Chapter Nine
Rose put her finger to her lips in warning as she and Moses eased from Sarah’s tiny cabin. She pulled her cloak tightly around her shoulders, patted her front pocket to make sure it was there, and looked carefully around. It would not do to be seen. She knew not everyone in the quarters was to be trusted. There were those who would sell out their own people in order to gain perceived favors. Rose grieved over those who were slaves not only in their bodies but also in their minds.
The furtiveness of her actions spoke a truth louder than words. Many were those who were enslaved by force, but there were just as many who had been taught to believe their own best interests would be served only by abiding by the wish of their master. They believed the lie that they were inferior and could only rise to the level of the master through slavery. Rose knew that once the brainwashing was complete and the slave’s mind destroyed, the slave would enslave himself. There would be no need to escape, for only through captivity could their dreams be achieved. She saw this in the eyes of many of the Cromwell slaves that had spent all their lives in slavery. That reality gave her the courage to do what she was doing. She was determined she would never be like them. She was willing to take the risks.
Moses followed Rose quietly as she headed for an unseen opening in the woods and slipped onto an almost invisible trail. Indeed, it was visible only to her, and she knew every dip and bend. Moses stayed close to her shadowy form as they melted into the dark forest.
The ebony night bent to embrace them, swallowing any evidence of their having been there. A soft wind whispered encouragement as they forged forward. The softness of the spring night wrapped itself around them, lending them courage to keep going. Every night sound seemed to whisper a refrain. Break the bonds. You are more than you believe. Break the bonds. You are meant to be free...
Rose continued to move forward gracefully, her thoughts on Moses. He walked as silently as she did, but she was aware of his powerful presence just behind her. She could imagine the fear he must be feeling. Her mama had told him to be careful, and here he was doing a thing that would certainly earn him a beating if he was discovered. He had made his choice, however, and she was glad to have him with her.
After several minutes, the trail took a plunging descent. Rose came to an abrupt halt and looked around carefully. Only blackness and the shadowy outlines of trees met her gaze. She felt Moses edge up next to her. She said nothing, just sank to the ground in a sitting position. Moses joined her, drawing his long legs up against his body. Still Rose made no sound. She knew a million questions must be rampaging through Moses’ mind, but he stayed silent.
Suddenly, a rustle broke the night. Moses stiffened and moved his long legs slightly. Knowing he was scared, Rose reached over and put a hand on his leg. “It’s okay.” Her soft voice was a barely discernable whisper. Moses remained tense but still. The rustling in the woods continued for long minutes.
Rose, sitting next to him, was aware of the tension coiling his body. She knew this young giant could ruin everything for them if he was not trustworthy. She had taken a chance, but every night she crept out into these woods was a chance. Her position as Carrie’s personal maid would not protect her if they were discovered. Every night the fear threatened to choke her. There had never been a beating on Cromwell Plantation. She didn’t want to be the first, and yet, every night she taught her school made that a possibility.
Rose shook her head, willing all such thoughts and pictures out of her mind. It would not do to let the fear take hold. That was the power, she knew. The white man ruled by fear. A people afraid were a people trapped in bondage. Break that fear and people would spring forward into freedom and liberty. That was why Rose was here. To help her people break the bondage of fear. When the time came for freedom, they needed to move forward with confidence. She would do what she could to make it possible.
“We’re all here now.”
Moses jerked as a strange voice whispered into the still night.
Rose pressed down on his leg once more and then moved her hand. Speaking in a low, controlled voice, she said, “Good. Did you bring the light?” Rose sensed rather than saw the shape that moved into the clearing to join them. Others emerged to join the first. A match flared and shattered the darkness. A shadowy shape moved forward with a handful of dry leaves. Another deposited an armful of tiny limbs and twigs. Gradually, a fire was created as more offerings were brought. Only when there was a steady blaze illuminating the clearing did everyone move forward and sink onto the ground around Rose.
Rose was aware the rest of the group was watching Moses closely. The looks were not unkind, but neither were they welcoming. No one spoke. They just watched and waited.
Rose was the obvious leader of the group. “We’re all here? Is William watching for us?”
“He sho is, Miss Rose.” The response came from a slight girl who looked to be only fourteen or fifteen. “My brother will make sure we won’t be caught.”
“Thank you, Jasmine,” Rose said absently as she looked around at the group filling the small clearing. “I’d like to introduce all of you to someone. This is Moses. He’s new among us. He came in from Richmond yesterday.”
Everyone nodded. They all knew that coming in from Richmond meant you had just been bought at auction. The curious stares continued, along with an increased tension. Rose understood. Never before had she brought someone so new to their little school. Usually they had to prove themselves. Rose knew she had to be careful. One wrong word spoken and all of them would pay the price. In her heart she knew it was okay, but she couldn’t expect the others to share the trust she felt for Moses— especially when she couldn’t even say why she was so sure of it herself. It would take time.
Moses gazed around the circle. Rose smiled at the surprised look on his face. What had he expected? He’d probably never known black folks who could read and write.
Seated next to him was Jasmine, the young girl who had spoken up for her brother. Her soft, young face glowed with eagerness in the firelight. Next to her was Sadie, a much older woman whose stooped shoulders and bent back spoke of long hours at the end of a tobacco hoe in the fields. Her eyes were fixed on Rose, impatient to get on with what they were here for. Next to her was Miles, the wise man who managed the stables for the Cromwell Plantation—quite a prestigious job by slave standards. They were young and old, field hands and house help. That was one of the beauties of her school. You didn’t often see field hands mingling with house help. House help usually had a condescending attitude toward those slaves forced to labor in the fields. There was none of that here, as they were all working toward the same dream.
Rose reached deep into her cloak and pulled out a pointed stick, some pieces of paper, and what looked like a book. She caught Moses’ look of amazement and smiled. Until tonight, it was likely he had never seen a slave with a book. Those belonged only to white folks. Rose looked around. “We have a lot to do tonight. I figure we have about three hours. The first thing I want to do is go over all the letters again. Once you know all of those, reading is a lot easier.” She leaned over to brush away the leaves that had fallen since their last meeting, picked up her pointed stick, and held it poised above the ground.
“Miss Rose?” It was Miles’ strong voice.
“Yes, Miles?”
“I got’s somethin’ yesterday in town I thought you might like to see.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a carefully folded piece of paper. “A fella slipped this into my pocket when nobody was lookin’. I can make out some of it, but the big words I ain’t so good with yet.” His voice caught with excitement.
Rose reached forward eagerly. It was always a special occasion to get something from the outside world. She managed, through careful listening and Carrie’s generosity, to find out much about the world beyond the confines of Cromwell Plantation, but there was still so much she didn’t know. Silence fell on the clearing as she grasped the offered paper. Then she looked at the headline and gasped. She took a deep breath and forced herself to read slowly, well aware everyone was watching her. She fought to control herself as the words poured into her mind. It existed! It really did exist! All the rumors were true. She had hoped and believed, but still she hadn’t been sure. But if this paper told the truth…
“What is it?” Miles’ insistent voice broke into her thoughts. “Is it what I think it be?”
Rose looked up, stared around at them, and looked back down at the paper. It was several moments before she began to read.
THE CONDUCTOR’S CALL
Welcome to all who want to come on board the Underground Railroad. There will be a conductor in your area soon. There are many trains running on a daily basis. Many are being carried to freedom in the North. Do you want to join your brothers and sisters who are now free?
Conductor Jamison will be visiting Cromwell Plantation. You must be on the watch for him. Let him know if you are interested in making a reservation. There are many who are working to free you.
Not a word was spoken after Rose finished reading. The whole group sat in stunned silence.
“It’s true then, ain’t it? We got a way to get out of here? Just like you said?”
Rose nodded. “Yes, Sadie. It looks like it is true.” All the while she was talking she was trying to control her spinning thoughts. She had hoped and prayed for so long—even when the hoping seemed to bring nothing but despair.
“What we gonna do, Miss Rose?” Miles asked in a hoarse whisper.
Rose wanted to laugh. She had been going to ask Miles the same question. She was only eighteen years old. Still, because she was their teacher, she knew they all looked up to her. Rose waited long minutes while her brain spun furiously. Finally, she spoke. “It’s up to each of us to decide that. Assuming this Conductor Jamison actually shows up, I could have him come to our school to meet with us.”
“How?” This question was from Moses. “I don’t know nothin’ bout the Underground Railroad, but how you gonna get a stranger through these here woods?” His voice said that she must be crazy to even consider it.
Rose shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll have to figure something out.”
Silence fell on the clearing once more. Visions of freedom floated through the air, tempting and tantalizing the hearts and minds that had recently awakened. Close on their heels were the voices of fear that had controlled them for so long. What if they were caught? What if these people who spoke of freedom were not really friends? And what if they ran away only to find their new lives were no better than their old?
“Rose?”
Rose turned to Moses and looked up into his confused eyes. “It’s the Underground Railroad!” She correctly interpreted his blank look. “They help slaves run away to freedom. I’ve heard about them for so long. There isn’t really a railroad. The name just stands for a lot of people who give up their homes and their time to help slaves reach freedom in the North. I’ve heard there are people who want to help us, but it’s just so hard to believe. I don’t know much, Moses. Everything is kept very secret. But I’ve heard about slaves who run away. And I don’t hear about them being brought back. That means somewhere they’re free!”
Visions of freedom pushed the dark specter of fear further from the dwelling.
“I kin hardly ‘magine what it would be like to be free.” Jasmine’s voice was a mixture of disbelief and fervent longing. “Maybe I could get me hitched to a man and not have him sold off.”
The visions grew stronger as each one dreamed of what freedom could mean to them.
“We’d be in a heap o’ trouble if we done get caught.” Miles’ words caused the fear to come charging back into the clearing. The visions began to fade. Fear crept closer.
Rose spoke. “It’s what all of you want, isn’t it? To be free?” She waited until all eyes were fixed on her, all heads nodding. “Our people have been controlled by fear for too long. Maybe this Conductor Jamison won’t even come. But if he does, we can’t let fear rob us of our dreams. All of us have had to fight fear every day of our lives. Fear of being beat. Fear of being sold. All of you have had to fight fear to meet here to learn how to read and write. I suppose all of life is fighting one fear after another.” She paused and looked around. “But my mama says that the only way to live is to fight those fears and do what comes to you. She says if you’re not fighting those fears, you’re not living. You’re just existing. That’s why all of us are here. Because we want to live.” She paused to let her words sink in. “I say we hear this Conductor Jamison out—if he shows up. We’ll know whether we can trust him or not. If we get in trouble for it, well, at least we’ll have been doing something to fight our fears.”
Rose’s words pushed back the remaining fear until it faded into the dark shadows. With visions of freedom filling the hearts and minds of all present, it was agreed Conductor Jamison would be invited to their next secret school meeting.
With that taken care of, Rose forced herself to the business at hand. If freedom was indeed imminent for some of her friends, she wanted them to go forth as prepared as possible. With great effort, she forced down her own boiling emotions. Now was not the time to deal with them. She looked up and caught Moses watching her thoughtfully. Rose looked away, but in that one brief moment she realized Moses had the ability to read her heart—to see beyond the surface to what was boiling just underneath. The knowledge both unnerved and intrigued her.
“Let’s see your alphabet, Jasmine.” Rose sighed with relief when the eager girl produced a stick and began to draw her letters in the soft dirt. Activity was always her refuge when things became too overwhelming. She welcomed the distraction, especially now.
Moses leaned forward to watch Jasmine’s intense features as she drew. Rose knew the symbols she was drawing made no sense to him.
“Excellent, Jasmine. I can tell you’ve been practicing.”
“Yessum. At night when no one be watching. I do them only one at a time so I can scratch if out if anyone sees me.”
Rose smiled her approval and the girl’s face glowed. There were only three years separating the two, but the gap seemed much larger. Rose knew the gap would lessen as Jasmine fed her eager thirst for knowledge. She turned next to Miles. “How about you, Miles?”
The old man smiled proudly. “I ‘bout got dem all. I tells you though, Miss Rose, I sho be tired of writing letters in the dirt. I want to be doin’ some readin’!”
“And you will be soon, Miles. But reading isn’t much different from training one of your young horses. I’ve watched you work with them. You have to lay a solid foundation before you can ride them. Isn’t that right?”
“Yessum. That’s right.”
“Well, reading is the same,” Rose said, staring around the circle at everyone. “If you don’t lay a solid foundation, you’ll never be able to do it right. Once you learn all those letters, you’ll know how to move forward. You’ve got to get the basics right.” She laughed suddenly. “I understand, though. I wanted to read the very first day Miss Carrie and I had a book set in front of us. I could hardly wait to know what all those shapes meant.”
Rose lifted the sheets of paper she held in her hands and turned to Sadie. “Read this for us, Sadie.” Sadie had been her first student, and now she read beautifully.
Sadie’s face shone with pride as she reached out her hands for the papers. Edging closer to the firelight, she inspected the papers. “Why, this be a newspaper! The Richmond Enquirer.” She gazed at Rose wide-eyed. “Where you get this paper, Rose?”
Rose shrugged and smiled. “Read it, Sadie.”
Sadie gave a short laugh. “You be somethin’ else, girl. One o’ these days, though...” She scanned the lines of the paper and her eyes sharpened. “Hmph. There can’t be no truth to this one!” Settling down, she began to read. Her voice was halting and unsure when she encountered the big words, but she plowed on, determined to conquer this latest challenge.
PREFERS SLAVERY TO FREEDOM
Some four or five years since, William Burnett, of this county, by will, emancipated his slaves. The will was made by the testator in extremis, and its validity was strongly contested. Many of the people of the county and all the members of the bar will remember the interesting and exciting incidents of the trial. The Negroes succeeded in the contest and established their right to freedom. In pursuance of the testator’s instructions, they were carried to the State of Ohio and there settled on a tract of land bought for their use and occupancy. It has been scarcely a year since they were snugly domiciled beyond the banks of the Ohio, in free territory.
On our return home from last Mecklenburg County Court, we met a Negro wending his way along the plank road in the direction of Boydton. He stopped us with a hearty and cordial salutation. It was the same Isaac Burnett who had been foremost in the struggle for freedom before the circuit court of the county only some eighteen months before. He informed us that, abandoning his interest in the lands purchased for him and his associates in Ohio, he had deliberately returned to Virginia for the purpose of enslaving himself to a gentleman of Boydton, where it was his wish to spend the balance of his life. He is young and healthy, of decided intelligence, and better calculated for freedom than the majority of Negroes. But he had become thoroughly satisfied from a fair experiment that it was a curse rather than a blessing in his case, and consequently, he deliberately resolved to change his condition to that of a slave. He gave us a most deplorable account of the present state and future prospects of the little free colony he left behind him in Ohio. He said all were dissatisfied and would return if they could. That they had made little or nothing since their arrival in Ohio, and that their chances to make anything were next to nothing. In fact, that their condition was truly pitiable.
Sadie ground to a halt. Then her voice rose indignantly. “Why, who ever heard of such nonsense!”
Rose lifted her voice against the murmur of agreement filling the clearing. “What if it’s true?”
Miles turned toward her. “How could you say such a thing, Miss Rose?” he asked. “Who ever heard of a slave wanted to go back to slavery if he finally got hisself free?”
Rose looked at him thoughtfully. She had spent many hours thinking about this. “What do you think it would be like if you were free, Miles?”
Miles looked at her carefully now. “Well, I think it would be the greatest thin’ in the world. I would be responsible only for myself. I could come and go as I please. I could have horses of my own—not just have to take care of Marse Cromwell’s. I could have me a wife, maybe even find June.” His eyes clouded over as he thought of his wife, who had been sold a few years before to parts unknown.
“What if you didn’t have any money, Miles? What if you never owned a horse of your own? What if no one wanted to be your wife? What if you had to work all the time just to survive?”
“That ain’t gonna happen, Miss Rose.” Miles protested.
Rose persisted. “But what if it did? What if it did?”
Miles gave a frustrated sigh. Several long minutes passed while he stared into the fire. Finally, he looked up. “Then so be it. Even if I had nothing, I would have myself. I would have my freedom. That means more to me than anything. It would mean people would look at me and see another human being—not just a thing.”
Rose smiled tenderly. “Hang on to that, Miles. You may need it someday.” She gazed at the rest of the group. “All of you need to be asking yourself that question. You say you want to be free. Why? Being free doesn’t necessarily mean all our troubles will be over. It just means we’ll have the opportunity to handle them on our own. The man in that story didn’t figure on freedom being hard. He thought it was the answer to all his problems. When he found out that it wasn’t, he ran back to what he had always known. My mama says it’s kind of like Israel wanting to go back to Egypt. It was horrible, but at least they knew what to expect, and they could always blame their misery on someone else.” She paused and looked around again. “I can teach you how to read and write, but you have to teach yourselves how to think. You have to ask questions. Lots of them. But my mama says it doesn’t do any good to ask questions if you aren’t going to look hard for the answers. We’ve all got to be doing that. The day may be coming soon for some of you to be free. Are you sure that’s what you want? You’d better be.”
Rose’s little school stared at her in the darkness. Flickering firelight illuminated the confusion on their faces. They had never heard Rose talk like this before. She had challenged them plenty of times, but she had never been quite so harsh. Rose felt a slight twinge of sympathy for her students, but she pushed it down. The questions she had thrown at them were important ones—ones that demanded answers. Daily, she battled the frustration that she had come up with the answers for herself, only to realize the answers made no difference.
Moses, watching Rose closely, knew exactly what she was doing. His own mama had done the same for him. Even before his daddy had been killed, she had pestered him with questions. Nothing he ever said could be taken at face value. She had to know why he had said it, why he felt it, and what he wanted from those feelings. He understood the group’s frustration, but he also understood Rose’s motive. His mama had told him that it was only when he stopped thinking for himself that he would be a slave. He could still hear her voice. It’s only when they own your mind that they really own you, boy. They never owned your daddy. And they’ll never own me. I’m not a slave, boy. I’m a human being. I just happen to live in slavery.
Moses thought back over the night. He had wanted to turn around and run when he and Rose were walking through the dark woods. He knew he was committing a crime deserving of a beating—at least in his master’s eyes. His feet had kept him moving even though his heart screamed at him to run, to not do this thing that would guarantee enmity from the man Sarah had cautioned him about. Still, his feet had moved forward, his heart pulling him toward a destiny that was murky darkness.
Moses wasn’t sure when he had started to give up. He wasn’t sure when he had started to feel like a slave. But tonight, Jasmine had changed all that for him. If that little thing of a girl could read, well then, so could he. Watching her draw her letters carefully in the dirt had fired a determination in him. It was just a small flicker, to be sure, but at least it was burning. He thought he would never feel again after seeing his family led away from the auction block. Now, he had a dream that was slowly taking shape.
The rest of the night flew by as each student worked hard on their letters or took turns reading from the paper Rose had brought to school. They didn’t care that they had to share. Anything to read was considered a miracle.
Rose settled back against a tree as the last of her friends slipped into the cover of darkness. She knew they were all taking different paths through the woods and that they would all come out at a different place around the quarters. They had become skilled at slipping undetected into their cabins. There may have been those who suspected what was going on, but so far none had revealed their secret.
Rose was tired. Each day was exhausting. Her work was endless. She knew she had it easier than many of her friends who were field hands, and for that she was grateful, but it did nothing to ease the exhaustion with which she ended each day. Her little midnight school was where her heart was, but in spite of the joy she felt when one of her students was suddenly reading, the energy it took was draining.
“That’s a mighty big sigh.”
Rose started at the sound of Moses’ voice. She had almost forgotten he was there.
He stared deeply into the waning flames. “You got a dream?” His strong voice was both thoughtful and serious.
Rose looked at him, wondering if she should take the risk of telling him. Would he make fun of her? She decided to be honest. “Yes, I have a dream.” Closing her eyes, she allowed it to take shape in her mind. She could see it as clearly as if she were actually living it. “I’m going to be a teacher. I’m going to live where I’m free, and I’m going to have a whole school of free black children who are eager to learn and break the shackles that have held them for so long. I’m going to have all the books and writing material I can use. I’m going to raise all my children in freedom. And I’m going to travel.” The dream continued to flood her mind. “I’m going to travel all over the North. I’m going to see New York. I’m going to Philadelphia and Boston. Maybe I’ll go all the way out to the Oregon Territory!” She stopped and laughed. “You must think I’m a fool,” she murmured, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t.
Moses shook his head. “No. From where we be sittin’ right now, your dreams seem impossible. But my mama used to say that’s what dreams were fer. To make the impossible seem possible. She believed dreams could come true. Somewheres along the way I quit believin’. Maybe it was that night I saw my daddy hangin’ from a tree. He died trying to make his dreams come true. I guess any I might have had died with him dat night. My mama tried to keep them goin’, but it just didn’t make no sense to me”. He stopped and stared at Rose. “But you...you gots what it takes to make your dreams come true.”
“What about you, Moses? What do you want? Even if you quit believing in your dreams, you must still have some.”
“I wouldn’t have had no answer for that till t’night. But somethin’ stirred in me while I be here.” A deep silence fell as Moses struggled to put his feelings into words. “I’m gonna be free fo’ my daddy. An’ then I’m coming back. Comin’ back to get my mama and sisters no matter what it takes. One day we’s all gonna be free.”
Rose’s heart ached for him. His next question caught her by surprise.
“You gonna be running off on that Underground Railroad?”
“No.” It hurt to even say the word, and she caught her breath against the pain.
Moses looked at her in surprise. “But you said yourself that it was people willing to help slaves be free. How come you gonna pass up a chance like that? I figured you’d be the first one to go.”
“Well, you figured wrong.” Rose knew her voice was sharp. Moses’ question had stirred up the turmoil that had boiled in her soul all night.
Moses said nothing else, but Rose knew he was watching her closely. She turned and looked into his deep eyes. Rose felt a slight sense of panic that those eyes could read her so well. Part of her wanted to turn and run as fast and as far as she could. Another part wanted him to see every part of her. “I can’t go, Moses,” she finally whispered. “I could never be free as long as my mama is a slave. I will never leave her. I will do what I can here to help my people, but I will never leave my mama.”
Moses nodded. “I understand,” he said simply. “I understand, Rose.”
Rose took comfort in believing him. Somehow, it lessened the pain of her decision.
No more words were spoken as the two scattered the remains of the fire so as not to leave a trace of their presence, and traveled back along the path from which they had arrived. If anything, Rose was more careful. Anyone up and around in the quarters would be sure to hear the betraying crack of a limb. Breaking out into the edge of the clearing above Sarah’s cabin, Rose came to a standstill. She motioned with her hands to indicate Moses was to keep going. He touched her arm and then melted into the shadows along the edge of the woods. Rose watched only for a moment before she turned and disappeared back into the woods. It would never do to return on the road leading to the quarters. It would be too easy for someone to spot her.
Rose slipped from the woods just behind the big house. She glanced up at the window where she knew Sam was watching. Sam didn’t care anything about learning to read, but he did care about taking care of her. The old butler had watched her grow up from a child. She edged carefully across the yard to the back door. Sam always made sure it was open for her. Under his careful tutelage, Rose had learned which boards to avoid so her steps would not create alarming creaks in the house. Not until he heard the soft closing of the door to her tiny room would Sam move away from the window where he watched so carefully. Rose was late. He would wonder what kept her out so long.
Eulalia Adams couldn’t sleep. She didn’t know how long she had tossed and turned in the darkness. Dread kept her awake. It was late and her husband wasn’t home. She knew that meant trouble.
Just then, she heard the sound of horse hooves pounding on the road. Oh God, let the children stay asleep, she thought. She remembered the terror of her own childhood. She didn’t want that for her own chi