“I’m very happy that you’re here and that I can meet you in person, but,” the priest struggles to find the right words.
“…I should have prepared you, I know that now,” Jesus is forgiving.
“No, it’s not that. It’s … how can I say this? I don’t think the church needs you.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The church doesn’t … we don’t really need you. Why don’t you do your thing somewhere else … on another planet?”
“I really thought you guys needed me right now. There’s still so much violence on this planet, people are losing their spiritual marbles, your church is closing parishes faster than the government spends taxes,” Jesus doesn’t believe his ears.
“That’s true, that’s true, but I think we can handle it. Actually, I believe you would make matters worse.”
“Really? Why’s that?”
“Well, if you spread that happy news you talked about earlier … that people can redeem themselves, what about the church? What about me? We won’t be needed anymore.”
“Ahh, I see. Don’t worry about that, little brother. People will still need you for a while. Also, you will be busy becoming a living god yourself.”
“That’s the thing … I’m not sure if I really want to.”
“Are you kidding me? Do you want to stay like this - a feeble mortal?” Jesus raises his eyebrows, waving both hands over the priest’s body.
“I was happy before you came. Now, I don’t know what will be. I worry that everything will fall apart. If people know that they can be like you, they will just do that, nothing else. They will stop going to work. It’ll be chaos.”
“I know. I did this many times already. It’s a good chaos.” Jesus sounds convincing.
“I don’t think the world … this planet is ready for that.”
“You have a point, people are never ready for that, in particular priests and politicians. It has been a suicide mission every time, “Jesus replies thoughtful. But this is the second time I’m around. This time it’ll be smoother.”
“I really don’t think so. I know people. They become euphoric for a while and then … back to the daily grind. Nobody can jump over his own shadow.”
“I can … look!” Jesus jumps over his shadow.
“Figuratively, I mean,” the priest mumbles annoyed.
“I can also jump over my shadow figuratively,” Jesus smiles. “I jumped over my ego and found God Child.”
“No!” the priest shouts. “Stop it! It won’t work! People cannot handle freedom. People have been managed by priests and politicians for thousands of years. They are used to being led.”
“But you’re not leading them anywhere, especially not to Heaven,” Jesus complains.
“I know. I know. But it’s better if people are led nowhere than not led at all. It’s unfortunate, but only a few can carry the burden of truth. I know the bloody truth and I do this for my people - that’s my cross. ”
“I think you’re underestimating people. Why don’t you give them a chance?” Jesus looks a bit indignant.
“Trust me: I know what I’m talking about: people are happy … they are happy while I lead them nowhere. The way counts, not the goal, do you know what I’m talking about?”
“That’s so cynical, man,” Jesus raises his finger. “ I’m afraid I cannot accept that.” Jesus glares at the priest for a long time. He feels that Jesus is probing deep into his soul, scavenging for something. Eventually, Jesus brightens up and seems to come up with a solution, but he holds it back and asks the priest instead: “What do you suggest?”
“I suggest … let’s make a group photo and then you go on your way. People can hang it in their living rooms. Then, they go back to work and to church. When they despair, they can look at the picture and feel happy and special.”
“But there’s a mission to be executed on this planet. What about that? Mind that God Father sent me. You don’t want to mess with Him, trust me.” Jesus peers at the priest expectantly.
“Uhh … how about if you allow the church to execute God’s mission?” the priest inquires meekly.
“That won’t work, I’m afraid. It hasn’t worked for the past two millennia, has it? I’m not saying that the church’s mission is wrong, but it’s different from mine. My memorandum needs to be back out in the open.” Jesus waits for the priest to respond, but he runs out of words.
“I have an idea,” Jesus lightens him up.
“What’s that?”
“You take my place.”
“What? Me? Impossible!”
“Possible. I dub you apostle.”
“I cannot accept that mission, I’m afraid. I’m a priest of this church,” he finds an excuse.
“I guess you can’t have it all. You choose: I stay or you take my place,” Jesus grins at him maliciously and then, gives him some bait: “You could make a smooth transition from catechism to my memorandum.”
“Hmm … what’s the lesser evil?” the priest scratches his head.
Music flutters into the office. They hears people in the church singing: “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, we all will be like Jesus! Long live Tom Christ! Hail Matt Christ! Praise Simone and Jude Christ!”
“Maybe I take your place,” the priest gives in, shaking his head.
“Excellent choice, excellent choice,” Jesus beams. He strips down butt-naked and hands the priest his sackcloth and sandals.
“Is this really necessary?” the priest blushes.
“I’m afraid so. It comes with the job.”
“Can I keep my underwear at least?” the priests accepts the sackcloth and sandals.
“No problem.” Jesus hugs the priest tightly, who tries to recoil from his nudity. Jesus puts his hands on the priest’s shoulders again and examines him one last time to make sure that his heart agrees with the mission and that he will keep his word. Then, Jesus kisses him on his sweaty forehead. “Tell them that I love them dearly,” he says his last words and slowly dissolves into a mist.
The priest stares at the small fog that hovers in his office for a moment before it disappears. Did this really happen? Am I going crazy? He feels the weight of the sackcloth and sandals in his hands. He hears Tom shouting in the church: “Jesus, where are you? Get your ass over here!” Slowly, the priest removes his attire and puts on Jesus’ clothes. He hesitates before the door. He feels awkward. Eventually, he opens it. A bright light and happy people welcome him. “Maybe it’s not that hard after all,” he thinks. “If Jesus is my jolly brother, God Father must be my big-hearted old man.
Let’s make him proud!” The priest takes his first step into his new life.
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