seven to eleveneleven percent of your
communication is carried out by the words
you choose to say!
Researches has shown that people derive
only about 7%7% of the meaning of a
conversation from the words the speaker
uses, about 38%38% is based on the tone of voice, and a whole 55%55% from the speaker's
body language!
This scheme is called by the public
relations experts: the "55/38/7 rule".
Yes,itisthatdramatic!tisthatdramatic!
It's not only (what you say) that counts, it's
(what your body is saying) during the
conversation much as well.
This is the difference between contentcontent and
content
context:
- The words and sentence construction
is content.
- How you say them and what you do
while you say them is context. The full contextcontext is everything - other than
the words - that can be seen and heard
“experienced” by every one involved, and
whilst the content is clearly vital for
communication to happen, the context can
have a really dramatic effect on the
message received.
Body language is only one part of that
context, other parts are:
- Where you sit or stand; how near or far
from your speaker?
- Who else is in the room?
- Time of the day, week, year.
- History of previous communication.
So when you meet someone for the first
time, every thing you do is actually
forming a part of that history; which will
affect every communication between you
two in the future.
That's how important first impressions
could be.
Body language is a major component of the
context and it can be divided roughly into
three parts:
three parts:
The stuff you can do nothing about:
your gender, race, age, height, etc. your gender, race, age, height, etc. The stuff you can, with effort,
change: the way you dress, your hair,
weight, etc.
weight, etc.
The stuff that you can chose to use
like: gestures, the way you stand, eye
contact; duration and intensity, tone
of voice, facial expressions, etc.
The most powerful of these is eye contact
as we will explain later.
There is no credible way of learning new
body language gestures, as they always
seem artificial or bolted on. The way to
approach modifying your body language is to think of it as a "style"; when you think of
your cloths, your accent and your gestures
as your style, you can begin to deploy
them at will.
In other words you can begin to choose to
turn parts of your body language style up
or down for the effect it will have.
This way you get control over your body
language that looks and feels natural, but
is also easy to change.
So what are the Dare the Doo's's andand Don'tsDon'ts in a first
Here is some tips and tricks to apply:
Here is some tips and tricks to apply:
Always stand up straight and never
slouch. You need to use your
maximum height and slouching
makes you appear shorter,
nevertheless that it projects an image
of low self-esteem.
of low self-esteem.
Do not make repeated, nervous-like
gestures. When speaking to someone
it’s important to use body movements
but never fast and repetitive ones.
This either can show lack of
confidence, or a hostile nature. They
are both too bad for your image. are both too bad for your image. Based on the information we are
going to see in the upcoming
chapters; you need to create your own
personal space and make sure to let
others know their borderlines. Do not
let them walk all over you; this is not
of any less importance than
respecting other's spaces.
respecting other's spaces.
Dedicate all your attention to the
person you are speaking to; do not
frequently look around or in you
watch as if you're uncomfortable or
not interested.
not interested.
Keep your voice moderately low and
your tone calm even if you were nervous or upset; a high or sharp
tone of voice indicates weakness
other than strength like one may
think.
You also need to apply 13 simple but
important rules we’re going to discuss in
details, taking care not to overplay it;
people notice the difference between
authentic and false gestures, and the social
actors are not really welcome among good
people.
What to do is not the only important thing
to know when doing or learning something
new, it’s “why you’re doing it” that counts, so ask yourself why do you wish to impress
people? Understand that we’re not trying to
manipulate or play people by learning ways
to impress them, on the contrary, you see,
humans are social beings, they derive their
happiness and stability out of their
peaceful relationships, seeking healthy
relations is crucial for a good high quality
life.
Remember, winning people’s hearts is an
act of love, and it should always come out
of love. First Impressions – How to win them all !ChapterIIIIIIIIIIII
