Chapter V
JUST DO IT!
I’d like to think that at this point you’ve gotten a pretty good idea of what an alpha male is, and your passion that’s driving your transformation into one continues to burn like a bonfire.
We’ve talked lengthily about how having an alpha male personality can boost your career or a business undertaking, which should eventually lead you to greater wealth. We’ve talked about how, with a better built-in confidence you can become ‘the leader of the pack’ and a social demi-god, and begin to earn the respect of people in the circles you move in. Even your mother-in-law should now see you in a different light as to think twice before dictating where the kids should go to school. Yes, make no mistake about it. You have the ability to bring out the inner alpha in you and start a life that’s fulfilling and gratifying… a life according to your terms.
The Alpha male and his women
But hey! Before we miss out on one of the most fun aspects of becoming an alpha male, let’s talk some more about those can’t-live-with-them, can’t-live-without-them individuals… those nice-to-the-touch, sexy, attractive women, who naturally move with a sensuality that gets your testosterone exploding every which way like it was the 4th of July. They’re also, almost always, the reason why you go to bed early… and then go home.
Why most women prefer alpha males
Know and understand that, by nature, today’s women continue to want their man to be strong and have the traits of a take-charge guy, a natural born leader. The elements that define him though are no longer brawn or brute force. Very few women like those. Instead, it’s the alpha male’s brains, social intelligence and rare talent for influencing others through intellectual persuasion that appeals to the greater majority of the opposite sex.
Some of the other reasons why women want alpha males for their partners are:
1) It improves their stature in the community. With the alpha male being looked up to, the woman he chooses as his mate is generally seen as someone special, a VIP. As such, she would be perceived as someone the hoi-polloi wouldn’t be rubbing elbows with. She’s generally respected and not unnecessarily bothered.
2) Women are simply thrilled and excited to be with a man other women desire. They not only take pride in their relationship with an alpha male, they also enjoy being envied by other women (they’ll never admit it, so let’s keep that between us).
3) Women feel they would be defended by an alpha male in physical, emotional and intellectual terms. People would tend to stay clear of you, not insult you or make threats with this alpha man by your side.
4) In relative degrees an alpha male can provide the means (dollars or euros, in other words) to sustain or improve a woman’s certain lifestyle, as our society expects him to. You’ve seen women hanging around basketball and tennis players, right? That’s not so much because they’re cute and adorable. Okay, that too but… these guys also just happen to make millions!
5) Finally, at the back of women’s minds, they feel an alpha male’s genes (with his smart mind, possibly good looks and fit body) can be passed on to their children.
Now, don’t all of these make sense? Of course they do! You and I see these happening in our midst all the time. And so…. why are we still sitting here on our fat asses? Back to the salt mines! We’ve got work to do.
Learning the right way of approaching women
Unless you’re the legendary Spanish lothario, Don Juan Tenorio, you’d probably feel that learning how to approach women is like pulling teeth, a daunting job. Well my friend, I have good news… it’s not. It may seem so at first but as you practice this process of starting a conversation with a complete woman-stranger, and getting introductions that could lead to dating possibilities, it’ll be a breeze… IF you know how. I’ve learned how to master the process during my transformation, and I’d like to share this with you.
How I used to be before becoming an alpha male
There was a time when I’d shake like a leaf, deciding and not deciding to approach a pretty woman in a pub, in a party or in a park. In the end I’d simply forget the whole thing, rationalizing to myself and making up excuses like, “Oh, she’s probably married already,” or “She’s not really all that good-looking,” or “I’ll bet she’s haughty and snobbish!” In truth, I just didn’t know what to say and I was so afraid I would get rejected.
Here’s what I’ve learned from all those guys who are so into it, it’s become a Friday and Saturday night staple for them.
I’ve learned it’s not about your opening line. It’s not about what you say that matters. What matters are the way you carry yourself, the way you speak and the kind of body language you project.
The first thing that happens when you approach a girl for the first time is that she gets an instant impression of you. In that split second, if that impression turns out good… Hallelujah! You’ll probably get a smile and an encouraging reaction. You’ll know because you’ll hear church bells ringing and angels singing! Seriously, what you say won’t count much. However, if that impression is bad, she’ll turn cold as ice, make out like a statue and completely ignore you.
So, what do you do to make a good first impression? Here are the techniques:
1) When you approach a girl, make sure you’ve got a strong presence by taking on a confident, self-assured body language. Hold your head up, get your shoulders to relax naturally, and walk directly to her with a straight body. Say something like, “Are you enjoying your drink?” or “How do you like the ambience of this place?” She may think like you own the place and you’re just wondering how customers are getting along. That’s fine. It’ll get the conversation going.
This is one of the most critical parts of learning how to get to know women and starting a conversation that could lead to storybook romances or some fun sexual dalliances. Whichever way it turns out, know that if you project a good image through an impressive, positive body language, there’s very little chance of rejection. At the very least, even if she doesn’t end up in your bed à la Linda Lovelace, you would have started a conversation.
2) Know, understand and accept that rejection is no big deal. So the girl, for some bizarre reason, snubs you. So what? What’s the big deal? No sense being afraid of rejection, and you know why? Because it’s not a rejection of you as a person. Heck, she doesn’t know you from Adam. She has no idea who you, your family or friends are, and knows nothing about your personal background. So, why should it bother you? Look at it this way. She is rejecting the way you approached her. She’s telling you there’s something amiss with your body language, with the way you were dressed up that night or maybe the way you looked, drooling like mad over her sexiness, with your tongue hanging out. Take the rejection and learn from it. What did you do wrong? Were you nervous and trembling? Pull back, review what and how you did the approach, learn and improve.
3) Practice makes perfect. I know it’s an overused cliché but it still works. If you really want to become an alpha male and learn how to approach women, you’ve got to practice.
You’ve got to approach them on a regular basis. This Friday or Saturday, before you go out, set a goal for yourself of approaching 3 women before you head for home. If you go out twice a week, that’ll make 24 tries to start a conversation with women in a month. You’ve got to agree these are pretty good odds. You should come out on the winning side. Don’t think and overanalyze this. Review the tips we’ve gone through and just do it!
And what do women themselves have to say about this whole business of them being approached, starting conversations and making introductions?
If only to affirm what we have been advocating and practicing in becoming an alpha male personality, especially where it concerns women, we asked several of them, in a sort of a backyard survey, how they felt about it. Here’s what they’re saying:
“It’s eye contact and a smile, for me. That will raise your chances of us getting into a conversation.”
“Don’t go for the your-place-or-my-place bit immediately. We’re suspicious most of the time so make it a point to carry on a conversation before you jump into this. We get to be impressed if you’re articulate and have an interest in getting to know us better. We’re also more predisposed to saying YES if you’re able to establish some level of comfort first. Get pushy and we walk away.”
“Don’t approach us if you’re too nervous. It’ll just make us uneasy. Show us some cool confidence. I find that appealing and attractive.”
“The biggest turn-off for us girls is when you approach us while drunk.”
“Don’t approach us and start off a conversation with a sexual spiel. Sure, we want to be noticed for our physical good looks but when you compliment only our body, we think it’s crude and lacks class.”
“I like it when a man comes in strong and oozing with confidence. And when he’s well-dressed … wow! I usually get floored!”
In a nutshell, here’s what women are saying essentially, and this from a young, trendy, woman writer herself:
“We like and appreciate a man who’s got enough confidence to approach us and yet humble enough to pay us compliments. You don’t have to be a Brad Pitt or a George Clooney or have a perfectly lean body and, certainly, you don’t need a list of pick up lines (we’ve heard them all before). Be assertive, not abrasive. Carry yourself well and be sure to make us feel good and special. We wouldn’t mind being extended with bits of kindness either.”
So I’ve included how women themselves feel about being approached in a bar, a book-store or any public place as hearing these women’s opinions directly might help boost your confidence. Essentially they’re saying it’s all about confidence. And hey, that’s what we’ve been talking about all along, right? So, two things I’d like you to remember:
1) Get going with your goal of approaching three women this Friday or Saturday when you go out; and
2) Don’t be afraid of rejection!
Just do it!