The Power of Focus
“My life is nothing more than a mirror of my consistent thoughts.”
— Tony Robbins
“The level of thinking that’s gotten us to where we are is not what’s going to get us to where we want to go. To get to where we want to be, we need to take on a new level of thinking.”
— Tony Robbins, Lessons in Mastery audiotapes
What do you choose to focus on? Do you focus on the positive or the negative? The past or the future? Is your focus constructive and healthy or destructive and damaging? What you focus on most will determine your overall perception of the world. It is essential to be aware of what you allow yourself to focus on.
Your body reflects the energy that you attract and focus on. We talk more about this in the chapter The Law of Attraction. When you’re angry, your heartbeat is faster, your blood flow is faster, and your breathing may be faster or heavier. Similar bodily fluctuations also occur if you are excited, energized, or anxious. The only difference is your mental focus. Your body will react to whatever you allow your mind to focus on, and that will determine how you handle any situation.
Whether you’re aware of it or not. you have trained yourself, through your associations and perceptions, to think you have to react a certain way when something happens. If someone cuts you off in traffic, you get angry because you perceive that as an insult — the other driver wasn’t respecting you. They put you at risk or in danger.
But why not look at it in a different way? Try perceiving the person cutting you off in a better way. Try relating to the person. Maybe the driver is late and in a rush — we’ve all been there. Maybe the driver has an emergency. Maybe the other driver just wasn’t paying attention, and you were. Thank goodness you were! As a result, you were able to react, and now you’re absolutely fine. Take some deep breaths and be thankful rather than angry. Remember, only you control the state you allow yourself to be in, through what you allow yourself to focus on. So, the next time you are angry, sad, or depressed about something, ask yourself, “Why am I letting myself feel this way? What am I focused on? The positive or the negative? The past or the future?”
You know you don’t like feeling angry, sad, or depressed. So why are you letting yourself feel that way? Don’t accept feelings because you think they are natural or normal reactions to something. If someone passes away, it is sad. It is also healthy to feel a sense of sadness. But dwelling on the sadness never makes you feel better, does it? Once you change your focus and create a new association with their passing — one that is positive — you free yourself from the feeling of sadness. Focus on the amazing fact that you were able to have the person in your life for that duration of time. Focus on the amazing times you had with the deceased, so that, when you think of the person, it is positive and makes you smile or laugh. Remember that the person would want you to be happy and know that he or she is in a better place, regardless of the beliefs you have about what happens after death. Their energy is everywhere and inside you. Their external being is no more, but the internal feeling you gave each other is still there. Focus on the positive memories and good times and feelings you had together. Feel blessed that you were able to share the time you had together to make such wonderful memories.
Deepak Chopra says “Our experiences with people is what determines our relationships. But our memories are what keep the relationship alive. If we forgot every experience we ever had with people, we would have nothing to associate them with — positive or negative. So, with regard to losing a loved one, it is our memories that have created our love toward this person. As long as you have your memories, the love will always be there.”
Your relationship will be rejoined in the afterlife, in heaven — whatever your beliefs are. If you don’t believe in anything after death, that’s absolutely fine. But it probably won’t make the thought of losing a loved one any easier and won’t give you a sense of peace and happiness anytime death occurs. People are free to believe in whatever they choose to believe in. Some beliefs help in making the thought of death not so scary or sad. Death isn’t “Game Over” but just the start of a new life. Life is whatever you believe it is, as is death. So why not believe they are both wonderful and peaceful in their own way? One cannot exist without the other. That is why they are both beautiful in their own way.
Deepak Chopra describes death as the loss of time. He says, “Time is a unit of measurement. It only is because we have made it so. We live our lives according to time. Death is the loss of time. That is what creates the fear of death in most people. When you die, you are timeless, forcing you to create a new perception you are not used to.” If you focus on bad things associated with death, because of your beliefs, then you will be much sadder when death occurs. Create a new association for what death means to you, and death can mean anything you choose it to mean. Some people believe death is more beautiful than life. It’s all what you choose to focus on and how you allow yourself to associate one thing with another. Changing your focus changes everything!
When I would mountain-bike down steep hills through thick forests on a tight trail, I learned that it is best to not focus on how close I am to the trees, because I would most likely crash if I did. It was better to focus down the trail, where I wanted to go, and almost ignore the trees around me as if they weren’t there. The secret is to focus on what you want — not on what you want to avoid.
When you focus on the past, it is like driving forward with your eyes on the rear view mirror. From that perspective, it would seem dangerous to focus on the past. By focusing on your past, you are bound to go off course of where you would like to be in the future. This common mistake is why so many of us do not create the lives that we really want. We spend too much time focused on the past. A masterful chess player does not worry about his past moves. What he is more concerned about is the moves he plans to make in the future. His focus is on the possibility of future outcomes, not on the past. This change in focus is what separates his success from his failure. I’m not saying we should forget the past but rather use it as a primary tool for learning, so we can better create our future.
When you consistently focus on being successful, being the best that you can be, improving yourself constantly, achieving your goals, and devising the proper strategic plan of action, you can do anything. You just have to control what you allow yourself to focus on.
Random Fact
A lion’s roar can be heard from five miles away.
