PART V
PATHS TO EMPOWERMENT
Empowerment comes from information that we have gathered on our journey. It is difficult to move forward until the past becomes just that, the past. This section makes a connection between history, negative and positive experiences. There are forces operating in society and culturally that impact the environment where we live, thrive and negotiate our survival and subsequent empowerment.
Information is power. Take a few minutes to reflect upon this phrase. The more information that you acquire on anything will put you in a power position. Have you ever been a part of something but not in the information loop? If you have found yourself on the outside, then you are familiar with the feelings that are associated with not being a part of things and the resulting insecurities. Life is like that also. The more you know about yourself, the more self- confident you become. Make yourself a student of life; amass knowledge about yourself, your challenges and how you affect the world that you impact. We all have impact, you know.
The Road to Inner Peace. Many women do not know what they want or if they even deserve the goodness in life because for so long they have believed that they could not have it; or they have delayed their own dreams for the sake of the family. It is advisable to work through the Exercises: Assist in Personal Growth and Development, located in the Appendices, at the start of your journey. This will prevent you from fumbling around in the fog trying to find your path.
You may experience an array of feelings as you work through the exercises, and you may discover that you harbor negative feelings against individuals from your past because of things that they may have done to you. Additionally, you will come to a full understanding that you allowed yourself to step down because of some misplaced loyalty to a friend or a family member. This may create anger against you by you; so the first order is to forgive.
Learn To Forgive Yourself. This means forgive yourself for not being perfect, for the mistakes you have made in your life and for the bad choices that lead you to bad places and people. Look at all the relationships in your life, including family and friends. Are there people that you feel that you have hurt? Can you find it in your heart to ask them for their forgiveness? Do you find that this request for forgiveness comes hard for you because you, too, have been wronged and you do not understand WHY they cannot see that? Even if they will not or cannot forgive you, forgive yourself and move on. They may not be able to get past their pain to see yours, therefore, you have to take responsibility for your own pain and your own peace of mind.
Learn to Forgive Others. Do not be afraid to give the release they need to move on in their journey; you will find a sense of peace in doing this. Look inside your heart, find and acknowledge areas where you might have failed a loved one. Remember, at the time of the deed, you might have been operating on limited information, a false reality base and you may have thought it was right. In retrospect, you can see that it was not but it is a wise person who can look himself or herself directly in the mirror and admit transgressions. So, give this individual closure and repair the bridge that prevents you from being close to loved ones. This will be painful and difficult but when it is all over, you will start to find a sense of peace. You cannot control what other people feel or what they believe. The goal is to clear the path to your glory using peace and truth, as you understand it. God will provide the words and the strength when it is time. Think long and hard before taking any action. No matter what they have done to you and how unfair it is to forgive them; for your own sake, you have to let go. Remember our past beliefs and how we remember the events all have influenced us; and how our decisions lead us to uncomfortable places.
When you find you are thinking bad about someone just go into your prayer mode. If you do this enough, you will automatically do it and it will become second nature. You will find that person will change towards you. They have their own special journey. We are not to judge them, just love them through God as one of his special children. It is ironic how the world seemingly changes when you change how you perceive things. Jesus describes this transformation.
The ultimate goal of spiritual strengthening is the re-programming of the thought processes. The brain is like a computer. If negative information goes in then the only output will be negative information. Therefore, what is put into your mind must be jealously guarded as you would your most precious gems. Reading inspirational books that motivate and inspire are excellent tools for the re-awakening of the innocence and godly power that lie within each person.
Our environment provides numerous stimuli both positive and negative. In all of our waking hours, we are continually receiving messages from the environment that affect our reality. Much of this information enters our psyche on a sub-conscious level. Nevertheless, over 90% of environmental things we can control. It is paramount that we become aware of our surroundings and what goes into our senses. We can control the type of people we are around, the type of entertainment; visual, auditory, and sensory information that we absorb. It takes courage and a strong commitment to one’s own spiritual health to say no to garbage.
It is very easy to fall into the “poor me mentality” because it feels good to bemoan the injustices heaped upon you at times. This is one time where you can be the center of attention when you are venting your frustrations and most of the time you can find an audience. The bad thing about it is when you are no longer frustrated, your audience will constantly remind you of the injustice and it will be difficult for you to take that high spiritual road again.
If you get off the path too often, you may appear as a hypocrite. How many times have you said something like that about a fellow Christian? It is very clear that to grow spiritually means that you have to persevere and stay on that spiritual journey even when the road gets rocky. In fact, the rocky road can be used and an impetus for change. You don’t become strong without flexing your Christian muscles. So when trouble comes, this will be an excellent opportunity to test your resolve.
Spiritual friends must be developed and nurtured to prevent the inevitable loneliness, frustration and sometimes depression that will come. Do not make the mistake of thinking that since you are on an enlightened path, that your life is going to be smooth sailing. It is important that this inner circle of peers have the same philosophy as you because too much energy spent in disagreements over basic philosophical differences wastes precious time. It does not mean that either one is wrong; it means that the two realities are divergent and will cause friction and sometimes estrangement. The travelers on this road need consistency to be able to stay focused. Choose these people very carefully.
Discover your inner beauty and claim it. When you are feeling down on yourself, just think of the power you inherited from your
heavenly Father and know that He did not make junk. Allow yourself to feel the power that comes from knowing that you are a unique and special person, and before you know it, you will start to feel God’s presence. Claim the value that God gave you at birth.
Close your eyes for a moment. Clear your mind and allow yourself to think about your anointing with power directly from your heavenly Father. How does that feel? Keep your eyes closed for a few moments more to allow the realization of your birthright to sink into the essence of your being.
That feels good. Now try to carry that feeling with you wherever you go. Whenever you are around negative people or in negative circumstances; go into that special place and allow yourself to feel the warming flow of God’s love and imagine Him anointing you with your birthright. Do not allow anyone or anything to steal this from you because you are Beautiful.
Find the good in everything. Because we live in a convoluted world, bad things do happen to good people. It sometimes appears that when you try to do right, it is as if you walk around with a neon sign flashing, “dump on me!”
When it is your time to shoulder some pain, accept it graciously and learn how to see God’s plan in it. Do not be so quick to think that God put the burden on you. A close and careful scrutiny of a situation will reveal that the occurrence is because of a recent or a past decision. Humanity has free will to make good or bad decisions that affect our lives for the rest of our lives and our children’s lives. So, think about short-term and long-term repercussions. Determine if it is caused by one of your choices if so, what have you learned from this situation?
Accept the things you cannot change. The serenity prayer really helps in making this a reality because it does absolutely no good to spend a lot of energy on things in your life that you cannot control. Learn to recognize those things that you do have control of and work on them. For example, if you are in a bad relationship, do not waste your time trying to change the other person. The only person that you can change is yourself and you know how hard it is to change.
Set long term and short-term goals. Reflect back on the Goals Worksheet and list your goals in the following categories; personal, financial, spiritual, educational, social and civic. Do not limit yourself. Allow yourself to believe that you have what you want. If you fail to plan your goals, then you plan to fail. Do you think you will ever know when you reach your destination if you do not know where you are going?
Refer to the Goals Worksheet located in the Workbook section to develop an action plan. From this action plan, develop your short term and long-term goals.
Do a good deed everyday. This can be a small gesture, like giving someone a sincere compliment, letting a shopper go ahead of you at the super market or a huge one, like cutting an infirmed person’s grass or organizing a clean up crew from the neighborhood to clean a house for a senior person. It does not matter what you do, but focus a portion of everyday thinking and doing something nice for someone else.
Many people already give sacrificially but is it because it is expected of you? If so, do something for someone who absolutely does not have any expectations from you and relish the feelings that you gain from a tiny act of kindness. What would happen if these tiny acts become contagious around your office or home? Awesome!
Anticipate well. We form our realities by what is believed. Make your life more positive and fun by expecting a miracle everyday. Instead of expecting the worse, expect the best from everyone you meet. Look for life’s tiny miracles everyday and do not be amazed when you find them.
Be grateful. Gratitude opens your heart to joy, so be sure to appreciate all of your blessings, even the tiny ones. Find joy in even the smallest things in your daily journey. For instance, no matter how bad things are in your life, look at what you do have and be grateful for that. Attitude means a lot and a positive attitude will draw other people to you. No one wants to be around a complaining, ungrateful grouch.
Be Happy. You can solve most problems if they are perceived as challenges rather than obstacles. Do research, read books and talk to other people who have gone through your challenge and find new ways of doing things. Look at each obstacle as an opportunity to learn something new. Attack each challenge with optimism, honesty, tenacity, acceptance, and eventually you will be an over- all happier person even during critical times of stress.
Be the change you want to see in the world. This is the order of the day. As you journey throughout your life, you will find many opportunities to make a difference in this world.