Soong and I were standing outside my door talking about Mike, the guy she was now seeing, when we saw the homeless man, or the underwear cop. After throwing me a dirty look, he smiled at Soong. “Hey Soong! How’d your last assignment go?”
“Is fucking shiiiit,” Soong said with a laugh. “Fifty-five percent only.”
“Aw, that’s too bad. But you passed, right?”
Soong nodded. “But I pass, so is good.”
He put out his hand. Soong high-fived him.
To my surprise, he opened the door of the apartment…across from me. I looked at Soong with big eyes. He hadn’t been following me, he had been returning to his apartment! And to think I closed the elevator doors on him. Crap! I made a mental note not to get so para…normal in the future. My mind was littered with mental notes, as you can see.
“Bear, you meet my friend Arena?”
Underwear Cop looked directly at me and for the first time I noticed cobalt eyes. “Yeah, she’s the one who shut the elevator on me,” he complained in a baritone voice.
“Oh, sorry about that,” I mumbled, my face flaming.
His name was Bear? Really? He looked like one though.
“That’s because she think you are homeless man,” Soong said and collapsed into fits of giggles.
Bear frowned. “Whaaaat?”
Soong shut up!
“She from St Ives, you know. And she South African too. She get very scared of you that night.”
His bushy eyebrows shot up as he eyed me in disbelief.
Soong, shut up!
“Homeless?” He made a point of checking out his threads. “Homeless…”
“She say…” Soong continued laughing, “she say…she think you steal her purse and –”
“Whaaaat?”
“Soooooong!” I hissed. “Will you stop?”
“– take her in the side of the building and rape her.”
“Rape her? Me? Is your friend nuts?”
My hands flew to cover my face, while Soong laughed harder.
With an amused smile on his face, Bear folded his arms across his chest, widened the gap between his legs, and eyed me.
“Whaaat?” Soong asked, still laughing. “I lie? I no lie, right? My story hundred percent.”
I gave a dismissive wave and groaned with embarrassment. “I…I gotta go,” I muttered and shut the door on their laughter.
“So what else did she say?” I heard him ask.
Behind the closed door, I shoved all my knuckles into my mouth and cringed. What else was she saying to him?
Oh God! He was my neighbor – how do I handle living across from him after all the things I said about the man?
****
Two days later, I found myself next to Bear waiting for the elevator, stroller in hand. Immediately, my face felt hot. “Hi,” I muttered.
“Hi,” he returned. The twinkle in his eye told me that he found my embarrassment highly entertaining.
For a few moments, we stood in strained silence, but I was aware of a smirk on his hairy face.
Finally, I could bear it no more. I whirled to look up at him. “Look, I’m sorry I said those things. I didn’t know that you’re a cop and I just…I was scared, okay, and really, I shouldn’t have said all those things because –”
“Relax,” he said in a rich, highly amused voice. “Neighbor.”
I fell silent and bit my bottom lip.
The elevator arrived and he held the door open for me.
“Thank you,” I said, feeling like something between a fool and a nutcase.
“You’re welcome,” he said, his eyes crinkling at the sides.
I walked on.
“So, you don’t like beards, then?” he said from behind me.
“Oh God!” I groaned. “She told you –”
“– everything. And if I were you, I would turn red too.” He looked like he was trying not to laugh out loud.
I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling. “Remind me never to rob a bank with her. Maybe I should move. To the moon, Mars, wherever!”
He laughed.
My head dropped. “I’m sorry. I…gosh, I haven’t been this embarrassed in a long time.” I looked up at him. “At least you’re entertained, right?”
“Well, yeah. I haven’t been this entertained in a long time. And you should be sorry, and you should be doing everything to make it up to me.”
I gave an embarrassed chuckle. “When my ship comes in, I will buy you a cup of hot chocolate,” I said. “Howzat?”
He appeared to think about it. “With marshmallows?”
I smiled. “It’s fifty cents more, but hey, you’re so worth it, I’m sure.”
We both laughed as the elevator reached the ground floor.
“Have a nice day,” I said to Bear as I left the elevator.
“You too,” he said, and disappeared around the corner.
****
We bumped into each other often in the building, and whenever we did, we shared knowing smiles and some light banter. He high-fived Warren, talked to Sasha, and seemed friendly with all the residents in the building.
“You should know that Soong called you paranormal,” he said.
“You should know that Soong called you an underwear cop,” I said in a smartarse voice.
We both laughed once again.
Most of the time after our encounters in the building or in the elevator, I left red-faced, but smiling. He came across as a little shy, and I think that’s why he hid behind all that facial hair. Knowing that he was shy made me a little bolder.
One day, I turned to him and said, “I’ve invited Soong and Mike to dinner. Would you like to come too?”
He looked taken aback by my invite. Had I perhaps been a little too bold? Too forward?
“Eh, when?”
“Tomorrow night. Before you say yes, I must warn you, it’s a simple dinner.”
What I meant was, it wasn’t going to be a sit-down, four-course, catered dinner like I used to throw when I was married to Tom the tyrant.
“Eh…”
“It’s okay if you can’t or you don’t want to. I mean, like I understand and –”
“Arena!”
I stopped babbling.
“I have my daughter with me. Would you mind if I brought her along?”
I looked at him in surprise. I had no idea he had kids. Was he married? Oh no, did I just assume he was single and make an ass out of just me?
“Sure. Absolutely. Of course. How old is she?”
“Four.”
“Perfect! Warren would love it. “You’re not married, right?” I had to ask.
“No, not at all.”
I nodded. Thank God!
“Well, then I’d love to come to dinner and…simple is good. What can I bring?”
“Oh, just some wine, perhaps.”
“Okay. I’m looking forward to your cooking.”
“Oh.” I bit my bottom lip again. “Hope I don’t disappoint you.”
“You’d better not,” he said with a smile. “You have a lot of making up to do. Rape, homeless, shutting the elevator on me…a lot, remember?”
“Oh shaddup!” I muttered, wanting the earth to open up and swallow me right then and there.
He laughed. “See you tomorrow night.”
I couldn’t believe that I had actually asked a guy out. How daring was that? Brazen. This really was the new me, I thought.
Mike, Soong’s latest flame, was a pleasant guy, in his forties and in Sydney on a work contract. I doubted it was anything serious between them, but they seemed to be having fun. Mike and Soong had invited me a few times to Soong’s place, so it was my turn to reciprocate. Soong didn’t cook, and Mike was dying for some home cooking.
It was the first time I would be entertaining, and I was quite excited about it. I had received money from the work I had done, so I could afford a simple dinner.
The appealing thing was that I could have fun while preparing to entertain. With Kanye and Jamie Fox’s “Golddigger” playing in the background, and Warren helping to peel potatoes while Sasha crawled around, it was just a great, laid-back atmosphere.
So what if the crockery wasn’t matching and the glasses weren’t Royal Doulton and the cutlery wasn’t Georg Jensen? It was all still good to me.
Unlike the times when I was with Tom – if things weren’t perfect for our guests, Tom would get furious and worked up, so much so, that every time we entertained, I used to be terribly stressed and simply dreaded entertaining. Now I was in control and loving every moment of it.
Because I had two kids under five, I had to prepare well in advance, and I did. I actually started early that morning. By the time my guests arrived, I was almost done, just the salad left to assemble.
When I caught myself belting out “Feel This Moment” with Christina and Pitbull, I stopped my dicing, put down my knife, and smiled. This moment needed to be savored like fine wine. And I did. I cracked open a Heineken, took a huge gulp, and smiled. Beer, not wine.
Beer was significant at that moment. Tom liked beer but never drank it in public – didn’t want to come across as a beer-drinker for fear he’d be mistaken for a yobbo (an Australian term for an uncouth person). So he only drank Johnny Walker Blue Label around friends. You know, to impress them further.
I liked beer too, but of course, I wasn’t even allowed to buy it. Had to drink champagne in a long-stemmed crystal glass in front of people.
But in my teeny tiny kitchen, I was drinking beer in a can – cheap and tacky and I loved it!
Freedom – what a delightful thing to be able to do whatever you like. Never again would I give it to a man.
Talking about men…if I was being really honest, I’d say that I was looking forward to seeing Bear, my homeless-man-underwear-cop. I had some serious making up to do, and I was going to do it tonight.
Mike and Soong arrived first, bringing a ton of food and drink, for which I was grateful.
Bear was the last to arrive, and he brought starters, desserts, wine and beer, and goodies for the kids.
“Wow, Santa!” I said, impressed with his generosity. “You didn’t have to bring so much stuff, but thanks.”
“Ho! Ho! Ho! And you’re welcome,” he said. “This lovely girl here is Amy. She’s four, and has never met a lolly she didn’t like.”
Amy looked a lot like Bear, and she was equally shy, hiding behind his legs. Until she met Charlie and Warren. She ran off with them and we never saw her again until it was time to eat.
“Welcome to my humble abode,” I said with Sasha on my hip.
“Thank you. Can I help with anything?”
“Eh, drinks, please. If you can top up everyone’s glasses...”
We had a pleasant evening, during which I discovered that Soong had told him all about my abusive marriage and my great escape.
“Oh God, Soong!” I muttered in dismay.
Bear grinned at my discomfort. “She also told me you didn’t like –”
“Don’t say it!” I begged. “Please don’t.” I looked at Soong. “I’m gonna kill you, Soong.”
“But Honey, he ask me,” Soong protested. “He ask me all the time about you. Every time.”
I swung around to look at him, my eyebrows elevated.
“She’s…she’s lying,” he said, his face turning red in spite of all that facial hair.
My turn to grin. Busted!
Soong’s jaw dropped. “I…not…not a…liar. He ask so muuuuuch. Why she leave her husband? She see anybody right now?”
Alcohol, when it came to Soong, doubled as truth serum.
Bear scratched his head. “Anybody got duct tape? I got some gagging to do.”
“How old she be…? So many questions, I say, ‘Bear, you want to know, why you don’t ask her?’”
“Fuuuuck!” I heard him mutter. His turn to pray for a natural disaster to occur right then.
When Soong and Mike left, Bear lingered behind and helped with the dishes. Soong didn’t help at all. The thing about Soong – as sweet as she was to me, she had few domestic skills and wasn’t a very good mother. She loved Charlie, make no mistake about that, but she had grown up in a brothel and experienced not an ounce of mothering herself. She didn’t even know her mother. She was always fascinated when she saw me nurturing my kids, and she ran off and copied me a lot, which was great for little Charlie.
After Bear and I finished with the dishes, we put the kids to sleep, including little Amy, and moved to the balcony where we sat and chatted for hours. Light, flirty banter.
“So what’s your real name?” I asked.
“Guess.”
I chuckled. “Wolf?”
He grinned. “Close. My name is Shane Shaw.”
“Chainsaw? Hey, that’s an awesome name!”
“Funny!” he said, his eyes crinkling.
“Well, nice to meet you, Shane.”
“The pleasure’s all mine,” he said in a shy voice.
We chatted some more, and when I looked at the time, it was 3 a.m.
“I guess I should leave you,” Bear said.
“I guess I should go to sleep or my little monsters will get me up at six tomorrow morning.”
Reluctantly, we stood up.
“Do you want to leave Amy here? She’s sound asleep.”
He nodded. “Good idea. No use waking her up.”
I walked him to the door.
“I had a good time in spite of Soong’s tell-all,” he said.
We both chuckled.
“Now we’re even.”
He nodded. “Guess we are.”
We smiled at each other.
He scratched the back of his neck, then jerked his head around. “Would you…would you like to go to like…out sometime? Like dinner? Or maybe…? I dunno…”
“Yes. I would like to go to dinner, Bear.”
He stopped scratching his neck and looked at me. “Oh, okay then. That’s good. Great. Um…next Saturday, then? Or is it too soon?”
“Next Saturday will be great. I’m on the shelf at the moment, so I’ve no plans.”
“Hundred percent,” he said, imitating Soong.
We both cracked up laughing.
“Well goodnight, pretty lady,” he said, then tipped my nose with his finger.
“Night, Bear,” I gushed, feeling like a teenager.
Alone in my bed, my mind drifted to Bear. He was sweet. Warm and…easy. I was looking forward to Saturday night with him.
Easy…what a nice word. Easy.