Constructive and Harmful Criticism
“Criticism is always easier than constructive solutions.”
Jaron Lanier
Business Dictionary Definition
A recommended set of instructions that aims to collaboratively improve the overall quality of a product or service. Often containing helpful and specific suggestions for positive change, constructive criticism is highly focused on a particular issue or set of issues, as opposed to providing general feedback on the item or organization as a whole.
According to Forbes Coaches Council
Is Your Criticism Constructive Or Harmful? 13 Ways to Assess Your Feedback Style
1. What Is The Recipient's Perception?
The only differentiator between harmful and constructive criticism is the perception of the person on the receiving end. Your intention is never the differentiator. When giving advice, ensure that you are taking into account the perspective of the other person. How might they perceive your criticism? What is the best way to communicate your observations to them? What is your desired outcome?
2. What Do You Want Your Feedback To Achieve?
Before providing feedback to anyone, ask yourself, "What do I want this feedback to achieve?" Set an intention and ask yourself if the tone and method of your feedback will accomplish that goal. If the answer is no, adjust. And as a general rule of thumb, never provide feedback when you are experiencing a negative feeling (anger, frustration, hurt) because it won't come across as constructive.
3. Is It True, Helpful And Actionable?
One way to anticipate if your criticism will be helpful or harmful is to ask yourself, "Was it solicited?" If yes, proceed cautiously. If no, ask yourself what is motivating your intentions. If it's true, helpful and something the person can act on, go ahead and offer your opinion. Telling a colleague her outfit is unflattering with no time to change is cruel -- even if it's true.
4. Are You Offering A Solution Rather Than A Problem?
Remember the phrase, "correct, and then direct." That should be the process you use when addressing employee and client mistakes. When someone you coach or employ makes a mistake, show them the problem, the cause of the problem and how to solve it. Most people point out mistakes and blame. You need to point out flaws and offer improvements.
5. Do You Have A Strong Foundational Relationship And A Growth Mindset?
The valence of the relationship is the lens through which others experience your feedback. When they see you as an ally, the impact will be positive, even if the delivery wasn't perfect. Also, it helps to employ a growth mindset to communicate your belief in their capacity to learn and grow. Rather than saying, "You failed," try something like, "You're not there yet," to imply they can get there.
6. Is Your Criticism Personal?
Constructive criticism focuses on the behavior and the impact and relates it to the expectation that has been set previously. It also focuses on new behaviors could yield positive impacts. Harmful criticism often directs comments about the person and is impacted by the bias the provider has. It's harmful because it's not usually paired with a constructive new action the person can take.
7. Is The Recipient Ready To Hear My Criticism?
Constructive criticism is knowing when someone is ready to hear the truth and willing to make a change. Harmful criticism means you are not compassionately assessing the other party's state of being. Tough love sometimes is necessary to break through someone's denial system, but unless there is a true desire on the other person's part to make a change, it becomes more harmful than helpful.
8. Are You Being Empathetic?
Constructive criticism starts with empathy. Understanding and sharing your thoughts and feelings builds the foundation for the conversation. Starting with empathy creates trust and opportunities for change. Free yourself from any judgment or assumptions that can cloud your ability to help the other person. Be open to explore what the other person shares with you.
9. Are You Focusing On A Desired Future?
The most effective feedback is focused on what you want to see rather than what's wrong. For example, if a colleague constantly interrupts others in meetings, you likely want them to talk less. Effective feedback might be, ”Would you consider listening more closely to others in our meetings? That may mean waiting for others to finish their thoughts and asking questions so they feel understood.”
10. Who Is This Feedback Really For?
When you are giving feedback there is a sure way to know if it is constructive or harmful. Ask yourself who is the feedback for? If the feedback really is of value for the other person, then it is constructive. If your feedback only makes you feel better, then the feedback is harmful. Make it about them, not you.
11. Am I Properly Framing My Feedback?
You need to properly frame your feedback and come from a place of caring for the person that you are giving feedback to. This is difficult if you have been bottling it up for some time. Instead, share your feedback as soon as something that you disagree with happens.
12. Why Do I Need To Give This Criticism?
Before you speak, ask yourself why you feel you need to give criticism. Are you rushing to judgment with someone you haven't taken the time to get to know? Did you make mistakes along your career path? How would you want to receive constructive criticism? If you still feel the need to give advice, ask permission first and invite the person to share advice about a behavior that you could improve.
13. Are You Helping Take Someone From Here To There?
Feedback, whether positive or constructive needs to take people from one level of performance to another. When checking whether your criticism is helpful, ensure you are stating the facts as you know them and how it affects the end state. For example: "When you use X behavior, it affects Y person in Z way." You are handing someone criticism that is actionable and factual and begins a discussion.
Tips By Good. Co Team Other Things to Consider:
When giving constructive criticism, make it a discussion, not a one-sided rant. Keep your tone of voice neutral and factual in order to give the impression that your message is well-reasoned and fair. Take care to not come off as patronizing. Constructive criticism is likely to be most effective coming from a trusted source. Ensure you lead by example and strive for a personal connection with your co-workers consider the time and place. Don’t deliver such feedback in a group space. Remember – the purpose of constructive criticism is not to engender feelings of shame or disgrace, but to encourage change!
Biblical Verses
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye[c] when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 (NLT)
The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18 (NIV)
Additional Reading
The Power of Positive Criticism by Hendrie Weisinger Ph.D.
Point of Reflection
“Every human being is entitled to courtesy and consideration. Constructive criticism is not only to be expected but sought.”
Margaret Chase Smith