Love is the underlying fabric of life, and kindness is its reflection in the world, through us. It can be conveyed in attentiveness to others, in words, or in deeds. One of the most powerful acts of kindness is kindness toward ourselves. That is really where kindness begins. If we aren't kind to ourselves, how can we be kind to others? Unless we are also kind to ourselves, kindness toward others is more of a manipulation, an attempt to get others to give us something, including love. However, unless we are kind to ourselves, we won't even be able to take in any kindness we do receive from others. That place of lack inside of us can't be filled from the outside. First, we have to be kind to ourselves.
True kindness comes from a desire to soothe and comfort others because we have discovered the power and blessing of kindness as a result of having received it. Receiving kindness from others heals us and makes it possible to express it to others. If we haven't received much kindness from others, we need to find a way to give it to ourselves, to be kind to ourselves even though others may not have been. To do that, we have to do two things: We have to forgive those who weren't kind to us, and we have to see that we deserve love.
Unfortunately, those who didn't receive a lot of kindness as children usually concluded that they deserved that and that they aren't lovable. They need to forgive those who were unable to be kind to them (probably because they were treated the same way when they were young) and learn to give love to themselves. Those who were abused learned to abuse themselves inwardly; they learned to believe their negative thoughts about themselves. They need to develop a loving inner voice rather than an unloving one. That can be done, but it takes a willingness to see the truth, to see through the negative selfimage to the truth—that you are divinity in a human body, that you are love incarnate.
Everyone has the same capacity to love, but that ability may have been squelched by not having been loved. Not being loved as a child blocks the natural flow of love, and giving love to yourself allows love to flow outward again. It's always possible to give ourselves love because our true nature (Essence) loves the human expression that we are, no matter what we have or haven't done, no matter what our shortcomings are. When we tap into the love—the kindness and compassion—that our true self has for the human that we are and for all of humanity, we unleash the power of love in our life to heal ourselves and others.
We desperately need this now on earth. Can you find it in your heart to be kind to yourself? This is not a selfish act, but the most unselfish act because it allows the love of your true nature to flow outward toward all of life. You don't have to like the ego and its ways; just accept it as part of the human condition. Be kind and compassionate toward yourself and those who are caught in the ego and the suffering it causes, and this kindness will release you and others from the ego's prison of limitation and fear. Love yourself and others for the courage to be alive and be human in these difficult and challenging times. Give yourself and others some slack. Forgive, allow, accept, and be kind. Relax and let everything be as it is.
From Living in the Now