Kate took my hand and we fumbled for our Oyster cards. I found mine and went through. I waited at the top of the escalator, but noticed Kate wasn't following me. That's not uncommon, she often stops for a moment to deal with her phone. When I looked over my shoulder, I saw her looking at the exit. Then she turned and beckoned me.
“Back in a second, she forgot something,” I said to the guard at the special assistance gate. He had seen me entering and nodded to let me out. You can't check out a few seconds later, the system will think you're checking in twice because you weren't paying attention or didn't see the light.
“What's up?”
She took my hand and led me up the stairs again. It was dark now, but not very cold. Melody was still there. She looked surprised we reappeared.
“Hi.”
“Hi,” said Kate. “It felt wrong.”
“You two should go. Special night for you,” Melody said, softly. Then she turned her back to us and started walking. I watched her walk to a Pelican crossing. She seemed sad.
“Shall we...” I said to Kate, but she just squeezed my hand. Melody stopped, although the light was green. Then she turned around. Kate let go of me and ran towards her. Obviously, I followed. The girls hugged.
“I'm sorry. I just... I really don't want to be alone right now. And my roommates don't count.”
Poor girl. Perhaps it was also the alcohol talking, but she did just have a terrible evening, being told she didn't get to be with me (as I write this, I still can't help but think: 'Why would anyone want that?' Like I'm some grand prize) and for the weirdest reason of all. It wasn't even that I didn't love her, she was just pushed out of the race by someone who had been running for 24 years and somehow had two starting tickets.
“Come along with us, then,” said Kate. That was sweet of her to say, but it's not as if we had suddenly sprung another bedroom.
“Couch...” I said, as non-inhospitable as I could.
“Unless you want him for the night?” said Kate, ignoring me completely. Melody shook her head.
“He's yours. I'm going. I'll be fine. Pound of chocolate and I'm right as rain.”
The little man was green again and she crossed the street. Kate wasn't moving. We watched her for a while, as she walked past shop windows, never looking back. Then she disappeared into what seemed to me to be a side street and Kate took off, even though the pedestrian light was red now and cars were pulling up from the other side of the intersection. I wasn't so brave. Or stupid. Or quick off the mark. All I could do as a dozen cars raced past me was watch Kate disappear around that same corner. By the time it was safe for me to cross, both of them were on the high street again and waving at me. I ran to meet them, which I just about managed with my mediocre stamina. This was no side street. This was just a shop doorway.
“She's still a bit upset,” said Kate, firmly hugging Melody. “You're driving.”
It turned out her van was parked further along the street. I was given keys and went ahead because they clearly needed to talk amongst themselves. In fact, they stopped once or twice. I could see Melody gesturing and Kate offering hugs. Eventually Melody hugged her back and they came up to the van.
“Hastings,” said Kate. “I have a key.”
“What? You mean, home?”
Where mom and dad lived was always home.
“Yes. Neutral ground and with a beach we can pace up and down while we sort out this mess.”
Melody let go of Kate and hugged me now.
“Can you stand to be with me a bit longer?” she said, smiling through a tearstreaked face.
“Yes of course, sweetheart. Anything for you.”
“Can I have a kiss? A proper one? I may be a bit salty but...”
Kate, looking at me from behind Melody, nodded urgently. And so I kissed Melody properly. I felt her relax in my arm and had the distinct impression this had been some kind of litmus test.
“It's a three hour drive,” I announced.
“No jazz for more than an hour,” said Kate.
“A whole hour?” replied Melody, already giggling. Both of them climbed in but neither of them rode shotgun. I didn't know what to say, so I just got behind the wheel and punched 'Hastings' into the satnav. Then I tuned into Jazz FM.
After fifteen minutes, I pulled into a petrol station and filled up the van. Then I walked around it and stopped at an air pump, to refill the rear tyres. As I went in to pay, I got some candy and bottled water from a display. The cashier was looking at the van.
“Someone's got a great night planned,” he said, looking for a chat.
“Who?” I asked, distracted by the pin terminal and life in general.
“Two birds!”
“Birds? Where?” Sometimes pigeons get in through the sliding doors, perhaps he was warning me.
“Two birds. In your van.” He was clearly sorry he brought it up.
“Oh. Yes. Frankly, I have no idea what happened there. Do you mind if I check my oil while I'm under the canopy?”
“Sure. Need a rag?”
He gave me a wad of paper towel from a dispenser. I paid, got in to hand them my supplies and popped the hood of the van. She was low on oil. I went back for a bottle and also got her some new wiper fluid. Brake fluid was fine. I calmly topped everything up and soon we were on the road again.
“Why did you do that?” asked Melody.
“Frankly, I've wanted to do that since I first saw this van.”
“Yes, but why?”
“Because I want you to be safe.”
“Thanks. I'm due for a service next week though. I do take care of it.”
“Long drive ahead. Worth a bottle of oil to avoid trouble.”
“You're sweet.”
“Thanks. Can I have a fruity Mentos?”
“Don't give him strawberry, he hates those,” said Kate.
Nothing else was said for an hour. In the mirror I could only see Kate and Melody leaning against each other, Kate's head on Melody's shoulder and Melody's head against Kate's. They were awake and when they saw me looking they smiled.
I felt sorry for Melody. She had received some really shitty news and the past few days clearly hadn't been all that great either. I think a person is allowed to grieve however they like and being strong-armed by Kate to join us didn't seem like the best way. Pretty much the last place I would have wanted to be when I found out Diana was married was Diana and Nigel's house, no matter how bad I felt. My solution would have been for Kate to spend some time with her, with me waiting at home. But I didn't get the chance to discuss it with Kate in private and anyway, it felt unforgivably rude to just say: 'Go home and cry yourself to sleep.'
Obviously I would have liked to comfort her. Ideally I'd have cloned myself and sent a copy of me with her to make her happy, or at least to be with her long enough for her to inevitably get sick of me, start ignoring me and then divorce me and take all my money and my house.
“So when you two were young,” said Melody, out of nowhere. “Did she ever ask to see your pee-pee?”
Kate giggled.
“All the time.”
“And it never happened. We were never young together, by the time she was interested in that sort of thing, my pee-pee was 21 years old and would have gone to jail, with me attached to it. And rightfully so,” was my answer.
“And did you shower together?”
“No. We shared bathrooms though. And I may have washed her or taken care of her when she was young, but that was before she was even nine years old.”
“Oh, right.”
A few miles later:
“So have you kissed then?”
“Yes. Extensively.”
“And was it good?” she asked Kate.
“Well, considering I've been waiting for that to happen for about... ten years, I'd say: yes. Though the very first one, when he had just spent the night in jail after drinking to the point where he blacked out and went on a sexist, racist bender... Less so.”
“I'm not a racist. I'm sure they're lovely people who just happen to be extremely corrupt and inefficient. And violent.”
Melody found all this banter very amusing, so she egged us on.
“And are all Dutch people such massive perverts? Do siblings often have romantic relationships? Is it all that cheese and milk?”
“Yes, no and yes I'd say,” said Kate, completely unshaken.
“Says the woman who let herself be lured into a van by two perverts,” was my response.
Quiet again. I had one of my own.
“So ladies, tell me... this hotel room business... How the hell did that happen?”
“Did what happen?” said Kate. “We were drunk and did the responsible thing. And you got to see my tits, which I hoped might help you take an interest.”
“Was that it?” giggled Melody. “That's not what you said to me.”
“What did she say then?” I asked.
“Oh, well... She has a talent for making things sound pretty normal. I mean, it's true: I can't sleep in a bra and we were too drunk to drive. You know what I look like naked, I don't care about Kate's tits... Before I knew it, I was naked in bed.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No. I've thought about it a bit, but anything you can say against it is just because you're following social norms. Women have breasts, we shouldn't need to hide them.”
“So making me sleep with an erection is normal.”
“You were out like a light,” said Kate.
We'd left the A25 and were now on the A21. Royal Tunbridge Wells was coming up. It was dark and the van was a bit noisy for my taste, but it was nice to be in our own covered up little world while we drove.
“So what else have you done?” asked Melody.
“I don't ask you what he's done to you, do I?” said Kate, faking indignance.
“I'll tell you. We fucked, I blew him, he gave me oral, he sucked my nipples... Oh yeah we showered together. And we kissed. I'd say those were the highlights.”
Oh great. Another one that couldn't shut up about sex. I groaned.
“Well,” said Kate. “We haven't done that. He sucked ONE nipple. Oh and he got me off with his hand. Really good, I nearly passed out.”
“Really? Are you two going to annoy me for the next thirty miles?”
“Yes,” they said in unison.
“But he did something to me I bet he hasn't done to you...” said Kate, trying to gauge my expression.
“This is verbal sexual assault. I'd be a millionaire if we were in America,” I tried, but she ignored me and Melody went along with it.
“What? What? Was it anal?”
“Noooooo.... He's kissed my feet. It was lovely!”
“KATE, DAMMIT!” I was really angry now. I wasn't even sure why because I had accidentally told her. It was probably more that she was about to tease me with it, which is a bit like teasing Kelly with her stoma. She didn't ask to have that. Melody leaned forward and carefully kissed my cheek, making sure I wouldn't swerve off the road.
“Hey... it's fine. I've seen you look, I did wonder if you were ever going to ask... muah.”
They were quiet for a bit.
“So what's the plan when we get there,” I asked. “Bit late for a walk on the beach.”
“Foot rub?” said Melody, which made Kate giggle and hit her, like they were two unruly school children. I briefly looked over my shoulder, not too long of course.
“Here's the deal: I am going to sleep in the biggest bed in the house. If you show up, I'm going to fuck you. If you don't want the other person to get fucked, you'd best work that out amongst yourselves or be the first to lock the door.”
They went quiet instantly. I didn't even look in the mirror. After about two miles Kate said:
“You've robbed us of about two hours of teasing and torturing you, you know that?”
Now Melody collapsed in fits of laughter.
“How drunk are you two anyway? You've had four drinks each, that was over an hour ago.”
They ignored me and just sat there, shoulder to shoulder. I was quite keen to be relieved as a driver, especially because they had made me tune to Radio Three almost an hour ago. But these two seemed completely out of it.
“Do we need to stop for supplies? Toothbrushes, stuff like that?”
“I have my overnight bag with me,” said Melody. Well, it was her van.
“I've got all of that at the house. I'm sure mom has something for you. Though it will be a shock to see those white HEMA underpants again.”
I didnt' say anything. Kate suddenly became serious and leaned forward.
“Martin... You don't like this, do you?”
“I'm not sure that I do,” admitted. Which is my way of saying: 'Absolutely not.'
“What don't you like about it, sweetheart?”
“Well, I've had the biggest shock of my life today. And I've started a thing with my own sister. It just seems weird that I now seem to be on my way to my first night with you and it involves someone else.” Then, to Melody: “Sorry about that, I really don't mean to imply you're in the way. I didn't spot you were in a bad way tonight and I'm glad Kate did. But if we're hanging out together, I'd like it if things didn't get extra weird. On top of the normal weird that it already is. Maybe it's because I'm the only one who is still sober, but...”
“I'm sober,” said Melody. “And I didn't feel as if I was in the way until just now. But you're right. I have no clear idea what we're headed for, I just figured I trust you guys. But if this is all new to you, you should be able to have a peaceful start. I want you to drop me off at a hotel, come pick me up for breakfast, okay?”
Finally someone was making sense. But now Kate began to sniffle.
“I just... I just wanted us all to be happy... I don't want Melody to be alone and I knew Martin would worry about her...”
She began to sob. I was in no position to comfort her, but Melody was. Meanwhile, I reached over to the satnav and had it search for hotels. It suggested the White Rock, right along the beach. Melody saw me do it and stopped me.
“Martin... never mind. I'll sleep in the guest bedroom, if I may. And I think you're right. It's a bit late for all this and we've all had an exhausting couple of days. Let's just sleep.”
“You're absolutely welcome.”
The house was cold and dark and had neat stacks of mail behind the front door, because a friend of my parents had popped in to water the plants. We got the central heating going, made tea, ate every biscuit in the house and took turns in the bathroom. Melody cuddled us both and disappeared in Kate's room, wearing very decent striped pyjamas. Kate and I didn't want to use the room next door, my room, so we went to our parent's bed. We could tell mom changed it on the morning they had left; she loves to come home to a clean bed.
“I've been so stupid,” said Kate, the second her head hit the pillow.
“A bit. What did you think would happen?”
“Well... I was drunk. She was sad. I thought we'd be better off together. Like we were in the hotel. I liked that.”
“That was you two against me. You liked that?”
“No. That's not how I saw it. I just thought: 'He's with two women he loves, showing him a bit of skin. That must make him happy, even if he'll never admit it.' And it gave me a chance to show you the goods.”
“Right. You know, I can sort of see that. But not on the same day where Melody goes from thinking I'm a rapist in training to finding out she's been bumped from the cockpit AGAIN. That's cruel enough as it is without making her watch us together.”
“I know. I was drunk. So was she. We'd just taken a blood oath to be sisters. I don't have many friends, Martin. Not in this business. I figured, I love you, she loves you, we should look out for each other. But I see your point.”
“Good. And there's something else I want to discuss.”
“Oh?” She looked worried and turned to her side.
“For someone who only this morning told me she wanted sex every day, you've been a bit... hesitant. We didn't need to go out. We didn't need to see Melody this very evening. Now I'm not saying this because I want to run down the entire list in one night, trust me. But if you're having second thoughts, Kate, please tell me. Before this becomes an irreversible mistake.”
Kate sat upright and turned to sit on her knees. She was naked except for white panties. First she kissed me, then she put her arms around my neck and forced me to look her in the eye.
“Martin, I have no doubt what-so-ever that this is what I want. And I will do everything, and I do mean everything you want, right now. But I will admit... I'm nervous. I mean, I'm horny as fuck, trust me. But it will be our first time. I want it to matter. Fuck, if I'm honest I want to record it in HD from three angles. But that thing you did to me this afternoon? That, uhm... Well, not to be too graphic...”
“Heaven forfend.” By all means, Kate. Don't lower yourself to vulgarity.
“Yes. Well it sort of jumpstarted my period. I've been putting it off, but... And I haven't had time to shave my legs... Let me be your porn star, let's do it properly. Please.”
“Sweetheart, I don't want a porn star. If you want to wait, fine. But you also seem inordinately willing to have me sleep with other women. You've brought one here, for Christ's sake! Or you go: 'Oh, you can fuck Annabelle in Holland,' or 'You'll be fucking lots of women in showbiz, mark my words.' I like it that you have a liberal outlook, but on day ONE?!”
She had been nodding all the time, never breaking eye contact.
“I get it. You're right. I overdid it. I know why, too. I'm so very, very afraid to lose you again. And I think I will, if I claim you. After all, you seem to have a taste for playing the field, you're still getting it out of your system. You were fucking Diana and Melody at the same time and you seemed very happy then.”
Leaning forward so much was becoming difficult, but she had a solution for that: she moved to sit astride me, just as she had done when she was a kid. Only then I didn't have to deal with her lovely tits hovering in front of me. And she didn't try to kiss me then, at least not on the mouth. It did feel extremely nice though, to revisit this position we'd spent so many hours in. And now it wasn't a problem if my dick got hard from her moving around, either. I used to have to send her away back then, to get me a glass of water or something.
“I was. But I never asked Melody to come and have sex. She got into my shower. She stepped into my bed. She showed up at my house. I'll admit I didn't have it in me to resist her, but I never initiated it. And she always pretended it was no big deal. Just two people passing the time. Friends with benefits. Then one day she says: 'Sorry, I've fallen for you.' But for you, Kate, I'd send her away. I played with her because I wasn't more than Diana's fucktoy anyway and they were stressful times as it was. I needed the release.”
“And she's gorgeous,” said Kate.
“Yes. She is. But on the inside she's even prettier. Be that as it may: if you want me, you can have me. But I'm trying very hard to take this seriously, to take your hand in mine, to look at you as my girlfriend. I have to know I'm taking this as seriously as you.”
“Okay. You're right. It's just... No, never mind. You're right.”
“Just what? Come on, out with it.”
“Just... I'll be gone a lot. Days, weeks. I'd love to know you're in good hands. Hers.”
“I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself, particularly if we have Skype to keep in touch. And Melody needs to get into Harry's shower and Harry's bed. He's a fantastic man, they'd be great together. I can stand to let her go because I have you. It's going to hurt her a bit. Let's not stretch that out.”
“And this is why I love you,” she said, kissing me again. “Can we do one more naughty thing before bed?”
“Like what?”
“Can I... try to give you a footjob? I've been practicing, I want to know if it paid off.”
“Practicing on who?”
“Table legs, mostly. Can I?”
“Sure. I'll warn you: it's exhausting, keeping your legs up.”
She wasn't even listening, but pulled back my sheets and made me take off my underwear. Then she sat opposite me and began to rub my dick with her feet, to get me hard. That took about three seconds. She leaned back on her arms, spread her knees and brought her feet together on both sides of my cock. She had fresh pink nail polish.
“Is it... weird if I talk dirty?”
“I'd love to hear that. But it would also be nice if you took those panties off. For the view.”
“I'd rather not. I've got a tampon there. I thought I was over it this afternoon, but after you did me on the kitchen table I found out... Well, you won't want the details. There's a few pussy pics and vids for you on my phone though. I was going to send them to you as Emma.”
“I'm happy just looking at your face. You've always been the prettiest girl I know.”
She blushed and made me ejaculate in two minutes flat. That was a first for me; Monique had never managed more than about thirty seconds. As it turned out, our parents don't keep tissues on the bedside stand. When I had recovered I reached for my shirt, to clear it up.
“Wait...” said Kate. “Can I...”
“Really? It's hardly vanilla frosting.” And it was all over my stomach and chest.
She moved over again and cleaned me up from my dick to near my nipples, making sure to look at me as much as possible. She moaned as her tiny tongue licked my sperm. By the time she was done, I was nearly ready to shoot another load. It was incredibly hot.
“I'll um... go and brush my teeth again. Because I'm guessing kissing is out, for now. And I don't want my tonsils to get pregnant.”
She hopped out of the bed, leaving me behind laughing at her joke. I made myself stop when I realised the bedroom door was open and Melody might wake up.
When she got back we kissed and cuddled a bit and finally fell asleep. I slept without even waking up once and woke up from kisses all over my face and someone's hand grabbing my dick through my underpants.
“Hello boyfriend,” said a smiling Kate.
“Hello girlfriend. Enjoying yourself?”
“Oh yes. I'm sorry if it's a bit... rapey... but I've been wanting to do this to you in the morning for a LONG time. Actually I was going to do more, but you woke up.”
“Sorry about that.”
She rolled onto her back again.
“We're doing this, right? We're actually doing this. I'm so happy, Martin. Are you happy?”
“I am. And deathly afraid you'll change your mind.”
“I won't. But I worry about that with you, too. But if you do, I'll still be your sister. You'll still be nice to me, right?”
“Promise. So what time is it? We need to get some shopping in for breakfast.”
Kate's phone dinged.
“It's just gone seven, bit early to shop,” she said, reaching for it.
“Melody wants to know if we're awake. I'm texting yes.”
“Or, you know, walk over to her. She's one floor down.”
“That reminds me, we need to get you a proper phone. I've emailed my contact at Three, but she's probably not in till Monday.”
There was a modest knock on the door.
“Come in,” said Kate. Melody appeared. I would have expected her in pyjamas, but she seemed to have lost her top somewhere along the way. She peered in.
“Good morning! Can I come in?”
Kate beckoned her. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea. Melody sat on the edge of the bed, completely relaxed.
“So... How was your first time?”
“Didn't do it yet. My period started yesterday.”
She made an obscene gesture to indicate the fingerfuck.
“Poor thing! But you could have used a condom.”
Were these two maniacs really having this conversation, when my vision hadn't even restored? I always need five minutes to wake up, I hadn't even had two so far.
“Well, two problems there. Didn't bring condoms. And I've been putting it off for a while now, because I wanted to be ready in case he changed his mind. It's like the Battle of the Somme down there.”
“Jesus, Kate...” I muttered. Melody laughed. Her breasts bobbed up and down.
“I'm sure you found something else to do. Anyway, I wanted to cook you guys breakfast but they cleaned out the kitchen. How long are they gone for, anyway?”
“Five more weeks. Just over. Waitrose opens at eight, we'll be fine.”
Melody looked around.
“So this is where your parents sleep? Isn't it a bit weird, to have sex in their bed?”
I had not considered it. I'm fussy about bathroom privacy but fine about beds, apparently. But Kate had.
“I sleep in hotel beds half my life. What do you think happens in those? This one is better, at least I'm sure there's never been a dead hooker in this one. And nobody has taken a shit in it. Mind you, give it five more years with dad...”
“KATE FOR FUCK'S SAKE, I'm only just waking up!” I croaked. Melody just shook her head.
“You're like a comedy duo. How is a girl supposed to compete with that, 24 years of love?”
I was going to say she wasn't supposed to be competing anymore, but Kate said:
“Well your tits are bigger. And your pussy works. I'd say those...”
I thumped the bed. Ideally I'd liked to have thumped a table but it was all I had. Kate shut up immediately and I swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
“Ladies, we were going to keep things nice and normal. I will be in the bathroom for exactly 30 minutes and I should like to be left in peace.”
They both gave me a slightly alarmed look as I stood up and made my way downstairs. Which was what I was aiming for.
Melody was in the bathroom after me. She sat on the edge of her bed, waiting patiently.
“You really do need 30 minutes, do you?”
“That's the expedited program. I generally need 45. All yours now.”
“If you wait for about fifteen minutes, I'll come along to the supermarket. Kate is busy with work.”
I just nodded. Kate was downstairs, working on dad's laptop and her phone at the same time. She looked up when I stepped in.
“Hey. I'll be better. I promise,” she said.
“You're perfect. But be as careful with Melody as you are with me, please. She leaves today. No more games.” I kissed her forehead from force of habit.
“Okay.”
Melody and I drove to that Tesco on the beach and got enough for breakfast and lunch. We were nice and polite to each other, but I tried to keep some distance. Enough women had toyed with me to teach me a clean break was best. It was too late for that, but I'd send her on her way today. I assumed she understood that too, but when we had loaded the plastic bags into her van she said:
“Before we join Kate again... Can we talk for a bit?” She gestured at the beach. Our shopping would keep for a bit, so we walked through that tunnel and toward the water's edge. We could speak in private.
“What's on your mind?”
“Well, we haven't been together since yesterday. There's just some things on my mind. First of all, I really am very sorry I blew up and cost you your house. I feel awful about that.”
“Don't. You were right to react like that, given the facts you had available. And what pushed my landlord over the edge was not you screaming, but me calling Graham a fudgepacker. It really isn't your fault.”
“I... You're so sweet. I didn't know your life was exploding right then.”
“Yeah. Well, all's well that ends well.”
I found a flat stone and tried that thing where you make it bounce. Doesn't work on the sea. Seagulls had spotted us and began to walk up, hoping I had food. It was strange to see Melody here, at the beach, in the salty air. I had come to associate her with London.
“Okay, so... You and Kate. That's quite something,” she said, her hands deep in her pockets.
“Yes. Remarkable.”
That was all I had to say, really. Especially to her. But she had simply used it as an opening statement.
“Are you sure you're not faking it to please her? Or maybe you're … confused? Because before yesterday, the idea never even crossed your mind. And we were... you know. Compatible.”
“I know. And Kate is right: I would fake it for her. For the rest of my life. But the thing is, I'm not. It's not as if I lust after my own sister now, that's still weird. But she has made it quite clear that it is important to her and so I'm making myself act like a boyfriend. Which is easier than you'd think. Much, much easier.”
A seagull now walked between us, as if to say: 'Remember us, someone has to shit on those cars, you know. We can't make poop from thin air.'
“What makes it hard,” I continued, “is that she has strange ideas about fidelity. She seems obsessed with making sure I get enough companionship and sex when she is away. To the point where she dragged you along with us and is giving off signs I'm free to mess about with you.”
“I... got that idea as well.”
A larger than average wave folded in on itself and forced us to take a few steps back. Joggers following the waterline to take advantage of the hard sand were surprised by this. Their shoes go