Chapter 6: Simple Strategies for Getting Her Number
Getting her phone number isn’t all that there is to it when it comes to dating. In fact, you’ve probably had at least a few experiences where you got a woman’s phone number, and nothing ever came of it. Maybe you never even called her. On the other hand, if you meet a great woman and you want to have any chance of seeing her again, you have to have a means of contacting her again, and a phone call is still the best way to do that.
Now, there are HUNDREDS of ways to do this, but let’s keep this simple and look at three approaches that you can use to collect a woman’s number:
1. Give Her Your Number First
This is really effective because it shows her that you’re willing to give something to her as well. Yes, it might not be something she was asking for, but the impression is that you’re having a mutual exchange instead of you just asking for something from her.
The best way to do this is to make it a part of tying up the conversation: “Hey, I’m sorry I have to go right now, but I’m interested in talking again.”
Take out a piece of paper and a pen as you’re doing this, and write your phone number on one half of the paper. Then tear the paper in half and hand her both pieces of paper and the pen. This all takes place as you’re saying the above line. When you hand it to her, she’ll know what to do with it.
Of course, giving away a phone number might be something she’s a little uneasy about. Here are a few things you can say if she seems hesitant:
1 “Don’t worry: I’m not a stalker, and you can always block me if change your mind.”
2 “Come on; I’m giving you mine free of charge.”
3 ”I’m not much for talking on the phone, but I’d like to get in touch sometime.” (It’s important to smile as you’re saying these.)
2. The Text Approach
Asking a woman if you can text her is less intimidating for both of you, and it’s a great way to get her phone number. Now this approach is most effective if you have a reason to send the text. In other words, don’t just say:
“How about I text you sometime?” This just sounds weak, needy and indecisive. After all, when is “sometime” going to be?
Instead, include the request as a part of ending the conversation: “You know, it’s been really nice meeting you, but I’m meeting a friend for____. Do you text?
Take out your phone as you’re saying this, she’ll know just what you mean by it. Most women are more likely to accept a “text offer” than a request to call them. Text is easier to ignore and less awkward if you don’t know what to say at the time when you get it.
Even if she doesn’t text, she’ll say, “yes” if she’s interested. If she says that she doesn’t text and offers no other option, then being persistent at this point might just come off as desperate and lower your social value.
3. Set Up a Date; Then Get the Number
This is actually the most practical option. Think about it: if you want to talk to her again so you can get to know her, why not meet again? Getting to know someone over the phone can make meetings in person VERY awkward and even create an illusion of chemistry, which is absent in person.
Besides, think about it this way: If you’re going to risk her saying “no” anyway by asking for her number, why not just ask for the date? You might be surprised at how many more dates you’ll get this way.
Getting the phone number and then asking for the date on the call back is just adding an extra step and giving her a chance to lose interest. Not to mention that if she’s a woman of high value and she’s single, she’s getting a lot of other offers.
Besides, think about the impression that this creates in her mind: She has a “date” with some guy that she met. She’s more likely to tell people whom she knows about this, and every time that she does, she’s thinking about you...anticipating when she’ll see you again. This is MUCH different than giving you her number and then getting on with her day with no expectation of when you’ll call or even if you’ll call.
The best way to do this is to again make it part of closing the interaction: “Hey, I’m sorry I have to go right now, but I’m interested in talking again. How about we meet up later this week, like on____?”
Then you simply ask for her number, which is perfectly normal to have when you’re agreeing to meet someone.
It’s important here that you ask for a specific day and if you have a place in mind to tell her where as well. Don’t make this one of your date spots that we talked about; those might be a bit much for a first meeting. In fact, it’s always better to meet up for something simple like a cup of coffee or a drink so that you can get to know her better.
If this goes well, you can always follow up with a nice date.
HUGE TIP: Always be the first to end the interaction. This will prove to her that you’re not needy and will also usually leave her feeling like something is unresolved. You probably know at least a dozen people in your life whom you always have to end the conversation with....or else they’ll just keep going. How desperate and needy does this seem? Not only that, it’s taxing to feel that you need to cadence every conversation. By ending the interaction, you show her that you aren’t going to be high maintenance and that you’re a man of value who has a life to get on with.