How simple life would be if all we had to do was discover that spirit power is capable of enhancing our lives and giving us a powerful graciousness with which we can experience whatever comes. Surprise! It can be. By walking with the truth of the Creator, whoever you believe it is, you know how to ask properly for the better wisdom and understanding of the Spiritual Way. The Creator wants what is best for us and there would be great pride in us if we learned to use all the gifts around us to be happier and more productive.
If we are studying a particular craft or discipline, with the Creator’s assistance, all our ‘work’ will be that much effective because we have learned to focus and master ourselves in all areas of our livesincluding speech! Being in a dither like the woman preparing for her special event will never get us closer to clearer thought or effective speech. Most of us reach a point where we enjoy the dither-mayhem and lose track of a very effective tool for change, which is knowing specifically what we need and how to exactly express it. This is important in prayer. We have all heard the saying to be careful what you ask for because you might get it. Old timers have told me their mothers taught them to be careful of what they said because an angel could be passing over and give it. Remember the section on asking an angel? We looked at the speed of the outcome compared to the clarity of the request. Being exact in speech is important in spell casting also. Let us not forget the story of the talisman earlier in this book. So the more exact the chant or “spell” is the more accurate those “ripples” will be when they are sent out to re-create.
We need to remember careless, thoughtless speech can create havoc for us as much as any anyone’s direct effort to do so. If nothing else, not speaking truth can be confusing when we try to remember who we told what. If I, as a practitioner who knows of the power of energy transformation, keeps saying something like “It figures, things like this always happen to me” (and the list is all negative), don’t you think those things will just keep happening (especially if I mastered some degree of being an adept)? We could not begin to imagine how many times we caused our own problems by the number of times we “hexed” ourselves with thoughtless speech. Think of ‘energy conversion’ when we think of all those times we added the force of our anger and upset to whatever we were saying! Negative speech, especially when we belittle ourselves, also reinforces whatever poor esteem and attitude issues we may each be fighting. Working on change is difficult as it is but would any one us have thought change would begin with the “mouth”?
So the first tool before all others is to begin to think and speak the same truth. This means no lies, not even to yourself. But, let’s look at the little ways in which we evade our own truth. As long as we are evading our truth, we can never think it, speak it or even know it. Before we go any further we need to look at this.
How many times have we called out ‘sick’ because for whatever the reason, we did not want to go to work? We weren’t sick though, were we? If you work for a large company, the use of your accrued time is a given unless you call out a lot and your performance suffers. We all know this. But, that is not the point. Would we really tell our boss “I’m not coming in today because I don’t want to?” It is easier to call out sick. We can also avoid the confrontation with the truth that we do not want to experience the disappointment and anger of our boss. Our work ethic would be challenged and from that point on, we know we would never be believed if we ever called out sick again, even if legitimately. So, in order to avoid the truth of criticism and discomfort, we call out sick instead.
Someone who likes to talk on and on calls us at a time when we don’t feel like being on the phone for hours. We all know someone like this. This is the type of person that won’t even get off the phone no matter how many clues you drop. You tell the person that something’s burning on the stove and you will call them back but you know you won’t. You lie to get the person so you can get off the phone so you won’t have to listen to them. You tell this lie because the truth is you just can’t find the way to tell them that you don’t have the time to talk or don’t feel like talking and that you will call them in a couple of days when things settle down. Truthfully, it took me a while to be comfortable doing this. I too would drop hints and HOPE the other person would understand. The truth is a lot of people don’t get the hint. Is it their fault that we do not make them understand (nicely, of course)? Another truth is maybe we do not want to be labeled rude. What do all of these ‘truths’ we avoid add up to? We are afraid of what people will think of us and we are not creative enough to find truthful solutions to our dilemmas. My truth is we think as we speak and speak as we think. From this perspective we can begin to see how important it is to make our thoughts and speech reflect the other. That requires knowing what our truth really is.
Let’s look at the example of the job. If there are personal days in addition to sick days, you might speak with your boss and let him or her know that there are things that need attending to and that you need a personal day. Then ask your boss to help you schedule it in for a time when you can spared. So many of us automatically look at a boss as an ogre instead of a human who also feels overwhelmed from time to time. Some companies actually have mental health days in recognition of the toll stress can take on workers from time to time. You will have been an honest, considerate employee and you don’t always have to give every detail of your life. We are adults, after all and should not have to give a reason for every request we make once in a while. Many of us do feel however, that we must explain everything. People would be very surprised at how unimportant reasons are when you ask for time off in relation to when you ask for time off and how you go about it. Sometimes we think we’re under a bigger microscope than we really are and when that happens, we lose our power over our selves and emotions.
There have been times when I would need to ‘shut down.’ Times when I just needed the tranquility of not speaking to anyone. I would plan it. I would contact those people closest to me (including the needy talker) and let them know that I would be “going under” and that I would contact them when I decided to come out “from under.” Once I made sure anyone who would worry knew I was simply incommunicado, I didn’t care who else called and simply would not answer the phone (an answering machine can still let us know of emergencies). An exercise like this helped me control my time when I was stressed and allowed my personal power to regenerate, so to speak.
There are so many times people just need to fill empty air space. If we stop long enough to listen, there is a lot of prattle going on. Life is not a radio show where dead air space is lethal to the business. If you were to say nothing more than was necessary in a conversation, you would see how quickly the ‘air space’ would be filled. People get edgy around quietness and begin to feel that space is an indicator of boredom. Here is another truth to consider: Are you afraid to be considered boring? Being thoughtful brings about a lot of conclusions. In the quietness of thoughtfulness, some people may think you are inattentive, bored or distracted. That is their conclusion but is it a truth? It is only their truth and we must let go of someone else’s truth to be comfortable in our own.
We’ve all told someone how nice a particular outfit looked even if it were not true. Yet, is there really anything wrong with saying the outfit is nice but when you wear this color or that length dress you REALLY STAND OUT or that when you wear brown, your eyes look really greener? Being truthful doesn’t mean tactless.
Sometimes people will ask opinions on decisions they made or are thinking of making. If it’s really an important personal decision, many times they do not want to know that the odds are against the married man they are in love with getting a divorce. Before I give my opinion on matters such as this, for example, I will always say, “If you ask my opinion, I will it give truthfully.” I do this because I will not fabricate and also it gives that person a chance to decide if they are ready to hear something other than what they want to hear.
You may be wondering where all of this is going. All of this ties into living the Spiritual Way. I am talking about “being” it 24/7. “Being” it all the time with no doubts, hesitation or questions or lies. For how can we find our truth if we, for whatever the reason, deceive others or ourselves? To think for a moment that we must give every detail of why we need a personal day in three weeks to our boss is to aggrandize who we are when all we are people that need extra time to take care of matters from time to time.
Knowing our truth is knowing what matters to us and enables us to prioritize. Prioritizing is never an easy matter. Sometimes we just manage to schedule that special treat for ourselves, which is important, but something comes up that by necessity shifts the priority from something desired to something that must be done. We could either be resentful or accept the truth that sometimes we must be flexible. For example, some years back, I was in desperate need of relaxation. I had been working and going to school and being a mom and a caregiver to my mother. I had to plan three months in advance for an outing with a friend. This was scheduled right after my semester had finished. I had taken a few days off and all but these few hours had been devoted to catching up with housework and doing things with my daughter.
Well, a couple of hours before I was going to leave, my mother took ill and my “treat” was quickly converted into being in the emergency with my mother all night until the crisis had passed. Now the obvious necessary shift in priority is clear but what was my truth? How did I feel? I internalized the “Woe is me” emotion because I so desperately wanted those few days to be according to my wishes. When I had to shift, I was understandably upset. What truth was shown to me with this situation? I realized that my dislike for change could cause me distress.
I further realized that because my schedule had become so tight and I had to be a perfect scheduler for so long, I had no room for flexibility. Whereas I had to become the perfect scheduler in order to be mother, daughter, student, worker and housekeeper, I had become enslaved to it. It was a rigidity I struggled with for many years. I have often wondered if this rigidity was a throw back to another life and a life choice I made that resulted in the upheavals I have had. So, I worked to rid myself of my rigidity and you know what? Being scheduled is not the most important thing in the world (or so I remind myself all the time). Stopping to learn when to stop is more important.
If we think about it, a childhood day is flexible. A child doesn’t care when he bathes and as far a child is concerned playtime should never end. Yet, as we get older, we look at play as an activity for the immature and call adult play a hobby. That has a more grown up ring to it. Who hasn’t been embarrassed by the honest statement of a child and how quickly is that child taught ‘manners.’ Or rather, how to deceive. There must be room for compassion and tact but, as we grow up, honesty is trained out us. We are told tell the truth yet, our parents will call out sick when they just want a day off.
That is when we begin to lose our childhood awe for life and the truth that creates majick. As we become adults we don’t even know enough to stop long enough to at least mourn the loss of childhood. We are too busy growing up. But childhood is day to day majick and wonder. The older we get, “wonder” begins to disappear and then it is gone. Majick is lost.
As we strive for acceptance under the cover of emotional safety, speech has become more and more shallow reflecting no truth or thoughtfulness. In this hurried era, priorities have shifted to what is fastest, convenient and acceptable. Sadder still is that a lot of people do not consider themselves powerful enough to ever be more than they are. If we listen to some people speak, we can feel their silent despair, tiredness and resignation. Speech has become something to say not saying something meaningful. And then there is that empty air.
Finding our truth is the hardest thing in world to do and is complicated by our not knowing what to say. Arguments happen over things people say as often as by things people do. If people did what they said and kept their word we would all know each other more truthfully and have fewer disappointments. Firstly, however, having looked at all of this, the truth is we must begin with ourselves. If we become our truth, like attracts like and we will attract truthful people. If we speak truthfully, people will have the permission to speak truthfully to us. If we speak accurately, our thinking will become focused and in turn will help us communicate more clearly. The benefits of these skills in the family, on the job, with friends and at work are obvious. Let us think now about our speech as it relates to the re-creation or reinvention we are looking for in ourselves.
In any prayer or chant or spell it is helpful to be able to gather your thoughts and put it into accurate words! The thoughtfulness we acquire by our exercises in quietness will help us remember to pray for the helpless, sick and hopeless. We will remember to thank The Creator for our blessings and for guidance. We will remember our ethics. All of this will become a natural way of ‘being’. Such is the power of speech.
Speech is a strong tool in the crafting and casting process. When we were spirits, before this lifetime, there was no need for words. We were pure spirit power. How easy all of this would be if only we could readily remember how powerful we were BEFORE we WERE!
If we can “walk our talk” as Native tradition teaches, figuring out what to say or how to say it becomes easier because our own truth, as long as we are true to it, will never leave and cause us disappointment.