Please Help A Starving Author By Leaving A Review
Ok, so I lied about the starving part, but books need reviews on Amazon in order to sell. Without them, they wither and die, and so do the authors. Honest.
You don’t have to say much, and you can stay anonymous – just set your Amazon reviewer name to something like ‘Amazon Reviewer 3982.’ Anyway, here are a few examples of what you could write if you were a truly wonderful person who didn’t mind doing a good deed every now and again:
- This book was so awesome I forgot to feed my kids. Thankfully they reminded me, over and over again, so I haven’t managed to kill them yet. Phew.
- This book sucked. It was even worse than a certain president’s infamous hairdo, and that is saying something.
- James Leverett is so hot, I want to have his babies. As long as I’m allowed a safe word – because the kink is a bit on the seriously freaky crazy side.
- I would rather read War and Peace than this ridiculous smutty drivel and nonsense. Seriously – all Mandara talks about is orgasms, sex, and hot blokes. Who wants to read about that?
- Ms. Mandara does not write quickly enough. I need her to release a book every month at the very least and she keeps me waiting for months, and worse – ends everything on a horrendous cliff hanger. I have a love/hate relationship with this author. She should probably be spanked.
- This is not a good book to read on the train. Especially when the hot guy sitting next to me kept trying to read it over my shoulder.
- Don’t ever read this book to your wife. She will demand sex for days on end and will suddenly become insatiable in bed. Seriously, I have been considering divorce…
Any of these will do (I’m more partial to the nice ones…) and it will give you extra karma points that will be returned to you in due course in the form of cookies, money, hugs, and wine. Honest.
