Chapter I
What’s The Big Fuss About Being An Alpha Male?
Are you an Alpha male? Are you getting the women you want? Are your pockets getting fuller with money? Do people see you as a leader? Do they respect you and make way for you when you enter a room? Are you in full control of your life?
Starting off a book with questions will probably raise eyebrows among literary gurus, but hey, to be completely honest… I could care less! I’m not writing this book to conform to what is conventionally or politically correct. I’m writing this book to help men who, like you, could possibly be up in limbo trying to make sense of their no-specific-direction lives. The way I figure it, if the above questions hit you like they hit me before I became an Alpha male, then I’d be off to a good start.
Perhaps, you’ll find the answers to the questions won’t come easily. Don’t worry about it. Where it concerns the inner dynamics of a man, the answers never do come easily, not unless you’ve got a precise idea of what makes an Alpha male. In truth, not too many men have a definite handle on what an Alpha male is. The closest they’ll come to what it really is, would be to associate it with the 1980’s idea of machismo, which sadly is mostly confined to how well-endowed a man is. Not that any man (or woman) would complain about that, but being an Alpha male goes a long, long way beyond being a sex god. Sure, that helps too. But for an Alpha male, being a confirmed stud is not the be-all and end-all of life.
So, pray tell, what in heaven’s name is an Alpha male???
Well… for one thing, he’s not the impatient type who’d lose control over learning something related to Alpha male. He is usually calm and collected. In the words of today’s young kids, he’s cool.
The Alpha male
In a nutshell, an Alpha male is the ideal man almost every woman wants and most men want to be. They’re the guys on top of the social and economic totem poles. They’ve got better access to power and money and have easier ways with women. They’ve gained these advantages through physical and mental prowess, asserting character and influence. They’re often described as ‘real men’.
The Beta male
On the flipside of the coin are the Beta males. These are the weak, nondescript hundreds of thousands of men who go through life being submissive and subordinate, and seem to always find themselves on the lower ranks of the social and corporate ladders. In a game of poker, while most of the players would have a good pair, these Beta males would have a pair of deuces. Their female partners would generally be those who have simply decided to settle down and get married, who went on a mission to find a “nice, decent, family-centered guy”. These are the Beta men. No, they’re not what you’d regard as losers. They’re simply not living (or unable to live) to win!
My sincere aim is to help you go through a process to become an Alpha male, begin to live like one and start winning!
This is an easy-to-read, easy-to-follow-and-do, 6-chapter book which is geared towards giving you a better understanding and appreciation of:
1) What an Alpha man is
2) Why you should become one
3) The important elements that will make you one
4) Building your passion and sustaining it
5) Doing what you need to do to become an alpha man; and
6) Propping you up for growth and success
First things first. Let’s get a measure of what an Alpha man really is.
I could make out like a college professor and go through the Alpha ethology (I had to look this word up in the dictionary) and tell you all about how, in hierarchical social animals, alphas usually have priority access to food and other desirable things, including preferential access to sex and mating partners. I could tell you how gorillas achieve this status through physical prowess, but hey, I don’t think we’d like to go aping them! Besides, our methods are a bit more sophisticated!
So, what I’ll do instead is line up the specific characteristics of an Alpha man and, as you go through each one of them, ask yourself 3 questions:
1) Am I this?
2) Is there something I can do about it?
3) Shouldn’t I be doing it now?
‘The Alpha Male’; ‘the main man’; ‘the real stand-up guy’; ‘God’s gift to women’ – it doesn’t matter how you refer to him: he’s the top guy, the leader, the one most other men look up to for inspiration and motivation, almost always with a hidden taint of envy. Here’s what makes him tick:
1) The Alpha male, first of all, is a leader. He leads by example. While he carries himself with a certain quality that inspires the people around him, he doesn’t tell them how to live; he doesn’t impose on them. He lives on his own terms, in the best way he thinks is right for him.
2) The Alpha male is persistent. He doesn’t give up. The word ‘quit’ is not part of his everyday vocabulary. He’ll be the last man standing in any kind of fighting arena.
3) The Alpha male is in top physical form. He’s not going to look like those giant Roman gladiators, but he’s strong. He’s got an athletic body most women would find attractive.
4) The Alpha male is a tough worker. He’ll work all hours knowing nothing great is accomplished without hard work. He toils with a specific, definite purpose.
5) The Alpha male never picks a fight. He’s not a war freak but, if he finds himself in one, he won’t cower in fear. He’ll be the guy who ends it. He doesn’t hit a man when he’s down. He’ll fight mostly to defend – not to kill, maim or destroy.
6) The Alpha male is not only a survivor – he’s a fighter. He’s a warrior, not a worrywart. He knows he can’t have everything under his control, so he takes a firm hold of what he can and doesn’t worry about what he can’t control. He forgets about tomorrow. He’s got his hands full working on today’s needs and demands.
7) The Alpha male has got style. He dresses and looks like a man, and people respect him for it. He’s not a fashion icon, but he wears his clothes with a certain flair.
8) The Alpha male knows women. He’s got a great way with them. He respects them and treats them gently, often because he has had beautiful relationships with them. He’s chivalrous, gentlemanly in his ways. At every chance, he helps his girl to make her dreams come true.
9) The Alpha male is learned and educated. He may or may not have any of those fancy university degrees, but he’s got an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. He desires to learn, and he does. It’s what helps him interact with people from different social and economic standing. He can hold a conversation smartly with a top businessman, a math professor, a sports buff or the local parish priest.
10) The Alpha male is confident. He’s sure of himself. He knows who he is and what stuff he’s made of. He lives by his values and doesn’t stray from them. He stands by them and will fight for what he believes is right. It’s this confidence that makes him feel at home in the corridors of power. It’s what makes him attractive to the opposite sex. Even more importantly, it’s what puts the credibility into what he says and does.
11) The alpha male has got a sense of humor. He’s amusing and entertaining, and tells jokes as effectively as any stand-up comic you’d see on TV.
12) The Alpha male has lived and continues to live. He is a seasoned man with stories to tell. He’s no stranger to mistakes but he’s able to laugh at them. He’s gone into adventures – the kind everyone enjoys hearing about.
There you go. Twelve specific traits of what makes an Alpha male. More importantly, 12 characteristics that make a real man, characteristics that have propelled him to the top echelons of corporate management, financial and economic circles and the social world, making him the envy of most men.
Obviously, there are many other ways of defining an alpha male, but perhaps what you’ll find common in them is what he is not. He is not your average Joe, he’s not of ordinary mold. He is neither conventional nor traditional, though he puts value on family and societal traditions. In short, he’s not ‘just a man’.
As I suggested in the earlier paragraph, I hope you took the time to do a self-assessment using the Alpha male characteristics as a yardstick. It’s what I did. It’s what did the trick for me… reason enough for me to persuade you to do the same. It will give you an idea of where you might be in terms of becoming one. This simple exercise is just a sort of a look-see, start-up activity. The job ahead is a bigger one; but hey, we’re talking about you getting richer, we’re talking about you getting the women you want and we’re talking about you being a cut above the rest. You’ve got to concede, it’s not going to be a walk in the park. I’ll promise you this much… we’ll work with you all the way, as we try to simplify the process and quickly get you on track.