Chapter Seven:
Do You Really Wanna Know?
***Felicia***
Rah wasn’t telling me everything. But I knew it was some serious shit going on because he flew outta here faster than a bat outta hell. I felt my stomach tighten and I tried not to panic. My chest heaved in and out until I laid on my back across the king sized bed. Filling my lungs with air and exhaling slowly until my heartbeat went back to normal. This was not how I planned on spending my time in Jamaica, but Amir was in trouble. My mind starting pulling memories of the night Rah came over saying someone tried to kill him. I figured it was a girl with her nose wide open until now. His ass was fine but not fine enough to go to jail for.
For the first time since I’ve known I was pregnant, I felt a flutter in my stomach. It was so faint I didn’t notice it at first but then it happened again. I pressed my hand onto my stomach and felt a small fluttering of movements close to my ribs. It hit home that I was really carrying a baby inside of me and that it was with the one man I wanted most. Instead of making me happy it made me sadder, knowing this baby was going to be another black statistic. I tried not to cry but couldn’t help it. Before I knew it, I cried myself to sleep with one hand on my stomach and the other gripping the combination to the safe.
A few hours later and I could feel the sunlight warming the side of my face. A glass of orange juice, two slices of toast and an omelet was sitting on a tray at the foot of the bed. I used the phone on the side of the bed to dial the kitchen.
“Sorry to bother you but can I get a cup full of ice chips please?” I’ve been having a craving for ice chips for weeks now and don’t know what that’s all about. I dived into my food feeling extremely hungry and avoided looking on Raheim’s side of the bed. For the last few weeks I woke up to him in the morning. Before I could say “come in” my bedroom door was opened by Nellie, one of the housekeepers.
“Mum, see you be wantin a lickle more just call me,” she sat the cup of ice on my tray and turned to leave.
“Wait, can I ask you something? Is there any Dr.’s around here?” I didn’t want her in my business cause I knew all the tongues in the house would be set ablaze.
“Dr.? Chile you be needin to see Cecily down dere by da market. You feelin sick?” her question was designed for a lesser mind to start talking- but not me.
“A little, but I think it’s all this fresh air. Thanks for the ice,” I ended the conversation before she could start prying any further. I was about due to see a Dr. I was already at the end of my second trimester and though I felt fine, you never know. After breakfast, I would have Lucius drive me to the market to see this Cecily.
I took a quick shower and put on a colorful ankle length maxi dress that made my breasts look bigger. I took a few hundred from the safe before slipping on a pair of blue flip flops and paging Lucius to meet me at the front of the house. He asked me where to before closing the van doors.
“Cecily down by the market please.” He nodded like he knew exactly where to go and we pulled off. I knew this might be the last time I got to see Jamaica, so I paid close attention to everything around me. The tall trees seemed to be leaning forward to offer me shade and the birds seemed to be singing me my own song. The road went from being unpaved and bumpy to being smooth and level. The van stopped just short of an old beat up building. It was two stories high and had a weathered wooden door. Out in front was an old woman with shiny, dark leathery skin. Fine lines were found around her eyes and nose. Her hair shot out from her scalp like a cloud of black and silver smoke forming an Afro. She didn’t speak a word, only held out her hand for me to help her stand up. The cool of her palm surprised me in the morning heat. Lucius went back into the van to wait for me. I was a bit freaked out, but waited to see if any shady shit jumped off. She turned to face me before talking.
“So you be lookin for a docta?”
“Yes, I haven’t been feeling good.” I tried to lie but she cut me off by placing her hands on my stomach. I moved back bumping into a table, I don’t know if I was more surprised that she touched me or that she knew what I was there for.
“You about five months?”
“No six and I’ve only been to see my doctor two times since I’ve found out.”
“Is the baby in dere movin round?” Her expression told me she was about her business, so I decided to answer her questions.
“Yes.”
“You from the U.S, I know because yous a skinny lickle ting.” She started pulling small jars filled with liquid off of shelves. I hoped she didn’t think I would be drinking any of it.
“When you and your husbin going back to the states Chile?”
“I’m not married and my child’s father had to go back yesterday for business.” For a brief moment I saw a look of judgment cross her aged face and it made tears well in my eyes. I hated being this emotional and it started to feel like everything could make me cry. She wrapped her arms around me and let me cry into her shoulder.
“No worries chil, you’ll be fine. Lovin a man is a woman’s first curse; her second tis not lovin herself enuf.”
***Raheim Starz***
Dre and his boy Gutta met me at the airport. Dre’s whip was a classic Grand Marquis that looked like an old police patrol car, tinted windows and sitting on 22’s. We hopped in and Dre sped off in the direction of West Philly.
“Gutta, this my man Rah and he need to hear what the fuck you told me the other day.” Gutta turned in the passenger seat to face me. There was nervous energy buzzing in the car and I felt it.
“You pissed off one of the most sadistic bitches out there homie,” Gutta started.
“Tell me something I don’t know,” I said as I worked to control the frustration threatening to creep onto my face.
“My girl is cool wit a chick name Pamela who was sent to get your brother for Jackie-”
“Who the fuck is Jackie dude?” The only Jackie I knew was a girl I messed wit back in high school and I was pretty sure she was married with children by now.
“Jackie mess wit a dude name Showboat,” he answered. I saw how tense Dre’s shoulders got at the mention of Showboat, but couldn’t figure out what this had to do with me.
“No disrespect, but who the fuck is Showboat?” I leaned forward giving Gutta all of my attention.
This time Dre spoke, his voice low and strained like I said something wrong.
“Showboat has been trying to take over my muthafuckin territory for a while now.” I could feel my anger rise. Amir was in trouble over territory.
“So what Jackie sayin, I fucked her or some shit?” My question dripped with sarcasm.
“No muthafucka, you broke her man’s jaw a while back and now her ass is out to get you for putting him down.” The blood rushed from my face causing me to fall back into my seat. Showboat was the dude at club Six-Nine the night I met up with Felicia and her girls. Before I had time to react panic gripped my chest causing me to sweat. I needed air and reached for my window switch. The fresh night air poured into the car quickly cooling my skin.
“I have to get Amir.” I said with panic heard in each word.
“I know, don’t worry I have a few dudes working on Showboat’s location right now. For now, try calling Amir’s cell again.” I obeyed Dre’s request and pulled out my phone dialing Amir’s number with lightning speed.
“Hello?” I asked into the receiver. For a moment there was only silence and then I could hear something being ripped and then Amir’s voice rush into the phone.
“Raheim? Please help me.” He sounded desperate and that made me nervous.
“Amir, listen to me where are you?” I needed him to give me a clue.
“You’ll find his ass soon enough,” The same voice from earlier came on the line.
“Hey Jackie, won’t you stop playing girl. Why the fuck you with a busted ass dude when you can be wit a real dude like me?” I tried to switch up the game. She was a girl and if she mad about her man being put down it had to be about money. I had plenty of that.
“What?” I could hear the hesitation and that’s all I needed.
“Any man willing to let his woman be in the line of danger is a nut ass dude. If you need money tell me how much and I’ll make it happen. Just let my brother go and you can have whatever you want.” I put on my best voice praying to God that she would bite the bait and take the offer. For a long moment she didn’t say anything and I thought she might take my offer.
“Bitch, I don’t want your damn money. I told you what I want and until I get it you won’t see his ass again.” I heard dead air and knew that I just lost the battle. Dre pulled over and jumped out of the car.
“Yo get the fuck out!” He shouted like he was calling me out.
“What?” I asked confused.
“I said get the fuck outta the car!” He opened the back door and dragged me by my shirt out of the car. I never saw him look so angry at me before.
“Listen, this shit is no joke. You can’t keep thinking your ass is gonna pay ya way outta shit. You really don’t know who you messing wit son, but you betta wake up real quick. This bitch got your brotha and her ass ain’t playin.” Seeing Dre so nervous made me worry about Amir more.
“Yo, you betta pray she don’t tell Showboat what the fuck you just said or Amir’s ass is as good as dead.” Gutta added his two cents from the passenger seat. I felt sick and managed to crawl back into the car before my legs gave out. I sat in silence while Dre drove over to another of his cribs in West Philly. My mind kept going back and forth from Amir, Janet and Felicia. The pressure in my head built up until I felt like jumping out of the backseat onto the street. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if something happened to my baby brother. I waited until we reached the house before I found a room in the back of the house that was unoccupied. I locked the door and dropped to my knees, the weight of my situation weighing heavy on my shoulders. Amir was probably being tortured by a crazy broad who wished he was me. I sent up a prayer to God for him to please spare my brother.
I wasn’t sure when I fell asleep but a loud banging on the door made me wake up with a pounding headache.
“Yo Rah, wake up man I need to talk to you,” Dre’s voice spoke through the door. I scrambled to my feet and unlocked the door to the room.
“We bout to ride out, your ass been sleep for a minute. Showboat’s turf is in North Philly so we going to get some answers. I figure his ass know I’m his enemy so he may show his face if he see me around his neighborhood.”
“Dre I think we need a better plan. Maybe we been going about this shit the wrong way. We know she has Amir, at this point I need to figure out how to get her to tell me where she at.”
“I’m listening.”
We already know she don’t want money, so the only thing I know for sure she want is my blood. Let’s give it to her.”
Dre’s eyes looked at me with understanding. I would have to get her to trade off. Me for my brother; ain’t no point in making him pay for my shit.
“Just give me a minute to think shit through and you get your boys together. Tell em to bring the big guns.” Dre nodded before he left me in the room to think about what I just said. I really didn’t have a plan but I knew I would need to come up with one.
Within an hour I was standing around a table with some of Philly’s hardest bad asses. Trench, known for his ability to shoot a nigga without him seeing it coming, Big Mike, one of the huskiest dudes this side of the Walt Whitman and Crazy Lou, a trigger happy Puerto Rican always itching for a reason to pop one off to name a few. I never thought I would find myself in any of their company but it was what it was.
Dre filled everybody in and a few of them were riled up just from hearing Showboat’s name. Dre let them know that we would need their help during the exchange. My job was simply to call Amir’s phone to negotiate the trade. If Jackie agreed we would meet them there and ambush when the opportunity presented itself. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy but it was a risk I had to take for my brother. When I called his phone no one answered for a few rings and then I heard her voice.
“Jackie?”
“Stop acting like you know me,” she sounded frustrated.
“Listen I’m ready to give you what you’re asking for. I want to trade me for my brother,” The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. My heart started to pound in the seconds of silence as I waited for her answer.
“I’m so glad you said that big boy, now we play the game. Wait by your phone for my call. I will give you a location and if it looks like your ass has company, I will fucking shoot your brother in his balls.” The phone went silent and I felt a mix of relief and dread. I felt a sudden urge to call Felicia; I needed to hear her voice before shit hit the fan. She answered for the first time since I’ve known her on the first ring.
“Rah?”
“Hey baby, are you ok?”
“No, I felt weird waking up without you this morning. Did you find Amir?” Her question revealed her concern.
“Uh, we’re still working on it. Listen I have something I want to tell you,” I stood up and walked back upstairs. I wasn’t the only one calling their girl. I guess everybody felt the weight of what was about to happen. I waited until the door to the back room was locked before I started talking again. The air felt heavy and my chest felt tight.
“Do you remember the ugly dude from the club I got into a fight wit?
“Uh, yeah. I remember…why?” I could hear her hesitation and it made what I was about to say harder.
“Well his girl kidnapped Amir; she’s holding him hostage until she has me.”
“Wait, what? Until she has you how Raheim?”
“Listen, I need to say something to you and I need for you to listen to me?” A lump grew in my chest at the thought of what I was about to say.
“I have to get my brother before her crazy ass kills him ok? I need you to know that I love you Felicia. I loved your ass the first time I saw you and I swear I wish I would have told you sooner. If something happens to me-” She interrupted me.
“Raheim, what are you talking about?” She screamed into the phone and I knew she was crying from how her voice was shaking. I felt the energy leave from my arms and legs. “No, wait Raheim, listen I need to tell you something-” A beep came through on my other end and Amir’s number flashed across the screen.
“Shit, Felicia I gotta go, if you don’t hear from me by tomorrow get on a plane. I love you!” I clicked over with Felicia’s voice screaming my name in the background.
I couldn’t allow the heart wrenching sound of Felicia’s voice to distract me as I clicked over. I needed to focus on getting my brother before this chick really went crazy and did something I’d catch a case over.
“Meet me at the old warehouse off of 291 over by the airport at 8 tonight. If you bring anybody with you, I swear I will kill you and your punk ass brother!” She almost sounded like she was getting enjoyment out of this.
“How do I know you won’t do that anyway?”
“You don’t, but it looks like you have no other choice now. Do you?” she hung up with the sound of her laughter ringing in my ears. I ran down the stairs into the living room of Dre’s house like a mad man. Dre picked up on my agitation and jumped out of the chair he was sitting in.
“It’s on, they want me to meet them at the old warehouse building over by the airport at 8’oclock. We have to do this right cause my baby brother’s life is on the line.” I put on my brave face, but I had never been in any situation even close to this level of intensity before. I was half scared, half anxious, and part I don’t give a fuck.
Dre took over where I left off with a pep talk of his own.
“We have a few hours before we need to roll out. I can’t promise any of you niggas you’ll be coming home tonight. So if you want to walk, now is the time to do it. But if you wit it, meet back here at six. If you’ve got a wife or a girl you may want to pay her a visit if you know what I mean.”
Thoughts of Felicia lying next to me in bed made me wish she were here now. It just became real and I knew I would have to visit my aunt’s house before we left for the warehouse. I needed to make sure she knew about Felicia. Planned or unplanned she had my heart and I had to take care of her if I didn’t make it out of this shit tonight.
***Felicia***
My heart jumped out of my chest when Raheim told me someone kidnapped Amir. I knew he wouldn’t stop until he had his brother. Even if it meant he was killed in the process. I had to get home and now! I couldn’t pack fast enough. I would only take what could fit in my carryon bag, everything else was unnecessary. I turned the dial of the lock on the safe and put ten one hundred dollar bills in my purse, along with my airplane ticket. On my way to the shower my stomach began to cramp, dropping me to my knees.
“What the-?” I asked no one in particular as I rubbed my stomach in a circular motion hoping the pain wasn’t anything serious. The last thing I needed was to have my baby prematurely in Jamaica. Calm down Felicia, you will be ok, just make it home to your man, I told myself. I inhaled and exhaled in deep breaths trying to calm myself down and I felt the baby moving around some more.
“We need to get home before we lose your daddy. Please work with me here,” that was the first time I spoke directly to the baby growing inside of me and I swore the cramps stopped and I moved as fast as I could into the shower. Within thirty minutes, I was washed and changed and making my way to the front of the house for Lucius to transport me to the airport. An unfamiliar number flashed across my phone.
“Hello?”
“Felicia?” a woman’s voice asked hesitantly.
“Yes, who’s this?” This was all becoming scarier by the minute. I didn’t know if I could take anything else today.
“It’s Raheim’s aunt Sadie. Listen honey, Raheim was just here and asked that I pick you up from the airport tomorrow. He doesn’t want you to go home until he knows it’s safe.”
“I’m on my way to the airport now.” Before I could control myself, I started to cry into the phone like I knew his aunt all of my life. He talked about her enough for me to feel like I did.
“Is he ok? Did he tell you where he was going? I have to see him,” I gasped for breath.
“No honey, but we can talk when you get here ok? Call me when your plane lands ok?”
I would die of guilt if I didn’t tell Raheim that I was pregnant before the sun set tonight. He had to know and I owed it to him to tell him before he went out risking his life behind a no good muthafucka starting shit at a club.
‘Please get me to the airport as fast as you can,” I slammed the van door and listened as the old truck’s engine roared to life. We began to speed down the winding road in the direction of the airport. Jamaica was the sweetest, most exhilarating vacation I have taken in my life and I would always remember this is where I became Raheim Starz’ woman.
“God please let him live or let me die with him,” I sent up a silent prayer at the same moment my baby kicked me in the ribs.