Lost Innocence by Simon Palmer - HTML preview

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SIXTEEN

 

MY MONEY had finally come through. It had been given to 'Bald Guard,' then most of it had found its way to me. I bought flip-flops and clothes from a guy with dog breath, topped up on toiletries then took care of John.

"That's more than you owe me, mate."

"It's not nearly enough for all you've done."

"You can survive in here with money, mate."

"Where can I get hold of a bed roll?"

"They're usually inherited when someone dies or is released. You want me to get you one?"

"Why don't you have one?"

"I'm okay on the floor…You want to hear about the first girl I ever took back to my room?"

"Yeah, okay."

"I'd never paid for sex before and was nervous the first time I did. I'd met Suk in a pool bar. She was a tall, sexy babe with long, black hair and high hips. She wore a tight white dress with a slit to show a little leg and her firm arse was as wide and as round as a water melon; it showed through the creases of her dress whenever she took a shot. We played a few games. She soon warmed to my charm and I eventually asked her back.

When I got her to my room, I was embarrassed at how bare it was. I was travelling on a budget and I didn't care but it was basic. All it had was a creaky, double bed, tired, torn bed sheets and a dusty fan that hardly worked; even the window was cracked.

She stepped in and didn't comment - didn't care. I handed her a beach towel, directed her to the bathroom then sprayed a little Brut around the room. I threw all my loose clothes into my case under the bed and was sliding it back when she returned in just the towel. She glided over to me, her shoulders smooth and her smile naughty.

I lay back, invited her to join me and watched as she climbed on the bed and crawled over to me like a horny cat. She smelt like a strawberry cheesecake with vanilla cream. She reached over, unbuckled my belt, slid down my shorts then pulled off my boxers with her teeth. Then losing the towel to reveal a perfectly made pair and the smoothest of openings, she took me in her mouth and earned her name.

Once she felt I was ready for more, she stopped, slipped a rubber onto 'Little John,' lifted her body onto mine and began the most erotic bouncing I'd ever experienced. She rode me like a horny bride on her honeymoon and didn't stop till I was done. She was the first I'd ever paid for and still the best."

He paused for effect then turned to me. "You don't talk about women much, mate."

"I guess I don't have so many experiences."

"You must have a story or two."

I cleared my throat as I thought of something and began. "I was returning home from work one evening and riding an escalator when I saw the most beautiful girl coming down the other side. She was wearing a sleek black dress with a silver strip and for the briefest moment, her eyes met mine. I looked back at her - she was smiling at me."

"And then what? You got off, went down to find her, got her number, bought her dinner?"

"No. I was on my way home."

John sat there with a bemused look. "Is that it?"

"That's how it happened."

"That's hardly a story, mate."

"How old will your son be now?"

"…The same years as I've been inside, ten."

"I wonder how he looks."

"I can only imagine. It drives me to go on, hoping that one day I'll meet him and be back with Nui. You know for the last ten years I've tortured myself for what I did. Agreeing to smuggle heroin was bad enough. I never wanted to do that in the first place, but disappearing from my wife's life when she was heavily pregnant, leaving her as her father did before; if she never forgives me, I wouldn't blame her. When you get out, I want you to go to her and tell her why I did what I did and ask her to wait for me if she hasn't met someone else. I can't hide anymore, its killing me."

"Are you sure you want me to tell her that? Why don't you think about it first?"

"That's all I've been doing for the last ten years.

Just see that she's all right, please."

I nodded, he went quiet - I left him alone.

The heat from the scorching sun bore down on us. John and I were standing butt-naked by the trough, washing ourselves as others tried nudging their way in. I was shocked when a short man standing next to me pulled down his shorts then masturbated onto the floor. Some of the others laughed, some slapped the back of his head.

I waited for John then followed him to dry out under the sun. He handed me some clean clothes.

"Cheers," I smiled as I slipped them on.

"Would you like to meditate?"

I nodded and joined him as I did most days. His first instruction was always to sit cross-legged in the lotus position, with my back completely straight. This allowed the diaphragm to move freely and therefore helped breathing. He went into great detail and although I always tried to take in his words, I often found myself nodding off. This time was no different. He tapped my hand then went off on one of his rambles.

"Your mind may begin to wander. It tends to flow towards whatever attracts it. Compose yourself with determination, resolve and intent. Do not let it drag you where it wants to. If you meditate daily, soon your inner strength and mind-power will grow. Meditation is the gateway through which you pass to the world of freedom."

I nodded - we began. He was a little over-fanatical for my taste, but at least I was exploring something new. I respected him. He was a wise man who had used meditation and Buddhism to help release the guilt of his crime. From what he claimed, it had not only preserved his sanity, but kept him alive.

The room filled with shouting from the inmates. John cocked his head to one side, listened then announced, "Someone has died."

I watched as a motionless body was poked, prodded, pointed out to a guard then dragged away by a couple of trusties.