Three Questions to annihilate worry
Whenever you are worried, do ask yourself the following three questions. Through these questions, the truth about worry will be revealed to you.
First Question : Whatever things I have
Answer : No. Only a few events out of those might have occurred.
Second Question : Whatever did occur, was it as dreadful as I had imagined it to be?
Answer : No. Out of the few that did occur, only a handful were really dreadful.
Third Question : However dreadful those countable few events turned out to be, were you able to face them? Answer : Definitely, I could face them.
Conclusion : If you have faced such events in the past, won’t you be able to face such events even in the future? Then why is there a need to sit and brood over the future and generate worry? First of all, whatever you think will occur… won’t occur. Even if it did, it will not be as dreadful as you think it would be. Even if it were dreadful, then you do have a history of facing such events successfully. Thus you will be able to face them even in the future. All you need to do is some honest enquiry with yourself. Such enquiry will reveal the futility of playing the tape of worry in your mind over and over. You will realize that you have the habit of rewinding the tape and playing it again and again. Through self-enquiry, an awareness will arise that will keep you out of worrying even in the most dreadful of situations.
Three Steps – One Formula First Step: Whenever you worry, ask yourself what is the worst that might happen? What at the most?Explanation: Thinking so prepares you for the worst, whether your worst fears come true or not. Whatever you think might be the worst, usually does not happen at all. The probability is barely 5- 10%.
Second Step: Accept what is the worst that can happen.Explanation: First conjure up what is the worst that can happen. Then accept the worst. If you accept something, then it cannot torment you. Inability to accept leads to unhappiness.
Third Step : Take action in whatever time is leftExplanation: Without the third step, this formula is incomplete. Complete the formula by taking the third step. You know what is the worst that could happen. So, in whatever time is left, take corrective action. Do what you can to prevent further loss. This is similar to darning your clothes. You know your shirt is torn and you cannot bring back the original condition of your shirt. So you go to a darner and mend as much as you can.
This formula of imagining what is the worst that could happen, then accepting it and then taking action is a powerful one. By applying this three-step formula, you will find that ninety-nine out of hundred times, whatever you feared as the worst, does not occur at all.
Fear of FailureThe three-step technique explained in the previous topic to combat worry is especially useful to tackle the fear of failure. A student might fear failing in his examination. There are many students who have barely any time left for studying and who while away the remaining time worrying over their fate. If a student knows this formula, he would first imagine what is the worst that could happen. At worst he might fail. He then accepts that he might fail. He accepts the consequence of it. This brings immediate relief to him. Finally in whatever little time is left, he makes amends. Now the fear of failure no longer paralyses him or keeps him from studying. This gives him confidence and he gets down to work. And in the end, he finds that whatever he had feared, that never even occurred. This technique could be used for any performance related fear or anxiety.