Conflict Resolution Do’s and Don’ts of Resolving Conflict
"Peace is not absence of conflict; it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."
Ronald Reagan
Do understand that conflicts are inevitable. Conflict with others comes from differences in beliefs, expectations, goals, values and behaviors that make us rub each other the wrong way. Here are some valuable resources that could help you resolve conflict in the workplace.
William James, Father of American Psychology Using Conflict Resolution skills is important when working with others, but it is necessary to understand the root of the conflict before using strategies to fix it.
According to Thomas & Kilmann. Conflict Resolution for Supervisors
Six Steps to the Conflict Resolution Process:
1. Clarify the disagreement –Obtain as much information as possible by asking questions until each side understands the other’s point of view.
2. Establish a common goal for both parties –Find a commonality in both sides, and discuss what each party would like to see happen.
3. Discuss ways to meet the common goal –Brainstorm different approaches to meet the goal.
4. Determine the barriers to the common goal –Define what can and cannot be changed, and discuss ways to get around those roadblocks.
5. Agree on the best way to resolve the conflict –Discuss the responsibility each party has to maintain the solution, ensuring this conflict does not arise again.
6. Acknowledge the agreed solution and each party’s responsibilities in there solution –Get both parties to acknowledge a win-win situation.
Five Basic Methods of Resolving Conflict-- The Thomas-Kilmann Model
1. Competing is most appropriately used by managers and leaders in the work place. It is used primarily for situations that require: Quick action where there is no compromise or debate, or when making hard or unpopular decisions.
2. Collaborating involves team input. This is useful when: All parties want to find resolution, but are unable to agree on what it should be.
3. Compromising involves a “win” for both sides of the table. This is used when: Resolving issues of moderate to high importance. Parties are of equal power and there is strong commitment on both sides, and often times used as a temporary fix to a situation.
4. Avoiding is to not handle the conflict. This is best used in situations that: Are not work related, and should be resolved in another arena.
5. Accommodating is allowing the other side to “win.” It is used primarily for: Maintaining perspective in a situation, and keeping the peace and creating goodwill.
Additional Reading
Resolving Conflicts at Work: Ten Strategies for Everyone on the Job by Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith
The Handbook of Conflict Resolution: Theory and Practice by Peter T. Coleman, Morton Deutsch, et al.
Points of Reflection
"When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion."
Dale Carnegie
“10% of conflicts are due to difference in opinion and 90% is due to wrong tone of voice.”
Unknown