The alternative to rejecting something about the way things are, which is what the ego does, is finding something to love about it. There's always something to love in every moment. Can you find a sensation, something of beauty, or a sound that is loveable? Is peace here, even just a sliver? Is love? Is contentment? Is the universe holding together?
Being happy or not being happy is largely a matter of what we focus on. The ego can be miserable, and we can still be happy if we find something loveable about what is going on. Finding something to love is hard for the ego, but it's actually easy because there's plenty that is loveable about life. From Essence's standpoint, all of life is loveable because Essence experiences life differently than the ego. Essence says yes to it, while the ego says no. Paying attention to the ego's rejection of life makes us miserable, while noticing what is loveable fills us with love.
The secret to happiness is to love—not to be loved, but to love. Loving is essentially saying yes to life, accepting it. Loving feels good, even better than being loved. Nothing feels better than loving. However, the ego doesn't want to love as much as it wants other things, such as power and security. It would rather feel angry, sad, or any other emotion than love. Emotions give the ego some identity, some reason for existing. They give it a problem to fix.
The ego doesn't want to love because loving makes it feel vulnerable. It doesn't trust love because the ego isn't what creates or experiences love. Loving is the domain of Essence, and when we are experiencing love, we are experiencing Essence. So to move out of the ego and into Essence, all we have to do is find something to love. Doing that is easy, but the catch is we have to want to.
The you that wants to move out of ego identification and into Essence is the you that is already not identified with the ego. That is a catch! The ego doesn't want you to move out of ego identification, but something else does, and that's Essence. There comes a time in our spiritual evolution when we become aware of a you that can choose to move out of ego identification. Then we begin to wake up out of ego identification and live more as Essence in the world. Essence is what chooses love over the ego's values. Essence is what loves, not the ego.
When we choose to find something loveable about the present moment, we will find many things. One thing that's always loveable is simply our willingness to love. What a miracle! In the midst of such a painful and difficult world, we have within us a willingness to love. That goodness within us is extremely loveable. That same goodness is within everyone else too, although that goodness—God-ness—is often hidden by the ego. Still, there's much evidence of the goodness within everyone when we look for it.
One of the easiest ways to experience love is to give our attention to something we love. Just looking at our pets, for instance, opens our Heart, which is why pets are such a gift to us. Of course our children and other loved ones also open our Hearts, although their egos and ours often complicate love. Our pets' lack of ego allows our ego to relax and stay in the background. Anything of beauty also evokes our love: nature, colors, art, and music. Since beauty is always available, love is always available.
We can also experience love for the gift of being alive and for being able to experience the present moment. That's the love Essence feels as it lives life through us. What a wonder the physical body is! That sense of wonder and gratitude for life, the body, and other living things is love. The Being that we are is in awe of life. When we move our attention onto that which loves life, we feel complete. Nothing more is needed in the moment than that. What a surprise that life can be this simple and complete!
Finding something to love in every moment is the antidote to the ego's rejection of the moment. When you find yourself struggling against life, stop and notice what's beautiful and loveable. And don't just stop with one thing; find another and another. Life can be lived from a place of celebration and gratitude instead of rejection. It's your choice.
From Embracing the Now