— Chapter Eighteen —
It was twilight when they arrived back at the Sawasdee hotel. The girls had switched on their mobile phones while on the bus and Dao called Luanne who told them that the police had been searching for them and Nick had been questioned over their disappeared. Pon overheard their conversation and smiled.
The girls then relayed the news to Spock and Stu, who looked a little bemused and worried, until Pon spoke to the girls and said, “Mai me banhaa.” No problem, as he had already sorted out the police.
Stu and Spock realised they knew nothing about this funny little monk; maybe they would gain better knowledge in the next few days. Which they sadly knew was all they had left of their holiday.
Nick and Luanne sat in the hotel lobby when the group arrived back Dao and Moo went over to Luanne.
Stu, Spock and Pon went over and sat down next to Nick to get his moaning out of the way. Nick had altered since they had first met him. Now he had a plaster cast on his arm, a bald patch with a small gauze dressing taped to his head, covering ten silk sutures and, no front incisor teeth. The lads assured this gummy vampire that his teeth were somewhat safe. Nick continually moaned on about how much they would cost to replace, how much they cost to buy, and how expensive his treatment had been. Pon, not being able to understand the conversation went to join the women. After he’d left the table, Nick asked who he was, to which the Spock joked that he was a trained assassin and now their bodyguard.
Spock did not realise how right he was about the first part, until Nick mentioned that the Thai man that had been taken to hospital had subsequently died , which was why the police were now looking for them.
Stu and Spock, a little shaken up by this news, called Dao over and told her. She just nodded and said,
“I know, Pon already told us that he had been in the alley when his brother jumped out of the window, he told me that his brother had attempted retrieve the holy relic from the two foreigners who had stolen it and that’s how he knew you and Spock must have found it.”
“What about his brother?” asked a concerned Stu?
“His brother,” Dao went on, “was a brave warrior, which is why Pon needed the ashtr…relic to restore order and in memory of his brother.”
Pon had told the girls only a small white lie.
The lads believed this and presumed that Dam had died from his bullet wound. They thought best not to dwell on it too much, and, as the police were no longer involved, it must be true.
Dao returned to the girl’s table and Pon spoke to her. She then came back over to the three boys and said
“Pon wants see the relic?”
Spock thought fast
“I have an idea,” he said.
They fetched Pon over to the table and told him that Spock, the great white monk, would bring down the relic. However, Pon replied that he would rather receive it in the room, for a private ceremony, and he would go to the toilet and change into his monk’s robes.
“Quick Spock,” said Stu.
They went in the lift to the third floor and Stu took out the box from his bedside drawer and sprung open the lid. Spock came from the lift with a plastic cup filled with some sand, taken from the ashtray outside the elevator. They placed some sand around the tissue paper that contained Nicks’ denture, shook out the excess into the sink and snapped shut the lid and then causally sat on the bed with the box on the bedside table after shaking it to make sure it sounded, and felt, similar to the original.
Approximately ten minutes later Pon, Dao and Moo came to the room. Pon dressed in his monks’ robes, with his sheathed sword on his red sash. He entered the room and caught a glimpse of the holy relic that was slightly dented from the fall. He spoke to Moo, who asked Spock if he could hold the box while Pon prayed. Spock picked up the box and presented it to Pon, who knelt down and took some essence sticks that he had obtained from the hotel reception and lit them. Wafting the wisps of scented smoke around the room, he chanted his mantra. The girls stood in silent prayer. Stu sat on the bed and smirked as Spock bent down like the pope, with the golden box in his hand and a stupid smile. Stu took a few photographs of this to finish off his film, and to give him something to do in order to stop him burst out laughing.
Pons ceremony lasted about 15 minutes and when it was over, he took the holy box, carefully wrapped it in a silk cloth and placed it in his robe pouch. He then turned around to give a quick blessing to the girls, and smiled. He mentioned something to Dao, who scowled at him and spoke to Stu.
“He wants to go out now.”
Stu had booked a room for Pon on the same floor. Pon became a little concerned about the relics safety until Stu assured him that the girls would be staying in the room, so it would be well taken care of until they got back. Pon showered, then neatly and ceremoniously folded his robe and put his Glave on top for protection. He then went to Stu’s room and handed the bundle to Dao, who placed it in the wardrobe. Stu and Spock returned from the mini mart, and stocked the girls up with fruit based alcoholic drinks and other provisions for the night.
Nick, Spock, Stu and Pon went into the hot sticky night air.
“First on the agenda,” said Spock “We’ll buy Pon some new clothes he has been wearing the same jeans and T-shirt for three days now. Then,” he continued, “I think Soi 6 would be a good place to start, on our mission to get the mad monk laid.”
It was a good night, the entertainment mainly being provided by a shy, Pon. Although the language barrier was a bit of a problem, they overcame this with gestures. Pon translated through the many lady muggers who, like before, had swarmed onto the lads. The Thai women were not that receptive to Pon, and although he never mentioned the fact he was a monk, just the fact he was a Thai man, was enough to put the ladies off as they would not receive any money from him. That problem however, was soon overcome when Spock and Stu offered a rather buxom Thai woman, 1000Baht to take care of their friend and work colleague. Pon and the lady disappeared into a room above the bar, and returned several minutes later, with a glazed look over the face of Pon and a smiling lady who had just made the quickest 1000 Baht she had earned for a long time.
They took Pon for a ‘soapy’ at Sabaiiland and by the end of the night; he was ‘one of the lads’. They had him drinking beer again although they’d informed him that Heineken beer, because the bottle was green, contained no alcohol, unlike the Singha on the island. He fell for this and quickly became spannered and working his way to shitfaced. The lads decided they’d had enough laughs for one night and returned home to the girls at one o’clock.
Embarrassed, Pon went along Stu’s room and tried to act sober. He bowed to the girl’s and took his robes back to his room, and slept on the bed. He had already been on three that night, so he thought he might as well sleep on a fourth and, with a satisfied grin on his face, he fell into a blissful sleep. For 29 years, this little Tinju warrior had devoted his life unselfishly to his cause of wisdom and courage, on the path to enlightenment. It had taken two men from a strange country with their strange non-religious habits, three days to lead him astray, and he enjoyed every minute.
The other three went to Stu’s room. Nick took Luanne back to his room, as she was spannered, as were the other two girls. Stu had suggested a game of dominoes, but Dao spannered and feeling in a romantic mood, gave Stu a long lingering kiss and started to rub his todger over his shorts, and then whispered,
“Are you sure you want to play dominoes?” and nibbled his earlobe.
Spock and Moo were shoved out the door, which was closed behind them. Moo looked at Spock and smiled
“You want boom-boom,”
Spock looked at Moo.
“Shame not too,” he said, and they rushed to their room.
*Public places such as airports, shopping malls, and hotels in Thailand, have small conical metal bins. Rubbish goes in the main section, on top is a dish like container filled with sand for cigarette stubs, as there is no smoking in elevators, they all have at least one of these on every floor to allow people to extinguish their cigarettes or cigars before getting into the elevator.
Most houses and business have small-decorated shelves hung on the wall, these usually contain a statue of significance, Buddha or a King, fruit and drink for offering to Buddha, and they have a sand filled container for incense sticks. Every night, usually at six o’clock they light the incense sticks and pray for continued good luck with their lives or business. This is an essential part of a Thais life, and this routine is carried out daily.