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3.4      Searching For Your  own Truth

 

No one can give you the answers to the big questions about the universe and life.  But hopefully this section will give you some ways of thinking about things, not all of which you will necessarily agree with, but which will help you develop your own views and find your own Truths.

 

We are limited by what our brains are capable of and much of the complexity of the universe with its multiple dimensions, and infinite scale and  timeless existence will always elude us.  Our consciousness asks questions to which there will never be a complete answer . We cannot ever know the ultimate truth of what the universe is. Truth matters in whatever form we find it , and it is a fact that humans cannot live without searching for the truth and that has always been so.  

 

There is no grand purpose in the universe that is apparent to us.  It just is. 

 

The Buddha considered that there are no answers to the ultimate questions of why and how the universe exists at all and given that man will never be able to answer these questions  it is not productive to be concerned by these issues.  Buddhism is the only major religion that acknowledges a large area of ignorance about external matters . It does not attempt to answer such questions as ‘what is the purpose of life, the universe and everything?’  Buddhism regards such questions as at best unanswerable and probably intrinsically meaningless.

 

But we can know at an empirical level a great deal about what works and what does not for making ordinary human lives happy and fulfilling and meaningful on planet earth.  Furthermore we may not also ever totally understand why spirituality works the way that it does.

 

 

It is not about religion

 

Being loving and spiritual is NOT dependent on being religious or believing in a god of any sort. It is about a set of empirical findings about human behaviour that enable us to live happier lives. Being loving and spiritual WORKS even if we do not fully understand or ever will understand why.  

 

The yearning to believe in something greater than ourselves

 

In evolution people who were disposed to want to belong to a group or tribe that is greater than themselves had a survival advantage. This may explain why  it is such a ubiquitous attribute (our genetic inheritance) to be disposed to belong to and follow a religion as this is a modern manifestation  of this attribute. However we need to acknowledge that the act of placing our trust in a leader or authority or institution that we can feel is ‘bigger ‘ than us, or ‘above’ us gives us huge feelings of comfort and security and is in some ways very liberating. We all want to do this because it absolves us of having to take full responsibility for ourselves and our moral code, actions and opinions.

 

It is in fact a cop out to simply unquestioningly swallow whole an entire package of views and ‘truth’ off the shelf from a religion or leader. It is however very tempting to do this.- a boost up a very big ladder in the search for understanding in life to suddenly be able to accept a whole package of beliefs, morals, opinions  and even dress code. From then on you can merely say I am e.g. a Catholic or a Muslim . In answer to any question you can answer , ‘Whatever they think-I think’. And when any moral dilemma arises and  you are asked to act in a way that seems ‘wrong’ in the cause of that belief you can blindly follow and absolve yourself of all personal moral responsibility. So if you do decide to attach a label to yourself and ‘follow’ you must not stop questioning and thinking for yourself. If you do then believing is usually an undesirable thing.  We must always take responsibility for thinking and questioning for ourselves, and never suspend disbelief. 

 

For many people today especially the young, it is disorienting  and unsettling that there are no longer any institutions that they feel they can look up, respect and  trust e.g. the State, Church, police or government. Many seize upon something man made like allegiance to a football team or the State but at least it gives them that sense of belonging and a ‘greater cause’ that they are seeking. But for everybody who is not a religious fundamentalist it is difficult to find anything to believe in above and beyond yourself. Belief in religion has been responsible for a great deal of bad and evil action and thought.

 

There is however one benefit of ‘believing’  and that is that the resulting humility that it engenders helps  us develop SI. It does not actually matter whether the authority to which we bow and ‘worship’ is real or exists!  People do benefit from the humility that believing in something greater than themselves bestows. It does also have the important effect of positioning themselves in the universe. So if you want there is nothing wrong in saying prayers to the ‘universe’, or looking at the stars at night and feeling that enormous sense of smallness and fragility, humbleness, and mortality that washes over you. As I say it is a way of positioning ourselves and seeing the ‘greater’ picture.

 

The nature of existence

 

 Phenomena exist in an essentially interdependent mode and have no autonomous and enduring existence. Nothing exists independently  immune from the forces of cause and effect. Everything happens as the result of previous causes. Everything is relation.  Everyone is connected. We do not really exist in isolation as a discrete entity-it is a delusion of the mind. To believe that you are looking out on the world is a delusion-you are part of a flowing river of existence. Life on this planet is an ever changing soup that is in an endless cycle. You must see yourself as part of that. Even the cells that we are made of are constantly being renewed. We are not a constant unchanging entity. We are not the same from one moment to the next and bear little relation to who or what we were decades ago. When we die we are immediately recycled as is every other form of life. Whilst we are alive we have numerous constant interfaces with the soup upon which we are completely dependent.

 

Everything in existence in the universe is energy. Everything is connected. It is just one energy field. Our brains have evolved an extremely clever and elaborate collection of senses such that that is not how it seems to us.  Our senses only provide access and visbility of a small proportion of the energy that exists estimated by modern theoretical physics as about 4%. The rest of is referred as ‘dark’ matter. None of this is particularly helpful except to remind you that all is not what it seems.

 

Self importance, ego, and emphasis on self are erroneous perceptions of the world. Our control over the world is limited, temporary and more often than not illusory.

 

In nature life is cruel and harsh for most living things. The whole principle of the food chain means that most animals live a life of fear that ends in an early and violent death. Living is characterised by suffering, to varying degrees for all living beings. There are no explanations for all the sufferings, and evil, and torture and destruction and hunger in the world.  It is the very harshness of the environment on earth; the dramatic and extreme changes that take place, the changes that make life uncomfortable and dangerous, which have driven evolution. Life on earth dances to the beat of the environment and adjusts to hostile changes e.g. floods, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and long term climate changes. Of course whilst life overall is resilient, the survival of the individual and even whole species is not guaranteed. There is no grand plan for the outcome of evolutionary change.

 

Understand that there is no absolute truth or good or bad, or right and wrong. There is only different ways of seeing things. 

 

Reality is as it is and it is our thinking reasoning minds that cannot make sense of it. The only way is to wake up and realise that Reality is not the problem; it is you who imagines it is a problem. That is not to say that human beings should not attempt to help and assist others who are suffering where and when they can.

 

 

So Who Am I?

 

The spiritual answer to this is to define yourself by what you are not. You are not for example any convenient label e.g. a Buddhist , or a Catholic,  because being always aware and awake demands that you always approach each moment with freshness, and an open mind and not be controlled by conditioning.

 

Secondly you are not permanently shackled by any notion of weakness, or affliction from which you cannot improve or shake off.  Neither are you identified  with your failures and mistakes; you are no longer defined by them, and this is empowering and liberating. Be able to laugh at yourself and your goofs as if they happened to a third party, but do not in any way define who you are.

 

Arguably you are not your body because that is being continuously replaced and you do not have a single cell that you had 7 years ago.

 

Similarly you are no longer the baby or child that once had your identity. You are not your past because that does not exist anymore, and you are not your future because that does not exist yet. We live and exist only in the moment. The reality is that everything changes all the time including you.

 

It is my  personal opinion that human beings (or any form of life) have no permanent essence of self, or soul, although I recognise this is a highly controversial area and respect all other opinions.

 

The self is a concept built up by the mind and is a reference point within our thought processes. By solidifying into an apparent entity , the thought that creates the self becomes the pivot around which all other thinking revolves.

 

So what or who are we really ?  Arguably merely  a continuum of consciousness, and the cumulative product of what we have previously thought.

 

The meaning of life / the purpose of life

 

The ultimate question of all. There are many ways of thinking about this some of which may be helpful to you.  Ultimately you have to decide  the answer to this for yourself.

 

There is no grand purpose in life that is defined for us, because who or what would define it ? The Universe , and life itself, just is ; there is no purpose in it. We have to define our own purpose.

 

It is in fact a naive question which sees life as attaining some aim through the creation of something of value e.g. wealth, fame, or power. What do you do when you have achieved your aim?  No the purpose in life must be continuous and a moment by moment aim to respond to life in a selfless way applying SI. Accepting that we exist and live only  in the moment then our purpose in life is not something that is defined as the purpose of our entire life but instead is about having purpose moment by moment.

 

But one of the main aims of SI is to live a meaningful life with purpose. If that is not achieved one could reasonably ask what is the point of SI?  So another way of looking at it is not to ask what we expect life to provide for us and instead ask what life expects from us i.e. what is the purpose of our life to the collective river of life and humanity.

 

You could define  SI as living a life that is dedicated to connection to the universe, enjoying the moment, being the best we can, showing compassion for our fellow man, giving out love and positive energy to those that are close to you, and working to help and assist and improve the lot of others, and in these ways making the world a better place. The common theme is that all of these attributes are about thinking about and acting for the benefit of others, rather than thinking about yourself.

This leads you to the conclusion that there is a purpose in life and it is a purpose that you make for yourself moment by moment in being of service to others.

 

I will now suggest another entirely compatible moment by moment purpose. By following the path of EI and SI in this guide, and practising the behaviours, I believe that a related purpose in life is to develop a permanent state of mind that allows you  to  enjoy each moment with inner peace and happiness from the sure knowledge and wisdom that these states of mind do not come from worldly attainments.

 

Everyone has a current set of circumstances –friends, family, job, hobbies, etc –i.e. their so called ‘lot’ in life. Everybody’s lot in life or tasks and commitments and responsibilities are different, but they are real, and they are your ‘destiny’. Some of the ‘cards’ in your life have been dealt to you and some will have been chosen by you.  But whatever is your current ‘lot’ in life or destiny, your purpose is to respond to it moment by moment with what Buddhism refers to as  right thought , right effort and right action , or in other words with skill and integrity and with the highest quality that we can muster.

 

We can all see what are the actual set of demands on us at any time , and instead of trying to deny the ones we do not like, or always wishing some were different , we should accept them as they are, and fulfil them to the best of  our ability and to the highest standard we can. Our purpose in life is thus simply put to be the best and nicest person we can in the life that we find ourselves.

 

Clearly at its most obvious this includes being the best husband, or wife, partner, parent, child and friend we can.  If you live your life in this way it is guaranteed to feel that it has huge purpose and meaning due to the importance of your life to others.

 

On the subject of suffering it is the lot of many that their lives contain much suffering. We must see that the suffering in our lives Is, as it is, and is also our destiny and the opportunity is to respond to this in the same positive way as to any other commitment or responsibility or task. Many of the happiest people in the world are  disabled, and / or poor or abused servants or have endured or are enduring serious illness.

 

In summary the purpose in life is not some mythical goalposts or finishing line but the route, the journey.

 

Fate and Destiny

 

Many self help books use the expression that everything happens exactly as it should or everything happens perfectly. I believe this to be true but I need to try to explain  what is meant by this. This can be a difficult concept to understand or interpret especially if you were trying to reconcile it with e.g. a tragedy  as extreme as the loss of a loved one.

 

It may be preferable to express this concept as everything happens exactly as it is going to and your mind constantly deludes you by trying to tell you otherwise.

 

A bedrock of the spiritual approach is that you do your best to manage risk and manage your life, making preparations where appropriate but you must let go of the outcomes. You can go so far in trying to change the odds that your life will unfold in a particular way but you cannot control the future. For example. you may fear having a serious road accident so you select a car that offers superior crash protection, you drive very cautiously, and you avoid driving on dangerous roads, you do not drive when tired etc but if it unfolds that you still have a serious accident maybe entirely due to the fault of someone else then this is an example of having to accept Life as it is. Due to the particular set of conditions that existed immediately prior to the accident , the accident became inevitable and was always going to happen.

 

This is NOT the same as saying there are such things as fate or predestination or destiny because in my opinion there are not. But everything unfolds moment by moment, and everything is the result of previous causation so by the time you reach your next moment, it is only ever going to go one way. That is not the same as fate.

 

The future does not exist yet and there are no plans anywhere for the future except perhaps in your head! But the nature of existence is that it unfolds moment by moment, and clearly you have free choice to manipulate the future to a certain extent. For example you can and do choose whether to go out in your car on the day you may or may not have an accident. The point is the accident does not exist until it happens .

 

Our lives really would be pointless if we had to follow a pre-determined path over which we had no control and everything was set out in advance as if we were just acting out  a part in a play.   So be thankful that fate and destiny do not exist actually, and when I talk about ‘destiny’ elsewhere in this document what I mean is ‘your lot in life’ as it has unfolded. That does not mean it was determined in advance.

 

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