PART III
FEMALE SEXUAL DISORDERS
LOSS OF LIBIDO IN WOMEN
Research shows that more women suffer from sexual disorders than their men counterpart does. In order to understand what actually is sexual disorder, we need first to understand what are the sexual symptoms in women that completes a cycle of having satisfactory sex:
First, desire to have sex or the phase of excitement that brings the women in a mood to have sex.
Then she is ready for the arousal stage by several physical and mental pleasures by her partner by the way of one or all five senses and by the words of mouth by her partner.
The women, when ready to have sex, will secrete fluid from her vagina. This fluid helps in having a pleasurable penetration and sex. The vagina expands while the clitoris, like men’s penis, expands too. Nipple may become hard and erect while, she may breathe faster and heavier.
After a satisfying sex, on reaching the climax she will have rhythmic vaginal muscle contractions, which causes a pleasurable sensation; a sign of satisfactory orgasm.
The last stage is relaxation of the entire body and mind. Natural feeling of sleepiness is present and it is best to sleep after a satisfying sex in order to rejuvenate the body and the mind.
Women, need to pass through all the above stages in progression in order to claim a successful sex and possess a sexually healthy body and mind. The stages could come sooner for someone while it may be delayed for another, but the stages must be present in every healthy body and mind. If, unfortunately, any of the above stages does not occur in her, she may be, in some way, suffering from sexual problem.
Sexual problem in women is very distressing, not only for her but for her partner too; it could even lead to a problem in the relationship. It is surprising about 40% of the women, both, married and unmarried and over 80% of married women suffer from mild to severe sexual problems. Lack of sexual desire, is the most prominent problem in women followed by difficulty in arousal and pain during intercourse.
As said in earlier chapters, man is a complex being and any sexual problem is therefore, equally complex and difficult to locate or zero in on. Generally, the loss of sex drive or desire in women are mostly mental than physical. Strained relationship, anxiety, loss of privacy, mental agony and depression, are all reasons for the lack of desire in a woman. This only temporary phenomenon may be cured with the passing of time and things getting better with her. However certain percentage of low sex drive remains permanent or almost tenacious, which are caused due to terminal diseases, ageing and exhaustion. Some diseases, illness, and circumstances may interfere with low sex drives in women, which also get cured with the passing of time. This will be discussed in later chapters.
The irony is, sexual dysfunctions in women are seldom reported, and a gradual loss of sexual desire and the onset of sexual problems are regarded as normal, especially if the women are a homemaker and bringing up children. Only amongst educated and affluent classes are treatment undertaken to cure the women of this illness.
Sexuality in women, as in men, is all about mental and physical intimacy and togetherness. Harmony between the partners can only bring out the true spirit of love and sex. Anything missing may jeopardize or create strained sexual relationship between the partners.
Each woman is different from another, the desire and stimulation may vary widely. By 30s and 40s, it is said, woman reaches her peak sexual responsiveness, by when she is more confident about herself and her body. However, this too is greatly influenced by other causes as explained above.
Sex is mostly in the mind unless there is a physical distress. Unless the woman talks to someone and seeks help or counseling, it will be difficult for her to get back to normal sex life. She also needs to understand that, sex life does not end after childbirth or after menopause. A woman needs to know that, she can enjoy sex throughout her life until old age, if she does not go through any disease, traumatic mental experience, strained marital relationship or any injury. A normal woman, active and with a healthy body and mind, will continue to enjoy sex and give pleasure to her partner too, even after she reaches menopause. This is why, it is important for any woman to live a healthy life, with healthy habits and thoughts, which pays in the end.