Now that you have determined where your gifts lie and how you can make a contribution using them, set some goals, and acquired sufficient information, make sure you are aware of the cost of success and willing to pay the price.
The road to success is paved with discipline, continued education, much hard work, and ongoing practice to reach expertise. It passes through tunnels of determination, doing what it takes, and putting in the necessary time.
It is important to first ascertain what the price is to reach a specific goal and then decide if it is worth the sacrifice. If you have counted the cost and are comfortable with it, it is time to move ahead step by step. This chapter gives a few helpful principles adapted from Jack Canfield’s book, The Success Principles.
We cannot control what happens to us – events or circumstances caused by various external factors. However, we can control how we respond to those events or circumstances. As we grow in awareness of our thoughts and reactions, we can learn to change them. We have a choice whether or not to get angry about something, whether to regard a situation as hopeless or see positive possibilities in it, whether to mindlessly react or mindfully respond.
There are three things we can control to at least some a degree, even if not perfectly: thoughts, mental images, and behaviour. Behaviour needs to change from habitual to intentional if we want different results in our life. Wise actions need to be taken and gut-level warning signals heeded.
Evaluate your life, determine what you want and what not, search for the causes of undesirable outcomes, and then focus your behaviour on what works and brings the desirable results.
Fear is natural, and courage is not the absence of fear, but acting in spite of feeling fearful. If we aren’t willing to do this, fear may stop us from achieving what we desire.
Fear can often be the result of imagining bad outcomes – Fantasized Experiences Appearing Real. We scare ourselves by imagining that people will reject us, say no to our requests, and any number of other negative or even disastrous scenarios. Thus we create our own fear and thereby hold ourselves back. (There is of course a healthy fear that protects us from danger. Therefore evaluate whether your fear is in that category or mainly imaginary.)
One way to get rid of irrational fear is to replace the imagined scary outcomes with positive ones – imagine that things will turn out well. If a big step with a significant risk is too scary, start in small steps. This will decrease the risk and enable you to proceed step by step with the increased confidence of small successes.
Sometimes a “leap of faith” may lead to a real breakthrough. However, don’t risk more than you can comfortably live with. Some people have a higher risk tolerance than others. The balance is to be willing to step out of your comfort zone, but only so far as you would be able to survive and recover from if things went wrong.
Taking appropriate risks and chances, having high intention and low attachment, and just pushing forward to the desired goal, you will eventually get there – even if it takes longer than planned.
Step out and act when you feel ready. Depending on the situation, there may never be the perfect time or circumstances, but sometimes it is better to be patient and wait. Try to discern this and move ahead when you feel the time is right for you. Make sure you have enough information, but also realize that you’ll be learning as you go when unforeseen factors emerge.
Failure along the way is likely to occur as a stepping stone on the way to a higher plane, so don’t be discouraged by it and quit. Remember that many a great achiever had failed numerous times before finally succeeding in reaching their goal. Acting with energy and determination – even without guarantee of success – creates momentum. Previously unseen help or resources may suddenly appear.
Don’t wait to see the whole path ahead of you – take one step at a time and make decisions along the way as things unfold. Little by little, progress will be made to your dream or even somewhere better. Continue to explore, doing what you can, and eventually a turning point will come.
Many people are afraid to ask questions or request help because they fear rejection or being thought of as dumb. However, in reality, rejection is a myth – you haven’t lost anything by being rejected, but there is a great potential for gain if your request is granted. An answer to your “dumb” question can save you a lot of heartache, and other kinds of help may propel you forward towards your goal.
Therefore ask regardless of what people may think of you and have a positive expectation. Assume you can get what you are asking for. Ask the right person – find out who is able or authorized to give you what you need. Be clear and specific about what you are after. Ask repeatedly – if the answer is initially no, with persistence it may eventually become yes. Ask a different person – perhaps a whole number of them. Persevere and eventually someone will say yes.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by asking. Many famous and highly successful people only had a breakthrough after going through dozens, even hundreds of rejections. Never give up!
Always strive to improve in everything you do. Set specific goals for improvement, realize that it takes time and effort, and improve in small increments. Practice, practice, practice – not skipping any steps. Sometimes the margin between the great and the average is relatively small, but significant.
Keeping a record of successes helps us stay on track and motivates us to greater heights. We focus on what we want rather than on what we don’t want. Set a target in all areas of life and keep score. This will help manifest you vision and achieve your goal.
At the beginning of any venture there may be the awkward stage of “doing things badly”. This is a normal part of learning. With time, practice and experience, you will reach proficiency and finally excellence. With the momentum built, benefits will follow for the rest of your life.
Practice persistence. High achievers refuse to give up despite obstacles and difficulties. They always get up after having fallen, never lose sight of their hopes and dreams, and try again and again till their goal is realized. For every obstacle, stop to think of strategies to get around, over or through the block. Always be solution-oriented and eventually a way will be found that works. Remember that when one door closes, another one is likely to open. Be on a lookout for this new door and ready to walk through it.
In summary, having counted the cost to reach a goal, take personal responsibility for your thoughts and reactions, evaluate the risks and control your fears, take step-by-step action, involve and seek help from others, always strive for improvement, and persevere, no matter what obstacles come up. By following these principles you can’t help but eventually succeed. And even if your successes do not quickly bring financial abundance – this may take time – the satisfaction of achieving your goals and accomplishing good things of and by itself will make your life more abundant.
