A Story Narrated by an Amateur by Shivang - HTML preview

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CHAPTER 15

She did not quite understand what he had in mind but she said okay to what Mayank proposed.

He told her to arrange things as they were going for week-long pre-wedding honeymoon to

Manali on Friday night. She reminded him that he had an all important meeting coming up on

Friday with the owner of his newspaper and asked whether the journey same night would be

possible. He assured her that there would not be any problem. She could not see the smiling face

of Mayank on phone but she could sense the confidence and joy that his voice carried. He told

her that he had already booked the tickets and hotel and would be with her by Friday afternoon to

help her in packing.

Mayank smiled at the different strokes of destiny. Last time he had to meet the owner, he wished

to have some time beforehand to prepare for what he would talk with him.

This time, he had the

time, the whole evening and night to plan and prepare for the proposed morning meeting with the

owner but he did not feel the need for preparation. He sat by the window of his house watching

and enjoying the blank sky. The blue sky would gradually turn grey and finally black. The

darkness of the sky was what he was waiting for. He had a feeling it would look wonderful.

He reminisced and smiled. How many times in his life, he found and cherished loads of beautiful

purposes. He smiled because he realized how important stupidities of life are... how they extend

you the chance to be wise. How people miss the relevance of stupidities as catalyst of wisdom.

He recalled the efforts and pain he had to invest in the preparedness for attaining his purposes at

different stages of his life. The brilliance of the conspiracy of almighty...whenever he prepared

hard and meticulously for a purpose, he wanted to attain, he would invariably fail. He would feel

bad, low and frustrated about the wastage of his investments. Most of his successes came when

he had done the least preparation and was not even sure of the purpose. He had finally accepted

that preparation and purpose had a strange relationship. He understood that preparation for a

purpose is a misnomer. The preparedness is required for something which is uncertain. His father

would often tell him – „hope for the best and be prepared for the worst?.

He realized it that what

is certain and a definite purpose is what falls in the realm of hope and preparedness is required

for what is uncertain and does not form a purpose. If preparedness and purpose were linear

realities, there would have been far more success stories on earth. Success has traditionally been

referred to as object of desire, hope and dreams. The real world faces the trouble that failures are

the rule and most people are least prepared for it.

Mayank realized that one needs to be in the state of readiness not for a specific purpose but as

life in general. One needs not to prepare but to be ready. Preparedness is for a specific purpose

whereas readiness is for all time and circumstances to come. Readiness itself is the larger

purpose for all preparedness. Preparedness is only a process whereas readiness is the end

product, the final destination. The readiness is required not only for failures but also for

successes. Handling success is more tedious task than handling failures.

Success requires larger

readiness.

Mayank was in the readiness and that?s why he did not feel the need for preparedness before his

crucial meet with the owner of his newspaper next morning. The smile on his face was the shine

of satisfaction of the readiness. He smiled as he realized he had attained readiness. When you

attain, you go blank. The zero is the highest point of readiness. He thanked the almighty for

bestowing upon him a series of crises and loads of stupidity. He however prayed that the wisdom

of zero remained with him. He wished to continue with his readiness and not be part of any

preparedness in future.

He had realized his stupidity. The road ahead was clear to him. He had gone past the fear factor

in his life. And, the readiness, the ultimate and exalted beingness was just beyond the confines of

the fear factor. He remembered, how since childhood, he struggled to conquer a series of fear s he

thought he was born with. He grew up demolishing them but only to realize that he had added

more fears than he overpowered. The existential fears were replaced by fears that society

offloaded on him. He grew up accepting so many benchmarks of successes and goodness that his

family, his peer group, his seniors, icons and leaders lined up for him to follow. He grew up

preparing hard to win all the benchmarks and in time got more apprehensive of failures and

loses. Even successes, that came when he expected them the least, made him burry deeper in the

abyss of fear. Each success only stretched the benchmarks and prolonged the process of

preparedness. The fear never went away; rather it grew up engulfing his beingness totally. He

could not understand the elusiveness of the state of readiness; a stage after reaching where he

could say he had finally arrived. He could not understand the hydra-headedness of the fear; that

no doubt egged him to higher stage of preparedness but never allowed him the basic urge of a

lasting satisfaction. He had even started believing that life is a never-ending struggle for the

elusive satisfaction.

Love made him realize for the first time what wins all fears. Love taught him to rise above the

process of preparedness to the ultimate stage of readiness. He truly understood why he felt

fearless when in love. When true love happens; all good and cherished ideals of humanity fall in

your lap, they fill your being. Love embodies all goodness – honesty, transparency, selflessness

and egolessness and above all the compassion. It does the magic. It makes the willful merger of

individualism into the collectivity; the individuality of I dissolving into the collectivity of us.

Love fills the heart and mind with compassion and when compassion plays the music in the

heart, all cherished ideals and goodness of humanity get drawn into the mind. The fear goes

away the next moment as this happens. He thanked the almighty for making him understand the

fear factor and its dynamics. S ince ages, the genius of mankind had listed the ideals and ultimate

goodness for all people to follow and he realized that they were good and ideal because they

made one fearless. Honesty makes you lose fear as you are not apprehensive of being caught

with a lie. Transparency makes you fearless as you are not apprehensive of being caught hiding

anything. When you are with these ideals, you don?t fear the loss or losing out. When you attain

zero, you do not fear to lose as you have nothing. You do not fear as you have nothing to hide.

Being fearless is the ultimate readiness. He thanked almighty that he was chosen to be blessed

with love and compassion which made him fearless. But he understood that love too was only

the higher stage of preparedness and not the readiness. Love just shows you the road. The

readiness is attained when one totally personifies all the cherished goodness and ideals of

humanity. Love leads you to the door, the entry point of zero but then, you have to step ahead to

be into the zero. Every human being is blessed by the almighty to attain this readiness as all

human beings are given at least one chance to experience love. Only few of them understand

love. To the blessed ones is revealed the music of compassion when in love.

Very few people are

worthy enough to understand and appreciate this music of compassion that love plays for them.

Those who understand hit the road to readiness. Love and compassion reveals the road to real

preparedness – prepare to be compassionate, to be honest, to be transparent, to be selfless, to be

egoless. It reveals the necessity to prepare oneself for the joy of giving, the importance of us.

Love and compassion leads one to the ultimate empowerment of self – the ability to forgive.

When forgiveness becomes the first instinct, it is a sure sign that the stage of readiness has been

attained. The forgiveness is attaining the blank, the zero, the ultimate empowerment, the

readiness. You accept nothing - no pride, no self, no ego, no I and you give everything as you

forgive. The state of zero is the readiness.

Mayank sat on the chair in front of the couch that the owner preferred to sit. He had arrived at

the hotel ten minutes earlier than the appointed time. As usual, the owner showed no expression

on his face as he greeted him. Mayank knew the boss did it purposely. He was always a

businessman and not for a second, a true businessman would let off his guard. Toughness,

emotionlessness and matter of fact disposition are considered core benchmarks for smart

operators in business. The boss wore his mask as usual and Mayank understood it that the boss

perceived this meeting also as a business deal. No problems…he just smiled.

“What you have in mind”, the owner asked him casually, not even looking at him.

“Nothing specific...I have come here with a blank mind”, he said smiling.

“I had expected that you would join your duties after I had assured you we would talk. That?s

why I am asking you. Are you considering other options?”

“No, I am not going anywhere.”

This changed the expression on the face of the owner. Mayank understood; loyalty mattered

most to the boss. The media world is such a small place. He realized that somebody must have

informed the boss about the offer he had got from the rival newspaper.

“I appreciate your inputs and you will get due return for your good intentions. We have our

growth plans in the right place and I firmly believe in home grown leaders taking key positions

in my organization.”

The boss looked at Mayank expecting him to be happy as a reaction to his assurance. He

however showed no reaction. His thoughts were on something different.

“Last time, when we talked here, I had told you a story. Can I tell you another one, would you

mind?”

“I won?t if I understand it.”

“It is a very simple story. You might even have heard it before.”

“May be but when you tell them, they seem to carry a different message. Go ahead.”

“Once upon a time, there was a king named Uttanpad. He had two wives, Suniti (wisdom) and

Suruchi (beauty) but he loved the later more. From both wives, he had a son each and only

naturally, he loved the son from his favorite wife Suruchi more. One morning, the son from the

second wife Suniti, called Dhruv saw his brother playing in the lap of the king and he too desired

the same. His step mother however chided him and drove him away. Dhruv was only five year

old. He narrated the story to his own mother. His mother told him that he should instead aspire to

be in the lap of Lord Vishnu who is all powerful and rules the universe.

Dhruv took the advice

and headed straight to the forest for penance to attain his desire to be in God?s lap. In the forest

Sage Narad accosted him and knowing the resolve of Dhruv to appease Lord Vishnu, he taught

him a very difficult regime of worship to test his resolve. Dhruv followed the method for over

five months and finally the Lord appeared before him. Lord Vishnu asked him to seek anything,

any attainment which he thought of. Dhruv meekly said to him that he was just a child and asked

Lord Vishnu to give him the power of words so that he could sing hymns in his praise. Little

Dhruv even forgot to ask for what he had done all this impossible penance.

Lord Vishnu gave

him what he wished and also bestowed him the pole position which no man has ever got. He was

positioned as star above the universe and Lord Vishnu blessed him that the universe might

someday end but he would still sign as the star.”

The owner lighted a cigarette. Did not say a word for a few minutes as if he was trying to absorb

and assess the story. He rose from his couch and before going to his bedroom, he handed out the

pack of cigarette to Mayank. He lighted the cigarette this time and had the time to finish it as the

owner returned to his seat after five minutes.

“I think; I should not waste my grey matter. It is better you tell me what is the moral of the story

you want me to understand.”

“The story has so many of them. The king is supposed to be the repository of wisdom but this

king had his priorities wrong. He preferred Suruchi over Suniti; it suggests he indulged in

beauties and comfort of life neglecting the high and ideal principles of wisdom. The king is the

symbol of justice which presupposes unbiased disposition. The king however showed bias

against the son of his less favored wife. The mother of Dhruv was wisdom personified and she

showed her son what wisdom always does for humanity. Wisdom guides humanity to value love

and compassion over material gains. She prodded her son to aim for the love and compassion of

the highest order; that of the almighty. Dhruv was only five years old when he understood the

wisdom and headed for it. This suggests; wisdom is such a simple thing; it is such an amenable

reality that even a child can understand it. This also otherwise suggests; childlike innocence and

trust and right guidance can make people help attain the ultimate achievements. Then, the story

reflects the reality that when you attain wisdom, you do not want any other indulgence but the

infinity of the wisdom itself. Dhruv did not seek anything from Lord Vishnu but the almighty

himself. And the last thing is the compassion of the almighty. The Lord gives you something

which you do not demand. Almighty is so compassionate and magnanimous that he bestows on

you the supreme position.”

“I understand what you say but I believe; you have specific purpose in your mind which you

wish to convey to me through the story, like last time.”

“The purpose actually kills the endeavor. But still, as we are accustomed to a perception

mechanism; any initiative defined in terms of a purpose is understood easily. That way, the

story?s purpose is a simple message – what I wish to attain from you is irrelevant but what you

bestow is all important. The compassion is on your side as you are the Lord here. My pursuit

ends here as I have attained an audience with your compassion. It is the turn of your compassion

as to what it thinks as best to do. You can give me the crown; you can load me with wealth. Like

Dhruv, I seek none. I have attained your compassion. You have to decide what your compassion

bestows on me. It will show to your world what Lord?s magnanimity is.”

“I refuse to be the Lord. I can accept the call on my magnanimity; not in the way you put it; but

still, I need to be told which way I am expected to shape my magnanimity.”

“You cannot refuse the Lord position. You are the owner of an enterprise you have so

meticulously and successfully built. Millions of people are born and die remaining engaged in

arranging the basics of life – the resource to have two square meals. They seek livelihood, good

health, wealth and comfort from the lord almighty. No doubt, it is believed that God gives them

what they seek. But this is not the magnanimity of the Lord. The Lord has the pivotal role in the

sustenance and maintenance of goodness in the world he presides over. The mythology of Lord

Vishnu says that whenever there is loss of dharma, the core goodness on the earth, he takes an

incarnation to restore the balance. The magnanimity of the Lord is in restoration and

maintenance of the supremacy of goodness on the earth. It is entirely up to the magnanimity of

the Lord which way he would do it. The Lord may punish the erring elements and promote the

saner ones. The Lord alone can do it as he has the ultimate power and most importantly, he has

the compassion to ensure that the world he presides is ruled by goodness.”

“You draw a useless parallel between the businessman and bhagwan. I own the enterprise all

right but, I too have my hands tied. You won?t understand it. The more you rise in life, more you

lose the freedom to operate. The father of the family looks all powerful and resourceful. It is

rather customary to look up to the magnanimity of the father, the provider of the family but if

you put yourself in the position of the father, you would realize he is probably the most

vulnerable of the lot. You talk of the magnanimity... the father is at times forced to show his

worse ire to the family!”

“This portrayal of yours is so very close to the concept of the Lord. My parallel is perfect. The

almighty is the most vulnerable entity on earth. He is more challenged than cherished. And,

though he may never intend it to be like that, his fear is what helps establish his authority more

than his compassion. Most would say they are god-fearing people, never do they say they are

god-loving people. Humanity has always been made to fear the be-aawaaz lathi, the soundless

baton of the almighty. I am not saying the father should always show his magnanimity to all.

Even the almighty does not seem to do it. Father knows the best. He must.

We all trust. We must.

Even the punishment of the father is part of his magnanimity. It puts back the errant son to the

right track. Do take me right. I am just trying to say is that the father must always ensure that his

family is in right track. The family traverses the right path. The family understands and practices

the right principles of wisdom. This is my call to his magnanimity. I also call upon the

compassion of the father towards all members of his family. His compassion forgives the errant

son and bestows the pole position to the right son. But never ever he allows his errant son to

traverse the wrong path.”

“Okay. Let us accept that I am in a position where I am supposed to be magnanimous. Let us

also accept that this magnanimity calls for me to lead my enterprise or what you call my family,

to the established principles of goodness and wisdom. The next, I would need to know what is

currently wrong with my family, who are the errant sons and what correction I need to bring

about. But before that, I would like to ask you, what fruits of my magnanimity you would like to

have for yourself? What?s the pole position you want from me?”

“I think I can ask for a cup of coffee.”

“How demeaning…! Don?t underrate my magnanimity. I am generous enough to add some

sandwiches and French fries to the coffee. And, my pack of cigarettes is already with you.”

Mayank could not check a smile as the boss busied himself ordering things to the attendant

asking him to make a large cup of coffee and make it quick.

The boss lighted a cigarette and looked at his watch. Mayank looked at the face of the boss. He

looked relaxed. He had dropped his guard. The way he sat on the couch revealed that he had

assumed this talk with Mayank as personal and not part of his business negotiations. Mayank

however realized that there is a time factor. The bosses do not have long attention span. Also, the

boss looked more eager to actionable part of the agenda that he had been attempting to get

accepted.

“I have read your long mail three times. You had written that media was like army and our

people need strong training and sense of purpose like army. I appreciate that. I also believe that

right training makes productive work environment and work culture. Army like training sounds a

tough ask but a suitable training is what I also agree to. Do you have anything specific in mind?”

“I always had admiration for army life. We are middle class people and we have been trained to

see ethical purpose in life. I believed army duty is the highest purpose that a job can bring to

one?s life. I could not get into army but later, as a journalist I had the occasion to see the army

realities inside out. I have been fortunate to be trained in the mould of a journalist. There is a

basic instinct that is essential to be a good journalist. The instinct of inquisitiveness is a must. All

humans are born with this instinct but only a few keep this alive for long.

My inquisitiveness led

me to see things within army which made me feel sad. I have a few friends in para-military

forces and fortunately or unfortunately, I could also see the scenario out there. When I said we in

media need to see our job like an army duty, I meant what the job ought to be and not what it is. I

am amazed how much similarity the army and media have. ”

“If you think I should know these similarities in detail and it would put me in good position, as

the head of my enterprise, I would say you must tell me.”

“Yes, I will do it. In fact, I had come here to tell you only these facts.

I know, I have already

taken too much of your time but now I will wrap it up in quick time.”

“Take your time. I presume all this will help me do better the role you have told me I have as a

father of my family, or what you called the lord of my own universe. Let me accept that I?ve

been learning a lot from you. ”

“There is a story. Once sage Narad was saying eulogies to Lord Vishnu. He told the Lord that it

was so compassionate of him that he always took such great care of all his devotees. Lord

Vishnu surprised him by saying that it was not because of compassion but because of his own

selfish need. The Lord clarified that he learnt from his devotees what he had to do to be a lord to

them. He told Narad, „what I am is what my devotees make me to be. From their expectation and

exhortations I know what I have to be like?. Leaders are what their followers want him to be. In

India we are having a large crop of bad leaders because the people, their followers want them to

be like that. I am not making you learn anything. I am just telling you what we as your people

expect from you. ”

“My God Mayank...you always have a story ready for anything. How do you do that?”

“I am a media person. It is my primary role. The stories are there because there are so many

things people have to say and get exposed to learn.”

“Okay, I will someday spend a whole day with you draining out all your stories. Now let us

conclude. Tell me your army experience.”

“Yes, what I wished you to know about my army and para-military experience is that how lofty

ideals and purposes of media, like army is lost because of some fast growing trends and some

disoriented people. Army and forces are tough jobs, like media. The jobs are primarily sacrificeoriented.

This is well understood and that is why, the army especially is provided with extra

facilities and supports. The army has a special status and over the years, there is a sense of

superiority, bordering the feeling of elitism and exclusivity that I think has been well accepted in

the ranks and file. There are special canteens for army men from where, they are provided a

range of consumer items at dirt cheap rates. Then, there is quota for subsidized liquor. In the

media too, there is a similar situation. We may not have a separate dream canteen for us but the

whole market is made one. The dangerous trend in both army- forces and media is that both are

growingly being perceived as glamorous jobs. This is in complete contrast to what the intrinsic

natures of both jobs are. Both are sacrifice jobs and not in the wildest interpretation glamorous

and elitist jobs. The reality is that growing number of new breed of entrants in both jobs have

conflicting mindsets. Both jobs are being corrupted by the benchmark of exclusivity. ”

“And where do you think the fault lies.”

“What I saw is that both in army and media, the trouble-makers are in minority but as this

minority comprises officer rank people, we can say the mid-management people, they have the

power and access to wreak larger damages. I have seen officers in army and forces spending time

in their offices only to plan and execute for ensuring gains from the facilities and the status. In

the media however, the disease has affected even the lower rank journalists. But still, the

magnitude of corruption is with the leadership; the numbers may be with masses. One corrupt

minister is equal to ten thousand corrupt clerks and a million common masses in magnitude.”

“Can you tell me of any specific case of what you called the elitist and exclusivity trend? I think

I need to know what it is in actual picture.”

“There are many but I tell you of the most recent one. Few months back, a young man came to

our newspaper office. He told the editor that he wanted a job in media.

When asked about his

qualification, he said he had been in the jail for over a year and has come out on bail only a week

back. He said he had developed good contacts with top gang leaders who operated from within

the jail. He assured that he would provide exclusive stuff for good crime stories as even the gang

lords wanted media coverage to boost their image outside. He said he would not take any salary

but he would need a press identity card. The young guy is serving as lead input person for crime

stories now. He cannot write but his inputs make exclusive crime stories.

The editorial is happy

because it now has edge over the rival. The young man has his own happiness. When I asked him

why is he doing all this without any money. He said that money came to him from so many

sources but what this job gave him was status of a VIP. He said, „this director general of police

had refused to meet me when I had approached him in