Our thinking and expectations are powerful determiners of our success or otherwise. If you say and believe that you can succeed, you will be right. If you say that you cannot succeed, you will also be right. This is a sobering reality. Below are some tips on helping you succeed in fulfilling what you believe to be your life’s purpose and calling.
Now that you better understand at least some aspects of your life’s purpose by looking at what you are good at and what you enjoy doing, start incorporating this into your life step by step – if it is not already happening. Diligently look for ways and possibilities to use your gifts.
If your paid job is enjoyable and fulfilling for you – wonderful. You are already on the right track and have much to be grateful for. If it is not as much in line with your gifts and talents as you would like it to be, still be grateful that you have a job and an income, but consider ways of making your work more satisfying. It may seem impossible at first, but keep thinking, exploring, and talking to people.
Could some changes be made within the job itself? Can you make it more creative for yourself? Is there another department in the same company where your talents could be better used? You never know what doors may open at the right time – so keep looking and knocking, while remaining thankful for what you have.
Even if you don’t see a way to get paid for what you like doing, explore ways how to use and develop your gifts and talents on the side. Then, if a door does open, you will be ready to walk through it.
Set aside time for using your talent. For example, make it a hobby; take a class to get better; teach your skills to your children or others; create things to sell or donate to a fund-raising rummage sale. Pursue your heart’s desires to incorporate using your gifts into your life as much as possible. Visualize your dreams materializing and believe that it is possible. With time and persistence, this will happen.
Don’t follow the crowd – decide to be unique. Some find themselves in circumstances of a crushing debt and/or a soul-destroying job situation. If one or both apply to you, resolve to transcend the condition. We have already discussed the former – getting out of debt. Regarding the latter, again start with small steps and be patient. Sometimes a change of perspective can go a long way. Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of your job and feeling bad, look for what is good about it and be grateful. Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negativity and dissatisfaction.
Set achievable goals in the area of your talents and work towards them. Celebrate and reward yourself in some way when you have reached a goal and then set a new, higher goal. Believe in yourself and expect to succeed. Develop a can-do attitude rather than focusing on what you can’t do.
If you are able to, share your goals and ideas with people who will encourage you. It helps to have a mentor or another person who believes in you. By the same token, be careful with chronically negative people who are likely to crush your fragile dreams before they have a chance to get off the ground. Sometimes well-meaning people can make remarks such as “that will never work”, “be real”, “you must be realistic”, etc. Carefully consider all input, even the cautioning kind, and take from it what is valid. You are ultimately responsible for your decisions, so move ahead if after considering all the factors you still feel you should.
Remember that many people have succeeded in following their dream against great, almost impossible, odds. While your situation may be different, you can let such individuals inspire you to believe that you too can succeed if you are willing and able to pay the price it takes in time, effort, perseverance, and whatever else might be required. Step out, take a risk that you can live with, and see yourself as succeeding – even if it might take much time and patience.
Even if you don’t become rich and famous (remember that most of us don’t – though you might!), at least you’ll have the joy of having your life aligned with your talents and gifts. You will make a difference in your own sphere of influence – and we all have one. And the satisfaction from serving where you can by using your abilities can be worth far more than fame and money. So even if your income remains small, there is no reason you cannot feel like your life is rich and abundant.
Many of us can sabotage achieving our desires by our own thoughts – often unknowingly and subconsciously. Mindfulness, or being aware of and able to observe our thought processes, goes a long way to realize what is happening. Once we understand the process, we can change.
Try to notice your thoughts and feelings as they arise – picture yourself as an observer of them. Stop and analyse the thoughts you observe. Are they negative, casting doubts that you can achieve your goals? Or, are they affirmative?
Remember, whether you think you can succeed, or whether you think you cannot succeed, you will be correct. Our thoughts are powerful – they in fact are energy – and will determine our future. They can even make us healthy or sick. The good news is, however, that once we become aware of our thoughts, we can change them. It is possible to see a situation differently – from a new perspective.
Visualize success for yourself. In your mind’s eye, see yourself as doing what you love and succeeding. Hold onto this vision – even create reminders of where you are going in the form of post-it notes, cards, or pictures. Attach one to your computer, place another in your wallet, or keep them in drawers to see often. If you live by yourself, you can also stick them on the bathroom mirror, fridge, and wherever else you pass often in your home.
Of course, life can take unexpected twists and turns, such as accidents or debilitating illness that may prevent one reaching a goal. However, live in the present and focus on achieving your vision while you have the strength and energy to do so. Remember that success doesn’t have to mean great financial or material abundance. The satisfaction of doing what you enjoy where you have just enough money to make ends meet can outweigh a well-paid, but less fulfilling job situation, especially when considered longer-term.
Another aspect of our thinking process is the critical voice inside. It purpose is to protect us from harm. However, sometimes it becomes over-protective, perhaps still responding to a childhood incident, which at that time seemed traumatic. Placed into proper perspective and into the present, a fear of another trauma is no longer justified.
Realizing from what childhood experiences our subconscious fears, even phobias, come can go a long way towards consciously counteracting them and moving forward rather than irrationally holding back. One helpful technique to align the body energies and neutralize or release irrational beliefs lodged in our subconscious since childhood is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, aka Tapping). It is beyond the scope of this book to discuss in details, but a lot of information is available on the Internet.
Most people remember and focus on their failures rather than their successes. That’s because from our childhood, successes have usually been taken for granted, whereas failures were made a big deal of. Remembering our successes helps us to build a healthy self-esteem.
Make an inventory of all your successes. Start with nine major successes – three in each third of your life to the present. Continue the exercise and list 100 successes. These can include passing each grade at school, getting a driver’s license, getting married, getting a job, etc.
Another good practice is to create a victory log – this can be added to daily and include such things as achievements, keeping personal disciplines, resisting temptations, responding to others in love, etc. Appreciate yourself for the various small and larger successes.
Also display your success symbols in your home or work place – prizes, pictures, trophies, diplomas, etc. to remind yourself of your achievements. Our environment impacts our moods, attitudes and behaviour, and your success symbols will subtly, subconsciously program you to seeing yourself as a winner, build confidence, and motivate you to further successes.
See Appendix 3 for insightful quotes on the power of thought, and Appendix 4 for tips on affirmations and visualization.
To sum up, our thoughts and our subconscious have a powerful influence on how we view ourselves and the world around us. They can promote or sabotage our success – both financial and in other areas. The good news is that we can, to a considerable degree, learn to control our thoughts and even reprogram our subconscious to avoid self-sabotage to fulfilment and happiness. Consciously resolve to act as though everyone is on your side and wants to help you accomplish your goals. See every negative event as containing seeds of an equal or greater benefit. Remind yourself of past accomplishments and successes. Then look for opportunities and see how you can use every experience to your advantage. If something doesn’t go the way you had hoped, see it as God, life, or the Universe, having something better in store and expect this to unfold in due time.