In the name of of Allah
the Merciful
Where are you..
..from the beloved of the Heart?!
By:
The Protected by Allah
"What?!.. you don't remember me?!.. oh, brother.. the fever must have affected you..
well, perhaps I'm the best person to remind you..
You got to know me when my mother died and left me her wealth, then I had to move from Russia to yours..to our father..because I was still a minor at about seventeen years old, while you were about twenty-three at the time, that was the first time we met because I was living since I opened my eyes with my Russian mother after my father divorced her...
Of course, like any young man at this age, I was ready to do the impossible to prove that I am smarter and stronger than you, especially, I am not only rich but also have blond hair and blue eyes while you are brown, your eyes are brown and you were just looking for your beginning?!..
So, several months passed, I was not leaving any opportunity to be arrogant without seizing it, but everything that was teasing me was your smile that you used to meet me with every time and your simple answer that shows your
kindness and your good manners, this is what I considered the height of naivety and coldness..!
As for the story, it began when our father suddenly had to travel to Africa for his trade, and then you could not stand the surprise, because that would have forced you to postpone your wedding, and so you mistook -
that day- and talked him with words he was not accustomed to from you..
Maybe if I was the one who said those words, he wouldn't have been angry at all!
Here our father rose standing and anger radiated from his eyes, but he did not say a word.. He entered his room, then the house was filled with horrible silence before we went to sleep, then in the morning we found my father's room empty and when we did not find his suitcase, we knew that the matter had passed and there was no trick in the hand..
Or maybe there.. because that day you were very shocked, and after hours of sitting alone in the dark, you came out of your room carrying a suitcase in your hand, so I couldn't catch myself to let out a sarcastic laugh and say:
- Where is the date of your fiancee?! .. It seems that the matter is even bigger than the fiancee..!
I smiled sarcastically, but your serious looks made my words lose their fun, you went to the door while I said to you:
- To Africa?
And you answered firmly:
- To Africa.
I got up and threw my house clothes, saying:
- I will go with you!
- Why?!
- Well.. I have traveled to Turkey, Europe and even America, but I haven't tried Africa yet..
This will be a special summer vacation!
I hurried to my room, packed my things, filled my pockets with money, put on summer clothes in European style, and I didn't forget my sunglasses either..!
We got into a taxi and headed towards the airport, I still remember that we did not find a flight close, so we traveled to the nearest airport and from there we flight to Africa, passing through the Red Sea and over the vast
lands. The sights from the plane were marvellous, but you were corrupting them with your pale looks!
Quickly, the plane landed and we felt the temperature of the equator hitting our faces while the black eyes ,among their black eyelids, were staring at this blond stranger who was me!
We went outside to experience the scorching African sun for the first time, but drops of sweat was falling on our faces and bodies like torrents..
After I transferred some of my money, we rushed to our destination, heading to the city where our father resides.
Two hours passed before a bus -or what they call a bus- came up, we hardly found a place among the crowds, then the bus set off for us to suffer a hard and hot journey in the vast wilderness of Africa, where the horizon is as wide as the eyes can see..!
An hour passed fine before the old bus broke down, we had to get off and wait for it for an hour or two.
I lay weary under a tree and quickly fell asleep, then when I opened my eyes feeling a stinging sensation under me, the sky was ready to take off its orange robe to put on black, so I got up in fright and shook those ants off me.
While I was dealing with this topic, my memory started to come back to me, so I turned around looking for that bus..or any person of it.. but there was no trace!
These were not just words, but in fact they were disasters!.. Darkness descended and dogs howled from here and there while I was screaming.. The worst of them was that I was screaming.. I was not used to wild life, not even for one day, frankly, I had been fearing of the insects in the city, so how if I am alone in darkness and between the monsters?!... So I have the right to scream!
I screamed and screamed, I did not stop until I felt a hand closing my mouth behind me, I turned to find you behind me, so I opened my mouth in amazement and said eagerly to hear your answer:
- You mean we didn't miss the bus?
- The bus?!... Weren't you who was sitting here watching it impatiently?
- Yes..that was when I had patience, but after my patience ran out, I slept..what about you?..why didn't you wake me up to leave?
- Oh.. I was busy.. and I thought you were waiting for it.. Allah suffices us and He is the best agent!
-Busy?!.. what were you doing?.. Establishing new relationships with Field rats?..or with crows?..don't tell me it's with those howling dogs..
But you did not answer me, however, I did not leave you and insisted on you until you admitted that you were praying all the time until you heard my screams and rushed to me, thinking that I needed help..
Here we realized that we shared in the same anguish and lost our bags, each one because of his whim!
We tried so hard to follow the bus trail through the slivers of savannah in that dark air and on that endless road, you might remember how impossible that was!
Finally, after we were exhausted by fear and tiredness, we decided to look for some shelter, but it did not take long, because I quickly slipped my feet and skated with my whole body on a thorny and harmful slope, it was terrible seconds before everything settled down, and I opened my eyes to find myself in the long grass, among which I glimpsed the full moon light, but I was wounded and in a catastrophic situation...
Worse, I could feel something moving through the lawn from afar, and little by little, the muffled sound was getting closer and closer to me..
I even thought that I was between the jaws of a harmful beast, so my breath stopped, my voice rattled and my eyes narrowed, only the angel of death was the one who sought me, but finally the grass opened to appear... to you appear!!!
To appear with a smile on your face and say to me:
- Praise be to Allah, my Lord! .. I see you well!
At that moment, I wished that the earth would
open up and swallow me up and swallow with me the signs of fear and panic that appeared on my face to hide them from you..
I stood up straight away, despite all the physical pain on me, numb some of my psychological pain and sharpened my hoarse voice to say with artificial firmness:
- From me you learn!
Amidst your questioning looks, I walked in front of you, or I tried to walk hardly!, then we tried to get back on the road when the world around us was darkening!
We walked and walked, but all around us was the tall savannah grass, then at last you said that we should stop until morning came and see the way before we got too far from it..
And so we stopped and swept the grass around us to sleep..
Or so we thought, but the reality is that we did not close our eyes at all, so finally you decided to use the time to pray while I was spending a terrible time driving insects away from me and
watching for the attack of animals..
Part of the night passed before you got tired and went to sleep, but I kept awake dreaming of the day..but no way!
The wild wolf smelled the smell of my blood and hurried to get its share of this wounded prey, its howling sounded, so I woke you up quickly to escape, but it was too late, the wolf had reached us..
The wolf appeared to us - in the moonlight -
from afar, treading cautiously towards us, so I tried to run, but my legs got heavy and I quickly fell to my knees from the intensity of fear..
My teeth almost broke from the intensity of the chatter while that wolf was strutting coming to us until he circled around us, then finally sat down next to you, it put his head on his hands watching you while you pray quietly..!
When you finished your prayer, you wiped his head for a while, actually it seemed so happy, then he got up and took one last look at you then went on his way..!
You lay down to sleep without noticing that something had happened to me or that I needed help, while I spent the rest of the night trying to relieve my severe muscle spasm so that I could walk, and I explained what had happened to myself saying: Maybe he wasn't hungry..!
Finally, the dawn came hardly, the light began to creep over the universe, so we did the ablution with dust and prayed the Dawn-Prayer, then we tried to find the way, but it was no way between all this long grass..
We saw water, so we approached it, hoping that we might find someone of our kind, but we did find kinds other than our own kind!
We found elephants, eagles and little hyenas were stealing drinks of the water during the unawares of the elephants!
There are types of birds, which we did not know about and what we did not know.. In the face of all this, we watched these strange creatures with astonishment, and then we got used to the scene, so we tried to go around the pond, but you suddenly left me and headed towards it, I
shouted:
- Crazy!.. come back!
But you did not turn to me, you approached little by little to the water with confidence, as if you were alone!.. The elephants looked at you angrily at first, but it was all the wonder that none of them stopped you!
You began to do ablution with all tranquility among those monsters in the midst of my eyes, my
jaw
was
hanging
from
excessive
astonishment!
Then you came back to me after you had did the Dawn-Prayer again with an ablution with water and said to me:
- If you want to do an ablution with water, go, otherwise let us go.
Since I don't want you to feel that you are better than me, I didn't say a word, but I started walking with hundreds of words floundering in my head!
After that a smoke appeared to us from afar, so we thought it was the fire of humans, we ran
towards it, but were surprised that many animals were running in the opposite direction that we found it difficult to pass between them, but we came up on the edge of a sharpe slope..
As soon as we approached, it became clear that it was a fire covering the horizon, burning the country and the people.. I did not come out of my astonishment but only when you whispered:
- It must be that fire that the tribes kindle to burn the grass and fertilize the pasture..
We tried to get away from it, but the cliff betrayed and taunted us. The rock broke under my feet, so I held on to you, hoping to prevent my body from falling. But ,on the contrary, we fell together...
It seemed that I fainted, because when I opened my eyes, I found myself lying, my left leg stuck to the stones, I tried hard to get it out, but the pain increased to no avail..
I stayed for a while before I saw you coming with a somber face, you blindfolded your hand with a piece of your clothes as if it were
wounded, while you were carrying a knife in the other, then you said to me with sadness that squeezes your words:
- Brother.. in fact, we are about to roast, and I don't think we have more than half an hour to act..
I inform you that I tried to free your leg from the stones, to no avail. The stones are too heavy for me to carry with one hand, since the other is wounded, as soon as I used it, it begins to bleed, and so.. .
Your tongue fell silent for a while, while your eyes began to speak of sorrow, then you added:
- Brother, it must be cut off..
Unconsciously, I screamed while sparks flying from my eyes:
- No, never... Do you want me to live lame for the rest of my life??
- Unfortunately, this is better than death.
- Death is better than this.. What is the value of life when everyone despise me?!..I am one-legged man?! ..no..and thousand of no..
I was silent for a while, panting in anger, and
then said firmly:
- You go.. save yourself..I decided to die!
I threw myself on the land lying down while you stood confused.. but your reaction was simply that you turned towards the Kiblah (the destination of Muslim prayer) and started praying as usual..
So I cried curiously:
-Ah..is this the time for prayer?!.. Can you not take two steps without praying?!
Minutes passed like embers, the horrific smell of fire stuck in my nose, so I started imagining how my handsomeness would be in a few minutes..
I felt a movement behind me, so I held myself until I turned, but I did not know what misfortune fell on my head when I saw a black giant behind me.. hair standing disgustingly, lips like beaks.. teeth on the neck and bones and skulls of birds on the waist as if he was a devil!
Without thinking, I stammered:
- So what they are saying is true!..there is an
angel of death and he..appears to the people of Hell in an ugly look..!
I began to lament myself, the land narrowed in my eyes despite its width, I wished that my life would be long, even for a day, so that I would reconcile what is between me and my Lord.
All this was in a moment.. and at that moment you finished your prayer and turned around, filled with panic because of my words, you thought that I was dying, but you said trying to calm me down:
- Take it easy, brother.. this is a person of flesh and bone, not death angel or anything else!
In fact, I had never seen any of the men of the African tribes except in pictures, but the reality and the difficulty of the situation made it different anyway..!
Here, he came to us after realizing that we are peaceful,
with
his
huge
muscles
and
experience, he saved my leg in seconds!
He started pointing at us and speaking to us with strange words that were not related to any language as it seemed to me.. Then we
understood that he wanted us to go with him, but when he found me unable to walk, he held my hands with two iron fists and carried me on his back and started wading through the bushes with great skill and speed.. You found it hard to catch up, but in the end you did!
So we bid farewell to the wicked fire, with all its sorrows and griefs, and reached the huts of the tribe, where we could see many of its strange-styled members staring at the newcomers with unbearable looks!
The man took me into his house and threw me harshly on a heap of straw then went out, I got contemplating the hut around me and its strangeness and simplicity..
A long time passed without anything happening, but the pain of my leg and the rest of my wounds exhausted me after I stayed up the night before, so my eyes overcame me despite everything that was going on in my mind, then I fell into a deep sleep..
When my feeling came back to me, I felt the sun's rays warming my face, I opened my eyes recalling my memory of yesterday..
I got up and looked out the window, it was morning, then I looked next to me; there was some soup and two fruits.
I was absolutely hungry, so I ate the soup despite it tested not very good, but I ate the fruits with appetite, although, I wasn't satiated, so I stared at the door, and at these moments you came in from it, but your clothes were very dirty, and you had seemed browner, but you still maintained your smile, so you greeted me and said:
- Brother..we must thank Allah for escaping that fire..but know that we are in a situation that requires patience...
- Patience?!..why patience??..in all cases, I will not be patient..but what about you?..why are your clothes like this?
- Because I spent the rest of yesterday working in the field of the man who saved us by Allah's willing.
- You work??.. Is this their duty of hospitality?!
- Hospitality?!.. who told you that we are guests?!.. he brought us as a booty!
- booty???
I put my hands on my head in shock, then I turned and screamed:
- I work as a forced laborer??... Impossible!..
- Not everything -that the person wish- will happen to him....
- .... But the winds flows as my ship desires..
Praise be to Allah, I am injured.. I am not benefiting for any work!
I paused for a while, then added:
- But, what about you? .. how do you accept this insult with such simplicity??
- What to do?
- Run away, for example.
- And leave my injured brother alone?!
- Who said that your injured brother will stay here?!...
Here that black man entered the hut and made gestures ordering you to go to work, then as soon as you came out, he grabbed a heap of straw and threw it at me, wanting me to weave baskets and bowls of straw for him..
But he was astonished when I made him understand that I am good at nothing of that
work, but no problem; he quickly brought someone to teach me, then his stick forced me against my will to start work.
It is strange that the straw hat that I was wearing all the time was what caught his attention, so he asked me to make many for him, then he got selling them, afterward day by day, many of the people of the tribe got wearing like my hat!
My recovery days were long while I was making this straw in a monotonous and boring way.. I hated myself when I thought about tourism and lamented my dreary summer vacation, so I got planning and dreaming of escape and freedom..
The day came when my foot was healed, so that black drove me to work in the field with you.
My misfortune was when I failed to escape in the first time, he caught me and tied me up, so I lost even my narrow freedom.
I will not forget the first days of my misery..
Those moments are horrible, I grieve for my pride and have to work.. which work?!.. harvest and tillage.. oh!.. how much those nights were
black, those which ,in their daylights, my dear honor had been injuring..
On the other hand, my white body, which was raised in luxury and pampering, refused, like me, to bear working with the sickle, or raising the pickaxe, or digging holes..
In other words, you can imagine the pain in the back, the spasm of the muscles, and the soreness of the soft, tender fingertips..
But do not ask me about my handsomeness in that scorching sun.. As for the strange thing I remember about you in this, you were working the harvest with your right hand in the midst of all that scorching sun, but although, you never sweated or got hot, I thought at first that this was a normal thing or that you might get used to it and soon I will..
But after I started working, I discovered that this is impossible in the unforgiving sun of Africa, although I was wearing my straw hat while You don't!!..
After days of ignoring the matter, my patience ran out and my anger filled me, so I allowed
myself to give up some of my pride and ask you about the secret of this strange matter.. So I confronted you in the field, which angered you and asked you:
- Can I know why you took that ointment without me? .. I thought you were generous and concerned about your brother, so why did you become scarce when difficulties came?!
You looked at me questioningly, but then smiled when you understood what I meant, you put the basket from your hand and said:
- Yes, and dignity.. I will give it to you!.. You should have asked me about it from the beginning..
I was a little ashamed of myself, but I pretended that I wasn't, I looked eagerly at your hands to see where you were going to take him out, but instead you shook your hands and then gently held my hand and said:
- In the beginning the sun burned me and got me what Allah wanted, especially since we are the people of the city.
The sun hardly knows us and we don't know it, but Allah guided me to resort to him when I was praying my Dawn-Prayer, so I started to
pray in it when I raised my hand to Allah gets the difficulty of this sun away from me..
As Allah has always been an old benefactor, He did not disappoint my hope and responded to me with his grace and good generosity!.. I will not tell you a specific formula. The important thing is that you pray with hope and from your heart in any dialect and in any language.. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing, and with his servants, he is very merciful!
It seems that I could not conceal my astonishment at your ointment, because you answered me:
- Do not be surprised.. It is true that it is not a touchable ointment as you thought, but you will see that the sun will become colder than the shade!
My face changed in denial at the moment that the black shouted at us from afar to work.. so we separated unwillingly..
All night long I began to compel my arrogant self to try this ointment -if I should call it that-because of what I suffer from the sun and what
it might be of its benefit.
Finally, at the dawn of that night, I forced myself and tried as hard as I could to pray, hoping...as the arrogance of the youth allowed me to, of course!
This was not easy for a person who does not maintain his prayer at all..if I did not say that he hardly prayed..so, in this unacceptable state of vanity and uncertainty, of course, this ointment would not have helped me..but I could not deny the fact that this ointment is useful because you You used it every day in front of my eyes!
The long monotonous days passed, strutting over my torment and pain. As for you, your greatest concern was to pray, and since you could have done so, may the world be in peace!
Despite our disagreement, we spent more than three months with them, in which we learned somethings
about
their
language,
their
ridiculous traditions, and their pagan religious customs that have nothing of reason. But the only thing I concluded is that they were generally simple kind people, even though some of them weren't..
On one of th monotonous days, while I was yawning and impatiently waiting for the sun to leave so that it was time to sleep, I heard a muffled laughter coming through the bushes.
I looked closely to see what was going on, I saw a small black thing that was moving, it took a while until I realized that he was a child from the tribe, about eight or nine, and noticed from the earrings and colors -that he was wearing- that he was the son of the leader.
Soon a smile rose on my face and I began to signal you from afar to come, and as soon as you came, I told you, excited and overjoyed:
- Come and enjoy your revenge!!
- Revenge?!
- Yes.. let's make our hearts anger go by seeing the little son of the leader while he is getting killed!
- What?!..but he's a child..
Another laugh rose in the place, so you threw yourself between the bushes in that air of sunset, you threw yourself without care for any danger, and stood with your pick in front of that hyena, who was shocked to see you after he
had secured his prey!
It
recalculated,
apparently,
because
he
retreated a little bit and howled lightly, and then ran away without any attack or greed..!
That child shouted, lashing out at the hyena, as if he was who had defeated it, then he told you something we did not understand, then he went to his father to tell him the news..
As for me, I was filled with rage, I hit your back saying:
- I'm calling you to join me, although, you missed the chance, you idiot!
- Brother.. you must realize that morals and principles are above everything, no matter what the cost.. just as he is just a child who has no guilt! anyway..
And here the black came and took us to sleep..
and a little time had passed before they came and took you, so I spent the night alone..
When I woke up in the morning, I found you sitting next to me worried as if the disasters of the world had fallen on your head, so
immediately I asked you:
- Where were you yesterday?
- What do I tell you?!.. that boy.. told them about me and about the hyena.. and since he is the son of the leader, he decided to prove to them his sincerity and so they decided to take me to the lions' den to test that..
- How did you understand all this?
- I tried to connect the words I understood.. Our living with them these months taught us their language, whether we like it or not..
- True.. as they say that the best way to learn another language is to live among its people who do not know the language of the learner..
In any case, since you are you, there is no problem. As soon as the lion sees you, he will die of fear from you!
I burst out laughing, but your gloomy looks made my laugh ridiculous. I said in amazement:
- Is this really what saddens you?!..you are the one who challenged the elephants and subdued the hyena..you are the conqueror of monsters!!
For the first time, you could not take my words with your patience, so you exploded, saying:
- You also say that?!..there is no omnipotent but Allah!!..there is no omnipotent but Allah!!
You sighed angrily and then said, trying to be calm:
- Brother!..be wary of such this words..you know that I am not, and it is not for me to do that except by Allah's permission..
All what is in the matter is that I resort to Allah as a weak servant with all my heart, for the sake of a noble goal..and that is not related to me only; I mean we are all servants of Allah and all animals are created by him and his forelocks are in his hand..
- Well, I understand.. I did not ask you to give me a lesson in religion.. what you said is not inconsistent with your situation now..
- Quite the contrary.. the disease of good will is self-admiration.. My goal behind this will certainly be not noble, but rather to prove myself in their eyes because of the benefits that this entails.. You can imagine with me how difficult it is to be sincere in these sensitive
moments!
It was not hidden because of your writhing voice that you tried to hide your tears.. So you immediately turned and started praying as usual, I didn't stay long before that black man took me to work..
It was noon before I got news about you.. but I notice that all the members of the tribe, men and women.. old men and children, set out towards the east..even the black man who used me was not watching me, so I knew that everyone hurried to see your battle or your death!
Quickly I untied my rope since I was not observed, then I, too, set off towards the east, perhaps - I am your brother - so I was the most deserving of those present to know your fate!
I went in my way, following the deep traces that left by an entire tribe on the land, so I came easily to their gathering place, but I found no place for myself, nor with difficulty!
But if I was deprived of sight, I could smell the
scent of lions, and their loud roaring sounded almost deafening my ears.
I tried to get as close as possible, but I heard them say that it was three lionesses with their cubs.
As soon as those lionesses sensed the danger to their cubs, they roared in anger, and here the little girls ran away with fear, and the women retreated a little.
So I found the opportunity and squeezed myself among the men's rows to find that the den was a bit far as a safety distance, but I could easily see you standing next to the den..You were not in your best situation, because I knew you in a state of fear and surrender..
The lionesses stood for a while to examine their prey, then one of them came forward and stumbled to pounce on you.. Your reaction was the opposite of all the expectations that were woven around you and waiting from you. You turned until you were the opposite of the lioness,
so I understood that you turned towards the Kiblah as usual - and shouted as loud as you could, as if you wanted to wrap yourself up in a word:
- Allah Akbar, Allah is the greater!!!!
Then you fell down in prostration as in prayer..
A few moments passed or not before that lioness jumped on you.. The young women turned their faces while the men frowned..
As for the leader's son, he melted in shame while the young men shouted disappointment and ridicule... As for me, I started imagining my father's reaction when I tell him about you with such news..!
It was a really distasteful situation...especially, when the other two lionesses joined the first feast.
- But hey..!
A young man shouted from the tree:
- Look carefully!
So the eyes looked with passion and curiosity to see that miracle..yes..for the members of the tribe, it was a real miracle that could only
have been made by a powerful and mighty god!
Those ferocious animals that man has only known as killing and ripping machines know neither pity for prey nor mercy. They were hugging you and licking your face like any small puppy!!!... As for the cubs, they started playing around with you as if you were one of them who came after a long journey! !!
This scene was shining in the eyes of the members of the tribe fascinated by this greatness..
As soon as you came out from the den, thanking Allah was adorning your face, and quickly you were taken by hands, held by necks, and the souls saw you great, and soon they formed a great procession for you, then the sound of the sons of Adam resounded as they all cheered, in groups and alone what you called when Allah responded to you:
- Allah Akbar.. Allah is great!!!!
Even though if they don't understand what it means!!
The big procession passed in front of my
stunned looks, my jaw hanging an inch from the horror of what I saw..
- Your brother, whom you have always despised, is on the necks?!
This is what my soul was repeating with a burning heart that covered the place around me, so I no longer realized what I was doing, I started walking and walking and doing unconsciously.. but suddenly I woke up to the voice of that black man who used me saying to me with all the harshness:
- Come on, enough work for today.
His words surprised me, because I wasn't working!.. I looked around and saw me in his field and felt that my hand was heavy, so I raised it to my eyes, and there was the shovel in it, also I found my breath fast as if I had just finished my work..
- So I was working?!!
This is what I was repeating surprisingly as I returned to the hut .. But was that a dream?!
I hoped that it would be so, but I suddenly realized that I was not tied up, and found on my
hands dyes that had resulted from my crowding with the tribe's youth who show off their dyes.
And since you did not come to sleep, I finally realized that I returned to the field absent-minded and began to work without my awareness, but the worst of that was that I missed the opportunity to escape, as I realized in anger that your highness was the truth... It was the reality... The bitter reality....
This is in my view. As for honesty, I have not seen it bitter except because of the bitterness of myself, its jealousy and its harshness..
however, do not be surprised that I frank you with this and other things, admitting guilt is a virtue, I recite this story after I got looking at it for regard, nether for bemoan, nor for proud..
On the first night, I did not fully comprehend it, so I could sleep, but the next day, I tried to reject to going to work, but the stick threw me again into misery, and the only result of my rebellion was that I was deprived of breakfast.
Thus, I had no choice but to carry the vegetables and fruits to the village market as
he wanted, trampling my hunger and pain with every step..
And when I finished, the sun had also reached the heart of the sky, so I could hear your voice..
Your voice while you were calling the call to prayer..
That was the first time that the African plains heard the call to prayer.. and the members of the tribe came to Friday prayer in droves after they had learned to pray.. actually, I was not surprised at all, because these simple people follow the religion of their leader.. It is enough that their leader becomes Muslim, and so, they all will become Muslim at once..!
On the melodies of your melodious voice, I realized that this beautiful voice drank from the cup of satiety and comfort that I was deprived of.. Only that supernatural power - as I used to call it - separated you off me, which is yours and not mine.
Here, the damned Satan played that flute, and word after word, I felt that my heart had become like an ember, I did not know if it was myself or Satan who was shouting at me:
- Since when have you been satisfied with humiliation??!.. since when have you been satisfied with humiliation??!.. since when have you been satisfied that this deception is better from you??..you are who is you..you are you!!!
People came out of the new mosque while I was finally filled with anger and jealousy.. I don't know if I tried to curb my rebellion or if it was only the voice of my reason which tried to stop me in vain ..
With a reckless blow I spilled all the fruits from the baskets that I had and those of others, then I trampled on them as hard and violent as I could while laughing hysterically!
What helped me was that all the men were in the mosque, so I took advantage of the opportunity and spoiled the crops, but soon the prayer ended and the black eyes caught me with malice.
They got beating and punching me, anf one of them shouted to kill this ominous white man, but an old man stopped them all and advised them to take my matter to their wise leader.
In fact, this is what happened, and they put me
in the hands of their leader, he said to me, with awe dripping from his face:
- Why did you do this, white man? .. Perhaps you have an excuse for this..
- Huh?!..maybe because I got tired of the white color and decided to become colorful!..with blue, green and violet!!
I burst out laughing with sarcasm, and by that I meant the colors of bruises that I got from the beatings..
Certainly no one was satisfied with my method in talking with the leader, but he stopped them in order to.. in order to consult you about my matter while you was sitting to his right and wore a white dress after you washed from the dirty of farming, and returned clean..
You and I exchanged looks.. It was clear that no one guessed that we are brothers. You look like your mother and I look like my mother.
Indeed, our resemblance to our father rarely meets.
And so the leader asked you:
- What does our religion say about such an aggressor, Sheikh?
I don't think that any of those present missed the quick trial you conducted in yourself, but none of them guessed the reason.. So you finally said:
- The aggressor should be a guarantor of everything he damaged.
You seemed to slack off and then said in a low voice, as if you were stealing words before your self knows:
- And also to be punished so that no one allows himself to commit such a riot.
The leader agreed with your opinion, and since I had no money here, they sentenced me to work a year for everyone I had hurt, from that hateful black to five other people.
Then they brought me an hangman that flogged me with thirty lashes. It was as pain as leaving parents, and it burned for eternity!
What a night that night was, as if there was no night after that.. A dark night of dark and buried hatred, while I was between them, frying in my laying because of the fire of whips.
Finally, dawn crept after a long torment, and
that hater came to drive me to work, and how great was his astonishment when I expressed great reluctance, despite all the harm I had faced.
Today, the son of the Russian is not the same as him yesterday.. A fire bath is not like a water bath.. the anger of a tiger is not like the anger of a fox.. There is nothing like anything now..
The whole world is worth zero in my eyes.. The zero hour has come!!
Although the stick forced me to bend, I made my medicine from my decease. With a movement I tightened my back, and with a headbutt I struck his jaw that threw him back, and before he regained his balance I was with a punch like a knife, I stabbed his stomach!
He tried very hard to defend himself from this unexpected
attack,
indeed,
he
almost
succeeded if I had not pulled his knife and.....
Peace be upon the world.. I got rid of my oppressors.. This is what is important.. I became free.. This is the most important.. I went out the door rejoicing at my victory smelling the scent of freedom that which was
added to rain smell!
Yes.. the rain, because it was raining heavily, my feet were sinking in the mud, so in general there was no one outside his hut, it was not just rain, but it was a unique seasonal storm, perhaps more like this one in me..!
The lightning started striking and burning, and the sound of thunder shook the horizon, but this did not pose a danger to me, as I had just emerged from a thousand dangers, so I sat off with uncared steps, nether fear, nor scared...
I reached the borders of the village and almost passed them down if I hadn't tipped over an animal's corpse, I stood up trying to remove the mud from me when I saw something moving from close by, so I got closer and saw the ghost of a person praying... in the middle of the rain?! Yes, in the rain!
Of course, I didn't put in much effort before I knew it was you, but why in the midst of the storm?.. So I stood at your head while you were finishing your prayer, so you greeted and stood up to see me.. You, too, did not did an effort to know that I am your brother whom you
condemned to pain and caused him all sorrow..
I looked at you with unfriendly looks, of course, while your eyes tried to excuse me before you took off your robe and covered my skinny body with it and gave me a loaf of soft bread, saying sweetly:
- I , also, could not sleep tonight and would rather sleep in the cold outside than be comfortable while you are tormenting.
I only answered you with incendiary looks that ignited an arrow that passed from your eyes to your heart, to split it and make it suffer bad torment..
You looked away from my eyes and sighed saying:
- The man must speak the truth, even against himself or his family..
I would have liked not to tell you this.. the right was yours since you were wronged, but now it is against you when you harmed others and became unjust..
- No problem, my brother.. If you bear this answer, I will not ask you for anything else!
These words of mine had made you optimistic, so you raised your surprised eyes to see my answer, which is that I raised my knife to fall on you, but your answer is actually the one that shocked me.
As you did with those elephants, or with that hyena, or even with lionesses; You did not move a finger and your eyelashes did not tremble.. In short, you did nothing to the point that I wondered if you had a sudden stroke because of seeing the knife that completely paralysed you or made you unable to express!!
And since my conscience does not condone me for a crime like this, your method of confusing me succeeded, and in one moment you had pounced on me and threw me to the ground while you were holding my arms on the ground and saying:
- Didn't you notice when you raised your hand with the knife to the thunderbolt that unloads its charge at the top of what is capable of that..
How easy it was for Allah to roast your wrongness with it so that you never raise your head..!
You raised your voice a little and said:
- Brother, if you cannot be patient, do not let the dread throw you into the abyss!
I told you:
- Save your advice for yourself, who spent his day in the shade and the drink!... Oh... I forgot to congratulate you on your wedding to that gorilla, the leader's daughter..!!
I said it and malicious laughter appeared on my face, so you stood up and said:
- Person is his heart, not his mold.. At least this woman prays happily and regularly, she is not like you...
You were silent as if you regretted confronting me with my truth in this way, so I laughed and said sarcastically:
- How amazing you are!..how did you know that I haven't prayed any prayer since you left me!
I said it and burst out laughing in front of your confusion as malice permeated my soul, then I grabbed my feelings and said seriously:
- Tell me.. Do you think it is fair that Allah gives you that supernatural ability to raise you with it
and does not give me even though we are brothers?!
You immediately exploded:
- How many times have I told you that it is not a superpower?!!.. Allah will not deprive you of this and more if you are sincere and you are as he loves and is pleased with.. you or any of his creatures!
I did not give you an answer more than that I turned to you and went to my destination with a high head and a raised nose, filled with arrogance as much as I could, in order to kill my conscience, which was storing me crying:
- How did you dare say these words, you ungrateful?.. you forgot the past seventeen years when you have been rolling in bliss?!..
you forgot how much you bragged to your brother about what Allah gave you though you had no hand in getting it?!..because he was better than you for only two days, you have got saying that this is not fair?!
But I walked in that vast, sprawling wilderness that rain was pouring on it from all sides.. I muttered with pride:
- All beings are hidden from this rain except
me!!.. Neither rain nor anything else will stop me after today.. I will let the universe know who I am!
Afar, a group of elephants appeared to me, they were among a number of trees as a shelter, or I should call them bushes for their size!, they were waiting for the rain to stop.
Indeed, I reached them and got into their area, so the herd looked at me and started moving their huge ears and making a loud hum, it seemed to me that they did not like me, but I am on my decision!
So I approached them, two or three steps.. This is what I remember.. Immediately their leader stood up for me, I tried hard not to be afraid, but my legs betrayed me - thanks Allah they did!
- they ran relentlessly while the huge elephant was chasing me.. I don't think the chase lasted for more than half a minute But as a result, I slipped in the mud and rolled down a slope that was there, and on a thorn bush I landed and...aaaah....
I gathered my strength with difficulty to get up
from the thorns, but a prick from here and another from there were tearing this soul between my side..
Finally I was able to get up and looked for the elephant, and when I could not find it, I knew that it had finished its duty!
Then while I was trying to remove the mud and thorns from me, I noticed that I had a foul smell in my nostrils with all the meanings of this word..After strenuous efforts to remove the mud from my hands, I brushed the mud off my eyelids and searched for the source of the smell.
Face to face with a huge wild boar rubbing its canine and snarling at me.. I didn't need anyone to explain to me that I fell into its hole, because I had sped off and trampled on thorns with my bare feet to escape from its face..
I ran a good distance before I got out of his area and then.. Then I collapsed on the ground, and there was not a hair on my body that did not hurt me..
Despite the nose of this arrogant person - who is me - the tears fled and the heartburn began
to burn the heart and the entrails with the fires of humiliation.
- What took me out of my silk bed among my family and threw me on thorns and mud in the middle of the desolate wilderness of Africa?!..
what changed the study pen to the sickle of farming?!
But a moaning voice answered me:
- Wouldn't you like to have some fun and have a special summer vacation?
So I wept and cried and wished that I had not been born and did not see this day..but what would benefit me?..the cold and hunger ate my guts, while the thorns and tiredness ate my muscles.. the reality is real..and there is no getaway for me..
The ungrateful person inside me slept, frankly I wish
that
he
died..
and
then
myself
remembered after a long time, so my self began practicing its original hobby of blame, admonition and bitter torment, it started screaming at me:
- This is what you did when you denied and said that Allah was not just with you despite all that he gave you..
- But I did it for you.. you wanted to be big, you were not satisfied with humiliation!
- Never!.. you didn't advise me.. you knew the consequences, then although, you did it..
- But I am not the blamed.. You also heard my brother's warning with your own ears.
- Don't blame me..you heard it too..and instead of advising me and protecting me from things that are fatal, you took it recklessly and neglected my dignity..
Its screams rose, its moaning deafened my ears, so the land narrowed me down though its width, and I did not find a refuge from Allah except to Him.
Against my will, I screamed and cried out among the tears and gasps.
- Oh Allah..forgive me..please...
My voice echoed in the place while I called out to the Lord of the heavens..May he answer..All my misery and my torment would vanish with a
word from Him, or rather with a letter..and what an easy is the letter for humans, so how about the Lord of humans?!
All of this words - which if I had heard them in the past, I would have underestimated it - was emanating from inside me and my heart witnessed it and stamped with its ten fingers for its truth!
Yes.. This is me and you in adversity..This is the human!
I am not going to mention everything to you..
but it is enough for you to know that Allah had mercy upon me..beginning with the stopping of the rain, then the darkness dissipated with the brightness of the sun of Africa that raised over the country and people to take the water vapor to rise and the mud to dry up little by little..
For my side, I felt such a beautiful warmth that I fell asleep despite my pain, or perhaps fainted from its severity!
When I opened my eyes, I opened them to the singing of birds, so I got up to find the mud had dried up on me, so I began to peel and remove
it..
The best thing that Allah bestowed upon me was that most of the thorns got stuck in the mud and plucked with it, so I got rid of them easily and got up overwhelmed with pleasure!
Because of my extra pleasure, I wanted to pray as you do, so I did my ablution and started to pray!
Of course, that prayer was not just a prayer.. In fact, I have to admit that it was not the same prayer that I used to pray with bored or absent-minded.. I wished at that time that I was not wounded in order to pray and pray!
But I was very hungry, so I lay down and waited for what Allah would do with me.. During that, I noticed that I was next to a tree, I traced its leg by my eyes, and saw a bush on which black balls were hung next to the tree.
I returned my gaze to the sky and the clouds before I quickly rose to the bush, after I had realized too late that it was the cranberry..!
Cranberries we buy from the market with two coins, but at that time it was worth the money
of the world!
I got eating with the fullness of my appetite, I don't think I left any of them on the bush...
While my heart was filled with praise to Allah, I understood for the first time the meaning of hunger and satiety, and the meaning of thanking and gratitude!
Unlike before, I lay on the grass; The stomach was filled with calm heart, and soon that wounded man fell into a deep sleep..
When I woke up at dawn -the next day-, I woke up energetic and immediately did my ablution and prayed Dawn-Prayer..
Then as soon as I finished I went in the land of Allah, that savannah was no longer a savannah, but in my eyes it became the "Kingdom of Allah", and everything that moved or made a voice became "by the power of Allah", and my movements became "with Allah's permission"!
If I had kept myself in that clarity enough to see things that way always, I would have been able to do what you could do, Allah willing, but a sudden sound took me and got me out of my thoughts and bring me back to my original, a
loud voice that is like a cock crow, so I trembled against my will and then rose quickly towards that sound..
It wasn't far away.. I approached little by little, then I opened the tall grasses, I was happy when I saw a group of turkeys circling around the place.. In fact, they were nothing but grilled chickens walking on the ground in my eyes!
Immediately, I set a trap for one of them and caught it easily, thanks Allah.. I swept a place of grass and lit a fire, by that the roasting party began, and the fabulous smell tickled me, so I smiled at it with a hungry smile, which is not any smile!!
Do not ask me about the taste of that meat, for even if it was not recommended for spices or salt, it tasted unforgettable..believe it or not..food is only for the hungry!
Among the whispers of flesh, I suddenly heard:
- Feed me.. Allah feed you!
I turned and saw in front of me a thin old man with a shaggy silver beard, barefoot and bad-dressed, his job was: Feeding me..Allah feed
you!.. What a job!
And what a calamity; my soul got in conflict with me, my stomach got screaming at me, my conscience is talking me off and my soul reminds me of my previous repentance..
This frenzy lasted for seconds before my goodness overpowered my evil and then I gave him a piece of my delicious roast.
He smiled at me widely and sat next to me devouring it with greed and appetite while telling me - like any old man - the story of his life.
Although I did not understand everything he was saying, I understood when we reached the conclusion that after the death of his children in the civil war, he sold his house and practiced beggary and began to roam between the two cities every month in search of benefaction and benefactors....
Of course, this caught my attention, and I no longer heard anything else, I don't know if he was silent or not when I asked him:
- So can you took me to the nearest town from here?
- Of course, but since yesterday I started my journey to the farthest city, and I cannot return to it again.
- Don't go back, just show me the bus road.
- You mean the flat carriageway.. well.. it's not far from here anyway..
And out of my joy at the news, I gave him what was left of the roast on the account that I would arrive today to the city and he never mind!
As soon as we finished eating, we started walking, and then I began to ask myself who the old man among us was?!.. he was several meters ahead of me and had to wait for me at last..!
Indeed, it was not midday before we reached that road, so I thanked him and went in the direction he had set for me, but after I walked for a while, I realized that the nearby city is far away for my speed!
So I prayed and rested a little when I heard the roar of what isn't from the sounds of nature, so I listened carefully and realized that it was the sound of an old bus from the buses of this
country.. I looked at that direction eagerly, then after a while, I saw a blue bus like the one we came with, so I stood at the side waiting for it to stop, but...
That bastard driver went without looking at me..
So I ran after him. Contrary to my race with that old man, I managed to overtake the speed of that old bus with a little effort, so I stood in front of him and forced him to stand, so that driver got his head out from his window and started yelling at me threateningly, but immediately I recognized him.. He is the same bastard driver who we came with then left us and went without the slightest of the responsibility!
I became furious with anger, and I approached him excitedly, I got screaming at him, too, and reminding him of his bad deed with us, and asking him for that money we had paid for him, since I have no money at that time!
Our voices became louder and our quarrel crossed the border, so that driver came down from his throne to knock me down, but no way, the sickle and the ax polished my muscles!
We wrestled hard, the punches was falling from and on me until he finally fainted, so I breathed a victorious sigh though my body was complaining to me of its pain!
Those curious eyes -that were staring anxiously from the windows of the bus at that blond-haired, black-bodied homeless man with a strange story- caught my eyes, their fate was in his hands... I finally answered them by deed, not by saying.
I dragged the driver and threw him on the seat next to the driver's seat and drove the worn-out bus with difficulty, I was used to drive my mother's modern car, which I was stealing from her from time to time until I drove it well!
It was not easy, but fortunately for me, the passengers were old men, women and children, and none of them opposed me, so I got trying and trying until I succeed, then we sat off finally by the blessing of Allah!
It took almost two hours or less before the city appeared to us, so the passengers yelled happily, not only because they arrived, but also because they escaped their obsessions around
me..!
Indeed, I stopped the bus at the first queue and we all got off, leaving the driver in his compulsive nap, and as soon as I walked a few steps, I felt someone follow me, so I turned and saw a gray-white man of the cheerful type looking at me with curious and questioning looks, so I exchanged looks for a moment before asking me:
- Aren't you the son of...?
He hesitated because of my atrocious sight, while I remembered that I saw his face among the passengers on the bus and found myself suddenly shouting with glee:
- You're dad's friend!
- So my thoughts were true!.. Awesome!.. your father will be happy now and finally leave his sorrows!..
He took my hand and pulled me through the streets of that city, telling me about my father's misery for the past period, and that he had not returned to Africa until a few days ago, after he lost hope of finding us.
Soon we entered the building and went upstairs, the man knocked on the door of our father's apartment with obvious eagerness, so we heard the used answer:
- Come in. The door is open..
We entered to find an old man sitting at his desk not taking his eyes off the paper in his hand.. No.. he is not an old man.. he is my father!!!!
I stood dumbfounded... Where are your youth, Dad?!.. Where are the beautiful brown hair?!..
Where did those folds on your face come from?!
This is about me.. As for my father's friend, he stood in front of my father's office and laughed when he said to him:
- Guess who came to visit you today!
My father answered, with boredom and gloom:
- Who?
But when his friend answered him with a muffled laugh, curiosity took him, he raised his eyes a little without raising his head.. and as soon as he saw me, with an involuntary movement, he turned back and dived into his
chair while his eyes narrowed!
A few seconds passed in which we exchanged looks without one of us uttering a word, then he tried to stand and get out from behind his desk..
He came close to me and put his hands on my shoulder, his eyes became the street of thousands of words that were passing through them like lightning..
Finally, it rained; his tears fell like pearls on his cheeks as he said in a trembling voice:
- What is wrong with you, my son? .. What is the matter with you, my love?
He held back his voice and let out a gasp before saying with sorrow dripping from his words:
- I see you... I see you skinny as if you have eaten so little... I see you dirty as if you haven't showered since I left you.. I see you gloomy as if you were oppressed.. I see you wounded as if you came out of a punishment... I see you awfully colored as if you got out from a fight..I see you rough as if you haven't dressed for months..I see you as rough as if you spent the days in hard work..
Then he gasped in agony and added:
- Even your bald chin got covered in a beard..
Here he could no longer stop his tears from flowing like a torrential stream to destroy what was left of the youth of his face...
As for what I regret most, because I was so ashamed of my abusive looks -that though I was the one who boasted about the universe with my appearance and elegance- , I answered all these intense emotions and caring looks by telling him coldly:
- How amazing you are, Dad!!.. you knew my whole story without saying a word!.. Now let me take a shower, eat and rest.. I can't afford myself anymore..
I left him and he left me, but his looks still hugging me, but I went to my work.. First I took a shower and I think that my bath took hours..
Then when I went out, I found that my father had prepared new clothes for me, and when I did not find him at home, I began to try on clothes and look in the mirror and ask it
whether my face is still handsome or not..!
But before it gave me a satisfactory answer, my father had returned with the ghost of a smile on his face and in his hand various types of delicious food.
I devoured them with every appetite I found while he was watching me with pleasure and pouring on me the various kinds of feelings he found!
As soon as I finished my meal, I prayed Evening
- Prayer and searched for a place to sleep. My father said to me:
- Go into my room and sleep on my bed, son.
- But what about you, my father? .. Where will you sleep?
- Don't worry.. you have the right to be pampered now.. as for me, I can sleep here or here.. anywhere..
So we exchanged a smile, then I got into the room and sank into bed.. for the first time for months, my humanity returned to me and I felt comfort and happiness, and so I closed my eyes in a deep sleep from which I only woke up
to the singing of birds..
I got up energized to pray Dawn-Prayer, I was overwhelmed with contentment, and as soon as I came out of the bedroom door, I was astonished, not any astonishment, as the world turned around when I saw my father sitting up straight on the sofa, still in his work clothes, his sad eyes were absently looking at the window.
I immediately realized that he only gave me his bed because of his happy with my return, but his longing to know my story would not have allowed him to sleep..
The poor father spent the night waiting with longing and burning behind the door for that sun that disappeared in the twilight to wake up...
I did not ask him why you did this, my father..
He would not have known the answer to this question, nor I, nor anyone who might hear this story.. Oh Allah, unless one of us answered with the word 'Father'.. And what a word that appears to us that it contains some letters while it includes an entire universe ..!
As soon as he saw me, his face was released
and hope rose.. I was very ashamed of my rude manner in meeting all this love with such selfishness and estrangement, so I could not conceal that feeling, I bent down on my father, hugging him, kissing his forehead and saying:
- Forgive me, Father... How much this ordeal taught me things that I was about them in negligence and misguidance..
My father answered me in a hoarse voice:
- So...are you not going to tell your father what happened?
- On my head, dad.
Immediately I told my father our story with all affection, and I tried as much as possible to hide its bad from him, so as not to add to his misery.
- So I left him while he was about to marry the leader's daughter and became the crown prince!!
- So... their leader's daughter... is she not a black woman from the daughters of the tribe?
- Yes..if you see her, Dad..she is very ugly!!..they think that beauty is by putting wooden pieces in
their lips! ..as for me, I used to turn a blind eye to the girls of the tribe because I used to feel nauseous every time I saw one of them..!
I laughed sarcastically as my father answered me in all seriousness:
- So, what did he like about her, then?! .. How did that woman control his mind?!
- Who said that she controlled his mind?!..
nothing can control the mind of 'Mo'men'
except prayer!
- So, what is the relationship of prayer with that woman?! .. I see that the two words are contradictory at all..!
- The story and what it contains is that Mo'men brings their hearts so that they convert to Islam, and that is why he had to reside among them and marry them.
- Ha, now I believe that you are talking about Mo'men my son!
- You are right, father.. this is what suits him..
and it is not surprising; I mean :You are the one who called him Mo'men (believer)..
- Rather, it is his mother who called him
"Mo'men".
My father breathed, as if he remembered the distant past, and began to tell me:
"When I inhaled the scent of manhood and my father rejoiced in me, I was the only son of my father, so he hastened to propose to a good woman of the daughters of the sheikhs for me, but this did not suit my mood, of course, because I had met your beautiful blonde mother at the University of Russia, and because we were together and she promised me to follow my religion in order to my family accept her..
Meanwhile, my father decided to make me marry that woman, and because my father was severe, I could never object to his decision, so I actually married Mo'men's mother, but months passed then my father passed away and I inherited his legacy and strengthened my thorn..
So I left Mo'men's mother on a night when there was no moonlight, as they say, without saying anything to her, leaving her money or asking about the fetus that was swimming in
her womb.
Then immediately I traveled to Russia, brought your mother and married her in our country..
But our happiness was not complete, because we spent years dreaming of children, and when we waited for a long time, disputes arose, then your grandfather, your mother's father, passed away, and so your mother inherited that money from him, so her ferocity increased, and little by little, our lives became unbearable, so we decided to divorce, not knowing that Allah had gave life for you in those days.
I divorced her and went out angry.. Where to now?.. I got married twice but that didn't help me.. At that moment I remembered Mo'men's mother that she was pregnant when I left her, so I asked myself about her condition and am I the father of a son or a daughter?
So I took out the key of the house from my old things and went on the same old road.
The neighborhood had changed somewhat in those five years, but the door of the house had not.
I put the key in the lock and it surprised me that
the door had responded to the key.. I entered quietly and closed the door behind me.. The house was as I know it, and soon I realized that it was inhabited because it was clean..
A few moments later, the bedroom door opened and a five-year-old boy came out to me..
He ran to me with a smile on his cheeks, grabbed my hand and kissed it while saying:
- Peace be upon you, my father.. I am Mo'men..
My mother and I have prepared the house and we have been waiting for you!
- You are waiting for me?!
I was impressed by how he recognized me and that he was waiting for me while he had not seen me before!... But instead of asking him questions, I went to the bedroom overlooking and found Mo'men's mother, who was...."
- Let me say it.. she was praying!
-"Of course!.. you guessed!.. and I watched her until she finished her prayer..
She took the cover off her head and greeted me with a smile, she welcomed me and did not
even ask me where I was as if I had left her for a noble work!.. What a strange woman!
This is what I said to myself as I asked her:
- Can I know how you knew that I would come today, as I myself did not know?
She laughed and said:
- But Allah knew!.. Allah showed me that in my dream..Thanks Allah that by His grace, the good events complete!
And while I was astonished by this unusual thing, she said:
- Here, the food is ready!
She put food for us, which I was surprised she called food, and when I looked at how skinny she
was,
