People jump from their seats and hurry to Jesus, touching his body, hands and clothing. Jesus beams and hugs people tightly, he even kisses some of them. “I love you all!” he shouts. Soon, it’s difficult to get through to him.
“Where have you been?” someone asks.
“I had my hands full, you know,” Jesus excuses himself. “There’re so many other planets that need my help. But now I’m back and I’m planning to stay for a while. Things are a little off here.”
“Could you heal my psoriasis?” Andrew raises his hand.
“Could you … how about resurrecting my wife?” Peter picks up the subject.
“I need a better job,” Jamie adds to the bucket list.
“My house is too small!”
“Guys, please!” Jesus says. “I’m not here to fix your problems. I’m here to redeem you.”
“Whatever that is,” Andrew makes a sarcastic remark.
The priest pushes his way through to Jesus: “Could we please carry on with the mass? Actually, would you mind waiting in my office?”
“Why?” Jesus is surprised.
“You’re disturbing church affairs, you know?”
“But it’s my birthday party,” Jesus is taken aback. “The church … and you, are supposed to represent me. How can I bother my own affairs?”
“This isn’t a party, this is a ceremony. There’re rules, you know?” the priest insists.
People are confused whom to follow: the priest or Jesus.
“What a déjà vu,” Jesus replies thoughtful. “I also used to quarrel with the priests in Jerusalem’s temple.” Jesus looks at the priest in an awkward way, who lowers his eyes and stares at the floor. “How about I give a speech? I love giving speeches.” The priest doesn’t find a reason to deny the request and people sit down expectantly.
Jesus climbs into the pulpit and beams: “My people…!” He spreads his arms, looking at them with indulgence. “I’m a very happy man … I’m also a lucky man. A long time ago, I stumbled upon a great secret.” He makes a theatrical pause. “The secret about my … about our true identity. We’re not just people, you know? We’re also … how can I say this? … We’re divine,” Jesus dramatically emphasizes the last word.”
“All of us! Not just you, him, her, me, all people, black, white, yellow, red, big, small, strong, weak, smart, rich, and … unprivileged. Everyone is divine. Actually, this shouldn’t come as a surprise, since it’s written that mankind was created in God’s image and likeness. But for some strange reason, you guys need to be continuously reminded of that. The good news is that you can actually experience your divinity. And it happened to me. I saw myself … I saw my divine self. And that changed everything.”
“You’re God, not us,” Tom lodges a protest.
“No, Tom. This is the point I’m making: we are all God Child.”
“I’m not the Son of God, I’m a worker at the tire factory down the road, close to retirement, with a 250,000 dollar mortgage. Nothing divine about that,” Tom makes everybody laugh.
“You’re right, little brother, you’re that man, but you’re also God Child. You’re both. That’s the great news … and a bit funny as a matter of fact,” Jesus grins.
“What’s funny about my life?” Tom’s sarcasm lingers on.
“You’re God Child, immortal, you inherited all of God’s powers, but you work like a slave. Isn’t that hilarious?” Jesus doubles up.
“Don’t make fun of me like that.” Tom is close to tears.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Tom! You’re a good, brave man. You’re carrying your cross like I did. You’re doing your thing. As a God, you could have stepped out of that factory any time. You could have forsaken friends and family to claim your place in Heaven, but you never did. You’re like me, I didn’t step down from the cross either. You should be pleased with yourself.” By now Tom is shedding tears, but proud ones. Someone shouts another hallelujah.
Jesus scrutinizes the crucifix again. He raises his right arm and points at it: “This is not my message! My message is that all people will have an inevitable happy end, like I had … have. The crucifixion was just a means to an end - my glorious resurrection. I lived again and roamed this planet. Why are there no symbols of my resurrection here in this church?” People look at each other, surprised and a bit embarrassed.
“I resurrected God Child inside me and thereby, turned into a living god. Is my memorandum really lost? Was it all for nothing?” Jesus shakes his head.
“Tell us. Please tell us more about your memorandum,” someone cries.
Jesus looks at people with a melancholic expression in his eyes. Then, he takes a deep breath and carries on with the flair of someone disclosing a secret: “Look, guys. There’s a way. There is a way to … divinity. There’s a way to becoming a living god. There is … are many means to reconnect to God Child inside. And after that connection is made, after you realize that you are God Child, the way is open to change this,” Jesus waves his hands over his body. “You can build another body - a miracle body. That’s what I did: I destroyed the temple and resurrected it within three days. I got a new body. I can eat and drink with it, but actually, it doesn’t need anything to survive, neither air, water, nor food. I can assemble and disassemble it at will. I can travel with it to other planets. Think, what that would mean for you! Adventures galore!”
“No more labor,” Tom shouts thrilled.
“No more labor,” Jesus confirms with a generous smile. “No more pain, no more suffering, neither hunger, nor thirst. Just happiness and exciting adventures. You will be freeeeeeeeeeeee!” Jesus sings, throwing his arms into the air.
“Halleluja,” people shout as the priest’s jaw drops.
“How do we get that new body?” Simone asks.
“There are certain procedures…,” Jesus hesitates. “Do you really know nothing of this?”
“No, nobody taught us anything like that,” Simone confirms.
“I see. Hmm … I could teach you,” Jesus agrees thoughtful.
“Can we have that body now?”
“I’m afraid not. It takes decades, sometimes more than a life-time.”
“Can’t you just give it to us? Work a miracle!”
“The Kingdom of Heaven cannot be inherited, it cannot be bestowed. You need to take matters into your own hands. You need to redeem yourself. I can only show you the way.”
“Really?” People are disappointed.
“Yep. I gave you good news, not easy news,” Jesus drops the bomb. People turn quiet. They are used to the thought that they can go to Heaven if they simply avoid sins or have a priest remove them. To labor themselves into Heaven is a new, somewhat discouraging perspective.
“I think the problem is that your church is too gloomy,” Jesus tries to pull people out of their melancholy. “Let’s take the stick out of our butts and have a party, shall we? Let’s celebrate the wonder of being … how do you say this? … of being Homo sapiens. God gave you a life on this planet to work hard on the great work, but also to enjoy life!”
This seems to raise people’s spirits again. Jesus gets down from the pulpit and pulls people from their seats. “Organ - music!” he demands. The organist plays a happy church chorus and people sing, some join Jesus dancing. Jesus heals some people from complaints and itches, which raises cheer to a new level. By now, people are comfortable with Jesus, they can feel him, and give in to his contagious glee.
“I love you, bro!” a woman shouts.
“I love you too, sis!” Jesus shouts back. His smile broadens as he watches people’s hearts filling with love. There’s a feeling in the air that everybody is a member of a great family.
The priest pulls Jesus’ sleeve. “Would you have a minute? Can we talk in private?”
“Sure, why not, they can do without us for a while,” Jesus agrees cheerfully.
The priest drags him into his office.
* * *