Scene 1: Death in the alley
‘Loll: Mal, will you please go easy with that drink. Please put the bottle away. You know you can’t take hard liquor and we are in a public place.
Mal: I can take anything you can take.
Loll: You are 49 years old! Will you please act it?
Mal: I will do as I please. I am sick and tired of you trying to improve my manners, if people don’t want to know me, well, to hell with them.
Loll: I am just trying to look out for you, you know I love you.
Mal; I know, Loll, but will you please let me have my fun. I am not getting any younger and I want to wring every ounce of life out of what I have left.
Loll: The doctor said that you are supposed to take it easy; the cancer that you have will only get worse if you carry on this way.
Mal: To hell with the doctor, I know what’s best for me, I feel good when I have my booze; I always could take it, you know that.
Loll: I know, Mal, but I am worried for you.
Mal: You are the sweetest and the most caring person I know, Loll, and I love you for it, but let me have this last fling. I love drink, I love men, I love partying and I love you. You wanted me from the first moment we met. Do you remember, Loll?’
Loll: I remember; we were thrown together at the Bottle Mart store. I was nicking strong ale and you were shoplifting vodka, ha, remember the face of the young clerk when you put the soda water on the counter, and you were struggling to keep two bottles of vodka from falling out of your bra.
(Young man walks by.)
Mal: Good times Loll. Hey, doll face, do you want a blow-job?
Loll: Please, Mal, don’t start your shenanigans.
Mal: Shut up, Loll, I am trying to get us some money.
Larry: Are you talking to me, lady?’
Mal: Yes, what are you looking at me like that for?
Larry: I want to make sure that you’re a woman.
Mal: You shit faced bastard. I’ve a good mind to slap you one.
Larry: You try that, lady and I will break your neck.
Mal: Piss off, you little punk.
Larry: I tell you what, why don’t you give my dog a blow job, and I will put it on you tube.
Loll: Let’s go Mal; this is not a nice neighborhood.
Larry: What’s this? Are you talking to yourself? You are one sad case, lady. Get help; go to the hospital, climb to the roof and throw yourself off, ha, ha.
Loll: He’s going, Mal, let’s get out of here.
Mal: I’m going to get even with that bastard.
Loll: Please, Mal, he is just another nobody that you seem to be attracted to.
Mal: I am attracted to men, yes. I am not attracted to people who give me abuse. Look, he’s going into that bar over there. I’m going to follow him and demand an apology.
Loll: Please, Mal, don’t do this. You know the trouble we had in Oklahoma.
Mal: Loll, you are so nervous now, what’s the matter? You used to be a lion. I can remember when you could beat the shit out of people like him. What’s changed?
Loll: I only want to protect you. You are ill, Mal, don’t forget?
Mal: Forget the Illness, I am living now, and by God, I will have my pleasure. Look, Loll, he’s over there with that group of kids.
Loll: I want nothing to do with this, Mal, I have told you what I want, but you are, once again, going your way.
Mal: That’s like a song, or movie, Loll. Remember the film? ‘Going my way’; how wonderful it was. Bing Crosby was the tops then. Life is certainly weird and wonderful isn’t it, Loll? He was the tops then and now it is my turn. Come on, loll, and let’s start a little trouble. Hey you, shit face.
Larry: Well, if it isn’t the Drag Queen?
Mal: I want an apology off you.
Larry: OK, then, here it is. I’m sorry you are a feeble excuse for a woman. I’m also sorry that you didn’t commit suicide last night then I wouldn’t have this conversation.
Mal: You little swine, I ought to kick you in the balls.
Larry; Here I am lady, let me see you try.
Mal: Come outside and I will.
Larry: Well, lady, here we are.
Mal: So we are, and here it is.
Larry: Oh, you fucking whore, I will kill you for that.
Mal: You will have to catch me first, shit face.
Loll: Quick, Mal, let’s get out of here, we don’t want the law here, you know we can’t get mixed up with them again.
Mal: I am enjoying myself, but I can’t run so quickly these days.
Loll: What are you running down this alleyway for? His friends will follow us.
Mal: I want them to.
Loll: Please, Mal, not that.
Mal: If they want to play, let them. I am not someone to back away from a fight, you know that.
Loll: Dear God, please no, Mal.
Lenny: Here she is, Larry, I said she must be nuts for running into this alley. We can rape the shit out of her and then dump her in the river.’
Larry: You can rape the shit out of her you mean; I wouldn’t touch her with your dick, Lenny. I will cut her tits off though, that will be a good start eh?
Mal: You boys seem to be angry for some reason? Can you not just leave this as it is? It was a fair fight after all.
Larry: No-can-do, lady, you have to be dealt with properly. We are the Danger-Boys and this is our area, see, nobody can come here and start trouble; not even the Mince-Kids from twelfth street, let alone a scruffy disease ridden scum-bag like you.
Mal: I don’t know why I like coming to places like this, Loll. I suppose it is the excitement of it all.
Larry: Who are you talking to, lady? Are you nuts?
Mal: I am talking to my husband and he is going to teach you a lesson.
Loll: Please, Mal, let’s just get it over with.
Larry: OK, enough of this shit. Rennie, Duke, hold her down and gag her, and I will cut her tits off.
Mal: Come near me and I will kill you, be warned.
Loll: Please Mal, not again.
Mal: Hush, Loll, they are asking for it, so I will oblige them.
Larry: Yeah, lady, how are you going to oblige us?
Mal: Come here and find out, shit face.
Andy: What’s she doing? I think she’s is a total nutter, Larry, maybe we better just leave her.
Larry: Are you getting scared, Andy?’
Andy: No, but look at her, she is dancing around in a circle and singing as though she didn’t care!’
***
Mal: One two buckle my shoe. Three four knock at the door.
Loll: Please Mal, let’s hurry it up.
Mal: No, I want to enjoy it. Five six pickup sticks.
Loll: Watch it, Mal, here he comes.
Mal: A turn to the right, a turn to the left, one dead, two dead, all get red.
They’re starting to run, they have no gun, and I hope to God they have no sons.
Three dead, four dead, five dead, six dead, seven dead with lead in the head.
Now, that was easy, loll; you see how you were worried about nothing.
Loll: Put the gun away while I pick up the empty cases, we don’t want the police getting any evidence.
Mal: I must admit you picked a good place to hide my walther, right here in my bra, and I can also fit the silencer in there.
Loll: OK, Mal, let’s get out of here.
Mal: Right you are Loll, what now? Do you want to go to Niagara Falls? It is lovely at this time of year.
Loll: We have to lie low for a bit. OK, Mal, we can travel easy now, these bums had some serious money on them.
‘That’s the spirit Loll, screw these no-hopers. All he had to say was sorry.
Loll: You’re right Mal, I am getting too soft. Screw these scum bags.
Mal: We’ll pick up our bags from the motel and off we go just you and me, Loll.
Loll: Yeah, just you and me, Mal, same as always, we can take on the world!