— Chapter Twenty-One —
That dreaded day had sprung upon them, a day that they would hate and had been counting down to. It was the day they had to go back to the place that only a few short weeks ago they fondly called home, but now referred to as the freezing cold, depressing, shit-hole, England.
Spock and Stu thought the time had gone far too quickly. A sentiment not shared by their new friend, Nick, who thought it couldn’t have come soon enough as he was running out of pain free extremities and money, in his constant forking out for hospital bills. Their flight was due to leave at 3 pm and, with the time zone difference, they would arrive in England later the same evening. They had booked a taxi for 11am to take them to the airport, which gave them plenty of time to check in. They woke up early and silently started to pack, joined by Dao and Moo, who had moved several items into the room that they had called home for a few weeks.
It was a sombre air in both rooms as they slowly folded their belongings and packed them into their suitcases, each item held a memory of the last few amazing weeks that had changed their lives. They had never been so happy or contented and knew, with the exception of Chunky, nobody would believe their tales. They had been told by one friend prior to leaving and, later by Nick, not to try to explain Thailand, as nobody would believe you. At the time Stu and Spock thought their friend’s had been talking rubbish, but now weren’t so sure. It certainly wasn’t normal to go out in England and have a great time, be surrounded by beautiful oriental woman who took the greatest of care, eat delicious food any time day or night, get drunk 24 hours a day and stay cheaply in a four star hotel. They had been used to going out, getting spannered, buying loud obnoxious drunken slappers drinks in loud obnoxious places, and then going back to their cold flats with a bag of cold food, alone and get no change from a £100. £20 of which would be spent on taxis. Before they had come to Thailand this was all that they knew and accepted this existence as normal. It was all they knew. In Pattaya they’d spent less than £50 a day and getting so much more.
“Mate,” said Stu, as he made his way into Spock’s room “I think we will get Chunky a packet of digestive biscuits and she can listen to our tales. She is a good listener and it will only cost us a packet of biscuits.”
To which Spock replied,
“I had forgotten about that stupid dog, all she will get is my foot up her arse.”
There was a love hate relationship between Spock and Chunky, but deep down the big gentle giant had a soft spot for the old dog. Many times she would trot upstairs to Stu’s flat with a mouthful of chocolate, Followed closely by Spock who accused her of pinching it off his table.
“Likely story,” Stu used to say, “You never leave chocolate uneaten long enough to reach your table.”
Spock had also been witnessed holding a drunken man by the throat and shaking him for kicking Chunky, who had been sitting outside the salon minding her own business. Yes, this gentle giant had a soft spot, although he would never admit it.
They all went for breakfast at their new favourite spot. The Yorkshire rose, a small restaurant, which did a full English breakfast, better than any they’d ever tasted in Cleethorpes.
Nick had booked later that day to have some temporary plastic crowns put on and when he got home to England, he would try the NHS and change for ceramic. He ate soup.
They ate breakfast and returned to the hotel to pay and get their belongings. Dao and Moo wanted to go to the airport to see the two lads off. Stu and Spock had given the girls 10,000 Baht each, the night before, to take care of them for a while. The grateful girls had given them their treat in return, and neither of the two lads had a seed left between them. The Listerine share price also took a tumble as sales declined
Stu and Spock stood at the reception and waited for their bill. The hotel manager came to the desk and Wai-ed the pair.
“You two, do not have to pay, that had already been taken care of.”
The two lads looked at each other; confused and then Spock said.
“Pon must have had something to do with this, the little shit.”
Stu agreed, and said
“I hope someday we run into the amusing little chap again”
They again signed Nicks’ plaster cast and Spock asked.
“Who was going to take care of you now?”
‘Certainly not you two f*****g m***er f****r b*s**ds’ thought Nick
They waited in the courtyard of the hotel and a large white chauffeur driven car drove into the car park. The chauffeur exited the car and spoke to the waiting group, and in broken English asked, “Mr. Stuart Wilson and Mr. Peter Harris.”
“That’s us,” said Spock and Stu, “but we ordered a taxi.”
The driver spoke to the two girls and they translated with a quake in their voices
“Courtesy of the King.”
Stu and Spock put their bags in the boot and asked the driver if they could bring along Dao and Moo and then return them to Pattaya, he bowed and said, “of course,”
Nick watched the lads as they got in the car. Dao and Moo had been talking to a now envious Luanne. Spock and Stu shook Nick’s good hand and got in the car, telling him to take care. The car drove out of the courtyard, Stu asked the chauffeur to make a quick stop off en route to which the driver happily agreed. The four sat in the back of the plush vehicle, they felt like royalty and laughed and joked with the girls and royally waved behind the darkened windows, and at the people walking down the road “peasants,” joked Stu.
Nick and Luanne went to the edge of the courtyard to wave them off. The car had only gone a short distance and Luanne went back inside. Nick stood and watched, as the car slowly made its way along the road. Nick wanted to make sure these two, who he was sure had jinxed him, were gone. He leant out into the road, one last wave he thought, and through grated teeth smiled, and thought, ‘Thank god, they’ve finally gone.’
A passing Baht bus then hit him.
The side of the bus hit Nick hard on his right shoulder and spun him around like an ‘atomic slinky’ into the courtyard, he lands on his right shoulder, which thudded and he felt his bones snap on the hard stone floor.
Dao looked out of the car’s rear window and saw Nick being hit, the Baht bus didn’t stop, they never do, and it just sped up and drove away.
“A Baht bus hit Nick,” she said, the others looked back and saw nothing.
“Stupid women, speak English, what do you mean?” said Stu, and then followed a short sharp slap from Dao around his head.
The car drove out of Pattaya towards Bangkok. After ten minutes they pulled into a place in Banglamung town. A sign above the drive read ‘Baan Jinjay’ the car pulled up to some small buildings, which resembled a tatty resort. All four got out and went into an office. A large German priest was sat behind a desk, along with a Thai Christian nun in deep discussion. They went silent as the four walked in and Stu placed an envelope in front of the priest. The four then turned, walked out of the office and got back into the car.
The flabbergasted priest looked inside the envelope and showed the nun, they both smiled and looked out of the window as the large car reversed. They tipped the money onto the desk and stared.
“There must be a few thousand dollars here,” said the priest. The sign on the wall behind him read ‘Baan Jinjay, Pattaya orphanage’.
The journey to Bangkok airport along the motorway was swift; however the mood in the car was solemn and silent. Although Stu did mention the answer to the question on the first page:
The name of the couple who got married was Mr. and Mrs. Not, so the two boys are Not brothers.
Moo had done this routine a few times seeing men off, but never in this style, and never with the same feeling she felt being with Spock. This was Dao’s first time and she felt strange, although she and Stu had only been together a short time, she could not imagine being with anyone else other than Stu.
“That will pass once they’d gone and we go back to working in the bar” explained Moo in Thai.
Stu and Spock were gutted by it all, and mostly just held onto the girls. They wanted to take them home with them, but knew getting a visa was virtually impossible, many people in Pattaya who constantly moaned, had told them about this fact.
The car came to a halt outside the doors of terminal One, at Don Muang international airport and the chauffeur removed Stu’s and Spock’s bags. They went inside the airport, accompanied by the girls and checked in.
They all stood holding onto their respective partners for the last time and arranged to phone regularly. Stu had already made plans in his mind, that he would book another flight as soon as he got home. Dao and Moo said they would wait for them. The lads knew that meant they would still be working the bar and sleeping with strangers, but knew when they came back to Thailand, hopefully the girls would finish with who they were with and go with them. This, although hard to accept, is the Thai way. Bar girls have to earn money and the only way is to go with foreigners. Stu and Spock both offered to send money to them, but unlike most girls, they turned down the offer .
“I will wait for you,” said Dao and Stu assured her she would not be waiting long.
“And next time I will take you to England” he said. “I never want to be without you and, ‘Duengdao Wilson’ has such a nice ring to it.” They both laughed and with one last hug Dao and Moo walked away and towards the door. Stu and Spock watched them and waved as the two girls exited.
There was always a sombre feeling in the departure lounge at the Bangkok international airport, many of the leaving tourists stay with their holiday companions until the end, not wanting to let go. It must be the saddest place in the world.
Both Stu and Spock had lumps in their throats and felt like bursting into tears. They composed themselves and walked into the departure lounge. Their lives would never be the same.
Thais require a visa to enter countries outside South East Asia. It is a well-known fact the United Kingdom is one of the most difficult to obtain. Most embassies just stamp the visa as routine. However, for UK it is a strict interview with copies of guarantees and bank statements and funds available for the person’s stay. The Thais also need to have a reason to return, Business, property etc. and a healthy bank account. Even then, it is not guaranteed that they will obtain a visa, even just for a short holiday and marriage to a Thai does not guarantee a visa, which can be a long process, hindered by non-descript, grey suited jobs-worth.