The new styles of modern living and the increasing demands of family life have prompted us to discuss the issue of raising our children and put some workable suggestions for the benefit of the new parents.
Like many educationists, we too are concerned with the deteriorating behaviour of some of our children both at home and in schools. There is definitely an urgent need for all of us to do some re-thinking and self-analysis as far as the development of our children is concerned.
An educational revolution is needed to unlock the talents of our children.
We must find and use new educational strategies, better teaching methods and appropriate child rearing practices if we want our children to become more responsible and good citizens. Since the children spend a lot of their free time with their parents, peers and the community, it is vital that these important socialising agencies act and react well with them at all times.
Then and then only, the total development and behaviour of our children will match our expectations. Failure to perform acceptable child rearing practices will produce many more children with behaviour problems at home, school and society.
Children need proper motivation, continued encouragement and a lot of stimulation in their home, at school and in the community. It is the responsibility of everyone to provide these important factors of child development. We must share our good experiences with our children; read, play and sing with our children; interact with meaning, control effectively and give them all the possible love; and above all we should never ever fail to set good behaviour models for them.
In our fast changing environment we have to develop, educate and train our children for future complexities and difficulties. We must look for new ways of interacting with our children and we must broaden our own knowledge about the needs of our growing children. Let us keep abreast with some of the modern educational and technological developments around us.
Once we find out that our strategies are not working according to our plan we can try to do the following:
(i) Review the essential skills learnt by our children
(ii) Follow new paths of development
(iii) Discuss things with others around you
(iv) Prepare the children to fit well in the home and the community
(v) Re look at their hygiene, grooming and habits
(vi) Provide moral, ethical and religious knowledge
When our friend Bill Maxwell gave his book to us on July 18th 2009 he wrote: To Saroj and Ram Prasad-Australia’s Best Parents. We were humbled by this.
‘..well organized people will have learned in childhood, from significant people in their lives- their parents- the basic principle that will enable them to meet the challenges of life with confidence: the orderly person attracts success, the world is intolerant of disorderly.’ (William Maxwell, et el-Super Parenting)
Remember that our success lies largely in our commitment and eagerness to love, look after and liaise with our children. Never leave them alone; always be there for them and support them all the way.
Let us have the courage and conviction to take the pledge that appears on the next page.
To all our children who are our most cherished hopes, we your parents make this pledge that:
WE WILL :
· Give you our love so that you may grow with trust in yourself and in others.
· Recognize your worth as a person and we will help you to strengthen your sense of belonging.
· Respect your right to be yourself and at the same time help you to understand the rights of others, so that you may experience co-operative living.
· Encourage you to develop initiative and imagination, so that you may have the opportunity to create freely.
· Encourage your curiosity and your pride in workmanship, so that you may have the satisfaction that comes from achievement.
· Provide the conditions for wholesome play that will add to your learning, your social experience and to your happiness.
· Illustrate by precept and example the value of integrity and the importance of moral courage.
· Encourage you always to seek truth, beauty and goodness in everything and everyone.
· Provide you with all the opportunities possible to develop your own faith in God and humanity.
· Open the way for you to enjoy all forms of art and to pursue them for deepening your understanding of life.
· Work to rid ourselves of prejudice and discrimination so that together we may achieve a truly democratic society.
· Work to lift the standard of living to improve your economic practices, so that you may have the material basis for a full life.
· Provide you with rewarding educational opportunities, so that you may develop your talents and contribute to a better world.
· Protect you against exploitation and undue hazards and help you grow in good health and strength.
· Work to conserve and improve family life and, as needed, to provide foster care according to your inherent rights.
· Intensify our search for new knowledge in order to guide you more effectively as you develop your potentialities.
· Ask you to join us in a firm dedication to the building of a world society based on freedom, justice and respect.
We firmly believe that being a good and responsible parent is one of the most pleasant and important tasks in this world.
Parents who are acceptant, moderately indulgent, democratic and warmly affectionate have a home that is as near to satisfaction as can be expected and their children are generally well balanced, secure and happy.
Those parents, who try to reflect on their own childhood and make an effort to understand themselves first, find it easier to deal with their children with greater care and control. They are more able to guide their children to lead a happier life and move effectively towards adulthood. It is true that the parents, who are able to instil the acceptable virtues of good human beings into their children, are successful in making the life of their children comfortable and smooth.
All parents are expected to play various roles in the development of their children. The best that can be done in a brief handbook on such a massive field of though is to present a few broad and basic guidelines and concepts that are generally acceptable as being workable and worthwhile.
One point that needs to be emphasised is the growing up of children as an important member of the family unit. The children must belong to the family and learn to be part of the unit in doing things together.
We have heard many educationists say that if you want to be classed as a good and effective parent you are expected to perform a variety of duties and responsibilities with dignity and diligence. Let us outline a few of these for the information of those parents who care about the total development of their children.
Encourage your children to learn to do what they should, behave as they should, set an example of sensible and right behaviour and talk to them about the results of good behaviour and the consequence of bad.
Control when necessary, but try to establish an atmosphere of healthy freedom where your children can gradually learn to make better decisions for themselves.
Punish when necessary and restrain by reasonable means with as little anger as is humanly possible. Try to couple the behaviour with related punishment. Later discuss it frankly, so they can learn by it. In short all punishment must suit the extent of misconduct but never be violent.
Try to fully understand your youngsters by realising that they are growing personalities who face new and puzzling challenges and problems everyday.
Give your children a sturdy sense of warm acceptance as a valued member of the family. Genuinely accept and value your children, but not necessarily their wrong behaviour or attitudes.
Show your love by a temperate affection zone so your children are free to grow up emotionally.
Respect their need for privacy or thought and feeling, but be available as a mature person for guidance. Your children should be able to trust and confide in you for all their important problems and decisions.
Good parents know that there are at least three types of discipline that are considered poor:
· Control by domination
· No discipline at all
· Variation from extreme severity to extreme leniency.
Good parents also know that they should accept children’s emancipation as desirable and inevitable and encourage them on a gradual basis to handle money, get in and out of own difficulties, not be allowed to dodge the outcome of their own bad judgement, choose more and more of their own friends.
Then, for our children, time and availability on the part of parents, are necessary ingredients to develop the possibility for family fun, communication and supportive influence.
Not only these above mentioned suggestions but also there may be many others that other parents have tried and were successful in developing a better family life. So it would be a good idea to learn from the successes and failures of your friends who have children of their own. Nobody knows everything and to discuss things with trusted friends increases our knowledge.
Giving your best shot at raising your children is not only your duty but it is your right and responsibility. To be successful in your parental obligations would mean a better family, a peaceful community, a responsible society and a harmonious nation.
Everyone around you and your children would always admire your contributions as a parent. Go forth and serve.
We can only stress the point that the writers make in their publication Unlimited that history’s newest education revolution is personal where information and learning programs can be personalized and tailored to your own passions, talents, interests and needs. And where you can share your own talents and skills with the millions – for both fun and income.
Every child is an individual and requires separate recipe for emotional, physical, social, mental, spiritual and intellectual development, so we must treat them in that way.
We can class children into three broad categories, namely: slow, average and brilliant. Generally speaking most of our school systems are geared to be catering for the average children but recent educational developments and thoughts have made our teachers cater for the entire three categories well. However, the parents need to understand this vital phenomenon in child development in order to supplement and enhance the work of the teachers.
Believing that each child is unique we must look at the individual differences in each child and then assist in the development of all the talents that are possible for that child. Then the total growing up of your child would be meaningful and progressive.
There is no test that can measure all the intricacies of each child’s personality but trained educational personnel nowadays have developed many appropriate tests that can help parents identify and plan the future developmental needs of their children. Always remember that the interpretation of any test on children must be done carefully and weighed against a lot of other available information.
If a child with high intelligence is to gain better results and succeed academically then the total learning of that child must be well planned and be accompanied by appropriate motivation and interest. If on the other hand you have a child who is a slow learner then there are many ways and methods to assist the child develop to his or her full potentiality. Appropriate early childhood intervention is absolutely vital in helping the child to meet the challenges in the formative years.
Every parent should know that there are aptitudes and factors other than inborn or innate intelligence that influence a child’s development and productivity. A healthy and conducive environment at home and in the community plays a major role in shaping the future of our children. Each parent should know how to select the environment that they would like their children to grow up in.
One specific point to remember though is that these aspects could be manipulated to the child’s advantage if t