointing out my strengths and accomplishments.”
love-based intention: “look at this exciting discovery I found about myself!”
2 Admiration
Fear based intention: “Why does he have everything! I want to be successful like him!”
Love-based intention: “I honour this awesome expression of Spirit, and I clearly see what I would like to manifest in my life as well!”
So you have to ascertain where your intention is coming from: the ego or the soul, whenever you speak. I can sense the difference in people: whether they're responding from ego or soul.
Look at how much time you're spending listening to others longer than you want to, look at people who are argumentative, look at the toxic behaviours you and others indulge in – the reason they're low frequency behaviours and most of us would like to think are beneath ourselves, is because they are behaviours that harvest energy for energy vampires. That's why they're so low vibrational. Make a point of shifting to higher frequency behaviour, which will happen automatically because you'll be coming from soul, not ego, by refusing to engage in any of the behaviours listed above.
Understand that keeping your focus on others' faults and not your own is an abdication of self responsibility, and self-empowerment and will keep you in your ego and continuing to vampire energy from others.
This is a long list and may appear overwhelming. I hope I've helped and there are things you realize you can stop already. Work on them slowly. Don't change overnight. The ego will kick up a fuss, expect it to resist and to try to trick you back into old behaviours. Don't let it.