Assess Your Life

You might know that you’re unhappy, but it’s important to figure out how to start fixing that. If you’re like most people, you have limited resources, most notably time, money, and willpower. It’s difficult to change everything at once and still expect to experience success, so take it one step at a time.

To create the greatest positive impact, it’s important to identify the areas of your life that you most want to change. This step is critical.

Most people will quickly identify “money” as the issue. While there’s no denying the impact of financial stress on one’s ability to be happy, sometimes that isn’t the area in greatest need of attention. If you can pay your bills, money probably isn’t what’s holding you back from happiness. There’s usually something more pivotal that needs to be addressed.

Think about these areas of your life:

1. Health. How do you feel? Are you keeping your weight down and exercising regularly? Have you been to the doctor lately? How are your teeth? When was the last time you visited the dentist?

1. It’s challenging to enjoy any part of your life if your health is poor. Minor health ailments have a habit of becoming worse over time, especially if they go untreated.

2. Financial. How comfortable are you financially? Can you pay your bills each month and still have enough left over to save and invest the way you’d like?

1. At what age will you be able to retire? What sources of income will fund your retirement? Have you set up a retirement account or taken advantage of one offered through your place of employment?

1. Consider your spending. You may have an income that allows you to live comfortably, but poor spending habits could be causing debt or money challenges.

3. Professional and Career. Do you get a sense of fulfillment from your professional life? Are you on a positive career path? Do you enjoy getting up for work each day? Most of us spend a lot of our waking hours at work. Enjoying these hours is vital to your happiness.

4. Family. How are your relationships with your children and other family members? Do you have the family life you desire?

5. Intimate Relationships. If you’re lacking a romantic partner, would you like one? If you have one, how is your relationship with your significant other? Think about how much turmoil you can introduce into your life by being with a person who isn’t good for you. It could ultimately lead to heartache, divorce, and financial devastation.

6. Social Life. Do you have the social life you want? How many friends do you have? How many friends would you like to have? Do you get out of the house on a regular basis and get together with people you enjoy spending time with?

7. Adventure and Personal Development. Are you growing and developing on a personal level? What exciting activities are you doing in your free time? Have you gone skydiving, started those piano lessons, or learned to speak French? Where would you like to travel?

1. These may be the fun and interesting things you would do if you had the time and money.

Now that you’ve thought about the various components of your life, consider which area needs the most attention. Focusing on that area is important. Most people lack focus altogether or target an area that isn’t necessary.

Try this process to target the areas you want to change:

1. Think about an average day in your life. What do you think about when you first wake up? Do you wish you could stay in bed all day? Are you excited about going to work? How do you feel physically?

1. Mentally look at a day in your life and examine it. What’s great and what could be better? Consider a weekday, weekend day, and one of the big holidays. You might even try taking notes on those days. List your obstacles and anything you might want to change.

2. Rate each area of your life on a scale of 1-10. A “1” is horrible, and a “10” couldn’t be better. Be honest with yourself in your ratings.

3. Imagine what each area would have to look like to become a “10.” How would you feel if that area of your life were close to perfect? Think about the difference between the baseline condition and your imaginary “10” experience.

4. Ask yourself which area would enhance your overall life the most. In most cases, it’s more valuable to bring a “3” up to a “6” rather than try to get a “7” to a “10.”

1. Despite what you might believe, you’re more likely to be miserable due to an inability to pay your bills rather than because you live in a house instead of a mansion. Your disappointments are because your relationship is rocky (or non-existent) and it isn’t because you aren’t dating a guy that looks like Brad Pitt.

1. You can certainly work on all aspects of your life, but focus your attention on the lower rated areas. You can work on the other areas later.

5. Pick the area of your life that will create the biggest impact on your happiness. If you’re invested in making this change, you might as well get the most out of it.

At this point in your life, you’ve probably been stuck for a while, and it will probably take a fair amount of time and effort to get “unstuck.” But, most of us have a limited amount of “extra” time, so picking an area of focus will help ensure that your time is spent wisely. It will also prevent you from attempting to fix too many things all at once.

“Never give up living because of little mistakes,
no matter how far you go in the wrong direction,
there’s always a chance to turn your life around.”

- Kemmy Nola

Take a look at this list of the 20 worst beliefs:

1. Patience is a virtue.

2. I just want to be comfortable.

3. Money won’t make you happy.

4. It’s the journey, not the destination that matters.

5. I don’t have time.

6. I will do it when I get to it.

7. That’s impossible.

8. Time heals.

9. I can’t do that.

10. Thank God it’s Friday.

11. I can’t wait for the weekend to get here.

12. I hate Mondays.

13. Debt is bad.

14. I need to save more money.

15. It’s not my fault.

16. I will be happy when…

17. I am too old (or too young)

18. It is what it is.

19. I don’t like to read.

20. That’s not my job.

Design Your Perfect Day

Another way to get some great ideas for your goal is to design your perfect day from start to finish.

Begin with the first moment you wake up. How are you waking up? What time is it? Who is with you? What do you want to do first?

Then, plan out the rest of your day with a similar level of detail. What would you have for breakfast? Would you have a chef? Where would you be eating it? With whom would you be eating?

Are you going to drive to work? What are you wearing? What kind of car is it? What type of job do you have?

By the time you get to the end of planning your perfect day, you’ll have a pretty good idea of what steps to take as you move toward that life.

Thinking about your perfect day can be a powerful way to frame what you want. Most of us are too busy deciding what’s unwanted in our lives. Sometimes the path to change and knowing what you want isn’t obvious. But keep in mind that you usually have more than two options for most things.

Design your perfect day and you’ll soon be living it!

“It is neither wealth nor splendor; but rather tranquility
and occupation which give you happiness.”

- Thomas Jefferson